"Preposterous!" Fudge shouted loudly, relaying his thoughts about Harry's demands quite clearly "out of the question!"
"Are you out of your mind Harry?!" his friend questioned, looking to Fudge warily; Harry figured that Archie didn't think he had this situation under control.
"It won't do any good, my boy," Dumbledore, referring to Sirius no doubt, put in his opinion with a quick sideways glance at Sirius' cell.
"Harry . . ." Remus began, the pain those memories brought back to the werewolf almost made Harry feel guilty about bringing it up "you know how I feel about you talking about that man . . ."
"First, you have no choice in the matter minister – either you accept my demands along with the stipulations that are tied with them, or you'll be enjoying the same hospitality you have seen fit to show me this past month," he grinned before motioning to Dumbledore "I'm sure his 'Chief Mugwumpiness' over there can attest to that, should my evidence prove what I say it proves," Dumbledore gave a quick nod to Fudge at Harry's unasked question, a grin barely visible behind his beard at how he was addressed "And Moony, I don't think you should talk about 'that man', as you so eloquently put it, as if he weren't in the room" Remus looked to the only other cell in the room housing a prisoner with shock, as its occupant, who was currently seated against the far wall, raised his skeletal and dirty head to lock eyes with Remus.
Recognizing those grey eyes anywhere, despite the fact that where they were once always full of life, they were now dull, Remus was immediately on guard.
"Your demands are unreasonable, how do I even know you're not lying?!" Fudge, who was getting agitated, hollered.
"Cornelius, even if I don't possess any such proof of your crimes, your reaction to its possible existence casts more than enough doubt on yourself to warrant a full questioning under Veritaserum before the Wizengamot – you have no choice in the matter" he reminded the quickly angering man. Fudge looked to Dumbledore to see if this was true, and to his dismay, the wizened old wizard nodded in affirmation.
Fudge quickly went over Harry's proposal in his head. There was no way he could pay the brat off with Ministry funds, or his own cash; the boy, too, had to know this. It was clearly a demand made to Lucius more than himself. Should the boy go to the media with his case, with how he was unlawfully imprisoned and treated, not only would he find himself out of a job, he's probably get thrown in here too, as well as Lucius, for an extended stay. Then there was Black's trial, even if he was found innocent, it wouldn't affect him politically as it was Crouch who carted him off to Azkaban without a Veritaserum testimony.
"What assurances do I have that you won't go to the media anyway, even if I get you the money?" Fudge demanded, much to the shock of the people in the room who never expected him to even consider it.
"I, Harry James Potter, do swear by my life and magic that should Cornelius Oswald Fudge adhere to the terms we have agreed upon, that I will not in any way, shape or form release the story of my unlawful imprisonment and treatment to anyone whose possession of such knowledge would be detrimental to Cornelius Oswald Fudge," he recited as he stuck his hand out through the bar for a hand shake "and should Cornelius Oswald Fudge ever again in the future make an unlawful attempt to cause me harm, defame or imprison me, I will be free of this oath and within my rights to act in any manner I see fit in retaliation he finished with his lengthy and well thought out oath.
"Wow," Archie said, clearly impressed "thought that through much?"
"I had three and a half weeks" Harry answered, sending his friend a grin.
Fudge played over the oath again in his mind, and though he was loathe giving up on the ability to plot against him again in the future, at least he'd remain in office, where he could stay out of the brat's way and vice-versa. However, there was still the beautiful fact that he had already snapped the brat's wand, whatever threat he could have been had been completely destroyed by that action alone.
"So mote it be" Fudge agreed with a smug grin to the terms of the oath and sealed the deal by accepting Harry's handshake.
"Splendid," he replied dryly "Professor Dumbledore, if you will?" Harry motioned towards the still locked door "I do hope one of you had the forethought to bring me some clothing."
Remus sent another hate-filled glare towards Fudge, who shifted nervously under his scrutiny, before Remus handed Harry a bag with an outfit within.
When Harry had finished getting dressed and was out of his cell, he turned to Archie with a grin.
"Archades, my effects, if you will" he held out his hand expectantly as his friend grinned right back.
"Figured you'd want it back" he answered, and to Fudge's shock, Archie handed Harry his perfectly intact wand.
"What . . . but I . . . it's not possible . . . what was . . . ?" Harry looked to Fudge with a smug smirk.
"You didn't really think I'd let you snap my wand, did you?"
"Headmaster, if you'd release Mister Black from his cell, we can take him to the head of the DMLE for a questioning under Veritaserum, under your supervision" he motioned towards Sirius' cell.
"Harry, you don't know what you're doing, he betrayed your parents! He betrayed his friends! It's because of him your mother is the way she is!" Remus tried to dissuade him of this course of action.
"You really have so little faith in me?" he asked with a raised brow "and why do you care? All he's getting right now is a full questioning under Veritaserum, something he wasn't awarded before, and if you're right, he'll come right back and we can forget all about this," he pointed to Sirius' cell behind them "but if you're wrong, you get your once best friend back and someone who can beat the crap out of you for betraying him and wanting to bone Nymphadora!"
Still in shock at being informed that his old friend wasn't allowed the right to be tried under Veritaserum, he was barely able to come up with a reply.
"I didn't know . . . I didn't betray him . . . I thought he betrayed us!" he protested weakly while Harry and Archie grinned.
"Hear that Sirius? He didn't deny wanting to bone Nymphadora!" he yelled down the corridor Sirius was being lead out of the prison from, his voice echoed loudly against the stone walls "Shame on the cradle robber!"
"Shame!" Archie yelled in agreement, feeling much better to see his friend on the other side of those horribly rusted prison bars.
Sirius let out a bark of raspy laughter as Dumbledore led him away with Fudge under careful supervision, leaving a highly embarrassed Remus and an amused pair of Ravenclaws.
"You did what?!" Lucius Malfoy hissed angrily at the idiot of a Minister he had in his pocket.
"You heard me Lucius, it was either that, or to Azkaban with the both of us" Fudge defended his decision "and you can forget about me helping you with any of your ridiculous plans for Potter again in the future, I have my job to protect."
"Ah, yes, the oath you made," Malfoy narrowed his eyes "the plan was fine, it was your pathetic showing at the prison that let the boy manipulate you, what kind of Politician are you?!"
"One that could do absolutely nothing when the boy had the law on his side and the Chief Mugwump standing right there, ready to assist if necessary" Fudge sighed "I don't know why you're so upset, had his charges stuck, you would be rotting away in Azkaban right beside me, and no amount of money would have bought you out of that mess . . ."
"Don't be so sure," Malfoy hissed with a deadly edge to his voice "every bit of money the brat is able to attain makes him all the more powerful, and with the way he uses it, it will be no time at all before the Potter vaults will compare to the Malfoy ones . . ."
"Hardly Lucius, the Malfoy vaults house over a billion galleons, while the Potter one couldn't be more than fifty million . . ." Fudge reasoned.
"Let's forget that you somehow know how much galleons I possess for the moment Cornelius and actually think for a moment," Lucius snapped, as Fudge shifted uncomfortably "with that ridiculous oath that you made, Potter has become untouchable less he commits a crime, which I don't see happening any time soon . . ."
"I think it's time you leave Lucius, I've had enough of your scheming," Fudge snapped "Twice, I've gone up against Potter and twice he has come out, not only on top, but far better off than before, and while I appreciate your generous donations to the Ministry, I'm not going to prison or getting fired over a brat who will now stay out of my way if I stay out of his!"
"You are making a mistake, Cornelius," Malfoy's tone had become a whole lot colder "granted, it seems Potter has manipulated both situations in a way in which he would come out on top in the end regardless, but that is merely because we underestimated his resourcefulness, if only we . . ."
"Aurors!" Fudge yelled, getting tired of Lucius' ego not being able to take a hit "remove this man from my office."
The two summoned Aurors went to grab Malfoy by the arm, but the man merely shrugged off their grips and walked out on his own with a scowl on his face – Fudge would pay for this betrayal!
"Why is it just . . .?" Sirius began to ask before collapsing into a coughing fit. He may have given his voice some exercise over the past month with Harry being in Azkaban with him, but that wasn't enough to heal a decade of disuse.
"Drink this, Mister Black, it will help" Amelia Bones, the head of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement, offered him a glass of water, which did little to actually help but it was better than nothing.
"Thank you" he said as he eyed the three familiar faces and one stranger in the room. A tall, black Auror by the name of Kingsley Shacklebolt stood with a hand on his wand holster behind Sirius beside Dumbledore. The two had escorted Sirius from Azkaban to make sure this questioning took place in the interests of justice. The stranger in the room was the Ministry supplied Potions brewer – he was there to administer the Veritaserum for this questioning.
"Why is it just us five?" Sirius asked, wondering why so few people were present.
"This isn't exactly a trial, Mister Black," Bones began to answer "all we are going to be conducting is a questioning under Veritaserum, for that we only need the Potion, myself, and your escorts present – rest assured that if you really are innocent, you need no other people present" the woman answered, to Sirius, she had always seemed to be a strict, yet fair woman, so he felt safe knowing that.
"Administer the truth serum" Dumbledore told the young man, who merely nodded, tilted Sirius' head back and applied three drops of the translucent liquid to his tongue.
Sirius' eyes glazed over as the effects took place "What is your name?" Dumbledore asked, wanting to see if the serum was working. A little push on his mind with Legilimency was also administered to make sure he hadn't resisted its effects.
"Sirius Orion Black" his voice came out in monotone, everything looked okay.
"Were you the secret keeper for the property under the Fidelius Charm known as Godric's Hollow?" Dumbledore went straight to it, only wanting to know if Sirius was innocent of his crimes at the moment, if he was, he could be questioned later on under normal pretences of what actually happened.
"No" that simple answer shocked the occupants of the room into silence.
"Did you betray James and Lily Potter?" Bones asked, Sirius didn't hesitate when he answered.
"Yes" the answer, no doubt, caused a high amount of confusion until Dumbledore stepped in.
"Perhaps the question was a bit too vague," he mused "How did you betray James and Lily Potter?"
Sirius hesitated for a brief moment before answering "I peeked on Lily in the shower on seven separate occasions after James strictly told me I couldn't, and I convinced them to use Peter Pettigrew to be the secret keeper of their home."
Bones frowned angrily at the admission Sirius gave to being a pervert while Kingsley coughed into his hand to hide his amusement, despite the serious situation.
Dumbledore, seeing how Sirius could think he betrayed the Potters by making Pettigrew the secret keeper, moved on with his questioning.
"Did you knowingly betray James and Lily Potter to any of Lord Voldemort's followers?" he asked gently, ignoring the wince that went throughout the room at the mentioning of the dark lord's name.
"No" he answered truthfully.
"Did you kill the thirteen muggles you were accused of killing the night of your arrest?" Kingsley questioned this time, reminding the others of his other crimes.
"No."
"Who did kill them then, and how?" Bones asked this time.
"Peter Pettigrew killed them with an overpowered Reductor curse" the people in the room were shocked into silence once again.
"Peter Pettigrew is dead" silence met Dumbledore's statement, as he admonished himself for being forgetful at a time like this; he rephrased the statement so that it was a question "Is Peter Pettigrew not dead by your hand?"
"Peter Pettigrew is not dead, to my knowledge" Sirius answered as best he could.
"What happened to Pettigrew after thatnight?" Bones asked.
"Peter, after betraying James, Lily and Harry, killing the muggles, and yelling to the world about my betrayal, cut off his finger with a knife and escaped into the sewer in his rat Animagus form" he answered dutifully, as the people in the room hoped this would be the last time they were shocked.
"Peter Pettigrew is not a registered Animagus" bones muttered as she checked the registry she had in her office "Are you suggesting he is an illegal Animagus?"
"No, I'm telling you he's an illegal Animagus, he learnt it in his fifth year of school" he answered yet again.
"Does that mean you're an Illegal Animagus too?" she asked crossly, not liking law breaking of any kind.
"You do not need to answer that Mister Black," Dumbledore interrupted, right before Sirius was about to answer "he is not charged with being one, so any questioning relating to that topic is unnecessary" his eyes were twinkling merrily as Bones glared at him.
"Do you know of Peter Pettigrew's whereabouts?" Bones asked with a tired sigh, the final question for the night.
"No" he answered once again, as Dumbledore nodded to the Potions expert to administer the antidote.
"Madam, I think it is clear with what we have heard tonight that Mister Black should be cleared of all charges" Dumbledore suggested with a smile, as Sirius sat there in shock while Bones nodded tiredly.
"Sirius Orion Black, as the head of the DMLE, I hereby exonerate you of all your charges and release you back into society," she announced to the teary eyed Sirius "The Ministry will compensate you for your unjust time spent in prison – I believe fifty thousand galleons for each year spent should suffice," she announced to the stunned room tiredly "I will need you to give me a statement of the exact events of that night, but other then that, you're free to go" she smiled at Sirius, as he actually let a few tears fall.
"I'm free?" he asked in disbelief, as Kingsley put a comforting hand on the man's shoulder.
"Yes, Mister Black, as soon as you give me your statement" she confirmed.
"I'm free," he repeated quietly "I can finally see my friends again, play Quidditch, get laid!" he announced cheerfully at the end "so much time wasted, I need to get to know my godson!"
"I'm sure he'd love to get to know you," Dumbledore smiled "maybe," he frowned "most likely" he corrected at the end, ignoring the confused Sirius.
"Doesn't matter, maybe I can teach him some Quidditch moves," he bounced around happily, to the amusement to those in the room "there's nothing like Quidditch to bring a family together, I just hope he's as good as his old man, he'd have to be if he wanted to stand a chance against me!" he let out a guffaw while Dumbledore looked more amused then ever.
"I believe there are some things you need to know about young Mister Potter, Sirius . . ."
Harry whistled appreciatively when he finally arrived at the heart of the Chamber of Secrets and was exposed to the body of the dead Basilisk. He had followed the tunnel from the entrance he knew to exist from Myrtle's bathroom and easily ended up here, though he did have to transfigure a large pile of rubble blocking his way into, strong, supportive columns less the ceiling collapsed on him.
Just as he'd expected, his little tryst in Azkaban did nothing to harm his reputation with the other students in the school, in fact, it probably just increased it. The sob story the Prophet was painting to the Wizarding world about his imprisonment combined with the 'bad-boy' image it supposedly gave him to be an 'ex-con' had the unfortunate affect of only increasing many of the girls' in Hogwarts opinion of him. Had he known this from the start, or added it to his calculations, he'd probably have made Malfoy fork out another thirty million just out of principal.
Ravenclaw had, unsurprisingly, decided it was necessary to throw him a 'welcome back' party in their common room, one that he had no interest in participating in. He figured that he should at least be thankful to them for allowing him the opportunity to sneak out on his own and explore the Chamber of Secrets like he had intended – alone.
Realizing just how many years worth of Christmas presents he had lying on the floor in front of him for Archie, Harry proceeded to dissect and tear apart the Basilisk's body for ingredients before banishing the leftover scraps. While he was cleaning, he also decided to clean up the actual room with a few powerful repairing charms mixed with some impressive transfiguration – the result was that instead of a mouldy, damaged and breaking down secret chamber, he was standing in a less mouldy, slightly less damaged and no longer breaking down secret chamber, a magnificent waste of time.
Harry's reasons for coming down here though had nothing to do with cleaning the chamber, nor salvaging potions ingredients from a legendary serpent, no, he was searching for knowledge, more particularly, the knowledge within Slytherin's hidden library.
"I will lead you to my secrets if you know the true meaning of power . . ." he muttered under his breath while eyeing the massive stature of Salazar Slytherin before him.
It was fortunate that Slytherin had decided to throw him a bone and leave that clue behind in his diary, the very last line in fact, else he was certain he'd never find the information he sought. He figured that the man wanted a way to stop his less . . . intellectually gifted descendants from having access to his life's work, whether he knew that someone not of his bloodline could access it though remains to be seen.
"Ipsa scientia potestas est" he spoke loud and clear to the statue of the founder, reciting the man's favourite quote in Latin hoping, no, knowing it was correct. Harry found it quite amusing that the man who had made the saying famous in the muggle world didn't exist until five hundred years after Slytherin's time.
To his disappointment, Slytherin's stature remained unmoving, which is why he was caught unawares when the floor beneath him glowed a bright green in colour. Gracefully leaping backwards and drawing his wand warily, wondering if this was a trap, he waited patiently for a few moments for the glow to die down.
The glow finally subsided after a few moments, revealing a set of stairs descending into another torch lit corridor. If he ever had a chance to speak to Slytherin, he would have to ask the man what the hell he found so fascinating about damp and dark places.
The corridor itself was lined was lined with torches up until it lead to a rather large set of doors roughly twenty meters ahead of him. What piqued his curiositythough was that this corridor seemed to be in a much better condition than the rest of the chamber previously – from the marble floor, to the large granite columns and even the stone walls, not one bit of it seemed worn or even dirty!
Curious for a place built, and never visited, for a thousand years.
Writing it off as some sort of preservation charm that was lifted when he spoke the password, he slowly made his way down the hall and to the large doors, which automatically opened towards him when he neared them.
He was not ashamed to admit that what met his eyes upon the opening of the large doors surprised him to no end. Instead of a room of stone walls, and perhaps even marble floors like the corridor, there was a nicely furnished library with mahogany furniture, a wooden floor covered by a rug, a fireplace and a large bookshelf next to a desk filled with texts he was itching to read. Above the mantle of the fireplace was a still picture of a younger looking Salazar Slytherin, as the plaque indicated, looking rather handsome in a medieval sort of way.
He only spent a few moments admiring the setup of the room before moving over to the bookshelf. Many of the leather bound tomes were labelled on their spine in Parseltongue, while there were few that remained blank – those ones looked the oldest, judging by the condition of their covers.
He was surprised to find, however, that when he decided to pull out a book labelled 'Advanced Warding and Curse-Breaking Theory Volume One' it wouldn't budge. He frowned before trying another tome, and to his annoyance, he found that no matter which one he tried, none of them would be released by the bookshelf.
"You are not of my bloodline" a voice hissed from behind him, though it sounded more curious than menacing.
Freezing in his tracks and turning around slowly, Harry was met with the sight of a very much awake Salazar Slytherin portrait, one that was not only speaking to him in Parseltongue, but was sitting and stroking the head of a rather small serpent while sitting on a couch in front of a fireplace.
"Well spotted," he complimented "I'd imagine this to be the first time you have been activated then?" he asked, moving closer to the portrait as he spoke seeing as he couldn't take the books anyway.
"You'd do well to show me some respect boy," he said with narrowed eyes "you are, after all, in my private study, seeking the knowledge of my life's work."
"You're a portrait," Harry drawled, not showing any fear to the portrait of the great wizard "while I may have shown the real you respect, I refuse to do so to a magical painting, especially when I, as you said, am not of your bloodline."
The founder looked more amused than angry, though his eyes were still narrowed "Very well, how is it that you, one of Rowena's, has found your way into my most secret sanctum?" he asked with a hiss, refusing to speak English, though given that the man lived a thousand years ago, he figured their ideas of what 'English' was would clash anyway.
"I used your diary, actually" informed Harry, as he took a seat before the portrait, refusing to stand if they were going to have a lengthy conversation.
"And how, pray tell, did it come into your possession?" he asked with a cold edge to his voice "did you kill the rightful owner?"
"I won it from a Goblin actually, in a game of skill," he very much doubted the man knew what Poker was "I imagine one of your descendants bartered it to them for a few sickles, I can assure you he wasn't too pleased to part with it."
"Disgusting creatures," he muttered with distaste "their greed for riches is matched only by the dwarves', at least they got a good price. . ." he mumbled in annoyance, knowing that only a Parseltongue could make use of it anyway.
"Actually, unless the Goblins obtained it closer to your time, it's not a very good price at all," he corrected "this is the year two thousand and five, no doubt inflation has had a major impact on the currency of the Wizarding world – the yearly tuition to attend Hogwarts is around three hundred galleons nowadays, I believe" Harry took a secret pleasure in seeing the shock on Slytherin's face.
"It has taken that long for someone to find me?" he questioned faintly "I knew it was a possibility for another Parseltongue to acquire the diary by unsavoury means, which is why I had Matilda guard the Chamber from anyone not of my blood . . ." Salazar's eyes narrowed dangerously "what have you done with her?!" he demanded angrily, though Harry didn't seem fazed.
"I did nothing but salvage Potions ingredients from her corpse," he found the Basilisk's name to be quite amusing "it was a friend of mine who killed her, a fourth year actually," seeing Slytherin about to explode, he continued on "in his defence, he is the best brewer I know, even compared to our Potions professor, then there's the fact that one of your actual and only remaining descendants was using her to attack and kill students. . ."
Slytherin's eyes widened at that last bit of information "I never expected. . ."
"This is fascinating and all," Harry interrupted "but I have a use for your knowledge regarding the Serpent Staff and healing magics, not to mention the copious amounts of Parselmagic you have written in those tomes, so if you could tell me how to release them, I can be on my way and you can mourn the loss of your dearly beloved Matilda. . ."
"Insolence!" Salazar shouted "What makes you think I'd ever let an impudent whelp like you lay a finger on my life's work?!"
Harry remained silent for a moment, dusting off an imaginary piece of dust from his robes as he pondered. Suddenly, an idea struck him when he recalled a piece of information Lestat had once told him.
"You know, under your descendant's orders," he embellished a bit, though he didn't much care "one of his followers used an unknown curse on my mother when my home was attacked as a child – she has been in a coma ever since," he resisted the urge to grin victoriously when Salazar's eyes became sympathetic "it has almost been a dozen years since she first fell into that coma, the only way I know of how to cure her is with that Serpent Staff. . ."
"What is your relationship with her?" he asked gently, a faraway look in his eyes as if recalling something.
"I was three, when she was taken from me," he figured he could throw the man a bone "I don't remember her well at all, but as any son should for their mother who took a curse for them, I will not stop until she is cured.She fought valiantly against her opponent, decimating her until the witch sent a curse in my direction in her last moments of consciousness."
Salazar remained silent for several long moments, time in which Harry spent admiring the room some more until the man spoke again.
I will let you have access to all of my life's work you see on that wall, mainly because I am honour bound to for my descendant's actions, but I have one condition," he held up his finger while Harry raised a curious brow "You must take this portrait with you, now that I have been awakened, I don't very much fancy remaining in this castle, and especially not in this room. From what you've told me of your mother and the circumstances leading to her condition, it sounds like a very powerful application of accidental magic lead to her condition, and there is only one real cure that I know of in those books that would help with that," Harry's eyes lit up with excitement for the first time since he could remember ". . . and that potion will require you to travel the world, no doubt, especially since you will need the staff itself."
"So you want out so you can see the world? You know I don't intend on carrying a portrait around with me wherever I go" Harry responded dryly.
Salazar smirked down imperiously at him "I am well aware of that fact, I have ways around such troublesome issues, you need not worry," Harry resisted the urge to assure him that he wasn't "what possible reason do you have to decline? You've obviously believed my work important and valuable enough to come all this way for; how could you having me around not be helpful?"
Harry sighed tiredly and ran a hand through his now long, messy hair before regarding Slytherin again "You will release to me all of the tomes in this room?" he hissed out, wanting to make sure he wasn't being swindled.
"Of course, I have no further use for them" Slytherin agreed with a shrug "And it also seems my descendant is far less worthy of such an honour, especially if he or she attacked students in this school using Matilda – disgusting!"
"Then we have an accord," Harry frowned before lifting the canvas off the wall and placing him closer to the shelf of tomes, on a chair.
"Are these sorted in any particular way?" Harry asked curiously as he waited for the go-ahead to be able to take them as his own.
"Chronologically," Salazar mumbled as he looked over the books "the books are released from their hold, I control whether they can be released or not – another fail safe, if you will. . ."
Frowning some, Harry pulled out his trunk from his pocket and enlarged it. He opened the heavy, leather bound lid and revealed a compartment within which housed all of his rarer tomes.
"Big Mac" Harry hissed to the animated serpent lock, who allowed the draw to be opened when the password was uttered.
"What in Aesculapius' name are you talking about?" Salazar frowned while Harry snorted in amusement at his new companion's use of name.
"It's a twenty-first century muggle thing – you wouldn't understand"he automatically answered before standing and looking at the bookshelf with a frown.
"Let's see if this works . . ." with a mere wave of his hand, he willed his magic like he learned to do in Azkaban with the help of his Occlumency exercises to pack the books from the shelf into his trunk in the same order.
Salazar watched silently with a raised eyebrow at the boy's impressive feat of wielding magic in its purest form. He himself had been nineteen when he first discovered a way to manipulate magic in its purest and wildest form.
Harry shrugged slightly when all the books were packed, it wasn't too great of a skill, it left him more tired than usual after use and had no practical uses in combat; he supposed it was a nice party trick though.
"I think we will have an interesting relationship lad, I never got your name . . ." Salazar looked on thoughtfully with his arms crossed.
"Harry Potter, I'm shrinking you and putting you in my trunk or else I wouldn't get three steps outside of this place without you being confiscated and probably mounted on the headmaster's wall" seeing no need to object, Salazar didn't complain when Harry shrunk his portrait and placed him in the dark trunk before closing it.
This would be interesting indeed.
Archie looked to his friend with concern. Harry could hide it rather well, but when you've been around someone for a certain period of time, you start to notice things about them, like how Harry always moved with a cat-like grace and his eyes always shone a bright green, regardless of his mood.
Now though, ever since being released from Azkaban, Archie had noticed Harry's movements and mannerisms had become slightly more sluggish while his eyes had dulled considerably, small bags under them implying that he had trouble sleeping.
It wasn't anything major at first glance, but Archie could notice it just the same.
"You guys want anything from the cart?" Archie asked Cedric and Harry, who were sitting in the same compartment as him on the Hogwarts express "It's on me."
"On you?" Harry asked dubiously "I know you have a job now, but that doesn't mean you should go splurging your money for no reason . . ."
"This isn't money I got from working at MoonyNights," Archie assured as Cedric grabbed a few chocolate frogs from the cart "the party you mysteriously disappeared from last night proved to be rather profitable," he elaborated with a perverted grin.
"How so?" Cedric nodded politely to the woman with the food cart as she left their compartment.
"I was wondering how long it'd take you to start capitalizing on that" Harry mumbled under his breath.
"Contraceptive potions, Ced, my man," Archie elaborated while Cedric choked on his chocolate. The boy quickly vanished the offensive piece of candy from his throat with a wave of his wand.
"People do stuff like that in your house?" he asked incredulously while Harry and Archie looked at him as if he were crazy.
"Don't be so Naïve Ced, it happens in every house," Archie replied with a grin "and you'd be surprised how much people would be willing to pay for the potion, it's a lot safer than the charm."
"How much do you sell each one for then?" Harry asked curiously.
"Five galleons a potion and it lasts for twenty-four hours," he said with pride "I also have a one hundred percent, money-back guarantee should it fail, as well as the option to sue the shit out of me if it doesn't work" he said with a nervous chuckle.
"You have that much faith in your potions?" Cedric asked incredulously while Harry was crunching numbers in his head "If they screw up, you could end up living on the streets" he warned cautiously.
"Don't worry about that little badger, I never screw up a potion, especially one as easy as this" he reassured his concerned friend.
"From memory, the cost of the ingredients for the contraceptive potion is only a few sickles, right?" Harry suddenly asked Archie curiously.
"Yeah, two sickles usually if I buy them in bulk" he explained as Cedric looked on in shock while Harry only chuckled.
"Very clever of you Archades, that's like a forty two hundred percent mark-up," Harry complimented, while Archie and Cedric looked on in confusion "I'm assuming you import your ingredients from that place in Germany also?"
"Yeah, they're the cheapest for the ingredients I want . . . I don't like that look in your eyes Harry" Archie suddenly added warily.
"Do shut-up, out of all the people you know of to trust with money, who would you put at the top of that list?" Harry snapped back.
"I don't see how you'd qualify . . ." Archie said with a frown.
"You don't?" Harry asked incredulously "When I first started out investing and making money, the Potter vault only had around five million galleons in it," Cedric and Archie gave each other incredulous looks, the message was clear, 'Only?!' "Now, with my investments in various businesses, playing for England, that poker game's winnings and now the money to keep my mouth shut from Malfoy about their little screw up, do you have any idea how much money I have now?"
Cedric and Archie just looked at him with lost expressions, causing Harry to groan in annoyance.
"Last I checked my bank statement, it is somewhere in the vicinity of ninety million galleons," he only rolled his eyes when Cedric and Archie's expressions varied through different degrees of shock.
"Now that I've proven my point, what you want to do is market your potions to the entire school, not just Ravenclaw house," he began while Archie and Cedric listened intently, the latter because he had never really heard one of Harry's schemes before in person "selling them won't really be a problem with teenage hormones, they already screw like rabbits anyway, your potion will just make them feel safer about it . . ."
"I was already considering it . . ." Archie began but was cut off by Harry once again.
"I know you were, which is why you're an idiot," as subtle as ever, Harry was.
Cedric frowned "Didn't you just say . . ."
"I know what I said, but there are problems with that, the main one being that his potion," he pointed to Archie "will just encourage kids to have sex, probably at younger ages too, which is pretty disgusting in my opinion considering I've heard about kids as young as twelve being intimate in one way or another in some houses, but I digress," he said, seeing Archie's worried look "it's really no problem because his potion gives a one hundred percent assurance that there will be no pregnancy, as long as he brewed it right – which we all now know it is," he added, glaring at Archie who puffed up in indignation "so, your only problem is parents and teachers who disapprove of their children or students going at it like horny rabbits at such a young age, which once again, isn't your fault. The parents and teachers should teach their daughters not to be sluts, but they won't see it that way because its human nature to blame others for your own mistakes," by now Cedric was simply looking at Harry owlishly, never having heard him speak so much at once before while Archie was listening intently – it made sense!
"The only way around that problem is for you to stop selling the potion under your name, setting up a dummy business with a false owner to do so instead, which shouldn't be much of a problem for you because I rather doubt you want to be known for selling guilt-free sex potions anyway."
"People will still link it back to me if I mysteriously stop selling them and someone else comes on the market to do so instead," Archie frowned while Harry nodded at his point.
"A fine point, but you won't stop selling your contraceptive potions immediately, rather, you'll wait for 'Practical Potions' to knock you out of the market," he pointed out while Archie's eyes lit up.
"I can also set up an owl ordering system, so that would make selling to other houses pretty easy, I already have plenty of money from working at Moony Nights to buy some . . ."
"Indeed, but you'll want to undercut your own price a bit by a few sickles too, which won't really matter much considering you'll be selling that many more potions anyway" he pointed out.
"Yeah, and that contraceptive potion thing was just a spur of the moment idea, I can make so much more to sell, like Zit-curers, Hickey-menders, mild truth serums, and even some Felix Felicis!" Archie pointed out with excitement.
Harry did a double take when the last one was mentioned "You can make Felix Felicis?" he asked.
"Oh yeah, he can make elixirs too!" Cedric pointed out while Archie flushed in embarrassment under Harry's scrutiny.
"I may have dabbled in a little Alchemy and advanced potions . . ." he mumbled under his breath.
"You know, I'm not too bad at brewing myself if you give me the instructions," Cedric added "I imagine if you get more help, you could even send some catalogues to other school on the continent, I guess I can chip in and buy some more owls too to help for those deliveries . . ."
Archie's eyes lit up with excitement "And I won't even have to quit my job at Moony Nights, I can just ask Remus to work nights from now on and brew during the day!" he pointed to Harry "that bum won't help because he's always busy with Quidditch or learning his own thing, but we might be able to hire a few house elves if someone was able to purchase us some . . ." Archie not so discreetly motioned to Harry.
"I'll want twenty percent of all profits" he offered immediately, knowing a good idea when he saw one.
"Ten," Archie counter argued "you won't even be helping with the brewing and that's going to be the toughest part!"
"House elves aren't exactly cheap, and you'll be using my premises to do you brewing anyway, fifteen" he counter offered.
"Twelve percent and you'll have the right to ask me to brew any potion for you, free of charge, even if, 'Practical Potions' doesn't sell it," seeing Harry still looking rather dubious, he sweetened the deal "and I won't even bitch to you about Stephanie being gone again!"
"Deal" Harry agreed immediately, that was definitely a good bargain.
"This is so awesome!" Archie bounced with excitement "I know where to pretty much get every ingredient we'll need at the cheapest prices! And if we buy them in bulk, we'll get awesome discounts; hey Cedric, you know where Moony Nights is, yeah?"
"I know where it is, I've never been though," he conceded "my dad will be pleased to know that I have a job, he's been hounding me to get a summer job for a while now . . ."
"It'd be best not to tell him you're helping Archie brew potions," Harry pointed out "we don't want to leave any paper trails so we can be hassled for monopolizing the market, or be hounded by annoyed parents, tell him you'll be working at Moony Nights as a waiter like Archie, that way you'll have a reason to stay and brew whenever you want."
"That's right, you both live there yeah?" Cedric suddenly remembered.
"Yeah, but I hardly ever see him there anyway unless its meal time," Archie shrugged "he's pretty much busy all the time and keeps himself locked in his room, oh wait, I did see him go clothes shopping once last year!" he joked as Harry yawned.
"How else do you think I'd have become a father of thirty-four?" he responded dryly, "I have to actually spend time in the bedroom for that to happen" Cedric and Archie both laughed at his expense.
Harry figured that this summer break would be somewhat more eventful than the last, especially with Nymphadora popping around all the time, a new business to start up, a small library of information to read through, a godfather who will no doubt want to get to know him, Quidditch practise, World cup qualifiers, a vampire to thank and a thousand year old wizard's portrait to interrogate – he definitely wouldn't have much free time on his hands . . .
Harry and Archie bid Cedric farewell at King's Cross, the latter meeting his parents while the former just skipped passed the awed whispers, finger pointing and diehard fan girls King's Cross had to offer.
"What in Merlin's name?" Archie looked on with amusement when he saw an extremely large billboard outside of King's Cross station with the new 'Coca-Cola' add playing on it. What he found amusing about it though was that it had Harry, in a very tight set of hot pants, exiting the water of a beach and taking a long swig of a bottle of coke, there was a voice speaking in the background of the add saying something about even Quidditch stars and drinking coke.
"I get paid a lot of money for that," Harry answered the unasked question, moving as quickly as possible so he wouldn't see the other school girls' reaction to seeing that particular billboard advertisement.
"Why would they put it in the middle of muggle London though? I doubt they know what Quidditch is . . ." Archie asked as he followed behind Harry quickly until they found a taxi and got inside.
"Robertson's road please," Harry requested of the driver "the billboard is charmed to show something different for muggles, Steven Gerrard I believe."
"And who's that?"
"A football player for Liverpool," Harry didn't feel like explaining more "so, are you really going to take this brewing business seriously? Because if you're not, I really don't want to waste my time and money . . ."
"No, no, I am, don't worry," he assured "I've been mooching off of the Zabinis for long enough, I think it's about time I make my own way in the world, you know?"
"Is that why you got a job at Moony Nights then?" he asked curiously.
"Mainly," he answered vaguely, Harry figured there may have been more to it, but couldn't be bothered figuring it out "so where are you going to buy House Elves from? They don't just have shops on Diagon Alley or something, do they?"
"No," he answered "they don't – you need to go to the Ministry and apply for ownership, obviously some galleons will speed up the process a fair bit."
"Seems like slave labour though, doesn't it?" Archie asked with a frown "we don't even have to pay off the little buggers and they're the best workers anyone could ever need . . ."
Harry shrugged "True enough, but if you treat them well and act like their friends instead of their masters, they'll work harder for you," he answered "most people don't get that, so they just treat them like slaves. You know how much of the cooking Lizzy does for Moony Nights, right?"
Archie snorted "Yeah, like all of it," he quipped with amusement "how many do you plan on getting? We could literally hit every school up on the continent with catalogues by the end of summer, and by that time, I'd have brewed up a massive stockpile of whatever we want to sell . . ."
Harry hummed thoughtfully, this really was brilliant idea. Archie's skills at brewing didn't only restrict him to brewing difficult potions, it also allowed him to brew and prepare ingredients at a freaky pace, faster than he ever could. That thought just reminded him of the birthday present he had in mind for the boy as a thank-you for helping him out with all that Azkaban rubbish.
"I'll probably only get two, any more is overkill," Harry informed "if the demand becomes greater than the speed at which you can supply, I doubt I'll need to buy you another one, you'll have the cash to buy your own."
"You really think this will be that successful?" Archie asked doubtfully.
"Archades," he began patiently "you know where to get nearly every marketable ingredient in existence for the lowest price possible, add that with the fact that the demand for potions like these are ridiculously high, you could literally charge whatever you like as long as your customers are willing to pay – all you have to worry about is paying Cedric."
"This is so exciting," Archie jumped in his seat, glad that Harry had put a notice-me-not charm on the back seat of the taxi else they would have been breaking numerous secrecy laws "I'm starting my own business, and all I need to do is do something I already love doing!"
"Hn," Harry would never admit it out loud, but he was happy for his friend.
"Harry!" a voice called from the kitchen "What took you so damn long?!"
"Seeing as your lazy ass couldn't pick us up from the station, Archades and I decided to walk around Knockturn Alley for a bit to pass the time," Harry really had no idea why the two of them did this, it wasn't like his time was something he could waste easily.
"Whatever, come out back!" Remus' voice called through the doors. The request kind of confused him seeing as the place looked of full at the moment, families eating together after reuniting after a year of school, Goblins after a day of work, the werewolves who lived here eating their dinner just to name a few.
Nodding a greeting to Lizzy, who was manning the bar while Remus was currently indisposed; Harry pushed through the door into the kitchen and then exited the building through the back to see a few people he didn't expect to see so soon.
Sitting on a motorbike that looked like it was made in the late eighties was none other than a still somewhat skeletal looking Sirius Black while Remus was sitting on his 'break time' chair with none other than Nymphadora Tonks on his lap.
"What is that?" he asked with a curious tone, while Archie just gaped at the seemingly new couple.
Sirius, who was wiping his bike down proudly hopped off of it and cleared his throat "This, my estranged godson, is my baby," Sirius introduced "her name's 'Delilah' and she's a 1986 Harley-Davidson XLH 1100, but that's not all!"
Remus was frowning at the fact Harry was ignoring him, or more importantly ignoring just who was sitting on his lap; he had been waiting to see that little brat's reaction to this for months!
"Good to see you again Tonks!" Archie greeted Tonks with a grin, he had seen her around Harry and had said a few words to her at school, but that was ages ago "You look comfortable," he commented with a little grin.
"Charmed, you say?" Harry looked to the bike with interest while Sirius grinned.
"Oh yeah, Delilah runs on magic instead of petrol, she can also fly and she has muggle notice-me-not charms all over her, your dad used to be so jealous of me when I would fly it around!" he grinned "Speaking of which, when were you going to tell me you were an international Quidditch star?! I can barely leave this place without hearing your name being mentioned by at least thirty people in three minutes!"
"Yeah, well, Azkaban and all, I guess it slipped my mind," he replied dryly.
"You still haven't told us your reasoning behind that little stunt," Remus interjected with a frown.
Harry turned to Remus and plastered a look of mock surprise on his features "Nymphadora! When did you get here?"
Sirius was about to warn his godson against using her first name, but figured he's learn better by getting his ass hexed. Imagine his surprise when Harry bent over the moment she fired a spell at him to pick something up off the floor.
"Oh, a Knut, it must be my lucky day . . ." he pocketed said coin.
"He conjured that the second we came out here," Archie mumbled to Remus, who was trying not to laugh at his girlfriend's plight.
"When will you either stop dodging your punishments or stop calling meby my name pipsqueak?!"
"Pipsqueak?" Harry frowned "I distinctly recall you getting a good perv on this pipsqueak's body when you interrupting his workout on Christmas Nymphadora."
Sirius let out a bark of laughter while Archie just sighed and took a seat atop the rubbish bin beside them "He does that with everyone Tonks, he still calls me Archades!"
"He's right, you best get over it," Harry advised as Archie snickered.
Tonks sent another stinging hex at Harry for good measure, hoping to catch him off guard, but to her annoyance, he merely flicked the Knut in his hand in the way of the spell, which caused a small blast of light before redirecting the spell away from him.
"Well, that was just cool," Archie complimented "so, is anyone going to tell me why a well known murderer is sitting on a motorbike over there giggling like a girl and out of Ministry custody?"
"I do not giggle like a girl! It's a manly giggle!" Sirius protested.
"Professor Dumbledore escorted him to the ministry for a questioning under Veritaserum, I believe you already know what happened after that Harry," Remus explained with a smile "we've been catching up ever since, apologizing, reminiscing and showing Pensieve memories . . ."
"Did you give him shit for being a cradle robber?" Harry asked Sirius with a grin, earning a loud noise of protest from Remus and Tonks. Sirius conspiratorially pulled Harry aside with his arm over his shoulder and whispered into his ear loudly.
"I tried, but the more I say it, the more I realize who wears the pants in that relationship – Remus isn't a cradle robber, ickle Dora is just a grave robber."
"That or a gold digger," Archie piped in, ignoring the gaping couple beside them.
"It makes sense, that apron does suit Moony quite a bit," Harry commented offhandedly "you think she uses her powers to, you know, switch the roles a bit?"
"Harry, that's just disgusting," Sirius said with a fake grimace.
"Yeah, I was never a fan of sodomization," Harry agreed sagely.
"That's not an issue, Remus has a completely functional vagina," Archie joked while he and Sirius cracked up laughing; Harry was merely smirking at the fuming couple.
"I love this kid! You say your name is Archie right? I'm Sirius, Sirius Black" the ex-con introduced.
"Pleasure," Archie shook the man's hand "Remus and Tonks' privates aside, what in Merlin's name is that?!" Archie asked, referring to Delilah.
Sirius began giving a lengthy description of what a motorbike was, leaving Remus, Tonks and Harry to watch on in silence.
"Harry, you can joke and avoid the topic all you want, but I can tell your time in Azkaban affected you more than you're letting us know . . ." Remus commented with concern.
"If it's the Dementors affecting me you were worried about, you can rest assured knowing that aside from practically almost freezing me to death, they were pretty much useless."
"Something's off with you Harry, even I notice it," Tonks said with worry while Harry shrugged it off.
"I'm fine, I have a meeting to attend to in a few hours, I'm going to get ready," Harry announced, all traces of humour from his voice gone as he silently made his way back inside.
Tonks gave Remus a worried glance that was reciprocated by the werewolf.
"Don't worry about Harry, he's a strong kid and he knows what he's doing," Remus tried to comfort his girlfriend, knowing how fond she was of the boy "his determination to get things done borderlines recklessness, but he did come out of it twenty million galleons richer . . ." Remus tried to reason, he was shocked however to see that Tonks wasn't surprised by the number at all.
"That place is hell Remus, I've been there as a guest and I couldn't wait to leave the place, imagine staying there for three weeks, let alone ten years . . . Azkaban changes people . . . it wasn't worth it."
The duo watched Sirius explain the functions of a motorbike to an excited Archie, as if he were a toddler showing off his new Christmas present, unable to hide their worry very well even if they tried.
"I'm going out," Harry called as he walked hurriedly down the stairs while swinging a coat over his shoulders.
"It's midnight!" Remus argued, annoyed.
"The people expecting me aren't exactly the type to enjoy the day time very much," Harry deadpanned.
"Oh, you're going to see Lestat?" Remus asked interested "I thought he lived in France?"
"He does, I'm taking the Floo to the International port and then getting a connecting one to his manor, I'm keyed into the wards," he explained.
"Do you have your passport?" Remus could have sworn he saw a hint of a black dragon hide leather vest under Harry's coat . . .
'Wait, aren't they dragon hide pants and boots too?!' he thought, looking at Harry's clothing more closely.
"I do, but I won't need it, I'm kind of a big deal," he said with a grin.
"Is there a reason you're dressed for battle?" Remus asked, with a look in his eyes that clearly stated that he better like the answer he was going to get. Imagine his surprise when Harry suppressed a shiver.
"Have you ever met Lestat's wife?"
"No," Remus answered "does that matter?"
"Pray that you don't," Harry advised "she's a nice enough vamp, but she's come to see me as some sort of illegitimate son over the years, do you have any idea how bad a mother hen with super-human strength is?"
Remus winced in sympathy, thinking of a certain Weasley in particular.
"Are you going to be okay?" he asked with concern.
"I have plan, it should work . . ." he paused on his way to the fireplace with a grimace on his features.
"And should it not?"
"I haven't thought that far ahead yet," Harry confessed.
Harry grabbed a handful of Floo powder from behind the bar and threw it into the fireplace, his destination being France.
Harry appeared in a whirl of flames inside Lestat's manor after having just arrived from the international Floo exchange agency. It was kind of like a customs office in a muggle airport that checked your possessions before you crossed into another country's territory, so that no one could smuggle anything in illegally.
"Harry, how good to see you," Lestat greeted in French, having been alerted by his wards that Harry had arrived.
"Likewise,"he replied in kind, using his wand to magic the soot off of his clothes"they didn't even ask for my passport at the exchange" he commented with a smirk.
"Not surprising, have you eaten?" he led Harry through his large house after he was done cleaning himself.
"No, not yet, but something smells good," he complimented "how did the conclave go? No troubles I hope?" he asked conversationally.
"You know I can't answer that unless you become one of us, the offer still stands by the way," he grinned while Harry shrugged.
"Lucile is already bad enough as is, and if I let you turn me, she would actually technically be my mother, and no offence meant, but that woman . . ."
Harry stopped dead in his tracks when he saw the evil grin on Lestat's face. Suddenly, he felt a chill run down his spine when someone's cold breath blew against the nape of his neck.
"That woman is what, Harry?" a voice purred in French behind him "Don't stop on my account."
Harry turned slowly and stiffly to come face to face with the ruby red lips of Lucile d'Auvergne. She was looking as beautiful as always, dressed in an elegant, black and skin-tight evening dress that while simple in design, accentuated all her curves and features perfectly. Her violet eyes were peering down at him with amusement and Harry couldn't help but admire her beauty once again, he figured that if he had to spend eternity with someone as his spouse, he too would pick the best looking woman he could find.
One with a great personality . . .
He couldn't stop himself from admiring her wondrous personality as his eyes were locked on Lucile's more than generous sized breasts, barely being constrained by her dress.
Such a wonderful personality . . .
He was interrupted from his less than appropriate thoughts when the millennium old vampire coughed to get his attention, a dangerous glint in her eyes.
"Now that you're done perving Harry, are you going to tell me what you were going to say?" she asked in a throaty and sweet voice that would have lesser men confessing their deepest desires.
"What makes you think you'd be interested?" Harry asked, after regaining his composure "I was merely commenting to Lestat here how lucky he is to have such a strong-willed woman by his side to keep him in check, isn't that right Lestat . . ."
Harry turned to see that his host had mysteriously disappeared.
"Motherfucker . . ."
"Tut, tut Harry, such crude language, now, do you mind telling what that stunt you pulled by allowing yourself to be taken to Azkaban was about?" she asked sweetly, a long and slender finger running down his cheek as she asked "you wouldn't purposefully do something so stupid would you? I'd hate to have to discipline you again . . ." she trailed off, leaving Harry in no doubt that some sort of discipline would be handed out.
Harry had prepared for this though, and he'd be dammed if he let himself be 'disciplined' so easily.
"Blast-Ended Skrewts," Harry interrupted the woman in English as she was advancing on him, Lucile merely looked to him in confusion "Let us not, dear Lucile, forget our dear friends the Blast-Ended Skrewts, revolting little creatures, the lot of them. Let them go unattended for long enough, and they'll explode in your face, messing you up real good, fact of life, isn't it?"
Lucile was torn between pounding Harry into the ground for his stupidity and enveloping him in a huge hug to comfort him – obviously Azkaban had sent him over the edge.
"So yes, I could have found a way around being arrested with the information Lestat and yourself so generously gave me, and then he'd know he has a leak for the next time he plots against me. Not nipping his scheming in the bud and allowing him to come up with another plan to have me rot in Azkaban for the rest of my life sounds rather shitty no matter which way you put it."
Lucile didn't look convinced, but that didn't stop Harry.
"Or we could do what you so naïvely suggested and just kill off the dastardly duo," he had to sidestep quickly as Lucile lunged at him "that would only lead to me being arrested anyway seeing as Fudge would have been known to be 'investigating' me at the time of his death, add to that a Veritaserum interrogation, and we'd have a war between wizards and vampires on our hands! Can we, in fact, ignore that the ministry is filled with bigoted idiots who would never see reason? We cannot.
Res ipsa loquitur, tabula en naufragio, we are left with but one option. I had to, and I can't believe the words are coming out of my mouth, rely on Archades to clear my name for me, thus proving the injustice Fudge was committing legally, getting a shit load of galleons from Malfoy and nipping any further plots in the bud."
Harry let out a sigh of relief when Lucile actually seemed to be pondering his words – his speech actually worked!
"A very well thought out argument Harry, I especially like the Latin reference" she complimented, before her smile turned into a glare as she sauntered over to him "but you deliberately allowed yourself to be held in custody in Azkaban, knowing you could swindle more galleons out of Malfoy that way – for that bit of stupidity, you will be punished."
Well fuck, time for 'Plan B' . . .
Almost quicker than Lucile could follow, Harry slipped his wand into his hand and conjured a cloud of mist to cover his tracks before running for it as if the devil was on his heels, well, she kind of was . . .
"You know that will only delay the inevitable darling," Lucile cooed, her voice seemed to echo off every wall in the house, Harry hated when she did that "you're just getting me excited, you know I love a good hunt . . ."
Lestat waited patiently with a smile on his face in his office as his wife chased Harry around their manor. He's probably be worried if Lucile were chasing anybody else, but he knew she had a soft spot for the boy and only wanted to rough him up a little, he kind of deserved it anyway.
This whole mess with Lucile's twisted motherly affections for the Quidditch star began the very first time Harry had graced their manor with his presence, several months before the big Poker game at Gringotts to discuss the possibility of obtaining Slytherin's diary. Harry had, somewhat reluctantly, informed his beloved wife his reasoning behind his actions and about his mother's condition.
Perhaps it was the fact that they'd never had children, or maybe because she was feeling somewhat hormonal at the time, but something about his story caused Lucile's 'motherly' senses to go into overdrive. She'd begun treating him like her child ever since, well, sort of, if you consider smothering him with hugs and kisses when he visited or hunting him around their manor when he did something stupid.
He had never thought Lucile would have had reason to be more pissed off than when Harry had pulled off a rather daring stunt in his game against Burkina Faso – he was wrong.
It always did provide him with an infinite sense of amusement to see Harry try and swindle his way out of her affections, or disciplinary actions though.
Good times.
He was rudely interrupted from his thoughts when Harry came bursting through the door, looking all sweaty and panicked.
"Hide me!" he hissed when his eyes fell on Lestat.
"Oh Harry, come out come out wherever you are . . ." a chilling voice echoed from all around them.
Lestat raised an amused eyebrow when Harry dived behind him, hoping to use himas a human shield.
The doors suddenly opened slowly and deliberately, allowing Lucile entrance, who looked like she had just been strolling casually around the manor for the past half an hour. The deadly look in her eyes, however, promised pain to her target, he wondered what Harry could have done to warrant such a thing this time.
"Something the matter dear?" Lestat asked while trying to keep a smirk off his face.
"You'd best move out of the way, my love, I need to teach that little pervert some manners," Lucile instructed her husband in her throaty voice.
"Pervert?" the vampire inquired with interest.
"I most certainly am not," Harry leapt up from his hiding place with indignation written on his features "it's her fault for smothering me with her massive boobs! I just tried to breathe!" he argued futilely "complications ensued, and hence, were overcome!"
"You still licked my breast Harry, and that right is reserved only for my husband," she admonished with a wicked grin "isn't that right, my love?"
"I'm afraid she has a point Harry," Lestat agreed "did you at least enjoy it?"
Harry just glared at Lestat with slightly pink cheeks "That is hardly relevant, you traitor!"
"Sticks and stones," Lestat waved off "Come Lucile, that is the closest you'll ever get to breast feeding young Harry, you should be overjoyed; now, shall we move this show onto the dining hall?" he grinned at his wife's overjoyed expression "I am rather famished."
"Did you hear that Harry?" she smirked with that sexy grin Harry loved and hated at the same time "he thinks that's the closest I'll get to breast feeding you, do you want to prove him wrong?"
She never got an answer to her question as Harry quickly followed Lestat out the door, Lucile's throaty laughter following him.
"Did your plans at least prove somewhat fruitful?" Lestat asked contently as he pushed his dinner plate away from him.
From a few meters down the long, rectangular table, Harry finished chewing the pork that had been served before answering "Why do I get the feeling you already know the answer anyway?" he asked with a raised brow. All he got as an answer was an amused grin while Lucile actually looked out of the loop.
"Humour me," Lestat prompted.
"Aside from several dozen tomes in Parsel, all written by Slytherin?" Harry asked "I may have found a portrait that was a little miffed at the killing of his pet beast and yearned for freedom."
"So Salazar did leave a portrait of himself," Lestat said to himself more than anyone else with a faraway look"That's interesting . . ."
"Did he say anything important?" Lucile questioned now curious more than anything.
"Nothing really," Harry answered vaguely.
"Oh?" Lestat asked with a grin, breaking out of his trance "nothing about something that would help your mother?" he seemed to know more than he let on "nothing about a particular elixir that would cure most illnesses, both known and unknown, should someone be able to brew it?"
Harry shrugged, though on the inside, he truly wondered how much Lestat actually knew "He might have mentioned it."
"If you don't mind," Lestat began "might I advise that after you have read up on the actual elixir itself, you focus primarily on warding and curse-breaking with Parsel magic?"
Harry swirled his wine glass around in his hand and watched the red wine swirl around silently. He normally wasn't a drinker of alcohol, but when a vampire offers you eight hundred year old wine, you wouldn't really refuse. Lestat and Lucile waited patiently for his reaction.
"I don't mind," Harry answered "you may suggest what you like," he put his glass down on the table after taking a sip and looked Lestat right in the eye "what I would like to know is why?"
"Your quest for knowledge is a secret to no one Harry," he answered with faux surprise "I figured you would be delighted to learn about ancient and now unused magics."
"Don't worry yourself about what I'm going to do," Harry waved off "I've known what course of action I'll take with the Parsel tomes and Slytherin ever since I got them," he clarified "what I want to know is why you think I would need such knowledge, which I guess, ties into the question, what exactly do you know that you seem so intent on hiding from me?"
Lestat and Lucile both dropped their act as their smirks left their faces leaving them a mask of neutrality. Harry didn't let this faze him though; he merely met their gazes, not willing to back down.
"Tell me Harry, what do you think of the schooling in this day and age?"Lestat asked curiously, though Harry knew the question would have some kind of relevance to his own.
"To your question, I would answer simply 'what schooling?'" was his simple reply; Lucile seemed to be pleased with it though.
"Indeed," Lestat stared down at his own glass of blood "the Wizarding world as we know it has become weak," he continued to speak "and all manner of magical creatures are either forces to live as outcasts or savages," this seemed to pique Harry's interest "were we ever to come under attack, I fear we, as a world, would not last very long."
Harry hated these ominous speeches Lestat would give to him from time to time; they made him feel insignificant, like a single ant in a large forest.
"These days, children are more concerned with having fun than furthering their skills," Lestat looked over to Lucile who had taken the reigns of the conversation "Politicians are more concerned with lining their pockets with gold and bettering their public image, and the magical creature communities are too full of pride," she went on solemnly "I am sure my husband has told you on more than one occasion that dark times are coming, the question really is if the world is ready to weather the storm. . ."
"It is Unfortunate Harry," Lestat took over once again "that we have been bound by blood oaths to not reveal the information that our seers have seen, we do not speak in riddles to merely annoy you – were it my choice, I'd tell you everything in a second" Lestat said with what looked like actual remorse "all Lucile and I can ask from you is to, when the time comes, and you'll know what I'm talking about when it actually does, to do what you think must be done."
Harry sat in silence, pondering their words with his hands interlocked in front of his mouth and his eyes closed. Suddenly, after several more moments, Harry stood up from his chair and bowed slightly to Lestat.
"I think you for having me for dinner Lestat, but I need to leave, you've given me much to think about," he then rounded the table and kissed Lucile's cheek "I'll be over later in the week so we can continue our sparring, its unfortunate we can't continue our little lessons."
"Unfortunate indeed, little one," she said warmly, not in the teasing tone she used on him earlier "it has been so long since I've had a skilled swordsman to refine my skills against, Lestat was always woeful at the art."
The vampire in question merely scoffed "I'll let the peons fight for me, I don't see any need to lift a sword myself," he joked, though he knew his skills weren't that bad, it's just that his wife's far exceeded his own.
"I'll see myself out, I know Lucile is only waiting for me to get on the other side of that door before she pounces you anyway," Harry joked, Lestat didn't even have time to think on his words, for immediately after he said them, the dining room door closed with a soft click.
Harry smirked when he heard a loud crash come from the dining room the second he left it. Lucile was a crazy woman indeed.