I'm not really anyone special per say. Just your everyday, mute 15 year old boy. Sometimes, someone would come up to me and ask me some questions about school or about my mutism. But otherwise, I'm left alone. Just how I like it. My family is an average 4 people family, or more like 3. Dad had left one day and never came back after all. Leaving my older brother and I with a slowly getting more insane mother. She's a good mom, I swear. She's just... broken. Probably doesn't help that right after my dad left us, my brother had to leave to another country because he got a scholarship. He can't help it though, a better education gives a better job. And we desperately need the money.
Sometimes, I wonder what it would be like if my dad didn't leave us 6 years ago. My mom loved him so much to the brink of obsession. I miss my brother, he would listen to my worries and my mom would be happy. Happy that he was there. Happy. A feeling that I've lost. How many years has it been since... that? Looking back, everything seemed so bright and sparkling. Now... it's... so dull. Everything is predictable, it's all the same, day after day.
Wake up. Maybe eat breakfast, but definitely make breakfast for mom. Go to school. After school literacy club on Tuesdays. Go home. Make dinner. Do homework. Usually mom comes home around this time, sometimes she'll have these break down moments and beat me up. Go to sleep. Repeat.
Really, I think she started hating me after I starting looking like my dad. The older I get, the more I look like him and the more tortured she feels. Maybe that's why she beats me, to expel her stress and despair at dad leaving.
But... even if she's like this. I can never hate her, she's my mom.
( I hate her... )
She's the one who birthed me!!
(The one who brought me to this hell )
I love her, for all she is.
( I hate her, I despise her )
I stared at the black black black ceiling, tracing every nook and cranny in my head. Like I've done so many times already. I can't feel my arms, or legs for that matter. My vision's all blurry and I can't see much, and my head feels fuzzy. Then, I stared down at... myself? My body... feels light, it's like I'm flying. Did I have a doppelgänger I didn't know about? He's bleeding a lot and he's bruised everywhere, I hope he's alright.... wait. That's me isn't it? No way. I'm not dead. I can't be dead! I have to stay for mom!! I still haven't gone to brother's graduation yet!!
I desperately tried to grasp at my... body. Trying trying trying to get... back in I guess.
I can't die I can't die I can't die.
( I'll be free!! )
LET ME BACK IN!!
( just let go )
( I... what do we have to live for? )
The door flew off it's hinges. A troop of police men stormed in, mom at the back screaming for them to let her go. Her eyes like a crazed animal. One of policemen hurriedly performed first aid on me and I felt a slight tugging sensation. He picked me up, my body flopping like a rag doll. My empty and lifeless eyes stared back at me.
"HES MINE!! LET GO OF HIM!! LET GO OF ME!!" Mom snarled, fighting like an animal on its deathbed.
"Ma'am, if you killed this boy. You will serve eternal sentence in jail." One of the policemen who held her bit out, his features twisted in horror and disgust.
Mom... she didn't do anything wrong!! Don't take her away!! Don't... don't !!
( she deserves this, she deserves all of this )
I yelled and tried grabbing the policemen. But... they couldn't hear me, nobody can. My hands just pass through. Then, I was tugged away. Towards my body. They were desperately trying to save me. Trying to bring me back. I can feel the tugging... but... is it really worth it to go back? Do I really want to go back?
Someone's crying for me. Who? A man? He looks familiar. Why? Please don't cry.
( I'm not worth crying for, I will never be worth crying for )
... brother?
I was dragged away. Away from my body. Away from mom.
Away from brother.
Even if I knew he couldn't hear me. I couldn't help but mutter...
"I love you brother."
Then... nothing.