He might not hear it from her mouth, but he wanted to confirm something with her lips. He wanted to have a taste of those emotions she has been locking away and hidden from him.
She moaned when he pushed his tongue inside her mouth. It was so urgent and mind-blowing. The control over her actions, which she had been holding on a very thin line, snapped and her senses were gone.
Now she was only acting on what her body wanted. Her body gradually relaxed as she adjusted to the feeling of him sucking her tongue and forcing her to moan for him again. She closed her eyes shut and let herself loose in the instantaneous desire for him.
When she touched his lips so gently, she felt like she would crumble. It was only a kiss, but she had missed this warmth so much that it made her want to cry.
Noah closed his eyes with fear. He was afraid that it would all disappear in a second. It was a move full of fear, but he received his kiss as if it were a breath of life that she was giving him.
'Is not just me right? I'm not the only one with lingering feelings…. I know I'm not. I'm not sure what place I have in your heart now, but I definitely have one.'
This thought caused him to kiss her with more passion and desire. He really wanted an answer, and he wanted it now.
He switched their positions, and now she rested below him. Their eyes met again, and she captured her lips before she could say a word.
It was wrong, but he didn't want to get any bitter words from her that would make his wish crumble into nothingness.
'That place…. I will hold on to it for as long as I can.'
He thought when the kiss ended again, and they were both panting for air.
"Noah…" she whispered. She didn't know why, but the more she looked at the desperation in his face, the more she wanted to cry.
She pulled him in for another kiss. She didn't like that look on his face. That desperate action of his.
She cried as she kissed him, and her heart squeezed painfully.
"I'm sorry." She would whisper but not allow him to get a word in.
"Love, calm down. It's okay." He brought her into his embrace as she sobbed. "Don't cry…" He begged.
'I want you, but I'm afraid to have you…'
"Does that make sense?" She questioned out loud this time and cried even harder. She felt something hot on her chest, a pain she was crying out right now.
Oh, she had not cried in years.
She had refused to cry.
But this time she just wanted to scream it all out.
Noah's heart also felt her pain. This pain of his heart being ripped out of his chest was the worst, and he was feeling it right now again. The pain in her voice was killing him.
He didn't even realize that he too was already in tears. He held her tightly, afraid of letting go.
"Can we start over? We can start a new page... heck, we can throw the whole book away and start a new one. I don't care as long as I'm with you."
"I know it might be too late to fix the past but is it too late to try again? To love again?" He asked, feeling like he had literally pulled his heart out and handed it to her.
She wanted to say yes. She really did but she couldn't let go. She wouldn't until she was satisfied with her revenge. this is something she would never give up on. No matter how painful it is to decline his offer and distance herself.
The only thing she could answer with was the following,
"Noah... wait for me. I can't tell you what you want to know, but I will as soon as I can."
"If you just wait... I will solve what I need to solve and I will tell you." She begged.
It broke her from the inside to see the disappointment and hurt in his expression.
"I'm sorry that I can't do it now. I'm sorry that I can't move on with you. But I can't move on, I can't forget the past yet. There is something I have to do first."
He clenched his jaw and swallowed before he asked, "Can you at least tell me what's stopping you? We can do this together and move on together."
She placed her palm on his cheek and closed her eyes, letting new tears fall. "I'm sorry that I'm so selfish. I'm not thinking of your feelings or explaining anything."
"Adriana, stop talking to me in riddles. At least give me an explanation I can understand and accept."
She pursed her lips. "That's the problem. I don't have one. The one I have I can't give. You will understand the reason, eventually. One day you will see, but I can't tell you now and let all of what I worked hard for fall. How could I? I worked too hard. Yes, I'm selfish. You should hate me for this. You really should."
Noah hugged her again and closed his eyes. It made him angry, but he tried to be more understanding despite his own pain.
"You are just like back then. You refuse to tell things, you wish to solve them all on your own. What do you see me as? Am I useless to you? Do you think I won't be able to help you? Adriana Price, the day I married you, I swore I would do everything in my hands to protect you and our love. But don't let me. Every time things get hard, you just push me away." He spoke with all the bitterness in his heart.
"I hate you for that."
Adriana nodded her head in agreement.
"And yet I still-"
She placed her finger on his mouth and shook her head. "Don't say it." She begged.
Once again he clenched his jaw and swallowed his anger and resentment. Like the fool he is.
"Why do we always hurt each other?"
They promised to hug each other and be silent so they could enjoy this moment.
Though, they were both in silence, they were also both in their own thoughts and were yet to fall asleep.
After a lot of thinking, Noah decided that if he wanted this pain and a list of misunderstandings, to end he would have to be patient. Maybe his mistake in the past was that he pressured her so much to give him answers, that she got scared and run away. If she hadn't run away a divorce wouldn't have happened and neither would she have gone missing.
If only he had been more patient back, then maybe he could have also avoided her accident. He realized it didn't matter whose fault it was, but that they both learned of their mistakes.
He didn't want things to go downhill once again, and so he had determined to not let her go this time. He would tie her down next to him. She should have stayed away. If she hadn't come back, she would escape him. But not anymore. He wouldn't allow it.
He turned the lamp off and hugged her again. She had her head resting on his chest and he could hear the sounds of her breathing.
"It's late, try to catch some sleep. Tomorrow (well technically today) will be a busy day." He told her.
She nodded her head. "We will barely get 2 hours of sleep."
"If you get sleepy later, come to my office to rest." He offered and with his palm on her forehead he started running his fingers through her hair.
"That will not happen." She shook her head and stifled a laugh.
He shrugged and commented, "You look good with long hair."
"I wanted to cut it again but Aria insisted I shouldn't."
"Then we will have to thank her for that…" He frowned and placed his hand back on her forehead. "Do you have a fever... why didn't you tell me?" He asked.
"Your body is warmer than it was before." He then remembered how she ran in the rain earlier.
"I'm fine. It's not that bad. I took some medicine too." She assured him.
After a lot of convincing, Noah finally believed her words, and they went to sleep.
They embraced each other in silence after that and savored every second of it.