It's the first time in 20 years I had left my home.
I know what you are thinking "shut-in"
Well it's not my fault. it's not like a god could come take a stroll on Earth every other day. Every time I had come down before something major happens. Like the industrial revolution, the dark ages, the internet, world war 1 and 2. I mean it's not my fault that this things happen, they just do. Like that one time I was passing through Rome and I sneezed, next thing I know Mount Vesuvius had blown up.
That's right the place I hadn't left in 20 years was heaven. And it's not like I left voluntarily either. I was just casually sitting in a cloud eating a bag of takis, taking in the morning scenery, when suddenly I am hurdling down, falling in the sky. Now usually I can just use my godly powers and float or teleport. For god's sake—For my sake—if I wanted to I could've just stopped time if I wanted. That's what I would have done usually. Strangely enough though, my powers were not functioning at the moment.
I know this is the time were most humans would freak out, but I'm god, What I was thinking was that hopefully I would fall near a theme park, or a bowling alley. I hadn't dabbed in human entertainment in a while. So I just let gravity do it's work and I continued falling. As I fell I continued thinking of how I could pass the time on Earth until I recovered my powers, but what I had never imagined what was about to happen.
Eventually I passed the cloud cover and I could see the ground.
At that moment I realized why my powers weren't working, that's because I was no longer on my universe.
Now you're probably wondering "my beautiful dear most amazing awesome god how did you know that you weren't in your universe?"
Well I don't know what gave it away. Maybe it was the completely different scenery I had never seen, or maybe it was the medieval army of knights marching below me, or maybe it was the dragon that was flying a little into the distance from where I was falling, or maybe it was cause I'm an all knowing god.
P.S. it was definitely the dragon that gave it away. Those had been extinct on Earth since the middle ages.
Now upon realizing what was unfolding before my eyes, I freaked out a little. Just a little. I gave a quick prayer maybe the god of this universe would help me. You know since it was a request from god to god. To my amazement I was ignored. Me the almighty god, ignored. Not once in my entire existence had I being ignored, and that's more than 5 billion years.
I don't know who this rude god is but once I get my powers back I will definitely smite his ass.
Now like Newton's apple, I eventually had to hit the ground, screw gravity. Well as you can guess I hit the ground I went splat the end.
Or at least I wished that's what had happened, that would been much more pleasant than what actually happened.
Now I hit the ground and it hurt. That was also new, pain, but the pain did not end there. Infront of me there's a teenage girl with a staff in her hands, she looks me straight into the eyes and tells me "My name is Meri, as my summon I command thee to protect me from my enemies"
She has the audacity to command me, a god, to do a lowly human's bidding.
"yeah that ain't happening" I told the lowly human, whose name appears to be Meri.
"Meri I told you there was no point of you coming to the battlefield, you can't even do a proper summoning, you summoned another lowly, good-for-nothing, powerless spirit" exclaimed a boy about the same age as the retched girl.
Now I instinctively stretched out my hand against the rude boy who had just insulted the beautiful me. Now if my power were working like usual his insides would've exploded and we would be having a fireworks show right now, but instead I just look like an idiot striking a pose.
"Take that back boy, you don't know who you are messing with, I will have my powers back one day and I will destroy your—" I was interrupted by the view of that was happening above us.
I had gotten caught up in the moment and I had forgotten that we were in the middle of a war. As I look up a volley of 100 arrows was flying towards us. I tried summoning a large wind to blow them away, but I don't think my powers will be back any time soon.
The boy next to me started chanting and a small forcefield above us appeared.
It was magic. Now I'm not surprised. Like I said, I've been around for more than 5 billion years. I was the one who taught Merlin magic during the middle ages. I also taught Criss Angel. I'm the one that gave him that name. Get it Criss Angel. Almost sounds like "Christ's Angel". I was definitely not new to magic, but what surprised me was that the boy wasn't the only one that used magic, but almost half of the army did. Back on Earth only one in every million was able to use magic and from the ones that could use it only a handful ever learn how to properly use their power. But infront of my very eyes an army of maybe 5000 was full of magic users.
Each side was throwing magic projectiles to one another. A magic war, now that was a first, even to me. The volley of projectiles continued for about five minutes, when suddenly everyone's jaw dropped when a hole in the cloud above us opened.
I guessed I was the only one that had seen the dragon earlier, and I'm guessing he wasn't part of either army, because as he descended from the clouds trumpets and orders to retreat were ushered from both sides. magician and warrior a like ran at full speeds returning to their camps.
What were they so afraid of, it's just a dragon. If Cadmus could defeat one with a sword all by himself in ancient Greece, how could an army full of magician run at the sight of a single dragon. Whatever I'll just throw a rock at his head and make it explode with my super strength, or at least I wish that's what had happened, yet again I forgot that I don't have my powers, so instead I just hit a dragon in the head with a rock which made him super mad and he started chasing after me.
I ran towards the camp where the army had run before but they started throwing arrows at me and telling me to not bring the dragon towards them.
That was so rude of them, how could the be so selfish, so to avoid the incoming arrows a ran towards the enemy camp who were also throwing arrows and curses at me. Suddenly when I was a couple meters away from the enemy camp the dragon behind me started making a weird sound. I gave a quick glance and what u saw was the dragons mouth and belly turning red, and I don't know if the god of this universe was looking out for me or whether it was just plain coincidence, but as the dragon hurled a massive fireball from its mouth I fall into a trench that one of the magic projectiles had left in the field and the fireball just barely missed and goes over my head.
Unfortunately the enemy camp was not as lucky as me, because the fireball hit them straight on leaving not even the soldiers ashes behind.
Then the dragon satisfied, probably thinking he had killed me with that fireball, leapt into the air once again, and after a couple minutes he was out of sight. Then from the other camp you could hear shirts of joy as they had seen the whole scene pay right infront of them.
I don't know whose idea this was but they are going to pay for all the pain and sorrows I have gone through today. I am going to find that retched girl and give her a good beating for taking me from my nice and comfy cloud and bringing me into this god forsaken planet. Oops, I mean, into this me forsaken planet.