|Regret.|
Duke believed her. She definately looked like she could do it.What with her maniacal eyes and the deadly tone of her voice.He was only grateful that he had not been serious otherwise there was no telling what she could do to him especially if he went ahead and made his threats real. It was quite unfortunate though, that each had a way of hurting the other. She with her innocent upsetting comments and he with his propensity to hit back wherever it hurt her the most.
"Why does it bother me so much that Thomas is not my son?" Duke thought aloud to himself.
"It's called jealousy!" his mother's voice resonated from the doorway and he turned to look at her in suprise.
"Mother, how long have you been there ?" he began moving towards her.
"Long enough to finally know what has been bugging you." His mother replied, pointing an accusing finger at him. "By the way, how many times will I keep telling you? I don't need you to push me around. It's automatic you know!" she added when he placed his hands at the back of her wheelchair and began to push her into his room.
"I love you too mum." Duke responded with a grin. "Plus, it's the least thing I can do when you decide to spy on me." He bent down and placed a peck her on her forehead. After parking her wheelchair in front of the fireplace, Duke adjusted his mother's blanket over her legs and pulled out his chair to seat himself beside her.
"Urg! Now you want me to go around, loudly announcing my presence in my own house?"
"No, mum." He shook his head.
"Anyway, you left the door open and there was no sign to say that I could not enter." Her son laughed heartily patting his mother's arm gently, before stopping to look at her with an adoring look on her face.
Duke's mum, Domina Leah Carlisle, was by far the greatest woman in his life and she had osteoporosis. One would think that by being the wife of a Phaedra she would have guaranteed access to the finest doctors and whatever cures that were out there, but that had not been the case. As it was, Duke's late father had not only been mean and ruthless to his people, but to his own family as well. When he was alive he had been so drunk with power, that it was all the only thing that had mattered to him. He had ignored his wife and neglected her condition to such point that she had to be committed to a wheelchair.
"So mum, what brings you to my chambers today?"
"Your behaviour in the past few days. To be precise, ever since you went to see her on Saturday." his mother said and Duke cried in protest.
"Mother," he groaned, "I don't want to talk about it."
"I know you my son. Why don't you just tell her how you feel and save us all the misery?"
"It's not that simple." he added scratching his head.
"I know that look..." She drawled out, eyeing him suspiciously. "Gabriel Alexander Duke the third! What did you do now?"
"Mum..."
"Out with it, Duke! And I am not joking." She snapped, raising her voice and glowering at him.
In that moment, Duke felt very small even though his six foot frame would always towers over her five foot four height even without her wheelchair, naturally.
"Fine! I threatened her! Happy?"
"You did what? Why would you even do that?" she exclaimed, eyeing him with a look so incredulous that he felt as if he had gone and grown himself an extra head or something.
"I got upset and told her that I had the power to take away her son." He explained, hanging his head in shame.
"Oh Duke. How many times will I tell you this? You are not your father. He may have taught you the ropes of this business, but that's how far it goes. You are better than that. I taught you better than Duke!"
"I know mum and I am truly sorry." Duke replied sorrowfully.
"It is not me that you have offended. You will be lucky if that poor girl, forgives you and does not hate you for this after that."
She held his gaze for a moment, giving him a look so full of pity that he finally understood the magnitude of his actions.
Instead of fixing things, he had gone and ruined whatever chance he may have had with her and as usual, Duke blamed his agitation for his rash actions which all stemmed from the fact he, Duke Carisle, harboured a secret desire to be Thomas' father.
He also felt angry and frustrated. All because the woman had kept rejecting him over and over again, stating that she would not marry him without love, when he was the one that was present and willing unlike her former college boyfriend.
"Don't worry. I will help you fix this, but please do try to control your emotions next time." His mother told him, placing her soft hand over his arm and squeezing it in a comforting gesture.
"Thank you mum." Duke mumbled even as he dropped his head to place a kiss over the top of her hand. She brushed her lips over his forehead and patted his back before quietly turning to wheel herself out of the room.
Duke raked his fingers through his hair and sighed before finally coming to the decision that he needed to think of happier times and better memories that would slowly ease away his tension and calm him down and for Duke, there were no better memories than those from his childhood. Days when he had still been innocent and oblivious to the mechanations of this cruel world. He recalled with fondness how close Malisha and he had been. Especially after they chose to leave their fighting days behind them and concentrate on their slow blossoming friendship.
Things had been great between then. Almost magical even. So much that when he l turned fifteen and his father announced that it was the high time for him to stop playing and became a man, it left Duke feeling quite devastated. For it meant that he had to move away from home, from his friends and most of all from Malisha and all their influences and start a new life, away from home learning the ropes of how to the run a country or continent for that was how far their reach went.
From then on, the Phaedra kept Duke so busy that he barely saw anyone. He missed his home and his friends very much. Especially her, Malisha his best friend.
Duke had gone on to struggle with the pain of seperation and for a very long it hurt him, until he finally realised that what he had thought he had for her, his attachment to her was more than the simple liking that normally exists between friends.
He tried to get in touch with her, to confess, but it was totally hopeless. His father continued to keep close tabs on his every area of his life and whenever he rebelled the old man retaliated by making sure that he was kept too busy fostering deals, or travelling on diplomatic duty abroad. Before he knew it, six years were gone like that and his Malisha was nineteen, breathtakingly beautiful and going away to college.
For some reason, the girl had decided to join a tertiary institution abroad and since he had been away, Duke did not get to say goodbye. A thing that continued to drive the wedge that was between them deeper and the rift even wider apart.
At around the same time, his father's health also started deteriorating and whatever plans he had of visiting her abroad also vanished in thin air. For the old man who had married Domina Carisle late in his forties, and had Duke and his sister, later in his fifties was no longer as strong as he used to be. He had always said that it was his grand plan. A grand plan that left Duke with more responsibilities than he could handle at his young age.
However, Duke never really lost track of her. With his newly acquired position and unlimited resources, he continued keep track of Malisha's life and even though he knew it appeared like a creepy thing to do, he reasoned that it made him feel closer to her and was possibly for the best in order to keep her safe.
As expected of a lovesick soul, Duke continued to miss her terribly and the constant updates on her life from his spies stationed in Urberium did not do anything to alleviate his misery. Many are the times that he had wanted to contact her, to reach out to her and he even tried on multiple ocassions, but his selfish ego and foolish pride always gotten in the way and prevented him from reaching out or opening a line of communication with her.
Despite all these barriers, his little crush had remained and even more, it blossomed into something much bigger, much greater than him that it caused him to feel completely crashed and devastated when he learnt of her newest affair. His Malisha had finally met someone and was happy.
Duke did not know how to feel and it ate away at his soul, chewing it out as he continued to wallow in his regret and bitterness. He soothed his damaged ego by telling himself that it was just a fling, but he knew better. Malisha was happy and not only was she happy, but pregnant as well or at least that is what he had believed then. How mistaken he had been especially about the former. Her pregnancy had been real all right, but her relationship was so complicated and the situation around her so muddled up that after some time he could no longer keep up.
At around the same time, his father passed on and left him as a Phaedra at the young age of twenty four. His status in Society changed overnight as so did hers. She became a mum with no husband to show, disgraced and shunned by the same Society that noe adored and celebrated Duke. She endured ridicule and gossip from every quarter and Duke's behavior towards her had not helped her situation at all.
His jealousy fuelled his rage and in his inability to cope, Duke found it easier to take it out on the woman that he loved. That way she never forgot him and that way he could continue to remain around her, to feel her presence without having to deal with the real reason that was behind his actions.
Duke felt frustrated too, mostly because his feelings for her and admiration continued to grow by the day. She was so strong and he, nothing but a coward. He had been too scared to confront his own emotions and own up to his messes and because of that he knew that Malisha hated him. She hated his guts and blamed him for the friendship that once was but was now lost.
"Why do you have to be so difficult?" Duke mumbled as he raked his fingers through his hair once again.
"Pardon me Sir?" He turned around to find his valet staring back at him with a questioning look on his face.
"Oh, it's nothing Alfred. I was just thinking aloud."
Duke felt his valet's eyes upon him and he knew that he was now giving him one of his concerned looks.
"If I may speak freely,sir?"
"Go on Alfred." Duke replied, looking up as he turned around to face him.
He had known Alfred all his life, what now felt like forever, for the valet had been in his family's employ since he was just a little boy and when his father passed away and he had to pick out his own staff, Duke felt that he could not let him off, so he retained him as his valet.
Alfred was not just loyal, but also discreet. He was efficient and usually kept a low profile except for those few times when he felt the need to speak up and then he offered profound insights on various important matters that were usually at hand.
"The young lady you are trying to court, she distresses you ."
"How very perceptive of you Alfred." Duke muttered sarcastically and immediately felt guilty although Alfred did not seem to mind.
"Perhaps you are going about it the wrong way." Alfred added in of spite Duke's wayward comment.
"How so?" Duke perked up as his interest stirred.
"I have had the pleasure of accompanying you on the many instances your paths have crossed."
"And...? Get to the point Alfred!" he cut in impatiently but the older man omly smiled.
"What I mean to say is that, women need to be wooed. Even a donkey head like her ex-boyfriend who knows the right words to say can get any woman to marry him."
His eyes widen in surprise.
"Are you insulting me Alfred?"
"No sir. I'm just saying." the valet replied, a small grin now tagging at the corners of his lips.
"You don't know her like I do. I have tried and tried, but it doesn't work."
"Persistence sir and patience. If you give her time and are sincere with her, I believe you may end up swaying her."
"You think so?"
"I know so." Alfred replied before resuming his work in silence. Finally, he picked up a dozen suits and walked out of the room before closing the door behind him.
"Who knew, old Alfred a sappy romantic?" Duke laughed at himself.