My mother used to say that you can never have all that you wanted. And she was right, she always were. Now here I am, kneeling in front of the only man I ever loved and all I can think of is where did I ever go wrong. Was it because I met him? Was it because I was the daughter of a man he hated? Or was it because I loved him?
It was foolish of me to look at him and dream of one day being able to receive his smile. It was foolish of me to think he would accept me. It was foolish to hold on to him thinking there might be a chance. It was foolish of me to love him. Because you see, love doesn't work that way.
You can't expect someone to love you just because you love them. You can't expect them to look at you when to them you were always invisible. You can't ask them for something they never had for you.
Not gonna lie it hurts and I can't even tell you how many times I cried because of it. How many times I fell on my knees because my heart hurts and no one was there to understand the hurt I feel.
It was painful but I love him and maybe that was the reason why I never did anything to separate them. It hurts watching someone you love give all that you wish he would give you to someone else over and over. It hurts knowing he was capable of loving someone that way but it wasn't you. He didn't choose you he chose someone else someone not you.
It hurts because you're losing him. And you see him happy with someone else and you don't want to get in the middle and interfere because deep down you knew that he will never be that happy with you.
He isn't gonna smile like that to you, or laugh or talk about you like that because he doesn't love you that way and that hurts as if you were stabbed right in your heart. And you know what hurts the most? It's not knowing why and because of that you think there must be something wrong with me. And then you say to yourself if I was him I might not choose me either.
Now were here, and I can't even feel anything anymore. I can't cry, i can't speak I am just too tired. And for the first time since I love him. I have decided to let go. It might be late but at least I'd die without any attachment to him.
Now I understand that when the pain of holding on is greater than the pain of letting go, I must let go. Maybe by letting go I could be happy, something I wished for all the days of my life. Im letting go since you have let go long ago.
And then I closed my eyes and finally I found peace. It only took seconds and a swing of a blade to end it all.
For some reason it was warm. The kind of warm my mother's arm would give me. I opened my eyes and dear Lord. It is my mother, I'm in the room where mother and father created all of us.
Am I dreaming? There is gotta be a mistake. They say your memories play when you die is this it? This looks so real to me.
"That's because it is real".
I looked beside momma and I see an angel?
" That's right. Hi little girl. You have been given a gift."
" What gift?"
" Sweetheart you have been reborn. This time God has given you a second chance to choose how you wanna live your life. Isn't that amazing?"
"I am Cassius by the way."
" Reborn!? ME!?"
"YES YOU!"
If Im reborn again does that mean I am going to go through all that pain again?
" You know what would happen already its up to you to change it."
Change. A second Chance
This is it! My chance to have happiness and be with my family again.
I AM REBORN PEOPLE!
A/N
This one is short hope you will forgive me. Like and follow me for updates. Thank You