sarri
Leaving Drake's love was the hardest thing I've ever had to do, to never look into those eyes so full of passion, to never feel the softness of his lips, left a hole in my heart. How unfair of life to force me to turn my back on myself. I knew that I would never be the same, but I also knew that I could not be with him. As I landed Coran stood waiting for me, changing back I could not hide the tears that had already started to flow in my eyes. Without a word Coran wrapped his arms around me as I cried into his chest. Finally I whispered "it's not fare." Coran led me away from the others for privacy, as he sat me down on a large rock. "I know what this is about, I sensed what was happening since Killarai. Look Sarri you are my sister and I love you, I don't want to see you unhappy. If being with Drake is what you want then do it." I shook my head "you know what mother would do if she knew about this Coran, no I can not risk it, I can not risk him." "I'm sure if mother saw how you felt she may surprise you." I laughed a bitter laugh "you can not believe that, you know as well as I that she would have him killed for treason. She would never allow us to be, this I know. No it is better this way, it is better to end it before it got too far." Coran sighed as he lifted his arm for me to get closer "I'm sorry Sarri you deserve more then this." I sighed "if saving the one I love means living I life of unhappiness then I will do it. Besides I still have you," he smiled sadly. "You'll always have me, you should know that. As least you have finally accepted your fate to be queen." "You already knew I would Coran, despite what I want I cannot turn my back on my people." He pulled me into a hug then together we watched the stars just like we always did growing up.
I woke with the sun surprised that I had fallen asleep next to Coran but happy that his face was the first I saw. As I stared around the camp I realized that everyone else was already awake. Turning to Coran I gently woke him "Coran it is time to wake up." He groaned "whoa?" Then his eyes snapped open as he sat up right "what happened? What's wrong?" I smiled "nothing's wrong still your worry. Come on," Standing I extended my hand and helped him up. Approaching the others we were greeted warmly "I told them not to wake either of you. Of all of us you two needed the most sleep," hearing his voice reminded me of what had happened last night. However I could not show any of what I felt. Smiling I answered "thank you," Then sat down next to Deagan. Minutes later we were in the air I as a black dragon, Coran orange, Adryin pink, Deagan yellow and Drake white. It would take three days with no breaks to get to the sanctuary which is what we planned to do.
Three days later found us landing on the stone of the sanctuary once again. However this time there was no crowd there was no cheering, we saw from the sky that thousands were training so vigorously that they did not even notice our arrival. Changing back to human form we made our way to the palace and to where my mother was sure to be. As we entered the room her eyes widened with joy. "Oh thank heavens you are both safe," Standing she greeted both Coran and I with hugs. Finally after what seemed like ages she turned to Deagan and Drake. "I can not thank you enough for bring them back to me." Drake stepped forward "it was my pleasure your highness, however we could not have done it without the help of Adryin and her warriors." My mother turned to face Adryin "it seems I owe you my gratitude Adryin. You and your warriors will be honored for what you have done and if you so choose you will be honored by becoming a captain in my army. That is if you wish to join in our fight against Alicia of course." Adryin bowed "I would be honored to captain my own warriors under your banner your highness." My mother smiled "it is settled then, come and we will make all the arrangements." Turning to us my mother announced "we will have a special dinner tonight, all of you will attend." At my mothers word I expected everyone to abliedge, however I was surprised when Drake did not. "I'm sorry your highness but I'm afraid I can not come tonight for I would be with my warriors. In times like this I would like to be assured that they are ready for what will inevitably come." My mother paused in her exit out the door "surly that can wait one night commander. I would thank you properly," Drake shook his head. "I'm afraid not your highness, I fear we do not have much time left for preparation Alicia is sure to retaliate this last exploit of ours." My mother sighed deeply clearly irritated "very well then, do what you must." She waved her hand to dismiss him. Bowing, he swiftly exited the room. I stole a glance at Coran as Drake disappeared around the corner, he shrugged his shoulders. "The rest of you go freshen up for dinner while I get to know our new ally." With that my mother was out the door her footsteps fading away. "Come Sarri I'll walk you to your room," Deagan held out his arm for me to take. As I threaded my arm through his I faced Coran "I'll see you at dinner." He inclined his head as Deagan and I too left the room. Walking together we made our way through the palace. "I wanted to ask you something," I did not look at him dreading what he was going to say. "I know you've been through a lot these past weeks and I know a lot has happened since Alicia's attack on Crystalansio…" here he paused seeming to find the right words. "Deagan can this not wait, I am so tired that I don't think I'll even last through this dinner." I turned to Deagan hoping he would bite his tongue, however I saw the determination in his eyes. "I'm sorry but it can not," we stopped at the door to my room. Sighing I opened it to allow him inside. Once there I stood before him "very well then say what you must." He went to the window looking out at the stars "you must know that I ask this because I must." Suddenly he turned on me with fire in his eyes. "What is it between you and the commander? And don't lie to me for I can see it in your eyes." Stepping back I could not answer for the force in his eyes and the suddenness of his anger. "ANSWEAR ME!" Stammering I weakly answered "there's noth-" "DO NOT LIE TO ME!" He spoke through gritted teeth "if there was nothing going on then why were you with him at his sick bed-" Here it was my turn to get angry "how dare you question me, Drake had just saved my life it was my duty to see that he was well." "And on the night of your capture what do you say the reason for that?" I shook my head as I walked to the door "that is my business now I suggest you leave and don't speak to me until you have calmed yourself." Deagan laughed with malice "I will not leave until you answer the question." "And I will not answer you while you are in this state." We stood staring each other down until I watched him visibly extinguish his anger. "I'm sorry, it's just that I don't want to loose you. I just want you to be honest with me," I sighed. "I know things have not been the same between us since the attack but that is no reason to raise your voice when there is no need." "I know, but you must understand how I feel and how it looks when my soon to be wife consorts with another alone in the dark." Stepping closer I touched his face "Deagan believe me when I say there is nothing between Drake and I. I merely enjoy his company, you see ever since Killarai he has been a good friend to me. A friend is all he is, there is no need to suspect anything else. I love you and no one else," I smiled "how can I even want to be with a man like him? It is you that I want, I would never do anything to hurt you." Deagan pulled me into his arms "my heart wants to believe you but my head still has doubts. However I trust you and I know that you would never hurt me like that." He kissed my forehead "If you say he is just a friend then I will have to except that. However I want you to be carful around him, I do not trust him. I know his kind, it would be better if you would stay far away from him. But I will not presume to order you not to associate with him." Looking into his eyes I pulled him into a kiss, pulling back I announced "it is time I got ready." Deagan nodded "yes so should I or we will be late and I doubt the queen would appreciate that." I laughed bitterly "no she wouldn't." Deagan leaned in and gave me another quick kiss before leaving to his own room. Now alone I allowed the tears that I held back to flow freely, how did my life become so complicated? Now that I knew the feeling of a true love with a man, what I felt for Deagan seemed nothing more then mere childish affection. I sighed as I used the bowl of water on my night stand I washed my face, and then proceeded to get ready for dinner.
As we sat down to eat, Deagan sat next to me and Coran and Adryin sat across from us. My mother had dressed Adryin in a royal blue gown of silk and lace. She looked beautiful with her blond hair up in an elegant hair style. Looking to Coran I noticed him staring at her and smiled to myself, at least I can still see that he can be happy even if I can not. All through dinner I talked with everyone as if nothing was wrong. Never could or would I show anyone that my heart was broken. I watched as Adryin and Coran talked animatedly with each other, even Deagan noticed as he whispered to me "I think we might have two weddings to celebrate when this war is over." I smiled "they were made for each other." Deagan smiled back "as are we." At his words I had to force myself to keep smiling. When dinner was over my mother stood "Adryin I have had my servants prepare a room for you. It is yours for as long as you want and when we win this war whenever you visit the sanctuary you may use this room as your own." Adryin smiled "I thank you your highness you honor me with much kindness that I wonder if I really deserve it." My mother waved a hand "nonsense of cause you deserve it. Now it is time I went to bed, Sarri, Coran I suggest you two do the same." Then she smiled devilishly "however I know that you wont so just make sure you do not stay up too late we have much to do tomorrow." She left the dinning room without another word, speaking up first I said "why don't we go for a walk to show Adryin around." "Yes that would be great, I would love to see the training grounds I heard their even bigger then those in Crystalansio." Coran laughed "you have no idea." Deagan was the first to stand "it's settled then, maybe while we're there we can get some training in our selves." Following my idea we all left the palace and headed for the training grounds. As we walked Adryin and Coran talked behind Deagan and myself. Occasionally I turned back watching how Coran eyes lit up every time he stared at Adryin. On the fifth time Deagan nudged me in the arm "leave them be Sarri." I smiled as I faced him "it's so great that he finally found some one he likes." Deagan laughed "I thought he would never find anyone." I laughed with him, suddenly Coran yelled to us "what are you two laughing about?" "Nothing!" Deagan and I laughed again, just as we reached the training grounds. We stared across the grounds, I noticed that Adryin's warriors had already arrived. Adryin started to drag Coran to meet them then called us to come as well. We met many people as Adryin went through everyone. All bowed when they met us with a "your highness" or "my lord." It was very exciting to met warriors that seemed to love their life and enjoy every minute of it. Others that were training all stopped to see what the commotion was as they came and joined in on the excited talking. It was at this moment that through the throngs of people I spotted Drake. He and his warriors were welcoming the new comers. They started to make invites to train with them and welcomed them into their homes if they did not have any where to sleep. It was really quite exciting I only wish that I could have enjoyed it more as I stared at Drake feeling the loose in my heart. It wasn't until Adryin touched my arm was I pulled from my reverie. "You are going to like this," I looked at her confused. "What are you talking about?" She smiled devilishly "you'll see." Stepping up onto a stump she hushed the crowd into silence "now that we have all been introduced it's time for some entertainment. It is tradition among my warriors and I that whenever we meet new allies a battle shall be performed. This battle will be between the two strongest warriors, this would normally be me and the leader of whoever we met." Here she paused "However…as we all know there are another two with greater power then my own. Therefore tonight will be even more entertaining as we watch the two that hold the elders powers in their hands." All before Adryin cheered us they turned to us, as Adryin stepped down to stand beside me I whispered "what are you doing? This is ridiculous, why would we fight even for mere entertainment." Adryin laughed as she whispered back "you would not want to insult my warriors by going against tradition now would you?" Startled at Deagan's voice for I had not noticed that he was beside me and had heard what I said to Adryin. "Go on Sarri, if what you say is true and you are just friends how could it hurt. After all it is good manners to keep their tradition" I sighed it seemed that I had no choice, as I stared across the crowd at Drake. "Very well then let us get this over and done with," Adryin smiled as she yelled to the crowd. "Clear the grounds this may get dangerous." The crowd cheered as they lined the edges of the training grounds giving us as much room as they could while still being able to see. Meters apart both Drake and I moved to the middle of the field. Turning to face each other he stepped closer avoiding my eyes "we don't have do this." Despite the reasons of why I did not want to do this I was curious to see how powerful the elders had made him. Reaching down I tore the skirts of my gown above my knees so that I could move more freely. I decided to make some fun out of this as I smiled "not scared of being beaten are you?" At my words I watched the Cheshire grin cross his face "of you my princess I think not." I laughed "then let us show them what real power is, let them know the full strength of our ancient magic." He bowed "it would be my pleasure your highness." I bowed back as was courteous. Then without warning I connected with my power and threw an energy ball at him. He caught it with one hand and diminished it's power until it disappeared. The crowd cheered as he laughed, as one we draw our two swords from our hips. Charging at each other we connected with fanamial speed and strength. Each blow, block and counter attack made my blood flow through my veins faster. Never did our eyes look away from each others, never did I feel as alive as I looked into them. As our fight drew on I no longer heard the crowd, no longer saw them in the distance, and no longer was anyone here but Drake and myself. Sparks flew everywhere whenever our swords connected and with every time they did our strength seemed to grow, our speed quickened, we became more powerful then we ever would be were we alone. Swinging my sword I just missed his head only to be pushed back as his sword almost connected with my stomach. After what seemed like ages when it seemed neither of us would gain the upper hand I put up my hand to halt his next attack. "Enough of this, it is clear that neither of us can win like this." Drake smiled "I agree, shall we make it more interesting?" I smiled "after you," I watched as his body began to change. Drake's skin turned to scales, wings emerging from shoulders his entire body changing as he became the white dragon. Now it was my turn, I closed my eyes as seconds later I was the black dragon. Drake was bigger then me in size and just as bulky, my heart longed to find out who would be the victor in this battle. Acting first I spread my wings and took flight. Seconds later Drake joined me in the sky "let us find out how powerful the elders really made you." I spoke through my now dragon mouth "yes let us see." I roared in my dragon battle cry as I dived forward bringing my wings closer to speed up my approach. Surprising me he did not move, however at the last second he twisted his body so that I would collide with his spine horns. Thinking quickly I brought my forelegs forward so that as we collided my claws dug in near his spine. He roared in pain as his tail came round to hit me in my extended neck. Instinctively I let go only to push away off his side, as he flew after me each of us fought to gain the higher ground. Suddenly an idea came to me with the speed beyond the imagining of a large creature like me I furled my wing as I spun around. Now with my legs before me Drake's white form crashed into me as we lock together. Claws dug gashes, teeth ripped through scales, we were falling. Leagues from the ground we still were but if we did not disconnect soon we would both crash into the ground. With our power we would survive but I would need medical attention and it would take days for me to recover, for Drake and his healing power only a death blow would find him needing medical attention especially with the rate he heals with his new powers. Neither of us gave up however as I looked below another idea came to me. Using the power of my wings I forced Drake under me as I held him with my teeth dug into his neck. He tried to force me to the bottom but even with his new power I was still the stronger flyer. Then just as the ground got too close I pushed off him forcing him into the ground. From the air I watched as the earth below him crumbled from the impact. Once the dust had settled I landed near him. Still as dragon I looked down on his white scales till I met his eyes. They were closed, as I watched I could not help but feel frightened. Why is he not moving? Extending my neck I nudged his chin "Drake?" He changed from dragon to human, petrified I did the same as I ran to his side. I could see the crowd gap at what had happened before their eyes. On my knees I reached out to touch his shoulder, however we never touched for his eyes snapped open. Within seconds he was on his feet, sword in hand as he swung it through the air. Lightening fast I rolling to the side was on my feet with my own sword in hand. "That was cheating," He laughed "Come now your highness it was just a feint." I frowned as the crowd cheered again "that was not funny Drake. I thought you were really hurt," Drake looked into my eyes still smiling. "I was just trying to entertain the crowd, come let's continue." I glared at him "no, I have had enough entertainment for one night." Putting my sword away I started to walk off the field, however I did not get far before Drake pulled me back. He glanced around at the crowd who were still watching. Lowering his head he stepped back "as you wish your highness." I stared at him, still angry but not wanting to leave his company I did not move. Suddenly a hand touched my shoulder, turning I faced Deagan. "Are you alright?" I nodded smiling to cover that I had been staring at Drake. "Yes I'm fine it seems we are equally matched," the crowd had also approached. Surrounding us they commented on what they saw. As Deagan spoke with those in the crowd I looked to Drake again. A young girl of perhaps fifteen stood before him talking excitedly. Drake smiled at her with so much admiration that I found myself wondering who she was. I waited for her to turn around so that I might know what she looks like. From what I did see of her she had an innocent beauty I had not seen before, however to my dismay again Deagan pulled me from my thoughts. Stepping between me and where Drake stood he put his hands on my shoulders. "Is something wrong?" I did not answer nor did I look away from where I had been staring. I watched as Deagan turned to see what had drawn my attention. His eyes settled on Drake and the girl before him he turned back to me with fire in his eyes. Quickly I rushed to explain myself "it's not what you think Deagan-" he cut me off. "You have no idea what I am thinking," I sighed "I only stare because I wondered who it was that he speaks to." He shook his head "you expect me to believe that? Come on Sarri I am no fool," I gently reach up and touched his face. "Believe me that is the only reason, I can see that he likes this girl. I stared because I hope that he has found someone as I have." Deagan glanced at Drake again, relaxing as he turned back to me. He smiled "I am sorry I just thought…" He sighed "anyway come we should get some sleep. We have a lot to do tomorrow." I smiled "yes after what has happened recently it would be nice to spend some time alone together." Taking my hand he started to lead me away from the training grounds. I glanced back briefly with sadness in my heart as Drake and I locked eyes. Sadness was in his eyes too forcing myself to look away and smile as I looked at Deagan.
I awoke later that night sweating, fear entered my heart the dreams were back. Now that Alicia no longer held me they had come back in full blast, the pain that I felt in my dreams was worse then it had ever been before. Gently slipping out of bed so as not to wake Deagan I dressed and left the room. Wondering through the palace I found myself before Coran's door, quietly I turned the knob. Peeking inside my heart sank to find that he was not there, he must still be with Adryin. Closing the door again I sighed in sadness, I thought about calling Coran with my mind but I did not want to interrupt his night. He deserved happiness and I was not going to ruin it by pulling him away to help me. I could not talk to Deagan about this nor could I go to Drake. Deagan would tell me not to worry and to just ignore the dreams and Drake? I sighed I could not go to him, I will simply have to face this on my own. In warrior's garb I left the palace, I did not know where I was going only that I needed to get away. My legs took me where they willed, until I finally stopped before the gate way to the resting place of the elders resided. Overcome by emotion I asked the wind "what is happening to me? Please dragon elders help me to understand why this has happened. Why did you determine my destiny in such a way?" The tears still flowed "you once told me that my destiny was to be with one of honor and loyalty. You told me that I would know instantly who it was. You said that we would share a connection like no other, I thought it was Deagan but…." I became angry as I thought of everything "YOU LIED! HOW CAN MY DISTINY BE WITH A MAN THAT I CAN NOT HAVE?!" I fell to my knees "I do not have the strength for this. I struggle to resist what my heart wills," I looked to the ground and whispered "please I beg you. I don't know what to do," At that moment I heard a rustle in the bushes behind me. Spinning around I faced Karsha, my surprise was instant. "Karsha! Where have you been? You just disappeared you know I hate it when you do that," she padded forward. "My kind needed me, they have been discussing many things concerning this world." I gathered her in my arms "I feel so lost Karsha." She allowed me to finish my hug before she spoke again "I know it has been hard for you and I am sorry for that. However I can not tell you what to do, things must come to pass on their own." Annoyed I stood and turned my back on her "your words do nothing to comfort me. I can not go along with what the elders say will come to pass. Too much stands in the way of Drake and I being together. I am betrothed to Deagan if I go back on that we will not only be fighting Alicia but we will be involved in a civil war. I can not let that happen to my people they have been though too much as it is. Also if I confessed my feelings for Drake my mother will surly have him hanged for treason. It is forbidden to marry any but one of noble blood, I will not watch him die for simply being in love with me." Karsha smiled in her feline way "you sound as if you have not truly opened yourself to the fact that you love him back." I spun on her even angrier then before "I CAN NOT LOVE HIM!" my hands clenched into fists "the elders did not know what they did when they determined us to be together. I will not let myself be convinced of something that can not be made reality." Karsha shook her head "only when you except it can you be free of these dreams. Only when you are true to yourself can you hope to defeat Alicia. I can not force you to do anything I only hope that for the sake of your kingdom you do not fight it too long." She started to walk away "where are you going?" turning only her head she answered "heed my words Sarri, I will be back when the time is right." She then continued forward and disappeared through the trees.