As Kathrine Ann woke, she saw the warm sunlight through her closed eyelids and felt its comforting warmth surrounding her. She felt happy and content. She couldn't remember the last time she woke up feeling so rejuvenated. With a yawn, she blinked her eyes open, and her breath caught. The warmth she felt hadn't been the sun but Lucifer! His arms wrapped around her and her arm laid over him, her head practically on his chest!
"Good morning, my cuddly doll." His voice almost purred.
Her whole body felt like it was about to explode from embarrassment. She shoved herself away from him, "Wh...What do you think you're doing?" She fussed, holding the blanket up around her body.
"Me? I didn't do anything, Baby Girl. You were the one who cuddled up to me last night, and how could I resist such an adorable invite." He smirked, propping his head upon his hand. She was out of her mind with embarrassment and confusion. She got off of the cot. Her mind was frantic, "Oh, Come on, it wasn't that bad. You seemed happy enough when you pulled me closer last night."
"You...You should have stopped me." She fussed, "You should have pushed me away, not pulled me closer!"
"And why, in all of Hell, would I do such a stupid thing like that?" He asked as he threw the covers back to get up, revealing he was only wearing boxers and making her even more embarrassed.
She didn't know what to say, her face burning, and she felt not only embarrassed but guilty. What about William, she never left him, were they still married? No, they weren't. He married someone else and so did she. More guilt! Why was she thinking about William right now? Kathrine Ann had to clear her head, and having Lucifer staring at her wasn't helping. She quickly grabbed a change of underclothes before rushing out of the tent into the chilly morning,
"Where are you going?" He chuckled, following her out while pulling on some baggy sweatpants as she quickly walked past the campsite towards the hot spring. "Baby Girl, where are you going?" He asked again after she didn't answer and picked up her pace, "Answer me, Kathrine Ann, I can't have you just roaming off,"
"I'm going bathe. Just leave me alone!" She called back, only for him to appear right in front of her, no longer smirking. He looked angry as his eyes captured hers and she swore she could see red, was it the suns playing tricks?
"Bathe?" He asked through gritted teeth, "You wake up in my arms after putting yourself there, and now you need to bathe?"
"That's not what I meant, but you should have known how I would feel waking up in your... Someone else's arms." She quickly corrected, but the look in his eyes told her she failed. The worst part was that it wasn't anger that she saw now.
"Say what you truly mean. I knew you would be upset waking up in my arms." He said coldly, "No. No, I knew you would be flustered, embarrassed, maybe even annoyed but never did I think disgusted." His blue eyes suddenly went distant, blocking out anything he felt and something in her heart ached.
"I didn't say that! You're putting words in my mouth." She accused as panic set in. She hadn't said she was disgusted.
"You wake up in my arms, and your first instinct is to go take a fucking bath!" He growled.
"That's not what I meant, Lucifer. I just need to clear my head," She mumbled as guilt filled her chest. She shouldn't have said bathe. She didn't mean to insinuate she felt dirty by being close to him, "I don't think that,"
"Go take your bath. We'll pack up and head back when you're done. This was obviously a mistake." He mumbled as he turned his back to her and walked back towards the campsite.
She wanted to stop him and say something, she hadn't meant to hurt him, but she didn't know what to say! Her mind was a chaotic mess, a mix of shock, embarrassment, guilt, and confusion, so she turned toward the spring. She needed to calm down and relax so she could think straight.
~~~
Kathrine Ann floated on her back in the warm calming spring, but she was nowhere near calm. Though the soothing water had helped her body relax, her mind was in a mess. She was so stupid! How could she tell him she needed to bathe! Just last night, she remarked on how he didn't think before speaking, and this morning she did the exact same thing. A groan escaped her lips as the look on his face flashed through her mind. She wished he would have just stayed angry with her. She had been trying to sort out her feelings and accept the things that had happened to her, but it was hard. It felt like her whole life had been scratched out and rewritten, but the original draft was still in the back of her mind, and the truth was she didn't know how to accept it. She was trying, but some things in her past were hard to let go of, William being a big one. He was gone, their marriage long over. William had remarried and created a new life with someone else. A family with children and grandchildren living happily ever after while she stayed the same and longed for what she had lost. But this morning, when she woke, she felt a warmth and happiness she never thought she would feel again, contentment she had only ever felt in William's arms, but it wasn't him that she woke to. It was just so hard to accept. She had gotten used to that pain deep in her chest; that pain was all she had left of him, and even though it hurt, she didn't want to let go, but it was fading. She was moving on with her new life, a life with Lucifer, one that was starting to look like it might not be as horrible as she imagined, and now she fucked up what was turning out to be an important step in their unconventional relationship. Opening her eyes, she flipped and swam to the shore. In her rush, she forgot a towel, so she did her best to shake off the water from her body before slipping on her clean underclothes and the night clothes she woke up in before walking back to the campsite, determined to make amends for her words. She walked slowly, not because she didn't want to apologize, but because she didn't know how to. What was she supposed to say, 'Sorry for running straight to the spring to bathe myself after waking up to you embracing me this morning.' She sighed again as a combination of the chilly morning air and her damp clothes made her shiver. She let out a loud sigh as she resolved to tell him the truth about how she was feeling. It would be embarrassing, but it was better than him thinking she thought he was disgusting. When she finally got back to the campsite, Lucifer was squatting by the fire still shirtless and cooking something that was simmering in a pot,
"You know, if Vassal finds out you can cook so well, she may put you to work when we get back." She said, attempting to lighten the mood with a bad joke.
"Breakfast is almost ready if you want to go pack up your things." He replied, his words cold, and he didn't even bother to look at her.
"I don't want to." She replied in a low mummer as she took a few steps closer.
He stood up and let his head fall forward with a sigh but still didn't turn to face her. She took a few more steps closing the remaining distance, and reached her arms around his abdomen, hugging him from behind and laying her head on his back, "I'm sorry, Luce." She whispered as he stiffened in her arms, "Please let me explain."