The next morning I woke up with a weight on my chest. I opened my eyes to see a very unhappy hiyori staring at me.
"Did you know it was my turn to spend the night but on my way over someone attacked me from behind and tied me up with spirit surpression seals and left me on a roof." She said glaring at yoruichi next to me who was sticking her tongue out.
Apparently yoruichi got greedy and jumped the line for date night.
I just sigh and rub my forehead.
"How about I take you out for a dinner and a movie at your favorite spots then we can do whatever you want." I tell the pouting girl.
"Okay but this doesn't mean she's off the hook." Suddenly her mask pops on and all hell breaks loose. she's got a flip flop in her hand and my room is being destroying by an unhappy hiyori while a naked yoruichi dodges and makes it worse.
"Just accept your punishment you thieving cat." She shouts as yoruichi jumps out the window stealing my blanket in the process.
They didn't even bother to open it they just busted through my wall and window.
There i am left naked in the wind for the whole world to see my little donger flying half mast. When isshin and masaki break in thinking there was another attack.
They just look at the destruction in shock and my bare booty before catching sight of the donger.
isshin turns to Misaki and says with the most serious face. "He must get that from you." He turns and gives me a thumbs up before catching a fist to the face from his wife who grabs him and escapes the room.
Before I can get dressed or anything urahara pops in carrying rukia who is blushing up a storm and peeking through her fingers.
"Ah Ryan glad to see your awake on such a glorious morning." he ignores my nakedness and destroyed room like it's the most casual thing in the world.
"What do you need strange uncle I'm sure this isn't the first time you've appeared in a naked young boys room. I'll have you know I won't go down without a fight." I say with a serious face as he stumbles.
"Ah young rukia here needs a place to stay until her powers come back and since your the one responsible for the problem I'm sure you'll happily take her in." He says before quickly fleeing.
I look over at the still blushing rukia who isn't discrete at all in peeking. "Pervert." I mutter.
"Wha? Nooo! It's just my first time seeing one!" She stutters out. "What even happened here?" She asks pulling her eyes away from the great dong and eyes the destroyed room.
"A naughty cat and an angry little monkey." I say with a sign waving my hand fixing up the room and digging for a pair of boxer briefs.
I pop on some clothes to the poor girls great dissapointment before she realized what exactly I just did.
"Wait how did you fix all that with a wave of your hand?" she shouts pointing at me.
"Internet." I say before leaving the room.
"Internet? wait come back that doesn't even make sense she shouts." chasing after me.
we make it down to the dining room where everyone is already up do to all the loud noises.
Misaki turns and notices rukia. "Oh who might this be?"
"Urahara dropped her off since she's having trouble with her powers we are going to be hosting her for a while if that's no trouble." I tell her grabbing some juice for myself before filling my plate with sausage and eggs.
"Oh okay." Mother just replies happily.
Rukia leans over and asks me in a low voice.
"Are you sure it's okay to mention things like powers to your parents?"
"Yeah see that old man there with the jealous look. He used to be a captain in soul society years ago before whatever happened now he's just a deadbeat." I say not bothering to keep my voice down.
"Hey I'll have you know that I'm a certified deadbeat who owns a nice clinic." he says waving his fork around.
Rukia shoots up to her feet. "ah im sorry sir I didn't know who you were would you mind telling me who you used to be?"
"Nope." He says with a smile.
"Nope?" she repeats with a confused look.
"Nope cause if I tell you it might get back to that cranky old man and then I'll have to go back to doing paperwork." he says with a horrified look.
"But if you were a captain surely they would have you doing more important duties?" She asks.
"Yeah like watching the newest batch of idiot recruits barely pass through school then hand hold them through everything else." he nods.
"I'm pretty sure in all of soul society there's maybe like 10 legit fighters and from how much action they've had recently that would be pushing it." I say with a strange look.
"Hey that's unfair there's more than 10." She shouts before counting on her fingers.
"minus captain and vice captains how many well known fighters do you know." I ask putting my head on my hand and looking at her.
She slowly thinks before counting off on her fingers. She makes it to about 4 before she struggles. 6 before she gives up in defeat.
"Now how many of the captain and vice captains are reliable." I say.
"What are you talking about they are all reliable." She shouts again.
"Tell me about the eleventh squad." I ask.
She starts to sweat.
"That's captain kenpachis squad it doesn't count. All they know how to do is fight." She mutters out.
"How about squad one." I go for it again.
"Well captain kyoraku he likes to drink and take naps as well as flirt with girls..... look why do you only know about the bad squads?!?!" she huffs turning away from me.