Carrying him like that, as if he were a mere sack of potatoes, the monster took him down the corridor and then turn right. Suddenly the white bright light of the day was poured over him, forcing him to blink, his eyes tearing-up immediately. Blinking, he realized they were outside, the stones of the path right beneath his head sprinkled with small patches of grass. Outside!, he repeated to himself and his heart raced. Which meant that they'd crossed the door that he'd been searching for these past two days.
His vision blurring, he blinked furiously wanting to see more. He could feel the warmth of the sun on his back and behind. And the gentle wind that brushed his blushed face smelled sweet and fresh. Trying to raise his head he blinked again and saw a small patch of something red slowly dancing in the breeze. Flowers …?
The sound of surprised whispers and of people walking around told him that there were other men nearby, and he unconsciously held tighter to that moving mountain of darkness. A dark shadow covered him for a moment and then they were under the sun again and climbing something. The ground that he could see also changed and now was mainly brown dirt and small, lost pebbles.
Snow didn't know how long he was carried like that. Only that, by the time the monster finally stopped, even though he felt excited to finally be outside, he also felt dizzy and queasy, from being upside down for so long, his stomach pressed against his back. Blinking blindly, his legs shook when he was finally put down, and he wiped his eyes and face on the sleeve of his tunic.
"Why the fuck are you crying?"
He wasn't, he shook his head, even though more tears quickly filled his eyes. It was only that now that the mass of darkness had released him and stepped away from him the light of the sun felt even brighter. The monster tesked impatiently and, grabbing him by his tunic, pulled him closer. A familiar clicking sound filled his ears and then the metallic collar around his neck was gone. Fear immediately filled Snow's heart and he immediately shook his head, trying to step back, even though he had no illusions that the monster would let him go.
"What you did back then, do it again!" the heavy voice commanded and he bit down his lower lip and shook his head even more vehemently. "I need to know how you do it! That red array! Do it again!"
Blinking tears away, Snow covered his ears and kept shaking his head. His chest was hurting again, making it hard to breathe, especially with his mouth shut, but there was no way he was going to open it. It was as if something inside him was about to break because he refused to comply with the monster's order, and yet he knew he'd rather die than be the cause of more senseless death.
"Damn brat! Don't test my patience! Look around you! There's no one here but you and I! So just go on and try to kill me! Don't you want to be free? Don't you want to run away?? Kill me!" the monster shouted, the darkness expanding threateningly, a cold, dark wind whipping his face. But that order only made Snow bite his lip even harder, his mouth tasting of blood.
Yes, he wanted to be free! Yes, he wanted to run away from all of them! Yes, he wanted to kill him! He wanted to, but the thought alone was enough to make him gasp in pain. His swollen, bloody lips quivering he tried to shut them again, but now he couldn't do it anymore, desperately gasping for air. He felt as if he was going to die, and he wished he would die quickly and be done with it.
"Do you need me to hurt you? Do you need me to make you scream like they did? Is that it?" the cruel voice asked and Snow raised his head to look up at him, to look up at those hateful blue eyes that seemed to glow amongst all that darkness. Raising a shaky hand he tried to grab it, grab something, find something real, something solid, something human inside all that blackness.
"Stop …" he barely whispered between forceful breaths of air and pressed his hand against the monster.
A blast of cold wind almost scooped him from his feet, and then everything went deadly silent and still.
Blinking his tears away, Snow saw the blue eyes widen in a mix of horror and surprise, and then he could actually see him! Not a mass of wavering darkness but an actual man!
Even though he was clearly a few years older than him, he looked surprisingly young, his pale skin contrasting heavily with the black eyebrows that arched over his big blue eyes. He also had black hair, long and silky, tied in a single ponytail at the top of his head, the dark locks of hair that had been blown by the wind still floating midair. His lips were thin and a soft pink shade, and he was much taller than him. Overall he could have been handsome, even beautiful, if not for the cold hatred filling that bright-blue gaze. But he clearly wasn't some dark, immaterial monster either. And Snow couldn't help wonder what the others saw when they looked at him. Was he the only one who could see his monstrous appearance? Or did they all see it?
Recovering from his clear shock, the hand still grabbing him threw him back, hard, making Snow fall on the ground with a loud thud. His bottom hurt and so did his back, and the moment he stopped touching him it was as if the world had started to move again, darkness even heavier than before gathering around the monster, covering him like a heavy mantle and hiding him from his sight.
"If you ever do that again! I will tie a boulder to your feet and throw you into the deepest sea!" he roared and Snow couldn't help cringe, pressing his lips together again, afraid he might scream in fear. The darkness that surrounded him felt cold and deadly, as if it could smother him to death at any moment. Somehow, he didn't know how or why, he had made the monster furious. "Do you understand me?" Snow nodded, quickly, wishing he could drag his trembling body back, away from him, but unable to move. "Stop nodding and shaking your head like a mindless doll! Speak!"
"Yes!" he immediately replied, louder than he wanted to, but unable to resist his command.
"If you think that I'm afraid of what might happen to me if I kill you, you couldn't be more wrong! So mark my words! Pull a stunt like that again and may the Gods help me, I will pull your heart out and feed it to the dogs!"
Snow cringed and hugged his knees, turning his body into a small, quivering ball. The word dogs only made him even more scared and he didn't dare move a single hair. Blinking his tears away, he did his best to stifle his sobs, pressing his bloody mouth against the soft fabric of his pants.
Raking a trembling hand through his hair, Nox ZaiWin looked at trembling human ball at his feet. He was scared to death, he realized, frowning annoyed. That damn brat! He hadn't felt this shaken, this furious, in a long, long time. And the sensation that still lingered after all his daitai had been suppressed sent a shiver down his spine and made him even angrier. He had to find a way to kill that damn brat as soon as possible, he decided. As if it wasn't enough that his mere existence had drawn a bright-red target on his back, the freak also had the ability to render him totally and completely defenseless with one touch! And he'd rather die one-thousand deaths than to be that defenseless ever again!
"Shit!" he spat, his daitai still burning, responding to his fury. The mere thought of it brought bloody images back to his mind. His mother lying on a pool of her own blood, her long black hair spread over the white stone floor, her snowy gown quickly turning red, her blue eyes slowly losing their glow. And the cold, indifferent expression of the golden-haired woman standing at her side, looking down at his mother's body with hard, golden eyes; holding in her elegant, pale hand the dagger with which she had just stabbed her right in front of his eyes.
Covering his eyes with one hand, as if that could spare him having to see those images again, ZaiWin took a deep breath and tried to calm down. His daitai were wild and aggressive enough as they were. Losing his temper would only make him lose control over them. Another thing he'd rather die than allow to happen again.
Another deep breath and he could finally release the tension that had filled his entire body.
Lowering his gaze, he looked at the boy. If he had had any doubts now there were none left. And yes, he understood what ZenTar had told him, that the boy could hardly be blamed, that he probably didn't know any better, that he was innocent. But, even so, he couldn't be allowed to live. And not only for his sake. It wasn't as if he felt particularly attached to his present life. But there were many, many other lives depending of him, lives that would be certainly lost if that boy were allowed to live, lives that he had sworn to protect. He'd try and do things ZenTar's way. Try and find a way to kill him without risking his own life. But, if that didn't work, then so be it. They would die together and be done with it. Whatever the case the damn brat had to die and the soon the better.
"Brat! Get up! Let's go back," he ordered and the boy jumped, startled, but still did his best to obey him. He had really scared the poor bastard, he thought, seeing as his scrawny legs shook, his shoulders trembling. Well, the damn brat had also scared him, so they were kind of even. And then he noticed his bare feet. "Stupid brat! Why do you walk around with no shoes on? I'm certain ZenTar provided something adequate for you."
Snow blinked his tears away and wiped his face and eyes on his sleeve again. The bright light still stung his eyes but not all his tears were because of that.
"Are you deaf?"
He shook his head and cringed, as if expecting to be smacked, before he answered.
"No …"
"What about the shoes?"
"Too big …" he whispered back, not daring to speak louder than that.
"Why didn't you say so before? Do you want to throw the healer's job out of the window?" Snow quickly shook his head. "Speak, you damn brat! I swear! I'll hit you every time you nod or shake your head!" he growled and Snow took a step back.
"No," he quickly replied, his toes burying nervously into the dirt beneath his feet. The monster sighed impatiently.
"How old are you, brat?" he asked, changing the subject, and Snow was about to shake his head when he stopped himself, his neck going rigid.
"Don't know …"
"Do you know how long you were kept in Weiin? Were you born there?"
"No," he replied.
From all the memories that remained lost amongst the hazy, white mist, Sand's gentle face was something Snow would never forget, that he'd never allow himself to forget. Only her memory had granted him some measure of comfort within his agony.
"Do you know where you were born?"
"No," he replied again and the darkness that surrounded the monster became more agitated. He was getting angry again, he knew, and so he quickly searched for something that might temper his anger. "It was a house … big house. A big room, too," he whispered trying to put together bits and pieces of memories. "There was a garden with water. A warm fire. It was really warm …" Especially when compared to the deep, biting cold that had came afterwords, he thought peering fearfully at the monster, hoping his answer had been enough to appease him. Within his memories the sound of screams echoed in his head and the smell of blood filled his mouth and nose, but that he didn't tell him.
"So ZenTar was right. You were probably born to some minor Clan. Only Clan houses are that big. And no Noble House would dare try and hide your existence." Snow lowered his gaze. Had they tried to hide him? Why? Somehow it didn't feel like that at all. Sand yes, Sand had tried to keep him safe, to protect him, even though she had been the one in needed of protection. "Well, no matter. We'll get to the bottom of it sooner or later," the monster declared with a deep breath. "Come on. Let's go back. And try not to cut your feet!" he warned in what sounded more like a threat, and Snow quickly obeyed, still wiping his burning eyes. However, no matter how blurry his vision got, there was no way he could lose that dark monster from sight. "We'll be leaving the Fortress in a few days. You'll be coming with us," the monster informed him without even turning back to make sure he kept following him. "Outside there are a few rules you mush follow no matter what. One. Erase those foolish ideas about running away from your head. You won't be able to hide from me. No matter where you may think to run away to, I will still find you. Having to waste time looking for you will only piss me off. And you don't want to pissed me off!"
Snow swallowed dry and, after what had just happened, couldn't help agree.
"Two. If you don't want what happen before to happen again, unless I say so, keep as far away from other people as possible. And that includes the other men in our group. If you need anything, if you see something, whatever it is, talk only to me or ZenTar. Hopefully I'll be able to restrain myself and not kill him."
Snow wiped some more tears. It wasn't as if he wanted to get close to anyone anyway, he grumbled in his thoughts. In fact, all he wanted, was to get as far away as possible from all of them.
"Three. Never show your bare back to anyone unless I say so. So be sure to be careful when dressing and undressing yourself," he went on, which made Snow frown in confusion.
Up till now he'd been naked in front of many people and nothing had ever happened. Sure, when he'd been tied to that bed, he had always laid on his back. But in that cell he'd been completely naked and he was sure the Lord and the other men that had cleaned him had seen his back. And what could be so special about it anyways?
"Four. Whatever happens, never, ever scream like that again!" he commanded, this time stopping to look back, his blue eyes hard and serious, and Snow couldn't help frown, confused again. Hadn't he just threatened to kill him if he didn't scream? "You're clearly unable to control it, right? That red array. That's the only reason why I didn't kill you where you stood, back then," he added with obvious regret. "So you need to understand this. No matter who it is, women, children even, whoever is standing inside that red area will die. People that haven't done anything to you, people that you don't even know, everyone will die. And there's nothing that anyone, not even me, can do about it. If you scream like that again, if you activate that red array again, I will kill you where you stand. Do you understand?" the monster asked, his voice as firm and cold as his eyes, and Snow nodded before quickly answering.
"I understand."
Nox ZaiWin faced those pale, serious eyes for a moment, before turning around and resuming walking down the hill. If he didn't know any better he'd actually believe all that crap about how Celestials abhorred death and killing. Looking into the kid's tearful eyes he had almost felt as if what he had meant as a threat had actually been received as a good thing.
They were almost back to the Fortress' gates when the soft sound of the footsteps following him suddenly ceased.
"What?" he asked, impatiently, turning back again to look at him. If the damn brat was about to throw a tantrum saying stupid things like he didn't want to go back, he was going to spank him blind. As to be expected the stupid brat was just standing there, blinking under the sun, looking at the Fortress with a scared expression on his face. "Need me to drag you inside?"
Snow shook his head and took a trembling hand to his naked, reddened, neck.
"Collar …" he whispered and the blue eyes glaring angrily at him seemed kind of confused.
"You want me to put the qinrien back on you?" Snow quickly nodded with a hopeful expression on his face. "Sorry. Not going to happen. You won't be able to walk around outside wearing it. It would attract too much attention. Only slaves and prisoners are bound by them. And since slavery is illegal I can't be seen walking around with a brat like you wearing one. In the same way, since we'll be traveling undercover, there's no way that we could be dragging a prisoner around. Something like that would only attract unwanted attention."
"But …" he urgently tried to argue, the words forming in his mind but unable to make their way to his mouth.
"But nothing! You're not a child. They're your markings! Learn to control them!"
Snow shut his mouth firmly and lowered his gaze, the frown marking his forehead deepening.
"Let's go."