"Tian, are you okay?"
The young star downed his drink and slammed the cup onto the table, startling the escort for the day. She took the empty cup and scurried off, leaving the manager and singer alone. "I'm fine."
With how he'd been acting today thus far, he was obviously ๐ฃ๐ค๐ฉ fine. Meilin pursed her lips, refraining from criticizing him on his well-being. Ever since work started today, Li Tian had been in a horrible mood. Strangely enough, he was extremely motivated in his work, doing better than usual, but even the staff handling him could feel a moody aura the singer emitted. This wasn't good for his public image at all.
"While you ๐ข๐ณ๐ฆ doing work better than usual today, you are obviously NOT fine. You've drunk five cups of cocoa already," she eyed the stain forming at the side of his lips. "Did you buy a bad meal for dinner last night?"
๐๐ข๐ด๐ต ๐ฏ๐ช๐จ๐ฉ๐ต...
The young man grit his teeth thinking of the consecutive unexpected scenes he saw last night. Everything made him so conflicted he hardly slept comfortably at all from thinking about it.
At first, seeing a middle-aged man daring to nearly hit his younger brother almost fueled his anger to the brim that he nearly barged out into the open to stop him. It took nearly everything he had just to maintain the promise to keep hidden.
Although the hit didn't connect with Rai's body this time, the boy's occasional shift of pain during dinner together was clear to him that he had been hit before, and not lightly either. Li Tian's family was fucked up, but not abusing children fucked up.
However, when he saw the Southern young man appear from behind the door so leisurely afterward, he felt his nerve struck and that was it. Nothing else mattered.
Even the abuse almost about to occur towards his little brother somehow vanished from his thoughts. After all, it only ALMOST occurred. Li Tian had a one-track mind and his head was suddenly crowded with intense thoughts that everything else was washed away.
Plans were made that night to relax after a day of work; workouts, games, and call home. None of them happened.
All due to seeing the man whom he swore to take revenge against.
Yet his brain was overwhelming him with thoughts conflicting his rationale on the matter, putting his mental capacity on overdrive. On one hand, his desire for revenge was clouding both his mind and judgment, on the other end, his integrity regarding Rai's care was clasping at straws.
He hadn't known the kid as long as he had the man who had battered and humiliated him. As cruel as it may have sounded, after seeing the man who did him dirty, the man who tarnished Grandmama's family name, he felt no space in his heart to care for anything else.
Being with the young Rai was a short relief and kept his mind off things, but he was suddenly reminded of the reason he was so keen on coming North. Was it not to enact his justice upon the person who wronged him? The person who pushed aside the woman he cared about?
Li Tian's knuckles turned white from the force in his grip.
"Tian!"
His head snapped up at his manager.
"You didn't answer my question."
Out of touch with current reality, his lips opened and closed from his disorientation. "What was the question again?"
Meilin sighed at this problematic cousin of hers. He had always been the moody fellow, making it not unusual for sudden periods of gloominess, but they were trying to break the North here. This wasn't the South where he could just do whatever he wanted and get away with it.
She had yet to have a handle on the PR management in the North, thus anything consequential he did, wouldn't pass through her eyes first. That was a disaster just waiting to happen. With his recent turbulent emotions, it was probably a good idea to head to the Li North Headquarters and dip her claws in soon.
"Your body is definitely not working in cohesion with your mind," she lamented and internally made her decision. Spoiling him wasn't the best choice for an already spoilt brat, but she also needed to get things done for the unforeseeable future and deemed it necessary. "I have some sudden business to take care of so take the rest of the day, and tomorrow off."
Li Tian raised an eyebrow at her questioningly. It was a welcome event but still unusual for him to be let off the hook like that.
"Just make sure you get yourself together and DON'T get into trouble," his manager warned him.
"Yeah," the young star clenched his palms again and again. ๐'๐ญ๐ญ ๐ต๐ณ๐บ...
.....
๐ ๐ธ๐ฐ๐ฏ๐ฅ๐ฆ๐ณ ๐ธ๐ฉ๐ข๐ต ๐ธ๐ข๐ด ๐ธ๐ณ๐ฐ๐ฏ๐จ ๐ธ๐ช๐ต๐ฉ ๐๐ช๐จ ๐๐ณ๐ฐ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ๐ณ ๐๐ข๐ฏ๐จ ๐ญ๐ข๐ด๐ต ๐ฏ๐ช๐จ๐ฉ๐ต...
The small boy sighed while laying flat on his bed, staring straight at his ceiling. He had spent most of the day working on the physical exercises he was taught yesterday.
Thinking back to the scene from last night; calling out to Big Brother Lang without getting a response, and the intense expression the big brother had on at the time had scared Rai from reaching out to him any further. There was a tension in the air he could feel that he, as a ten-year-old boy, wasn't experienced enough to fathom yet.
Not soon after, Big Brother Lang left him without a word, which shouldn't have been strange, but it somehow felt... different.
Rai touched his head unconsciously, ruffling his cleanly combed hair into a fluffy mess. The bangs that usually hid his eyes were pushed back, revealing the cloudy grayish-blue eyes hiding behind them. He could see ahead of him clearly now.
"Ah..." he gasped lightly at the sudden revelation. Biting his lower lip frustratedly, he turned to the side and curled up into a ball. "That's right... Big Brother Lang didn't rub my head when he left..."
Even though the big brother was a quiet person, from the beginning he had always shown his affection towards the boy through his expressions or skin contact, especially on Rai's head.
Although it took him a while to realize it, the unexpected lack of affection in the form of head rubs caused the boy to feel an acute sense of insecurity.
"Did I do something wrong...?" he thought back on what happened. "Or was it..."
He remembered the strange man that came out from the guest lounge with his father. He had somehow been saved from a bout of physical abuse by this person, but what stuck to him the most was still the words that were whispered into his ear.
๐ ๐ค๐ข๐ฏ ๐ฉ๐ฆ๐ญ๐ฑ ๐ฎ๐ข๐ฌ๐ฆ ๐บ๐ฐ๐ถ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐ฏ๐ฆ๐น๐ต ๐๐ญ๐ข๐ฏ ๐๐ฆ๐ข๐ฅ ๐ช๐ง ๐บ๐ฐ๐ถ ๐ธ๐ข๐ฏ๐ต...
๐๐ญ๐ข๐ฏ ๐๐ฆ๐ข๐ฅ...
The boy furrowed his eyebrows. The words 'Clan Head' had a bitter meaning to him. It was the title of the person that could do whatever he wanted and get away with it; just like his father, a man who commanded respect.
Did he love his father?
He shook his head at the question. Love wasn't something he was old enough to fully understand. As the person who made him, wasn't it a given to love him? He couldn't comprehend there being a choice in the matter, so of course, he loved him.
His father nor his siblings wanted him to be Clan Head, thus as a filial son and brother, why fight for it? He wasn't exactly inclined to the title either, making it a win-win.
๐๐ฒ๐ฒ๐ฝ ๐๐ฒ๐ฒ๐ฝ.
His cellphone vibrated.
๐๐ฎ๐ฎ?
Who could have messaged him? He never really received text messages before.
He checked it curiously and his eyes opened wide in delight, instantly replying said message.
๐๐ถ๐ด ๐๐ฟ๐ผ๐๐ต๐ฒ๐ฟ ๐๐ฎ๐ป๐ด: I'm coming over.
๐ฅ๐ฎ๐ถ: Really!? That's great! What time will you come? :D
๐๐ถ๐ด ๐๐ฟ๐ผ๐๐ต๐ฒ๐ฟ ๐๐ฎ๐ป๐ด: Five minutes.
๐-๐ง๐ช๐ท๐ฆ ๐ฎ๐ช๐ฏ๐ถ๐ต๐ฆ๐ด!? Rai quickly checked his watch. Dinner time was over so they shouldn't have to worry about any obstacles hopefully.
๐ฅ๐ฎ๐ถ: Come through the back okay!
๐๐ถ๐ด ๐๐ฟ๐ผ๐๐ต๐ฒ๐ฟ ๐๐ฎ๐ป๐ด: Ok.
Flustered by his first time texting with a friend, Rai put the phone down with elation. He concluded to himself that instead of thinking too much, he should focus more on the time he was able to spend with his teacher while he still could.
Whatever his worries were before, he quickly forgot about them and made his way towards the kitchen, where the backdoor was. He was having someone over again!
.....
"B-big Brother Lang, am I doing it right?" he let out a deep breath, holding in his tightened tummy and keeping his crossed arms and legs in place. Somehow he felt uncomfortable and was unsure of his posture.
"Mmm..." the older brother answered him distractedly. Although his eyes were on the training boy, his mind was elsewhere, and his expression made it quite obvious.
"Okay..."
๐๐ฆ'๐ด ๐ฅ๐ช๐ด๐ต๐ณ๐ข๐ค๐ต๐ฆ๐ฅ ๐ด๐ต๐ช๐ญ๐ญ.
Rai had noticed it the moment Big Brother Lang had shown up. At his arrival, the big brother's smile didn't reach his eyes, and as they walked back to Rai's room, his eyes darted around the place, as if trying to be vigilant of something.
His attitude was completely different from the first time he had come over, where he seemed wholly indifferent to his surroundings. Not even being in a big mansion phased him. Now somehow everything was grabbing his attention, yet Rai's words had become a fleeting sound traveling past him.
Even when he didn't respond before, Rai could feel the big brother listening to him, albeit silently. But now, he had a lingering sense of being neglected. Big Brother Lang answered him when spoken to, but it felt misplaced.
๐๐ฉ๐ฆ๐ณ๐ฆ ๐ฎ๐ถ๐ด๐ต ๐ฃ๐ฆ ๐ด๐ฐ๐ฎ๐ฆ๐ต๐ฉ๐ช๐ฏ๐จ ๐ต๐ณ๐ฐ๐ถ๐ฃ๐ญ๐ช๐ฏ๐จ ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฎ... ๐๐ด๐ฏ'๐ต ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ๐ณ๐ฆ ๐ข๐ฏ๐บ๐ต๐ฉ๐ช๐ฏ๐จ ๐ ๐ค๐ฐ๐ถ๐ญ๐ฅ ๐ฅ๐ฐ ๐ต๐ฐ ๐ฉ๐ฆ๐ญ๐ฑ?
The words he heard last night suddenly rang again in his mind like a chant.
๐ ๐ค๐ข๐ฏ ๐ฉ๐ฆ๐ญ๐ฑ ๐ฎ๐ข๐ฌ๐ฆ ๐บ๐ฐ๐ถ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐ฏ๐ฆ๐น๐ต ๐๐ญ๐ข๐ฏ ๐๐ฆ๐ข๐ฅ ๐ช๐ง ๐บ๐ฐ๐ถ ๐ธ๐ข๐ฏ๐ต...
๐๐ข๐ฌ๐ฆ ๐บ๐ฐ๐ถ ๐๐ญ๐ข๐ฏ ๐๐ฆ๐ข๐ฅ...
๐๐ญ๐ข๐ฏ ๐๐ฆ๐ข๐ฅ...
As his mind wandered, Rai's heart skipped a beat at a thought that appeared in his head.
๐๐ง ๐ ๐ฃ๐ฆ๐ค๐ฐ๐ฎ๐ฆ ๐๐ญ๐ข๐ฏ ๐๐ฆ๐ข๐ฅ, ๐ธ๐ฐ๐ถ๐ญ๐ฅ ๐ ๐ฃ๐ฆ ๐ข๐ฃ๐ญ๐ฆ ๐ต๐ฐ ๐ฉ๐ฆ๐ญ๐ฑ ๐๐ช๐จ ๐๐ณ๐ฐ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ๐ณ ๐๐ข๐ฏ๐จ?
Something like last night would never have to happen again, and he could get Big Brother Lang out of every situation.
He would be able to be useful finally.
He wondered what situation exactly his was teacher in. A genius both in mind and body, supposedly poor and yet somehow in the North for five whole months...
๐๐ข๐ด ๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐ด๐ฐ๐ฎ๐ฆ๐ฉ๐ฐ๐ธ ๐ด๐ต๐ถ๐ค๐ฌ ๐ช๐ฏ ๐ด๐ฐ๐ฎ๐ฆ ๐ฎ๐ข๐ง๐ช๐ข ๐ด๐บ๐ฏ๐ฅ๐ช๐ค๐ข๐ต๐ฆ??
His still immature mind made outrageous conclusions on his beloved teacher's situation.
๐๐ฉ๐ฐ๐ถ๐ญ๐ฅ ๐ ๐ข๐ด๐ฌ? With Big Brother Lang's personality, it didn't feel like he had a choice if he wanted an answer, thus he calmed his nerves subtly for his subsequent actions.
"Big Brother Lang, are you troubled by something...?" Rai asked carefully.
The older brother's glazed eyes refocused and stared at the sweaty figure looking at him with earnesty. His thoughts were expertly hidden making the boy more nervous than before.
After a pause that seemed like forever, the older figure pursed his lips and let out in a soft voice, "Nothing for you to worry about."
๐๐ฉ...
The words were simple and most likely inevitable, but it made Rai's chest hurt.
What was this?
๐๐ข๐ช๐ฏ๐ง๐ถ๐ญ... He felt an indescribable amount of pain, anguish, incompetence... and heartache...
He wasn't worthy of worrying about his admired Big Brother Lang's circumstances.
Yes... How could he be?
Who was he, but a mere boy Big Brother Lang took in as a student on a whim after he had repeatedly begged him before being accepted.
Rai was nothing. He had a family while not being apart of it, a home without really living in it, and a father that didn't see him as his child. A single taste of affection felt from a mere stranger like Big Brother Lang caused him to latch onto it like a leech, using the conception of learning from him as a mere excuse to continuously immerse himself in the affection he longed for.
To the big brother, he must think that this unknown Zhou descendant was just a stranger with no worth, the obligation to teach him only being because he was begged to. Even as the son of Zhou Liuxian, he actually had no backing to speak of.
Rai felt it like a wave crashing into a dam made of cotton. Useless. He felt useless.
Tears threatened to well up but he held back forcefully, ironically the hair untouched by the big brother could be used to hide his eyes perfectly. His lower lip was bitten so hard it became red and swollen, with just a little more pressure needed for it to burst.
Again, the words he couldn't seem to forget rang in his head like a constantly beating drum.
๐ ๐ค๐ข๐ฏ ๐ฉ๐ฆ๐ญ๐ฑ ๐ฎ๐ข๐ฌ๐ฆ ๐บ๐ฐ๐ถ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐ฏ๐ฆ๐น๐ต ๐๐ญ๐ข๐ฏ ๐๐ฆ๐ข๐ฅ ๐ช๐ง ๐บ๐ฐ๐ถ ๐ธ๐ข๐ฏ๐ต...
๐๐ข๐ฌ๐ฆ ๐ฎ๐ฆ ๐๐ญ๐ข๐ฏ ๐๐ฆ๐ข๐ฅ...
๐๐ญ๐ข๐ฏ ๐๐ฆ๐ข๐ฅ...
๐ ๐ธ๐ข๐ฏ๐ต ๐ต๐ฐ ๐ฃ๐ฆ ๐๐ญ๐ข๐ฏ ๐๐ฆ๐ข๐ฅ...
.....