Hello, I don't know how to say this. The reason why I was out for so long is because after my last announcement I found out that I am pregnant. At that point I have immediately set an appointment with an OB-GYN because we have been waiting for this baby for so long. From then on I have been constantly seeing an OB-GYN. Never thought I have to keep coming back for the first month after I have found out my pregnancy, after that my morning sickness started, it was really difficult. My OB put me on bed rest because I was getting dehydrated from all the puking. I was already constantly coming to work late or even taking a half day or a leave of absence. Never thought pregnancy journey could be this challenging. I'm already at my third trimester and was put for a month of bed rest again because I suddenly bled but it's ok now, I'm no longer spotting but two weeks ago my belly hardened and I got subtle contractions that's why my OBGYN told me again to be on bed rest.
This is my first baby and I never thought that pregnancy is harder than it seems. I'm really sorry if I have put everyone on hold for the update. A lot of things happened and I'm pretty emotionally at wreck right now, perhaps because of the pregnancy hormones but I'm pretty down for the past two months with a lot of breaking downs. People around me couldn't understand what I'm going through emotionally and that fact is only adding to how emotionally wreck I am right now because even I couldn't understand myself anymore. I hope that this is just a pregnancy phase and will be gone soon after I give birth. I'm quite fearing myself for the probability of getting PPD. I hope this won't drag after my baby is born because I don't want her to see me breaking down for no reason or even on simple and petty things.
I'll be back soon, is just that I don't know when. I don't want to give you all an update with me being this gloomy and sad all the time. I'm afraid it will ruin the updates and will get darker from here if I push it through.
Thank you all for your understanding.