I started jittering, I looked down at my hand, it was shaking and this wasn't just caffeine. I stuck my hands in my armpits and squeezed hard but insted of stopping my entire body started to shudder. I was like a human blender blending pebbles. Finally it stopped. I released my hands from the wet chasm that was my armpit and placed it on the bench before hearing a splintering crack. I looked down to see that part of the bench now seemed to be non existent. I lifted my hand to find it had virtually disintegrated.
"tis a pretty shit bench if ye ask me i mumbled"
Today had been pretty bad, i got hit with a bowling pin, i died, my house was destroyed and the only food i could eat was the worlds worst lettuce sandwich which seemed to be drugged as well. Finally i got up to see where i was. It seemed to be a park so I walked down a path until i found an exit. It seemed to say blythe hill fields on the sign. I opened the gate and it snapped off its hinges.
"who in Astley's name built this place! " I yelled and kicked a pebble. The next part almost happened in slow motion, the instant the pebble left my foot, i watched it soar forwards in horror as it spun towards a window of a nearby house. I covered my eyes as the sound of glass shattering cut the air.
I finally looked over my fingers to see that not only had the window shattered but also the house. Bricks and dust lay inside some low remains of the walls. Had i not taken a piss in the holy portaloo i would've pissed myself out of shock right then and there. As i gawped at the remains of the house, people from the houses nearby all rushed over to stare at the remains. When i'd finally collected my thoughts, I realised I was in deep shit, really deep shit, like if a crash of rhinos had thought it'd be a good idea to take a dump in a well. That level of deep.
*A herd of rhinoceros' is called a herd or a crash*
So to put it blandly i was in alot of trouble. Or so i thought. I began to run as fast as possible but a weird sensation came over me like i was almost floating. With every step i took, my body shot ten or twenty metres into the air, propelling me forward like a pebble that was kicked really hard. And i continued until i reached a pair of large blue metal frames. From my eXtEnSiVe victorian knowledge, i could tell these were gas holders, used in that time period for non other than holding gas,
"Wow" i thought "what useful knowledge, its so great that i know when and why these were built. This knowledge will definetly help me escape, Im so glad I studied history and not physics or literally any other subject."
I looked up from the blue frame to see i was about to hit a large orange sign
" what sainsb?" Boom. I'd hit the sign and gone through the ceiling of the warehouse shaped building. I was hazy and felt funny. Then I threw up, the shape of undigested lettuce entered my vision.
Then i passed out.