Trunks catches sight of us and the dead frieza and his men. "Who are you?" He asks in confusion
"Well I'm Ryan this is gohan and that is kale." I say easily introducing everyone.
He just looks at us with more confusion. "Sorry your time travel stuff doesn't work on me so I won't show up in your future unless I feel like it. Complicated stuff you wouldn't understand." I explain not helping him any at all.
"Uhhh what?" He asks.
"Exactly well anyway we have some guests let's go meet your mama and papa." I say with a smile as a capsule Corp ships flies in with most of the z fighters hopping out.
There's a loud angry shout. "You!!!" Vegeta yell's and rushes at me only to instantly get beat into the ground.
"Vegeta I thought we had this discussion. I'm sorry but this time the punishment is going to be much more severe." I say in a firm voice gripping his head. His response is another ki blast to the face.
I yank trunks sword off his back before he can respond and quickly shave off all of Vegetas hair. Sadly he loses over 5 inches of his height. Now he sits at a lowly 4"11. I tattoo midget on his forehead and and since his head is so oval shaped I draw a dick on it in permanent ink. He struggles and screams the entire time.
"This hurts you more than it hurts me vegeta." I say in a happy tone signing my name under the perfect dick mark on his extra white bald head. Then with a perfectly executed neck chop I knock him out and pass him to trunks who is looking at me in a shocked expression. I pull out some shine and shine up vegetas bald dome to a sparkle before using magic discretely to make sure his hair never grows back. Forever he shall be 4"11.
I pull out a nice chair and sit down to wait for goku to show up kale sits on my lap giving bulma a glare to keep her away. How cute.
Soon enough goku teleports in and a conversation begins after trunks goes super saiyan and confirms goku is himself. I just sit back and listen. Not really minding since I know what's going to happen.
Sure enough he mentions how in three years time the androids and cell are going to show up and start destroying the world and killing people off.
He also mentions that goku has some kind of heart disease. Which gets worse every time goku becomes super saiyan. None of us have that disease as I have routine body checks done and I'd notice anything wrong.
Trunks gives goku some grape flavored medicine to get rid of the disease but knowing goku he won't take it and will succumb to the disease later on.
It might be a contagious virus so I'll keep checking everyone just in case.
I wonder why goku is still as dumb as a box of rocks. Has no one ever just tried to sit him down and teach him stuff? I think a smart goku would be rather dangerous. Looking at his goofy face I reject the idea as I'd probably beat him to death.
I pat gohans head. "Don't turn out like your father." I say.
He just looks at his dad and replies. "Yes teacher."
I'm wondering at what point I should actually step in to the plot. Anyway after the chatting is done trunk flies off to do something and leaves me with these idiots.
Vegeta is still knocked out. Piccolo is the only smart one currently here speaking of that.
"Hey piccolo I need a favor." I walk over to the namekian.
"First off I have no idea who you are and second why should I help you?" He asks me.
"Well maybe it's because I saved all the namekians and because it might come in useful in the future." I tell him.
"What do you mean you saved the namekians? They all died on planet namek when frieza blew up the planet." Piccolo says in a hurry.
"Well about that. How about you follow me for a bit and I'll show you." He hurriedly agrees and before goku can say anything stupid we fly off towards a wasteland.
There I had put the namekians under a barrier of sorts so people would leave them alone. They gained new technology and had high speed farming areas and water for food.
Piccolo was shocked when he walked in and saw thousands of namekians living peacefully. Since I had taken the namekians before he arrived on namek he didn't get to fuse with nail so he was still absolute shit.
"They have been here the whole time?" He asks me in confusion.
"Yep since the start. As soon as goku mentioned dragon balls and the scouter picked it up I teleported right on over used the dragon balls for myself moved the namekians, beat up frieza, killed krillen, tricked goku and then stole the entire planet of namek." I explain.
"Wait you killed krillen? That's fucking hilarious have you also been taking the dragon balls so they can't revive him too?" He asks while laughing.
"Yep and there's a whole other set just sitting right here in the village." I say joining in on the laugh.
I take him around the village and introduce him to his people he's never been around so many before and only ever dealt with kami so it was nice for him. And the namekians were kind people so it was a fun experience.
"So what did you want to ask my help with?" He says as we sit down at a new namekian diner.
"I was actually hoping you could teach me the evil containment wave." I ask him.
"That move could indeed come in handy sure I'll teach you we need a couple of items though." And from that point on I'd learn that sweet move from piccolo.