Translated by XephiZ
Edited by Aelryinth
Zhou Ze cupped some water with his hands and splashed it on his face. He slowly raised his head and looked into the mirror. He looked slightly haggard, but it was somewhat a trademark for ER surgeons like him.
"Doctor Zhou, a new patient is on the way. He seems to have fallen off a building, we aren't sure if it was a suicide attempt!" the nurse Wang Ya yelled at the entrance of the men's washroom
"Got it, I'll be there soon," Zhou Ze replied. He drew a paper towel and wiped his face.
The ambulance reached the hospital in no time. The person lying on the stretcher was an old man in a gray tangzhuang. The old man was coughing blood and pieces of his organs out. He was fully covered in blood.
{TL Note: A tangzhuang is a traditional Chinese jacket with a straight collar.}
Zhou Ze rushed over to the stretcher to take a closer look at the patient, while yelling at the people ahead, "Prepare for operation, quick!"
The patient's condition was not looking good.
"I...I...I don't want to die." The old man opened his eyes wide and stared at Zhou Ze who was the closest to him.
"Don't worry, you'll be fine. We are going to help you, you're not going to die."
Most patients in critical conditions would say things like that. After all, not many people could really face death calmly. It was not necessary for the doctor to rationally tell the patient the odds of them making it, since they desperately needed comfort, instead of hearing some facts.
"No...no… it's...it's too terrifying down there..." The old man suddenly grabbed Zhou Ze's wrist and looked at him gravely.
"Please calm down, relax, you will be fine." Despite the pain he was feeling, Zhou Ze did not try to break free from the man's grip.
"I don't want… I don't want to go down there anymore… they...they have found me… they have found me..."
"Gasp..." Zhou Ze suddenly felt a sharp pain from his wrist.
"Doctor Zhou, your hand!" the nurse beside him screamed.
The old man's fingernails were long, and for some reason, they were black, and shiny like amber, not because they were filthy.
The old man's nails were digging into Zhou Ze's flesh on his wrist.
"I'm not going down there...not going...not going down...HAHA!...cough cough..."
The old man's body suddenly straightened as he coughed vigorously. With a shudder, the hand grabbing Zhou Ze's wrist fell to the side as he fell still on the stretcher.
"Prepare the defibrillator!" Zhou Ze yelled.
------
The old man was pushed into the emergency room, where a doctor and the nurses immediately performed the procedure on the old man.
"Doctor Zhou, I'll help you with the wound!" Wang Ya came closer.
As a doctor, they were not worried about a little scratch, but the possibility that the old man might have contracted some other disease, placing the doctors at risk. After all, the old man's hand was covered in blood, and no one knew if he had contracted some contagious disease.
Some diseases could easily ruin a person's life!
---
After the nurse treated Zhou Ze's wound, a doctor came out from the emergency room and shook his head at Zhou Ze.
They had failed to save him.
Everyone was in low spirits. However, the group had gotten used to it. They recovered quickly.
"Doctor Zhou, you should do a check-up," Wang Ya suggested.
"It's fine, I'm in a rush," Zhou Ze shook his head. He went to the locker room to change his clothes and headed to the hospital's carpark to get his car.
---
Zhou Ze's phone rang when he reached the intersection below Jianghai's overhead highway.
"Hello, Zhou Ze speaking."
"Doctor Zhou, the kids are waiting for you."
"I'm sorry, Headmaster Wu, I was late because of a patient, I'm on my way. Tell the kids I'll be there shortly."
"Alright, sure," the other person ended the call.
Zhou Ze took a quick glance at the time. It was half past eight. The kids at the orphanage would usually go to bed pretty early.
The light had turned green. Zhou Ze stepped on the gas and drove forward.
Honk!
A heavy truck had run the red light. Zhou Ze only had time to turn to his side and see the bright headlamps of the truck.
BANG!
The world started spinning.
The little sedan was knocked flying by the truck like a fragile piece of paper. It spun a few circles in the air before slamming heavily to the ground.
------
"Ugh..." Zhou Ze slowly came to his senses.
He realized that he could not move his body, as if he was stuck.
Meanwhile, he was having trouble opening his eyes. He knew he was involved in a traffic accident, a serious one. Naturally, he wanted to inspect his injuries, but he could not move at all.
He heard cars driving past, and screeches of tires around him.
-Am I still at the scene? Am I still in the car?- Zhou Ze wondered.
He soon heard the sirens of police cars and a fire engine. He also heard the familiar sirens of an ambulance.
Zhou Ze felt his body being moved around. The temperature around him was fairly high. They must be cutting the wreckage so they could get him out.
Zhou Ze had partaken in lots of rescue operations. He was familiar with the procedures.
Such a pity, the cake in his trunk, and the celebration of the International Children's Day with the kids at the orphanage were ruined.
"Doctor Zhou!" A familiar voice. It must be Doctor Chen from the hospital.
Zhou Ze let out a relieved sigh in his heart. He was still alive at least, he did not die from the sudden and unexpected disaster.
Zhou Ze could hear a few nurses around him. He could not hear them properly, as it was too noisy.
However, Zhou Ze's heart sank to the bottom of the valley when he heard Doctor Chen's words.
"Doctor Zhou has no signs of life."
-No!
-I'm not dead! -I'm not dead yet! I'm still alive!- Zhou Ze yelled in his heart.
He was not dead, he was still conscious, he was alive!
Zhou Ze felt someone performing CPR on him. He sensed every press on his chest, yet he could neither open his eyes nor speak.
He was not dead.
He was hoping that the people would realize he was still alive!
But after some time, Zhou Ze heard a few of the nurses he knew sobbing.
Doctor Chen slammed his fist onto the door of the car nearby. It was obvious that he was grieving.
-Hey!
-Don't give up! Don't you give up! I'm not dead!
-I'm only having Lazarus Syndrome!
-Did I lose a lot of blood? Were my injuries serious?
-But I'm still alive! -I should be breathing, my heart should be beating too!- Zhou Ze roared silently.
He felt himself being moved onto a stretcher. It was likely that they were placing him in the ambulance.
He felt the ambulance moving. The nurses inside the ambulance were still crying. Their cries were extremely ear-piercing to Zhou Ze.
He was not dead yet. Why were they crying!?
-Why are you crying!?
-Look at me. Look at me again.
-Just check my pulse. I'm not dead!-
The ambulance came to a stop.
---
Zhou Ze heard the voice of the chairman of his hospital.
"Did Xiao Zhou (Zhou Ze) really die just like that?"
"The crash was pretty serious. Doctor Zhou was severely injured, resulting in excessive loss of blood. He died on the scene."
"Are you kidding me? Did he really die, just like that?" the deputy chairman of the hospital was in disbelief.
"Xiao Zhou has passed away," It was the head of his department speaking this time. "I just did a thorough check on him."
-I'm not dead! You useless doctors!
-I'm not dead! You bunch of assholes! Assholes!- Zhou Ze continued to curse in his heart. The people around him were no longer his colleagues, friends, leaders. or seniors.
They all assumed he was dead! But could a dead person still have senses?
-I'm not dead!
-You assholes.
-Son of a b**ch.
-I'm not dead!
-Save me!
-Save me!
The stretcher started moving. It was dead silent, and the temperature gradually dropped. too.
"Xiao Ya (Wang Ya), don't be too sad, the chairman said he will hold a memorial gathering for Doctor Zhou at the hospital tomorrow."
"Sister Su Qin, I just can't believe he would die just like that. Doctor Zhou was such a kind person, it's not fair."
"The future is unpredictable, just like the weather. A person will be caught in either fortune or misfortune, that's just how life is. I hope you can get over it soon."
The two nurses left after the brief conversation.
------
The surroundings… felt empty...
But the sinister coldness… it was so clear...
Zhou Ze kept on struggling. He did not stop struggling, he wanted to wake up, he desperately wanted to make a noise.
But it felt like something similar to sleep paralysis; no matter how hard he tried, he was unable to control his body.
In the end… he gave up in despair.
He was tired and worn out.
He knew where he was.
He was in the hospital… in the mortuary...
------
When Zhou Ze 'woke up' again, he felt a cold breeze on his face, and a little stabbing pain.
"Are you done with the makeup?" someone asked.
"Hang on, give me some time. Look at how badly mangled he was from the crash, I need more time to apply the makeup."
"The hospital is already rushing us, they are about to hold his funeral!"
"You can do it instead!" The mortuary makeup artist seemed a little infuriated. She was using more force as she was applying the makeup. Their clients were already dead. They would not feel any pain, and they would not receive any complaints, either. They only needed to prepare deceased people for their funeral.
Zhou Ze no longer had the energy to struggle. He laid still, feeling the continuous stabbing pain as the makeup pen was pressing down on his face.
In the end… "It's finished. Call them in, we are done here."
Zhou Ze could feel that someone was changing his clothes. He was then pushed out of the room. The workers placed him in a confined space with some cushions.
It… It felt like a coffin...
He could no longer hear any sounds around him. They must have closed the lid…
------
Trembling...
Swaying...
Shaking...
Some time later, Zhou Ze could finally hear some sounds. The lid was opened again.
He heard… funeral music.
The chairman of the hospital was giving a speech. He was complimenting him, and expressing how great a pity it was to lose him.
The vice chairman and the head of department took turns giving speeches, too.
He kept hearing footsteps around him. Some walked past him silently to take one final glance at him. Others yelled at him while sobbing.
They were taking one last glance at the face of the deceased!
-One last glance… at my face!
-I'm not dead. I'm really not dead. I'm not dead yet!
-Not dead!- Zhou Ze cried piteously deep inside his heart.
He tried struggling again, but it was still useless.
He could hear and feel, but he couldn't speak. He couldn't open his eyes.
Everyone thought he was dead.
But he clearly knew… he was not dead!
The kids from the orphanage came too, and were crying about him.
They were genuinely crying, as Zhou Ze was once a kid in the orphanage. As such, when he started working, he donated most of his income to the orphanage. The crash happened while he was on his way to the orphanage to celebrate International Children's Day with the kids.
"Xiao Zhou (Zhou Ze), rest in peace. They said that you were involved in the accident because you stayed for an operation. You don't have any close family, so the hospital will give the compensation to the orphanage, don't you worry," the vice-chairman promised.
---
The sounds started fading away. The lid on the coffin was sealed.
The coffin started shaking.
It eventually came to a stop.
The lid of the coffin opened once again.
It was very quiet, he could vaguely hear people talking softly.
There were two people, one grabbed his shoulders while the other lifted his legs as they placed him on a cold shelf. It seemed to be made of steel.
The two were very adept at moving his body. He could still hear some faint cries around him.
Zhou Ze did not recognize where he was at first. But he soon realized...
-Assholes!-
They had moved him to the crematorium! They were going to burn him!
-I'm not dead, you motherf*****s! F**k your ancestors!
-I'm not dead! I'm not dead!
-Don't cremate me. Don't cremate me!
-I'm really not dead! You assholes.
-Son of a b**ch! F**k!
Zhou Ze had totally gone mad this time.
He knew there was no coming back after he was cremated.
He would have to face death! It would be the end for him!
He could not accept it. He could not accept it at all. He was still in his twenties, he had yet to marry and have kids. He still had a long life ahead!
"Mummy, I saw the uncle's finger moved a little," a little girl said timidly.
PA! The girl was slapped on the face.
"Nonsense, I'll teach you how to behave yourself when we go home," the girl's mother scolded.
Zhou Ze felt hopeless.
It did not matter how hard he struggled, or how loud he was screaming inside his heart.
The people could not hear him.
He was placed on the conveyor belt.
The machine started. He slowly moved forward.
He knew what he was about to face. As such, he was overwhelmed with fear!
-No.
-No.
-No!
-I'm not dead, I'm really not dead!
-Don't cremate me! Don't cremate me!
No one could hear his cries.
They were focusing on their sorrow, preoccupied by their sorrow.
They were waiting for the procedures to be finished.
They would then go back home and eat dinner, and continue living the next day.
In the end… Zhou Ze felt himself moving into a narrow space filled with the smell of oil and grease.
And then, something sticky was sprayed on him.
He knew what it was. It was gasoline.
And then...
-Hot!
-Very hot!
-Painful!-
The pain from being burned by the extreme heat!
-Fire.
-Fire.
-Huge Fire.
-Fire everywhere...