The next two days passed by in a haze of dark hues but one thought anchored itself in every moment demanding attention for every train of thought I allowed myself in those moments, Eva was gone. I hadn't seen Mango since my return but I heard his pain, no one on our street could claim otherwise, no one could hide from it. The sound of a man who had gained everything but lost it twice over, unable to have a say in either situation. I on the other hand was having an indescribable dilemma transpire but attempt to I shall. As I grieved at the window overlooking the freshly completed square our dear Eva would lay forevermore my eyes dull to the color of those that passed by in the background as if demanding the spotlight from which our grief lay. It wasn't as if the world stopped spinning, food still had taste and the ever moving scenes surrounding me still had some semblance of color. Maybe that's what made it hurt so much, the inability to succumb to my grief and feel the numbness that follows like I painstakingly wish I could. Yet unfortunately the harsh and bitter reality that I became so reluctant to acknowledge was that life goes on for everyone else which means eventually, i'll have to move on too. I dare to say that is the burden I oh so fear the most, not losing you on that shadow filled night, but reliving losing you even when I wake up on the sunny days over and over to an end I know not of. Yet I couldn't fathom a future where this burden didn't accompany me, for I could never truly know another like I knew you. Letting out a deep sigh I swung my bag over my shoulder and headed out the door one last time. Now it was time I put one foot forward over and over in a monotonous cycle, because I needed to dictate my terms on this pain, or it'll dictate its terms on me. An escape, a chance to flee and bide my time until a confrontation was nigh and I was sturdy enough to face that truth, that sad truth being I dare not grace your name upon my lips ever again for I could not do so without there be an unending river trickling down. All I could do was whisper as I left, you whom I briefly had the pleasure of loving, was gone. With yet another deep sigh I grabbed a short sword off the rack and fed it into a scabbard, looping my belt through it before finally exiting the place I called home for the final time. One step at a time he told himself, because he wanted to dictate my terms on life for once, or it'll keep dictating its terms upon him. Adventurer and Merchant life alike be damned, if those were the two choices life had granted him then he'd make a third choice appear on its own, a Justiciar. Even if it cost him the prime years of his life, he'd hunt down those that bequeathed their wrath upon the village that Eva had perished in. Fuck the Rite Of Heroes and fuck whatever magic test Mango and the others wanted for him, this was no time for heroes nor would he ever ever claim to be one. He would hunt their tracks and hound them to the ends of Hell if they wished to run that far. Kasper emitted a smile that never reached his eyes, safe travels he wished upon those he chased. For once he reached their destination he hoped they wouldn't expect pity from him, one who would accept no such currency. This time, his eyes reflected the somewhat sinister tint that haunted his smile as his journey into the real world had just begun.