"AAAARGH!!"
As I scream I wake up with a pain in my head. The stewardess stands few feet next to me with a worry face.
"Are you okay, Sir ?" she asks. I just nod. I know she's more concern about my mental health. Well I won't blame her. The man who took down her strip of sleeping pills just screamed like a beast. Anyone would be concerned.
While waiting for the headache to fade away, I analyze what just happened.
Yes, as you might have guessed, I had the scorpion dream again. I now recall that I have had that dream whenever I got wounded.
When the headache is gone, I check my condition. My bullet scar is healed. So are the bruises from the beating I received during interrogation. But my foot is still displaced. I guess my brain can't telekinetic after all.
When we arrive at my country, the pilot forcefully takes me to hospital. The doctor in E.R a bit shock to see my leg's position but thankfully it is only a displacement. Nothing is broken. Still he makes me stay in the hospital for a night. I need to once again use Dr. Lamos to get me out. Thus, I need to call Andy.
"What are you gonna do now ?" Andy asks me after I tell him about my brain via phone.
"I don't know. I need to slow down my brain first." My brain still hasn't reduced its speed even after I slept.
"How ?"
"I don't know," I shake my head in frustration. "He said something about meditation."
"Hmm.. that's make sense." Andy is more Eastern than me. "I know a priest. He lives in a temple at Little East Maybe he can teach you to meditate " he continues.
Since I couldn't take the sloe dragging movements surround me anymore right after I could get out from the hospital I go looking for the priest. Luckily, he is easy to be found. Well at least his temple is.
It is the only temple in the district maybe in town. He is not just lives there. He is the leader of the priests. So, to have an appointment with him is not as easy as finding his temple. As a matter a fact after I told one of his disciple about my intention he sends me to his subordinate.
"Hello, Sir.. I'm Han," the subordinate introduces himself. I, once again tell him my need to come to the temple.
"I'll be glad to teach you meditation," Han says with a gentle smile. Han then leads me to a room that has minimal light and full of scent. He sits on the carpeted floor and asks me to sit in front of him.
"Close your eyes, and try to regulate your breathing," he starts to guide me. I do as he said. "Count to five while you are inhaling. Try to feel all the sensation on your body while you do that. Hold it to five. Then breathe out in five," he continues. To be honest, in my speed, each step he said is taking like 20 seconds or so. Still he asks me to slow down. "Longer... slower.." I decide just follow his instruction.
"Good.. now I want you to speak loud about your anxiety.."
"I don't have any anxiety," I murmur. "My brain is just working too fast."
"Okay. When did it start working faster ?" he asks. I sigh inwardly. I told him my story already. "I know you told me already," he says as if he can read me, "but you need to tell it again now."
"It started after I woke up on my comatose. I was hit by explosion wave and drowned in a lake," I say.
"Keep your breathing pace.. Good.. But you still okay with it. Why ?"
"It's not as fast as now. And.. didn't happened all the time."
"When did it happen then ?"
"Hm.. when I was not with Jen."
"Aah.. so, are you still with her now ?"
"No.."
"Did something happen that made it works faster ?"
"I triggered it on purpose. I needed to dodge bullets to save a boy."
"How did you triggered it ?"
"I'm not sure. I just determined to be faster than the bullets that raining on me."
"So you just ordered your brain to be fast ?"
"I guess so. But I can't order it to slow down."
"That's okay, Mr. Bennet. Keep breathing slow."
I realize my breathing is getting faster as my pitch was slightly higher.
"I'm anxious.. .afraid... that I will never be able to slow my brain down. I'm afraid that my brain might explode," those words just fly away from my mouth. It is funny when I feel more relax once I admit them out loud.
"Feel better ?" Han asks. "Yeah," I murmur.
"Good.. keep the slow breathing, Mr. Bennet. Now, please describe to me what makes you relax ?"
"Sex," I answer without a thought.
"Hmm.. why don't you have sex then to relax yourself ?"
"I can't enjoy it any longer. All I could think of is Jen."
"I see. Okay.. let's try another approach... Can you remember when are you being happy ?"
"Yes.."
"When is it ?"
"Sex .. " Without opening my eyes, I can clearly see that Han's face is getting red. "With Jen," I add.
"Beside sex.. and Jen ?"
I'm in silent for few seconds. It is hard for me to recall when I was happy.. or sad.. or angry... or.. having any other feeling before I met Jen. I know I only have less than 5 years of memory, but is it normal to have no strong feeling of anything for that long ? The only thing, or person, who can trigger my feeling is Jen.
"Mr. Bennet ?"
"No, I can't recall it."
I can hear Han is taking a deep breath.
"Tell me about Jen.." he finally says.
"She's beautiful. Red hair. Green eyes. She has a perfect body. She is amazing in bed, very flex.."
"Is that why you love her ?" Han cuts me.
"No. I love her because she matched me the opposite ways. She works in justice while my job is eliminating people. Her thoughts and opinions made me rethought about my decisions. She was like a fresh air in my life."
"Is she your first love ?"
"As far as I remember.. yes.."
"When you think of her, were you sad or happy ?"
"Happy. She always makes me happy." I even smile unconsciously.
"Good. Think of your happy moments with her."
"Is the sex scenes allowed ?" I ask, teasing Han.
"Yeah.. sure.. if you feel like it," he answers with a little stammered. I suck a smile while starting to remember my moments with Jen.
We only together less than three months so there are actually not too many moments. But I realize even the small moments with her warm my heart.
Her kisses before she went to work, her pouts whenever I teased her, her hair rubbing my face when I hugged her, her sparkling eyes when she told me something exciting, and even her unique body scent, they are all rushing into my brain from a place where I kept them lock for all this long. Weird enough, though they bring some bitter sweet feeling, they are able to calm me down.
"Is it working ?" Han asks. I guess he just wants to confirm since he should know the answer from my wide smile.
"Yes," I reply him anyway.
"Good. Keep digging those memories until your brain has normal speed," he says before leaving me alone.
I don't know how long I medicated.. nor how long I slept, I open my eyes when someone shake my top arm. It is Han.
"How are you doing ?" he asks.
"Great !" I answer, realizing he is now speaking at normal speed. I can't believe that Jen is my savior.
"Here, have some food first, he says, offers me a bowl of rice and some veggie on a tray.
"How long have I been here ?" I ask him while eating the food with bare hand. They give me chopstick, but I can only use chopstick on noodle, not rice.
"Four days," he says. No wonder I am starving. I eat the food heartily then stand up about to leave.
"Thank you for your guidance," I say to Han with bowing a little.
"No problem," he says, bows back to me.
"How much should I pay ?"
"It's free. We are more than happy to have people want to learn mediation.But, you can donate if you want," he says then give me a paper that has a bank account written on it.
"Thank you," I say again. On my way home, I manage to transfer some money to the bank account.
Once got home, I take a shower then go online to shop a racing motorcycle for Roberto. That kid saved my live couple of times. So I decide not only to buy him a new motorcycle, but also to send him some money, enough to ensure his education and his family's live. Of course transferring that amount of money is not as simple as donating to the temple. I need to use my shell company to make the transfer, make it as if he won a big lottery.
After finish doing those stuff, I place my self comfortably in front if my big window with spotting scope on my hand. I miss her. It's been more than a week I'm not seeing her. It's a little past six PM. she should come soon. She usually come around six.
An hour later, her silhouette is nowhere to be found. Her room is dark and her curtain is still up. She only closes her curtain when she is asleep.
Where is she ? I realize, I'm starting getting more and more worry the more hours I spend on the edge of the window. I try to calm my self by the breathing technique I just learnt.
When the clock is at 8 PM, I decide to call her office. No one is picking up. So she is not in the office to work late. Where is she ? Is she okay ? Is she having trouble maybe ?
All those negative thoughts make me more worry. I don't even realize that my brain increase its speed again. I just walk back and forth on my living room and check on her window now and then.
It is only near 10 PM when I see the light of her room is on. I quickly focussing my scope while hoping not to see her injured. She walks toward the window.. back stepping ? A second later I realize she is not alone. A man is embracing her while her arms snaking onto his neck. They are kissing.
"Hey !!" I yell in reflect, hoping that it can stop them doing what they are doing. Of course.. 600 meters away from me, they can't even hear me.
His hand is now touching her breast while his lips move to her neck. I ball my fist. With a little trouble, he undresses her then pushes her onto the bed. All I can do is tighten my fist. When he put down his boxer and join her on the bed, I throw my scope so hard that it flies through my bedroom door and hit the headboard.