Hazel was torn. She didn't think she would be able to sort through her feelings entirely until she could talk to Will again.
Muffincake didn't—couldn't—understand the depth of her mixed up thoughts and emotions because she didn't know how blindly Hazel had trusted the boy who saved her from complete despair. That sort of dependency couldn't be explained to a normal person.
Will had been like a lighthouse in a stormy sea, calling out to her that not all hope was lost. She was a traumatized little girl that nobody loved or wanted and he was the only person who not only thought she wasn't a nuisance but sincerely liked having her around.
Part of her problem now was that she had placed him on a pedestal when she was younger. Hazel had been so convinced that he would meet all of her expectations in the time frame she wanted that she had forgotten he was a kid too.
