Chereads / Undercover Superstar: The Birth of Xiaolang / Chapter 9 - Chapter 9 Always Longed For

Chapter 9 - Chapter 9 Always Longed For

A young man in baggy jeans and an oversized plaid shirt stood by the window of a hospital room. His gaze, distant and unfocused, traced the slow-moving traffic below as cars honked, caught in the inevitable rush hour congestion. The scene had become a familiar rhythm to him—cars crawling, people hurrying, the chaos of life moving on. In contrast, up in the room nothing moved. Everything felt suspended, like time itself had paused, yet it slipped through his fingers all the same. Too fast, too relentless. If only time could just stop.

Knock. Knock.

The door creaked open, and a nurse entered, balancing a tray of food. She moved with practiced ease, quietly setting the tray on the small table beside the bed, careful not to disturb the slumbering patient. The young man, seemingly engrossed in the view outside, didn't say a word, only glancing through his thick glasses at the tray once she had left. 

His eyes lingered on the unappetizing meal: bland hospital food, the kind he used to scoff at. Once upon a time, such a meal would have been tossed aside in disgust. But not now. Not after Grandmama. Her simple wisdom had changed something within him, even in the brief time they'd spent together.

For the past week, Li Tian—now Xiaolang—had lived mostly in silence. Undercover, in disguise, he found solace in being quiet. Speaking had become dangerous, not only for the task given to him by his mother, but for the undeniable betrayal his voice seemed to pose on his identity. Meilin, his cousin, took care of most matters with the hospital. He, in turn, paid the bills using the last of his remaining funds. It wasn't what he had envisioned before the start of his journey to the North as it would leave him with barely any extra cash during his mission there, but he had no regrets.

He looked down at the food again. It was unappealing, sure, but it was sustenance. It was something. 

In the corridor, the nurses gathered by their station, discussing the day's cases. Vicky, one of the nurses, sat flipping through the file of the boy in the room.

"Is that teenager still there, Vicks?" Lian, a nurse munching on a sandwich, asked curiously.

"Yeah," Vicky replied with a sympathetic sigh. "Barely speaks a word. Though I can't blame him."

Lian glanced at the file. Her chewing slowed as she read the words in bold at the top. "Five more days…" she murmured, her voice darkening with frustration. She set her sandwich down, her appetite gone. "𝘕𝘰𝘸 he shows up. Two years his grandmother's been in and out of this place—suffering alone. And now that she's dying—"

"Lian!" Vicky cut her off sharply, her voice lowered. "This is a family matter. We're in no position to judge. Let the boy grieve."

"Fine," Lian huffed, shoving the remainder of her sandwich into her mouth. "But it's strange, isn't it? I thought Mrs. Kong only had one grandson. This one looks so different. The boy we saw two years ago was spoiled rotten, always complaining. This one… this never says anything, like he's actually grieving."

Vicky leaned back in her chair, pondering. "I think they're different boys. The one from before had a kind of… arrogance. He threw fits, demanded everything. But this boy, appearance aside—he's quiet. He stays by her side every day, never leaving. He pays for everything. It's almost like he's trying to make up for something."

"Maybe he'd just found out," Lian muttered, her voice filled with regret. "If he'd known sooner, maybe she wouldn't have given up on her treatment."

"Yeah," Vicky said softly. "It's too late now."

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Back in the room, Li Tian—Xiaolang—sat by the bed, his eyes scanning the frail figure of his Grandmama. She looked so much weaker than the first time they'd met. It had only been a week, but she had lost so much strength, her once vibrant face now pale and gaunt. His eyes betrayed the sadness he felt, watching her grow weaker with each passing day.

"Little Lang?" her voice called softly from the bed.

He rushed to her side, kneeling beside her. "Grandmama, I'm here." 

Her eyes fluttered open, and she smiled, the warmth of her gaze softening the lines of her weary face. "You don't have to stay here every day, dear. There must be somewhere else you need to be."

"There's nowhere else," he said firmly, gripping her hand. "This is where I need to be." 

In truth, his assignment had been to run trial errands and get used to life undercover until his move up North. Being here allowed him to kill two birds with one stone, though he hated to think of that as his main objective. How could it be, when he had met such a wonderful old woman, only to find out she was dying?

He had learned the hard way to hold his tongue, especially after his voice had inadvertently caused her injury. The guilt of that still weighed heavily on him, but it was also the reason he had learned about her illness.

She didn't change her expression, but her smiling lips trembled, and her eyes began to well up with tears as she listened to him speak. Tears ran down her face with no resistance, spilling freely as if she had held them back for far too long. The clash was a huge paradox against her smiling face.

Those words… they were something she had longed to hear for so long.

So many lonely nights...

The sudden vulnerability in her expression hit him like a tsunami of emotions, crashing through his defenses and shattering his entire sense of logic. He grabbed her frail hands, holding them tightly, as if trying to anchor her to this world. "I'll stay with you," he said, his voice cracking. "I'll stay with you until… until the end." The words tasted bitter, almost too painful to speak. She was still here, lying in front of him—how could he say goodbye already?

The old woman's heart swelled at his words, tears slipping down her cheeks. "Xiaolang," she whispered, calling him by the name he had given her, though they both knew it wasn't his real one.

"Yes," he replied softly, standing straighter, determined to be the person she needed him to be.

"Thank you."

"You don't need to thank me," he protested. "You've done so much for me."

She chuckled weakly. This young was too amusing. "If feeding you bao is considered doing something, I wish I had more time to do so much more."

Her lighthearted words only deepened the ache in his chest. If only she did have more time...

""Xiaolang, dear, let me tell you a little about myself, my son, and my grandson—my only family," she began, her voice growing distant as she delved into memories, carrying the weight of years gone by.

Li Tian looked at her curiously, unable to deny his growing interest. She had mentioned them before, just a brief mention, but it was enough for him to catch a glimpse of the heartache she carried. Now, it seemed, there was more to the story.

"Your grandmama here has a very successful son," she said, the words sounding more like a fact than a point of pride. There was a strange hollowness to it, a lack of the pride most mothers would show when speaking of their child's achievements.

She continued, her eyes drifting back into memories. "I've been selling my bao for as long as I can remember... but my son never liked my work. It wasn't profitable enough for him, nor was it presentable. To him it felt dirty and shameful. He's always been ambitious, always chasing something bigger." She sighed, the lines on her face deepening. "He wouldn't settle for anything less than the best—whether it was the top university, the latest gadgets, or the finest food. As a single mother, I did everything I could to give him the best."

Her voice wavered just slightly, but her face remained stoic, though Li Tian could see the pain she tried to mask from her experience. What mother wouldn't go to any lengths to give their child the best? Even when the son treated her like garbage.

"He studied hard, and he climbed the ranks of one of the South's biggest companies. But that was just the beginning. He had his sights set higher—on the wealthiest families in South Huaxia. He took note of every single wealthy family, and carefully planned his way to be among them. He was determined to do it, no matter the cost."

She turned to face him then, her eyes searching his. "And there was one family in particular, one he was determined to align himself with. He clawed his way toward them, doing whatever it took to attach himself to their success." She paused, her gaze steady. "It was, and still is, the renowned Li Clan—the Li Family."

Li Tian's heart skipped a beat. Hearing his family name from her lips was jarring and unexpected. His grip on her hand tightened reflexively.

Grandmama smiled lightly but chose not to comment on his reaction. "It wasn't easy to get close to a clan as renowned as the Li Family, so he set his sights on a subordinate clan instead: the Luo Clan. Soon enough, he got his big break. He managed to woo a young maiden from the Luo Clan and married into her family rather than the other way around. I never quite understood how it happened, but once the marriage was settled, he ceased to be my son—both in name and character. He had sold himself away, forbidding me from selling my bao ever again and even stopping me from making it. He was ashamed of me, his mother, a simple bun seller. He didn't want his new acquaintances to know that his mother was just a humble street vendor. Hence, he told me to stay at home and enjoy the fruits of his labor.

"Of course, I never stopped loving him and was happy that he achieved what he wanted, so naturally, I obliged..."

Her eyes grew distant, a soft sadness enveloping her as she spoke. "Not long after, he and his new wife had a beautiful baby boy—my grandson. Taking care of him brought me the happiest moments I had experienced in a long time. But my son didn't want my views or character to influence his little boy, so he took him away to live with his in-laws. I never got to see him as much as I wanted, and by the time he returned to me, he was already taller than I was, no longer the little boy I remembered. He had become the spitting image of his father, ambitious, calculating, always striving for the best and never even glancing at something as simple as a steamed bun..." Her eyes lowered in sorrow.

"Something he also inherited from his father was his ambition to get closer to the Li Family, but this time, with his father's full support. Unlike my son at that age, he had the privilege and connections to pursue his goals. Not to mention, he was just the right age to get close to the Li Family's youngest protégé—Li Tian."

Li Tian's eyes widened as he absorbed her story, and by the time he heard his own name, his mouth fell open in shock. The truth about her family was remarkably complicated, and, coincidentally, it was intricately linked to his own. How was that even possible? Yet, her story didn't clarify anything about her current situation in the hospital.

Wasn't her family wealthy now? Where were they? 

Did they abandon her?

"It seems my grandson actually managed to get acquainted with the Li Family protégé. He always had a lot to say about him... arrogant, obnoxious, overconfident—every word you'd use to describe a spoiled brat." Her gaze shifted to the hands holding hers. "But now, I wonder if all of that is really true..."

Li Tian winced. There was no doubt now—she knew exactly who he was. She had known all along.

"Fate works in mysterious ways... I was diagnosed two years ago, but by then, it was already too late." Her voice wavered. "I'm old now, and no treatment could change what's coming. It would only delay the inevitable. But honestly... I had been unhappy for a long time. The illness just made it worse—ten times worse. The devastation, the loneliness... the realization that no one would miss me when I'm gone." She trembled, her hands shaking in his.

"I felt abandoned," she whispered. "Spending money on treatments seemed pointless. No one wanted me anymore... I just couldn't handle it. So, I stopped everything and decided to spend my final months doing what I love—making pao for people to enjoy. And I cherished every moment at that little stall. I've had it for sixty years, my whole life wrapped up in it. The day it fell apart... was the day I knew my time was running out." Tears began to pour down her cheeks worse than they did moments before. It was as if a dam had broken open. "If only... I had taken it my stall out sooner... if only I had fixed it... maybe I wouldn't..."

"Grandmama!" Li Tian cried out in panic at the sight of her tear-streaked face. A whirlwind of emotions surged through him, emotions he struggled to articulate. She was just an old lady he had met a week ago, yet she had touched his heart in a way he couldn't put into words. She felt so close, yet so distant, and somehow, he felt intertwined with her. Unsure of how to ease her pain, he stammered, "I... I..."

"But I won't let myself have any regrets," she choked out between sobs. "Besides, I met such a kindhearted young man right before my time comes..." Her voice broke as she continued, "And the moment you called me your grandmama in front of all those people... it felt like a piece of my heart that had been lost was finally returned to me. I-I couldn't—"

Her voice cracked, and the tears streamed down her face uncontrollably. Seeing her cry, Li Tian felt his own tears welling up, unable to contain them any longer.

The weight of years spent in emotional pain was too much for her to voice completely. Years—years of being used, disregarded, and unloved as a single mother—had left scars deep within her, buried and unspoken. Her son and grandson, her own flesh and blood, had neglected her, choosing to sever their ties. Yet here she was, next to a young man—unaffiliated and younger than her actual grandson—fighting to protect her as if she were his own.

Though she had made many mistakes and endured countless hardships, in her final days, she was finally blessed with the one thing she had always longed for... being loved.

"Th-thank you, Xiaolang," she managed to say, her voice trembling. "For being here... for calling me your..." Her sobs grew more intense, and Li Tian couldn't bear to see her in pain any longer.

Without thinking, he wrapped his arms around her in a tight embrace. "You will always be my grandmama!" he blurted, his words tumbling out in a rush.

But it helped.

Grandmama chuckled softly through her tears and hugged him back, wetting his shoulder with her sorrow. "Mmm..." she smiled, her expression brightening even amidst her tears.

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