I lay still, eyes closed, enjoying the comfort of snuggling my favorite stuffy. The sun is barely peeking through my bedroom blinds as I squeeze my stuffy and kiss it on its face. I stretch my arms wide brushing against my hard wood headrest and almost give myself a splinter. I rub my hand and roll over, not quite ready to wake up and start my day. The the alarm hasn't gone off and so I'm trying to force myself back to sleep. My favorite stuffy rolls over and bear hugs me in return, breathing against my cheek. I'm englufed in the warm rays of the sun, and the sweet smell of honeysuckles. It then dawns on me.... there is breathing against my cheek... and my stuffy is hugging me back!?
I jolt awake, realizing again my reality. Branches, not blinds. I slowly turn my head to see no stuffy and I was cuddling and kissing JUDE!?
Jude rolls on to his back, stretching himself awake. "Why'd you get up? I was enjoying those cuddles."
I stare at him in disbelief, "Did we sleep outside all night? Together?"
Jude smiles sheepishly at my shock. "What's wrong with sleeping under the stars? Last I remember it was your idea."
I started to object, before remembering I HAD asked him to visit my childhood, but I didn't think that also included sleeping together under the stars. "Jude. When did we fall asleep?"
"I remember falling asleep as the sun set in your mind projection. It was pleasant spending a dreamy day with you." Jude replied, "we should do it again tonight." He looked serious, like he was suggesting playing catch on a summer afternoon, not sharing private memories and spending the night together. His innocence was infuriating.
I thought for a moment, trying to figure out how to explain that a boy and girl should not be spending the night together out of a relationship, but I wasn't sure where to start. "Jude, do you have any clue that it can be inappropriate for a man and woman to sleep together, err next to each other?"
Jude thought for a moment before responding, "I have slept beside many of my girlfriends without ever being told it was inappropriate. Did I do something wrong?"
"Boys and girls are different, and as adults in my time, people of the opposite sex only sleep together if they are romantically involved, or married."
"So we are romantically involved?" Jude responded. I couldn't tell if he was pulling my chain or if he was still completely clueless, but I was not about to have a birds and bees conversation with someone nearly 400 years old.
A look of realization came across Jude's face as he stated, "Do you mean romantically like my parents? How they made me? As far as I know, my mother is the only one who was able to reproduce in hundreds of years. Do people not become romantically involved in order to sustain the growth of people? Then why would someone be intimate if they are unable to contribute to the population?"
My mouth hung agape. Closing it in order to respond, all I could say was, "You mean no one has sex in the future!?"
Jude laughed hysterically, hiccupping his response in between gasps for air, "I know what sex and reproduction are, you silly lily bud. I have never experienced a desire to complete an act of intimacy until I met you."
My cheeks sustained a rosy color as I realized what he was implying. This conversation went from innocent and pure to the opposite quickly. I slapped my palm against my face, walking off from his declaration.
He of course Chased after me. "Why are you always walking away from me, Nola? I don't understand why you get embarrassed so easily when all I am doing is stating a fact. Did people not speak openly in your original timeline?"
I responded over my shoulder, "There's something called private thoughts, and I am definitely not used to a male declaring he wants to be intimate with me." I kept on walking, "Especially after just meeting them."
"Do you not tell a man if you desire him? When would it be appropriate to share you feelings and inform a potential partner that you think they are the most beautiful being they have ever laid eyes on." Jude's statement stopped me in my tracks.
I turned to face him as he caught up with me. "No, Jude, most people in my time would hide how they felt, or they lied and cheated on them after confessing. I'm not used to men just flaunting their truths around like they're talking about the weather."
Jude regarded me carefully as he said, "Then should I lie and not tell you that I have never laid eyes on someone as beautiful as you? That you heat my insides to the core? That parts of me that have barely functioned before you, have awoken and left me wanting more? I desire you, Nola."
My hair stood on end, my thoughts racing a thousand miles an hour, and a heat in my abdomen formed as quick as the blush one my face. No one had ever said anything so forthright to me in my life. I admired Jude's ability to speak his truth so boldly, but alas, I am not so brave with my words or desires. I opened my mouth and closed it several times, trying to formulate the correct response.
Just as I was about to respond King Ash rounded the corner. "I never imagined you'd already be up and sunbathing so early, Nola," Ash proclaimed.
I did not correct him, but Jude had to ruin the moment with his blatant response. "Nola was telling me that men are not honest about their feelings in her time, and that I shouldn't be so open with my feelings about her."
My mouth stood agape once more. I must be attempting to catch flies today, I thought to myself.
Ash looked at Jude, then myself, and back to Jude before saying, "Jude, did you confess to Nola? What did you say?"
Jude repeated our conversation almost word for word. Ash chuckled before realizing Jude had mentioned Nola and himself sleeping together. Not realizing that Jude meant literal sleep, his face turned red as his own mouth stood agape.
I then realized the King must think myself a charlatan or a seductress taking advantage of his "young" son, but before I could object, the king beat me to a response, "Jude, you are old enough to make your own decisions, but Nola is not like the other girls and we need to have a talk."
"WE ONLY SLEPT NEXT TO EACH OTHER, NOT WITH EACH OTHER!!!!!" I shouted at the top of my lungs at Ash.
His cheeks burned brightly at my exclamation, realizing his assumptions were untrue.
Jude thought the exchange was hilarious apparently. "Dad, you thought I gave her my virginity last night? Nola and I have not even kissed. I have been a perfect gentleman, for the most part... there was no deflowering." This specific wording caught me in a storm of giggles myself.
Ash was clearly not ready for this conversation and excused himself politely, reminding Jude briefly that he shouldn't keep a lady from her morning sunbathing. Jude grabbed his side gasping again for air as he pointed towards the sun, motioning for me to join him.
After calming ourselves from the awkward morning, Jude and I laid on Awenasa, attempting to feed our bodies with the sun. I still wasn't sure how this worked, but I figured I would give it a try.
"Jude, is laying in the sun supposed to fill my stomach, because I think it just objected to me lying here." My stomach decided that was a perfect time to growl it's objections to feeding off the sun.
Jude apologized, "I'm sorry Nola, I normally eat something myself before visiting the sun, but I was distracted with my father earlier. Let's skip the sun for a bit and head in for some breakfast, Awenasa always serves me in my room. Let's head there."
Thinking of the conversations from this morning, I thought to object. "Jude, is there a way to get to your dining hall without falling through the floor in the dark? I would maybe like to spend some time with you mom if it's ok?"
A reflection of hurt passed briefly over his face before his smile returned. He replied, "Sure, Nola, I'll take you to her."
We walked in silence for what felt like ages before Awenasa opened up to reveal Lascella. I half turned to say goodbye to Jude, but he had already gone. Lascella welcomed me with a warm hug and a bright smile. She noticed a change in my demeanor from previously and her hands slid from a hug to hold my shoulders.
"Nola, what's the matter?" Lascella made me feel like I was back home with my mother for a moment.
"I think I'm just a little drained is all. I wish I could take a mental vacation from the onslaught of it all. My brain is overloaded with information, changes and I guess evolving?" I wasn't sure how to put my exhaustion in to words.
"I understand completely. Let's take a walk." Lascella grabbed a platter of fresh fruits and gestured for me to follow. Lascella walked off an edge of an opening and grabbed my arm as Awenasa lifted us up and away. I hid behind Lascella, eyes closed and afraid of spotting the drop off of wherever we were standing. Lascella grabbed my arm, gently guiding me away.
"Nola, feel free to call me Ell." Lascella stated, "Also, you can open your eyes now."
I opened my eyes to see a vast expanse of greenery. If I could imagine what it would be like to walk across the canopy of trees in the rainforest, this would be similar to what I would imagine. I turned in circles, taking it all in. Flora bloomed as if we were in a meadow, and I didn't understand how the ground could be so soft and so solid below our feet.
"This is my favorite place in the entire world," Lascella exclaimed. "Ash brought me here whenever I felt lost, or lonely."
A slight blush crept up my cheeks as I vaguely recalled a romantic moment between the two from Lascella's shared memory.
"I seem to recall more than just a few memories up here from when you were sharing with me," I stated out loud. I covered my mouth as I hadn't intended to speak about it aloud.
Ella giggled like a school girl. "Ash and I had a rocky start, but we fell hard, and fast. He was my strength when my world fell apart. I hope you don't feel like you have to be with Jude, just because he fancies you. As a mom, I'd love for him to find a happily ever after, but I also know you are going through quite a bit and I would never push you into something you didn't decide for yourself."
I contemplated her sharing for a moment before replying, "I do fancy Jude, a little more than I'm comfortable with, having just met him. It's like a weird chemical connection I have no control over."
"Like those sexy romance novels back from our days? Where the man and woman seem to ignite in internal flames when they first meet their 'soulmate'. Oh what I wouldn't give for a trashy romance novel right now." Lascella daydreamed for a moment before continuing, "that is completely what it was like for Ash and myself. I ran hard from him because it seemed like the correct thing to do. I was in an alien world compared to what I grew up with, and being with a plant man was not something I pictured for myself. I also think I was in denial for much longer than yourself. That's why I shared my past with you, to help your transition be smoother than my own."
Lascella sat down, sprawling out in the sun, lazily throwing fruit in her mouth. She pulled the edge of my clothes, urging me to join her. We sat in silence, enjoying the sun light on our skin for a moment.
"I know it took me a bit of self doubting to believe you, but it just seemed too real to not believe. I mean, I am not for lack of creativity, but I don't believe my mind could construct an entire world of hallucinations. That would be giving myself too much credit, so I went with the logical solution: Global warming destroyed the planet and a lunatic scientist happened to create plant-human hybrids. It definitely seemed more believable with science behind to back it up." I explained. I definitely enjoyed the scientific aspects of this constructed world, because it wasn't that far from being believable.
"You're a better scientist than I was for sure," Lascella replied, "I definitely was stunned with unbelief, but on to the reason I brought you up here: Let's talk about changes. For example, are you feeling better after some fruits and sitting up here in the broad daylight?"
"Yes actually, I am feeling much more myself, and re-energized for sure," I responded. "My tummy is happy as well, haha."
"This is what I was referring to when I stated that you would need to photosynthesize to give yourself nutrients. It's not that different from being a normal human being, you needed vitamin D, did you not? Just picture a life getting to start everyday relaxing in the sun." Lascella inhaled deeply, enjoying the clean air.
"Not that I am complaining, but what do you all DO everyday. I mean, Jude and I have basically wandered around pestering each other for two days straight, are there jobs?" I questioned. "What's the purpose of everything?"
"Oh, believe me, Jude has plenty to do, and he is probably catching up on work right this instant. He likes to shirk his Steward, and his duties occasionally, but he really is a good person, and gets the job done."
"When can I leave? I'd love to go exploring, see the town, go for a walk OUTSIDE of Awenasa, not that I'm not grateful for her or anything." I was dreadfully bored of being trapped in a tree maze, beautiful or not.
Lascella's smile faded, "That was the other topic I needed to speak with you about. I've been keeping you here to protect you. Our people were kept in the dark about where I came from for a long time. News has spread about you arrival, and our people are looking to me for answers. They think you're the answer to our population issue, because you're not like them, and no one has had a child since Jude was born."
"So because you gave birth to one child, they expect me to repopulate the Earth!? I'm not a baby factory, I'm barely even aware of my own sexual organs, much less whether they still work or not." I was furious, Lascella had been so nice to me, but now I was doubting this friendship.
"I am trying to protect you from that, Nola! Your body is your own, but you can imagine what our people see in a human female appearing out of no where. They want to know where you came from, whether or not there are more people living out there underground, more humans. There are also those who are afraid. The last batch of humans that came around before me, destroyed massive amounts of our population. They set fire to our village and cut down our people. From when I first awoke, to the population we have remaining, we are a fraction of the original group. Awenasa tried to save our people, but she was so damaged herself when the attacks came, she could barely save herself."
"So I came from Awenasa, correct? Are there more people out there like me, waiting to wake up?" I was genuinely curious, remembering all the people that were with me the day Awenasa took me from my life. I thought about Freya and Diego for the first time since I woke up here. A new wave of grief overtook me.
Choking down a sob, I asked lascella, "Are my friends here? Are they hibernating in some giant appendage of Awenasa too?"
Lascella had a grave look on her face as she responded, "I didn't know how to tell you, but all the lilies in the field you awoke from are gone. We don't know where they are or what happened to the rest of them. There were a few left when we went back to the outer base of Awenasa, but they were deflated and dead on the ground. I'm afraid you may have been the only other human survivor left."
"I see," I responded. I rolled on to my side, "I think I'd like to be alone for a while now."
She must have understood my emotions, because she left soon after. Awenasa encased me in a soft cocoon, allowing me to slumber in darkness.
Gray. The color of my emotions.