I'm alone...

again

It has been years, I got used to it and now I'm tired. Tired of everything that is going on around me.

Been here for years now.

My life is not a fairytale, not your dream "once upon a time".

No man is an island they say, but here I am, alone in this society filled with people that are definitely literate but not when it comes to manners.

Earlier it was gloomy outside, it was like the rain will start to fall anytime but then the sun decided to show up. The rays of the sun pierced through the curtains. I smiled as it reminded me of hope...hope that I wish I can have soon.

I roamed my eyes throughout my studio type apartment, it is pretty decent. My walls were painted yellow and blue, I also put some plants in the corner, to lift up the vibe.

I sat on my old but comfortable bed and reached for the remote beside me and opened the television in front of me.

Corrupt politicians, missing people, deaths rising because of drugs...what is new? Is there any? I get tired of it.

I turned off the television, I got bored with the "unsolved" problems of my country. I stood up and walked to my vintage full length mirror. I stare at myself for a while, I look fine. I guess? That would not matter, this world will still look at me as if I am as filthy as a rug.

In my peripheral vision I can see the pile of newspaper but there was this one newspaper that got my attention. An old newspaper with a woman on the cover with an above the shoulder hair, opposite to mine. My right now grew up, up to my waist. I immediately touched mine. I never cut my hair that short what does it feels like? Will it make a huge difference?

I reached for the scissor on the table beside my mirror and grabbed my hair.

I was about to cut my hair when a cold breeze blew from the outside. It startled me for a bit that I lost grip of my hair.

The window...

it was open.

I put the scissor back on the table. I looked outside it is still pretty sunny. That was kinda eerie. That breeze was too cold for this warm weather. I chose to ignore and I closed the window.

After that, I continue what I was about to do earlier, I cut my hair.

I felt— nothing, I thought it would lift my mood up a little bit or it would bring something new...like the hope I have been longing for so long...

but it did not.

Maybe my life is destined to be like this and I and I am destined to be who I am today.

I suddenly felt the anger and the pain and I do not know why? It is weird, really weird.

Why is life needs to be as unfair as this?