Chereads / Depression's Many Faces / Chapter 4 - Freedom in a Red Balloon

Chapter 4 - Freedom in a Red Balloon

Jana looked around the office, it was about time to go home. On Fridays most people left early but she always stayed until it was time to clock out. Work was important and she needed the distraction. She looked at the calendar and almost jumped, "Tonight is the night," Jana sighed stacking the papers into a neat pile on her desk.

"Special plans?" Julie asked happily clocking out. Julie was Jana's young coworker, she had a newborn son that she always rushed home to. Jana wanted to go back in time to when her daughter was that little.

Jana couldn't decide if she should tell her so she said, "only dinner with the husband," her heart screamed with the desire to tell someone but she kept her mouth and secret shut up. Jana thought herself crazy anyway, so what would Julie think? It probably wasn't as bad as she thought but still she wasn't ready to share.

Julie smiled a knowing smile but just said, "Goodnight then, see you Monday." With that Julie turned away and went to the door.

"Oh, goodbye then," Jana shook her head as Julie left. She was the last one in the office but she couldn't relax. She clocked out early and got her bags together. She almost flew to her car but she contained her excitement and nerves, walking in the winter wind was bad enough she had to focus on not falling.

A red balloon tied to the steering wheel tried to jump out when she opened the car door. She pushed it aside gently and got in her car, she shook with energy. She untied it and rolled down her window. The balloon jerked in the wind but she held on tightly.

A deep breath followed by the same thing she had told the balloon every night for almost a month, "I love you! Please be good and be careful. I am going to miss you so very much!" The balloon quivered like a child as she let it go, "Be free now."

She started the car but sat in the car watching the balloon fly away. Tears rolled down her face as she finally drove home watching the balloons path as long as she could. All the while thinking about her daughter, today at noon her daughter left for college. Her daughter an adult? She couldn't believe it! Jana knew that she had to let go so for a month she held the red balloon like a child and today before work she filled it with air. Letting it go was the final step to freeing her daughter and herself. Magic only made by the power of a red balloon.

Her therapist recommend it to help her, when he first said it Jana laughed. "What will treating a balloon like a baby do? Other than make me feel crazy?" The therapist just shrugged. Jana was supprised when she picked up the bag of balloons. She picked red because red is her daughter's favorite color. After getting home she realized her tears had dried and she felt relieved. Jana's husband had their daughter on the phone when she walked through the door.

They had a normal conversation and Jana told her daughter about the Balloon. Jana's daughter got quiet, "do you think it would help me? I miss you and dad so much already." Jana laughed and told her daughter she would send her a bag of balloons minus one red balloon.

Poem: Eternity

Remember me for eternity.

Don't worry you'll be around.

You are forever.

You will never fall.

Peace and love will hold you.

Even when the sky does cry.

So, remember me for eternity.

For, my love will keep you around.

My heart does show you,

No better sight can be found.

As long as you are open.

As long as you can fly.

Yes, remember me for eternity.

Because you stayed around.

Others fled my broken heart.

Brave cast me aside.

You, my dear, are more than they.

As long as you believe.

Even when you don't survive.

Remember me for eternity.

Don't worry you'll be around.

It isn't as long as you would think.

Even though it sounds bleak.

It gives hope,

As precious as a lie.

As strong as death.

Poem: Child

Oh child of mine.

So child of time.

Grow inside of me.

So soft a sound.

So sweet a tear

Never to believe.

You child,

Do child,

Grow big and strong.

My child,

Know child,

I want you before too long.

A child,

Say child,

Must you keep me guessing?

Hey child,

May child,

Not leave me missing.

Please come

Show me

You are there.

I know,

I grow,

With you here.

I know

You grow

To be

My child.

So child,

Never forget

Me please.

Poem: If Always Never Comes

If the stars

Fall from the sky

And the moon

No longer shines.

I will still love you.

If the sun

Spits fire no more

And the clouds

No longer cried.

I will still love you.

If these tears

Taste less of salt

And this heart

Beats its last.

I will still love you.

Always.

Forever.

I am yours.

I love you!

Poem: The Colors of my Coat

Lives a plenty.

Colors around.

My coat of fine

Soft fur.

Colored with my age.

Softened by time.

Nine lives I have lived.

Nine colors I have earned.

Each life a color.

White for purity.

Cream for sweetness.

Yellow for Joy.

Orange for energy.

Red for anger.

Burnt for understanding.

Brown for hard work.

Black for strength.

Gray for my long life.

As I have watched

My many kittens

Colored simply

To impressed

With my coat

To argue.

When I was four

I had a kitten of nine.

The honor I had

In teaching her

The many things

Of her wonderful coat.

She looked up to me

and at me as an equal,

Until she passed

To the final rest for us.

A heaven of sorts.

Colors abound.

All lived different,

Emasculate lives.

I will join them soon.

With the colors of my coat.

I hope to stand

Next to my kitten.