May, a season of radiant spring and lush greenery.
It was the perfect time for outings, and Bai Ning was pregnant at just the right moment.
When she was young, Bai Ning and Jiao Jiao had been bored and so calculated the dates when they and their friends came into this world. Pay attention, it wasn't their birth dates, but rather the dates ten months before their birthdays, the day when their parents had their XXOO moments, you know? Well, Jiao Jiao and Xiao Ningzi were astonished to discover that 80% of their friends were conceived in the months of March to May!
(Note: "XXOO" is a euphemistic way to refer to sexual intercourse in Chinese.)
In other words, it was the season of flourishing spring; in other words, besides cats and dogs, humans also experience the springtime of their desires.
However, Bai Ning, as a newlywed, had been married to Ren Han, the Demon King, for over two months without any signs of pregnancy. Both sets of parents anxiously looked at Bai Ning's flat belly and grew worried. In their desperation, the four parents and two grandmothers unanimously suspected that there was a problem with their physical condition.
Afraid that the young couple would feel embarrassed if they were asked to get checked on their own, Bai Ning's father came up with a plan and insisted that they go for a medical examination due to the recent outbreak of a sickness. The young couple, oblivious to the real intention, obediently went for the examination according to Bai Ning's father's arrangement. Little did they know that they would be shocked by the results.
As it turned out, the key problem lay with Bai Ning.
For nearly three months, she had been taking contraceptive pills.
Bai Ning's father was furious, Bai Ning's mother roared, Ren Han's father hid in a corner drawing circles with a book titled "Complete Book of Names," and Ren Han's mother was so angry that idioms splattered everywhere. Bai Ning huddled in the corner of the bed, trembling, but she couldn't help but defend herself, "I'm not ready to be a mother yet. Besides, my boys' love novel has been noticed by a publishing house, and I'm hoping to submit it and get it published before the end of the year. If I get pregnant, I won't even be able to touch the computer. Please, spare me!"
Ren Han, who had been sitting quietly on the sofa with his arms crossed, listened to his wife's confession and was unexpectedly gentle. He patted Bai Ning's head and smiled, "Silly, why didn't you say that you didn't want children yet? We can discuss it."
"Really?" Bai Ning's eyes shimmered with tears. She glanced at her parents behind her, who were giving her murderous looks, and shrank her head again. "But you've been wanting to have a baby soon. I suggested helping you at the new magazine, but you refused."
Ren Han narrowed his eyes. "I do want to have a child, but if you're not ready yet, we can wait for another two years."
"What?" Ren Han's mother was the first to protest. "How can this be? You two are being ungrateful, betraying our trust. I have decided to punish you on behalf of the Ren family, and you will..."
Bai Ning's Mother: "Damn it, I was hoping that Ning Ning would get pregnant so I could bring Ultraman home to play with me. When will I ever be able to reunite with my precious son?"
Bai's Father calculated while twiddling his fingers, "Not having a child means there will be risks in the marriage. Risks in the marriage mean the possibility of divorce. Divorce means the possibility of remarriage. Remarriage means I'll have to give her a small Western-style house as a dowry. The current property prices are..."
On this side of the scene, Bai Ning ignored the other onlookers and snuggled up to Ren the Demon King, trying to please him. "Ren the Demon King, you truly are the best husband in the whole world."
Ren Han patted Bai Ning's head. "Silly, don't take the pills anymore. They're not good for your health. I'll buy condoms instead."
"Demon King Ren, you're the most considerate and gentle husband in the whole world!"
And so, unexpectedly, Bai Ning became pregnant one month later.
Bai Ning, holding the lab report from the hospital, was stunned. "Why did this happen? Didn't we take precautions?"
Demon King Ren feigned innocence and looked up at the sky. "Yeah, it's strange."
Bai Ning hesitated for a moment and felt something was wrong. She rushed into the bedroom, opened the drawer, and the truth became clear!
There were holes in every single condom!!
Bai Ning gritted her teeth. "Ren Han!"
Demon King Ren continued to pretend to be innocent. "These unscrupulous businesses nowadays are just too despicable, and their product quality is too poor!"
"But didn't you say this brand was good?"
"Sanlu also said their product is good, I am an innocent victim!"
"Then can you tell me why every hole is so neatly cut, clearly with scissor marks?"
Faced with the unshakable facts, Demon King Ren confessed completely. "Fine, it was me."
Bai Ning stared at her husband, who showed no signs of remorse, and her mouth twitched. She was about to reprimand him when he interrupted her, saying, "I surrender."
It was those three words that instantly silenced Bai Ning.
It turned out that ever since the truth about the company mole incident came to light, Li Ziru, Xiao Zhi, and others would often tease Bai Ning with the phrase, "Ren Han, why don't you surrender?" Even though Bai Ning knew deep down that she shouldn't believe her husband was at fault initially, but rather because of the guilt of randomly trying passwords to access another person's emails, whenever she heard the words "surrender," she would feel disheveled, go crazy, and stomp her feet.
Nevertheless, the phrase "Have you surrendered today?" became popular in the editorial office of the magazine company.
Among Demon King Ren's QQ friends, their impressions were neatly arranged with messages like, "President Ren, surrender!" "Surrender, I'll be waiting for you outside!" "If you don't surrender soon, I won't wait for you anymore!" "You should surrender, your whole family should surrender!"
Being ridiculed by subordinates at work, Demon King Ren would come home and ridicule his wife in return. Therefore, Bai Ning had always dreaded Demon King Ren's innocent gaze accompanied by the faint words, "I surrender."
And so, with just a torn condom and three words, the issue of Bai Ning not wanting a baby was completely resolved.
Afterwards, Grandma Lucy, having learned the truth, praised her grandson for being resourceful and was inspired to come up with a poetic nickname for her great-grandchild, "Dongchu" (meaning "emerging from a hole" and sounding similar to "torn hole").
Once again, it proved that the Ren family possessed an extraordinary talent for creating idioms, making them invincible.
~The end~