I seem to be experiencing a nightmare ... indeed no, I rectify this is my personal nightmare. All I believed in is just fire that is going out and that kept us alive before. It is much worse than hatred, it is much worse than being left behind by one's love of a lifetime. We often don't realize how simple and clean and rare things are the most important, too caught up in the uselessness of other things or experiences. I played too much and I feel responsible for Sajira's death. My love, my sweet thought that now lives among angels.