When I float back to consciousness, Dante's petting my back like a cat again.
"Why-" I try to begin, but remember yet again that I have no voice. Do I remind him of his pet or something? Ugh, pet.
My face must sour at the thought, because Dante chuckles at my expression. "I do miss your voice at times like these," he says. "Lucien's really going to suffer tomorrow, when you can't tell him everything he wants to know." I shrug and sit back up, and he lays his book to the side.
He leans his head on his hand, lazily gripping his fan. "You know, Adelaide…" he purrs. I don't like his tone, or the fact that he used my name. "I would be perfectly willing to join your play if you'd call me 'Master' like I described before."
I feel my face crinkle up reflexively at the thought, but this time, I consider it. Without my voice, there's only so much I can do. And besides, I can refuse whatever it seems he would enjoy too much.
I take a deep breath and give him a quick nod.
"Is...that a yes?" It's obvious that he's genuinely shocked. I give him a deep bow in response, and I can already feel the aura behind his smile as he watches me.
Before he can decide on what to do, I take the tea cart out of the room and put everything away in the kitchen. Luckily, no one else is around to bother me. But on the way back, I pick up Dante's version of the script from the sofa.
When I return, I present it to him with a bow.
"Going right for it, hmm?" He makes no move to take the papers from my hands. I place them on the table before him and silently, kneel on the ground to bow. I place my hands on the floor and my forehead between them, crouched at his feet.
I can almost feel his pleasure swell at the sight, but I keep my face neutral.
"This was your last resort, was it?"
I can't respond, but I look up from the floor. As I thought, his face is overcome with a dark smile. I put my hand to my neck. Without my voice, this is all I can do.
"It's true that you can't play the part properly without your voice," he muses. "But do you still promise me three days of your attention?"
I shake my head, but then hurriedly motion to him to wait. I take Go stones from the basket, and line them up - three white, one black, three white, one black, etc. and push the black stones forward and tap them each.
"So, the next days you're mine," he says, nodding. "Very well." He leans back, radiating victory. "Serve me well, little bird. Or should I call you maid, now?"
I simply bow again, using the angle to hide my smile. I'm not going to make it the experience he desires.
Dante sighs once I come out of my bow. "It's too bad I'll have to wait another few days before you'll be a proper servant for me. For now, play me some practice games of Go. We'll begin with only part of the board, 9x9 rather than 19."
I know he's going easy on me, but I still get frustrated at myself for falling into stupid traps. When I deliberate longest, I feel like I do the worst, getting caught up in the details rather than seeing the territories at large. We play game after game, until I feel like my brain is going to seep out my ears.
He wins once again, and leans back with a sigh. "You are improving. Probably. Regardless, it takes a lot of practice, and I have centuries, while you have…"
None, I finish in my head.
"You need to eat your dinner. I'm sure the others are already there. But first…" He eyes me up and down. What now? "You need to change out of that."
I look down to see the bright colors of the hanfu. I'd almost completely forgotten. When I stand, he starts deftly untying everything. I gently push his hands away and give him an exasperated look, but he smiles at me instead. "You wanted to be treated like a princess putting it on, you must deal with the same treatment taking it off."
My expression doesn't change. What a flimsy excuse. Even so, I can hardly stop him, and focus instead on scrambling out as quickly as possible so I can change back into the thrall dress. The simple, comfortable thrall dress has somehow become a refuge for me. It is, I suppose, the only thing here that is mine.
"Come." For once, Dante lets me follow on my own two feet.
In the main room, Virgil immediately alights onto me. "The script is gone. Adelaide, did you-?"
I nod, and he scrambles back into his seat with a gleeful look.
To my surprise, there's already hot food on the table. Of course. Lucien's next. He pointedly pats the seat next to him, and I find myself sandwiched between the two largest men in the house.
Shockingly, the food smells amazing, and after a hesitant taste of the stew, I realize it's just as delicious. I dig in with gusto. Maybe Adrian was already terrible at cooking, I think to myself with a little giggle.
After a little longer, I can feel the spiciness I had expected starting to hit me. No cream on the table for the tea, I realize, and I take a grumpy swig. It's hot, but I'm too stubborn to stop, not to mention hungry. Finally, I scrape the last of the rice off the plate and push it away with a sigh.
"Very good," purrs Lucien next to me, but before I can turn to look at him, he leans down behind me and bites into the opposite side of my neck. I feel Dante shift away with a start.
"Well, someone's eager," giggles Adrian, while Virgil just stares in shocked silence. I feel Luien's lips curl into a smile as he drinks leisurely before releasing to speak. "It's hardly abnormal to feed in company," he says.
"It's quite rude when there's only one thrall," replies Dante. Then he sighs and stands up. "I have other things to do."
"Me too," squeaks Virgil, and scurries out of the room.
"I don't," purrs Adrian. I raise my hand and give him the finger, and he giggles. "Little bird's lost her voice~"
I try to glare at him, but Lucien won't let me concentrate, kneading at my neck as he drinks agonizingly slowly. Adrian swallows. "Actually, this is whetting my appetite a little too much. You had better make up for this tomorrow, lover." And with that, he also leaves the room, though glancing behind every few steps.
Finally, Lucien releases, and I sigh with relief. "Not so fast, Adelaide," he says, pushing me down on the sofa. "You've got a lot to make up for."
What is he talking about? He looks at my face of obvious confusion, but just smiles cryptically and bites in again. This time, he's not hovering, but crushing down onto me with his full weight, holding me tightly in his arms. Still, he drinks in measured pulls, very in control. I can barely breathe, but I can't say as much. I reach around as best I can to his back, but he moves slightly, making the bite twinge. I twitch and clutch at his vest, and I feel him smile in response. But his grip doesn't relent. I pat desperately on his back as I pant for air, and finally, he sits up slightly with a grin. "What, getting that excited?"
I glare at him and mimic breathing with my hand. I take his hand, ball it into a fist, and squeeze it.
"Too tight?"
I nod. He stares at me for a second, making me wonder if he's just going to be worse the second time, but he sits back. "I was just enjoying your warmth. Oh well, I suppose you need a bath anyway." In a moment, he's already standing and pulling me towards the bath.
If it wasn't with Lucien, I'd be relieved to finally get a soak.
Once in the bath, his clothes are off in a flash as he sinks into the hot water. I gingerly put my foot in. Good, it's not as hot as last time. He's hiding in the steam again...somehow, but I pointedly ignore him as I wash my hair and face at the spout. This time, though, when I turn around, he's already waiting for me. I hesitate to walk towards him, especially with his arms out so "invitingly".
"Come, Adelaide. I didn't bring you here to bathe. I have a lot of hunger yet to satisfy."
My face burning, I sit on the edge in front of him, trying to find the courage to slip in.
"If you don't hurry, I'll bite the inside of your thigh instead."
I feel my heartrate skyrocket and I splash into the water, right into his waiting arms. He grips me tightly, his head just barely at my shoulder level.
"I was hoping you'd hesitate," he teases, and I splash water into his face. Why is Adrian rubbing off so hard on all of these men?
"You haven't burned me," he muses, settling against my shoulder, and I stiffen. When did I get so comfortable around him? Why did I get so comfortable around him?
He laughs. "Now, now, I'm not complaining. I just find it….interesting."
By now I'm getting frustrated by having my hands pinned to my sides, and start struggling to pull them out.
"Don't struggle or I'll bite you," he says.
I pause a moment and start struggling harder. I'd rather be bitten.
"As you wish," Lucien says, and wraps his arms around my waist. He finds his bite from moments before, and licks it, eliciting a shiver from me. He's smiling even as he starts drinking again, ever so slowly. "Somehow," he murmurs, "you're still warmer than the bath."
I feel the heat in my cheeks rise, but there's nowhere to look, nowhere to go. I just cover my face self-consciously with my hands as he continues, and feel myself slowly sag against him more and more. By the end, I find myself clinging to his back to stay upright, too foggy to care.
He pulls me out of the bath as I'm barely conscious. Gently, he wraps me in a towel and picks me up, taking me down the hall. I shiver in the cold air, nestling to his still warm body. I feel but don't hear the low laughter in his chest. Just before I completely fall asleep, I feel something soft touch my cheek.
I feel pleasant waking up, at first; the room is warm and suffused with all kinds of fragrances. Then I realize that neither of us are clothed, and naturally his grip is iron tight. Damn that bastard Lucien. I try not to think too hard about our position, but my face burns and my heartbeat skyrockets as instead I find myself only thinking about our position. I feel him shift behind me. I know he's awake, but I can't say anything, and I dare not struggle, either. I can feel all too clearly what I would...awaken if I do.
Instead, I pat gently but insistently on his arms. He moves again, readjusting his grip. No! Let me out! I start pushing on his arms, but naturally they don't budge. Then I have an idea. I tilt my head back, rubbing my hair into his face. I feel his breath change, and he shifts a little more. I bonk my head against his chin, and finally, he releases.
I scramble away and wrap myself in blankets, turning to face him with a glare. He just smiles guilelessly at me. "Why the face? Are you that uncomfortable with just nudity?"
My glare deepens.
"Your face is awfully red. Don't tell me you were thinking about…"
I bury my face in the sheets, but he pries my hands away to watch my expression gleefully. All I can do is squeeze my eyes shut.
Lucien sighs. "I do wish you could speak right now. I want to hear exactly what you're thinking, down to the detail. I didn't realize how much fun it was to make them say it until you offered, so you can blame that on yourself."
For once I feel a little victorious that I have no voice. But only a little. Then he catches just my right wrist, and I open my eyes to see his musing expression. Ah. He's realized.
"You'll keep your promise, right?" he asks, his eyes flicking back to mine. I nod, slowly.
He gets up and rifles around next to the bed to find his key. It takes a little while, and I find myself feeling bitter that he would so carelessly put aside something so important.
Finally, he finds it and leans over to unlock it, but I shake my head and hold my shoulders. Clothes first.
He sighs. "Fine." He stands and tosses me clothes from his closet - a blouse, split harem pants, and a long embroidered vest, all far too large for me. I reach into his closet and find a sash as well, to tie around my waist so I feel a bit less exposed in his loose clothes.
As soon as I do, he grabs my right hand and unlocks it with a soft click. But even with the chains released, I can barely close my hand. It feels unbelievably stiff, and I find myself wincing as I try to wiggle the life back into them. I can even see my fingers trembling.
Lucien sighs and takes my hand, kneading it relentlessly. It hurts, and I pull my hand back automatically, but he pulls me closer, squeezing my stiff fingers and pressing circles into the palm of my hand. It hurts, but it feels good too.
At last, he releases. My hand feels a little tired, but mostly normal. "Can you write?" he asks, and I nod. "Good."
Lucien leads me to sit in front of his low table while he fetches pen and paper. When he lays them in front of me, he settles behind me and rests his head on my shoulder. But before he can ask anything, I write:
I'm hungry.
He sighs.
At least give me the damned soup. I'll drink it cold at this point.
"Fine, but n the meantime, I want you to describe exactly what Dante did to you in that gazebo."
I stiffen and feel my cheeks burn. I wish once again that my face wasn't always so quick to flush. He gets up to get me the soup, and I muse on what to write. I'm sure I can make it dissatisfying for him…
Dante let me outside as per our wager. I ended up falling asleep in the sun, and felt bad for him and went to the gazebo. He apparently couldn't wait to go back into the house, and bit me once inside. He drained me until I was unconscious, so we slept there til morning.
There. Simple and true.
Lucien returns with the soup and picks up the paper to read it. It's a little lukewarm - he must have tried to heat it up but got impatient. Whatever the case, I'm starving and I drink it down greedily.
"This...is not what I meant," he says, dropping the paper back onto the table. I smile into the soup a little, lifting the bowl higher so he can't see. But he's perceptive.
"I suppose I should be a bit more specific," he sighs. "I did say I wanted every detail."
The moment I finish the soup, he pulls the bowl away and places the paper back in front of me.
"Now, I want more details," he purrs.
Why do you care so much?
I feel him stiffen just slightly. "You had a very strong reaction to Adrian's teasing when we found you. And…" He draws his finger along my side, and I jump a little. "I want to see you squirm. Now, tell me. Why did you go to the gazebo and not the house? Surely you realized he would be hungry."
I...still wanted to be outside. Sort of.
He laughs. "Of course. You just didn't think about the fact that you were trapping yourself?"
I don't have an answer for that.
"All right. Why did you act so nervous when we found you? What else did he do in there?"
I feel my cheeks heat up. Well, first he wouldn't let me light the candles. So I couldn't see a thing.
"Hmmmm...and then?"
Well...I giggle silently. He was pretty disappointed that I don't have a voice right now. But…
"But…?" Lucien's voice is low, and he presses into me.
He got upset when I laughed.
"And how did he punish you?"
He...restrained me and bit me.
"Oh, is that all? He didn't...touch you?"
I cover my burning cheeks with one hand. I feel him practically humming as he leans over my shoulder.
Nowhere he hasn't touched before, I write decisively. I feel his hand squeeze me and I hurriedly add, Just my side, nowhere else!!
"Hmmm." He sighs. "Wait. Why did he stop there? He seemed pretty pleased that morning. You didn't burn him?"
No.
"Then why did he stop? You have no voice, and no strength." He's veering a little close to dangerous territory. I try to keep calm, but my heartbeat is giving me away.
He saw my expression.
"Your expression…" Lucien reaches for my face with his free hand and turns it towards him, capturing my gaze with his deep golden eyes. "What were you feeling at the time? Tell me the whole truth."
I flick my eyes back and forth. Finally I write, I felt lonely.
"Lonely? With him right there? Giving you so much attention?"
I didn't want that attention!
He catches the detail I hid in the sentence. "That attention? What did you want?"
I sigh and decide to stop dancing around the subject. It'll be easier than him drawing it out of me slowly. I scribble quickly on the paper.
He was successfully making me want things….but what I really want is not just sexual intimacy, but real affection. When I realized that I was wanting in that moment was….a kiss….I felt lonely and he saw my expression and stopped teasing me.
As soon as I finish writing, I bury my head in my arms to hide my burning face. I feel his hand slowly squeeze my side as he reads, but I stubbornly stay buried, hoping he won't pry my arms away, but knowing he will.
But he doesn't chuckle victoriously like I expect him to. Instead, he pushes me onto my back and pulls my arms away. His expression is oddly serious."Do you...want to be loved by Dante?"
I shake and nod my head. Yes and no.
He frowns and shoves the paper and pen back into my hands. I flip around so I can write. I just...want to be loved.
"Even by a vampire?"
It doesn't matter by who. To me, there is no difference.
"No difference? It's impossible for a thrall to have an equal relationship with a vampire," he scoffs, but I can hear a twinge of something else in his voice.
People are people. And creating equality in the relationship is not something that is or is not, but something that can be made. It is a choice.
"So...if you feel loved, you would do more?"
Before I can write my answer, he flips me onto my back. I can see desire burning hot in his eyes. I can feel my body responding, but I look away. It doesn't matter how he acts if I know what he really thinks. But he never did get dressed again, and I'm acutely aware of every inch of him that's touching me. It feels like I'm burning up physically, even though inside I'm painfully conflicted. It's not like he hasn't shown me kindness before, in his own way.
With an unusually gentle touch, he sits me up. I finally look back to him, trying to read his expression, and am surprised to find...conflict in his expression as well?
Lucien advances, and I scoot back until I'm up against the wall.
"What would it take," he murmurs, "for you to accept me?"
I level him with a steady gaze. Isn't it obvious? I take his hand and trace the word slowly onto his palm. Respect.
His gaze flicks back up to mine. I can barely meet it as my heart thumps loudly in his chest. I say that, but I know that I wouldn't be able to stop him if he kissed me right now.
After a few more long moments, he sighs and sits back. "I do respect you, Adelaide. But it's fair that it's not the respect you desire."
I heave a sigh of relief.
"But," he adds, "I'm sure I can satisfy your desires." Lucien's old smile is back, almost like a challenge.