It was hard to tell how long we sat behind that piano in utter silence. I had planned to count out ten Mississippis and then go from there, but every time I reached the goal, I freaked out and started over. After a while, I'd given that up completely and just sat there with Maddie in my arms, waiting and listening.
"I want Mommy."
I was quick to cover Maddie's mouth, terrified that the infected would still be able to hear her. However, after ten seconds and no signs of them, I let her mouth go but kept her in my lap.
She said it again. "I want Mommy." Her voice was thick and she hiccuped halfway through.
My throat choked up and I almost couldn't answer her. However, after taking a few deep breaths, I managed to say, "Me, too."
"Where's Mommy?"
"She . . . we . . . I . . ."
What was I supposed to tell my six-year-old sister? That our mother and father were both dead now and that we were on our own? When her hamster died almost a year ago we'd told her that he'd gone off to grandma and grandpa's old farm. I couldn't possibly tell her that, could I?
. . . Could I?
Swallowing my own tears, I pulled her far enough away to look her in the face—not that the piano would let me hold her any farther—and I forced myself to smile. I forced myself to look pleasant. I forced my voice to stay even when all I wanted to do was break down.
"Mommy is with Daddy . . . they went to Grandma and Grandpa's old farm," I said, almost losing it halfway through as I looked at her red, tear-and-snot-smeared face.
She was quiet for a moment, then sniffed, "With Hemmy?"
I nodded. "With Hemmy."
Part of me felt like she didn't believe that for an instant. She didn't fuss or fight, though. Just stared at my chest as she mulled the idea around in her tiny head and impressionable mind. I used the time to pull myself together if only to keep Maddie from freaking out. The last thing I needed was for her to start that scream-crying again and bring the infected back down upon us. We'd never get out if they returned.
"I want to go home."
Sighing inwardly, I started to help her get out from behind the piano but I stopped. The one thing that was sure to set her into a panic would be seeing our parents. I had been trying my hardest not to look at the two dark heaps on the floor in the worship room, but I wouldn't be able to keep her from doing the same.
"Maddie," I said, making her look me in the face. "I need you to close your eyes tight for me, okay? Don't open them at all. Pretend we're playing hide and seek, okay?"
"Why?"
"Can you just do that for me? I'll tell you later, okay?" I said, summoning as much patience as I could under the circumstances. An eerie calm had fallen over me and I found it incredibly easy to keep from escalating.
"Okay," she murmured, clenching her eyes shut.
Relieved, I set her down next to me and then squeezed out from behind the piano. I took her hand once I was free and gently led her out to join me. Our bags were lying right at the foot of the piano and I picked them up, sliding mine over my shoulders.
"Can you carry your backpack for me?"
Maddie shook her head. I opened my mouth to argue but clamped it shut and just added it to my burden again. It wasn't worth it right now and I didn't want her to get loud. Instead, I put my hands on her shoulders and made her face away from the worship room. Mom and Dad's bags were still there, but I wasn't about to walk through the carnage to get them.
The back door was lying on the ground, cracked and splintered. The darkness of the night opened like a yawning mouth waiting to swallow us whole. I could barely make out the street in the glow of the lamps, and it didn't look like there was anyone out there.
"I think it might be better if we stay here, tonight, Mads," I muttered.
She shook her head. "I want to go home. I'm scared."
"I know . . . I am too . . . but we have a long walk and it's dark outside. Can't we stay here just until the sun comes up?" I was almost begging.
However, I didn't want to stay in the church, either. Not when Mom and Dad were in there and both of the entrances were compromised. I wasn't sure what would be more dangerous; walking through the night, past the school where all of this began, and somehow making it home after probably more than an hour of walking . . . or staying trapped in the building with no doors and the bodies of our parents.
"I want to go home!"
Maddie decided for me. If I refused her request, she'd make a racket and bring all the fury of the infected down upon us. At least if she was placated, we had a chance of walking through the darkness and maybe managing to not be noticed. If a car came along, we could try to flag them down and get a ride. Maybe. It was a thought, at least.
"Okay, hold on."
I struggled to find my phone and came up with nothing. Had I dropped it somewhere? After making sure Maddie knew I would be right back and that she needed to keep her eyes shut, I checked behind the piano. It wasn't there. The only other place would be the front entrance or the worship room, and I didn't want to be in either of those places—not unless I walked around the building to the front.
It would have been nice to call an Uber or Lyft, though . . . even a taxi . . .
Fine. I would risk it.
"Come with me. I want to find my phone," I said, leading Maddie outside after quite a bit of hesitation. There was no one waiting around the side of the building, though, so I told Maddie, "Okay, you can open your eyes."
"We're going home?" she asked.
"Yes, as soon as I find my phone, okay?"
"Okay."
We snuck around the church to the front and I stopped short, pulling Maddie back around the corner when I saw something by the door. She started to gasp but I got down to her level and said, "Shh, it's okay. I think it's nothing. Let me look."
"Be careful," she whined.
With one hand holding hers, I peered around the corner. There was a limp form hanging out of the window and I watched it for movement, but nothing happened. Turning to Maddie, I put my finger to my lips and pulled her along with me as I walked toward the door. She whimpered but otherwise didn't fight me.
I sat her down just outside the door and said, "See? It's nothing . . . just a, uh . . . a sleeping infected. Just sit here and tell me if they start waking up or if anyone else starts coming, okay?"
Nodding, Maddie sniffed and hugged her knees to her chest.
I put the bags down next to her. "Can you watch these?"
Again, she nodded.
Though I didn't fully trust her, I didn't have much of a choice and I tip-toed back inside the church, glancing at the woman hanging in the window. I felt a strange sense of vindication—the bitch had tried to bite me and look where it had gotten her! If nothing else, at least one of those suckers had bitten the dust.
However, my phone wasn't anywhere to be found in the entryway. I ducked low and shuffled toward the entrance to the worship room and spotted it right by the pews where we had been sitting. It was hard to keep my eyes on the prize—they kept wanting to dart toward the unmoving figures in the aisle not too far away. Once I had my phone in hand, though, I darted outside to where Maddie was waiting.
My heart was trying to beat out of my chest, but I was okay. Everything was okay. I just had to figure out now if I was going to be able to get a ride out of that place.
If at all . . . There was some sort of error message that kept coming up, telling me that it was deemed too dangerous for drivers. The number I called for a taxi company rang busy no matter how much I spam called.
Fuck.
Maddie tugged on my coat. "I want to go home. I'm tired. I'm hungry."
Bitterness swelled inside me and I felt nothing but resentment when I looked at her. She was so whiny and needy, and now I was responsible for her. How was that fair? I hadn't asked for this or wanted it, and yet there I was.
"It's going to be a long walk, Maddie. We have to go past the school, too. Are you sure you want to go now instead of the morning?"
She was quiet for a spell, then yawned. I sighed and peered inside. Still quiet.
"C'mon. Let's go inside where it's warmer."
"Okay."
"We'll go home in the morning."
"Okay."
Relieved, I had her close her eyes again and led her inside. Just in case, I turned off the entryway light and used the lamps from outside to guide the way. I took her toward the bathrooms and realized there was another set of doors at the very end of the hall. One was a closet for storage and the other led to a sort of mess hall. I'd never been happier the whole evening than right then.
"Look, Maddie! We can stay here tonight. Maybe they'll have some food," I said, closing the door up behind us. There was no lock, but I figured it would be fine.
Maddie's face brightened and she shuffled over to one of the cafeteria-style tables to sit down. She was still yawning. I deposited our bags at the table as well.
Then, I found the kitchen area and raided the cupboards and fridge: all I could find was some bottles of water and popcorn. Honestly, those were better than nothing.
For the sixth time in as many minutes, I had to stop and try to scratch my arm. It wasn't inconvenient before, but now it was keeping me from reaching for the popcorn on the top shelf.
Scratching at it through my jacket wasn't working, so I went to pull the sleeve back and—
Is that a hole?
I dug around in the fabric until I felt it again. A small tear. My heart started to beat faster and I stared at it for a lapse of time, my mind running a mile a minute.
"Taryn?"
"Hang on, Maddie," I called over my shoulder. "I found some popcorn and water."
"Yum, popcorn!"
Quick as I could, I snatched up the popcorn and tossed it in the microwave to start popping. It took about forty seconds of cook time for me to work up the courage to pull my sleeve back.
A half-choked sob nearly slipped out, but I muffled it with my hand. I glanced at Maddie, but she was off in her own world, poking around inside her bag.
There, on the bare skin of my forearm, was a small cut where that infected woman had bitten me.