"BAAAA"!
"GROOAA"!
"What's with the goat?! How did it come out of my-oh...that can't be healthy".
Evidently, the goat did not appear out of thin air. As RJ looked down to see how a goat jumped out of his chest, he saw the golden vortex of light sitting there. He was rather shocked to find a vortex spinning away on his chest, it probably didn't help that a voice came out of it shortly after.
"En geit? Nei! Bellerophon there is a mighty chimera! A monster born with the might of a lion, the wisdom of a mountain goat and the cunning of a viper! More than qualified to protect you from this this mangy mutt"!
"Baaa-GAOOOOO-hissss"!
Before his very eyes, the goat suddenly transformed into a fierce lion-like monster with long spiraling horns, claws as big as kitchen knives and a live cobra for a tail. The goat turned chimera proceeded to growl and stare down the Wolf-Headed Ogre, acting more like a guard dog than a goat turned monstrosity.
"But enough about Bellerophon", the voice called out right before a pair of slender yet strong looking hands reached out and stretched open the vortex further. From the vortex emerged something even stranger than a shape-shifting goat, it was a young woman wielding a giant wooden spoon! As soon as she landed, the vortex in his chest disappeared.
The woman that emerged from the vortex did not look like a fierce amazon or a wise looking sorceress, rather she looked like a peasant. Her clothing looked worn, composed of a dress that appeared to be made of several hundred scraps of cloth, weaved together in a haphazard fashion,a gunnysack hood that looked rough and torn and in one of her hands was a wooden spoon that she held like a spear. RJ couldn't see her face, but from what he could see from her dirt worn skin and the way she was standing and carrying herself, told him that the woman who just popped out of his chest was a heroic, salt of the earth, person.
"What you should be asking next", the woman standing between the chimera and ogre said in a gruff yet melodic manner, "how did I just block the ogre's attack with nothing but a tattered dress"?
The Wolf-Headed Ogre was clearly upset about it's hunt being so rudely interrupted and proceeded to lunge at the young woman with a massive swing of it's arms. The young woman rose her free arm up in a blocking motion, a loud banging sound echoed out as the ogre's attack was thoroughly blocked and deflected.
RJ's initial reaction was to shout for her to watch out, but after seeing her just block the attack just now, he instead asked, "How did you block that attack in nothing but tattered clothes"?!
"Flisete klær? Nei! Can you not see my dress is of divine make? It is a divine raiment woven by the Norn and Fates, from the silk of the Queen of Spiders, Arachne, and embroidered with runes of power made from the golden hair of Sif"!
As soon as those words left her lips, the space around her began to warp and her clothing looked distorted. In the blink of an eye, her ratty dress of a hundred scraps suddenly turned into a beautiful white silk outfit, decorated with golden runes. Even her tattered hood became a golden veil that covered her hair. Unusually, her hair still looked rather messy, and her skin still looked dirt worn.
Displeased that his strike was blocked, the ogre opted to pounce towards her with it's mouth wide open to try and bite her to death.
"What you should be asking", the woman said before readying her wooden spoon like a spear master ready to strike, "is how did I leave such a bloody gash with a wooden spoon"?
The woman kicked herself off the ground and had dashed right pass the ogre, swinging her spoon in a wide arc all the while. True to her word, after she had finished the motion and the ogre had landed, a nasty gash appeared on it's side and black blood began to flow out of it. The ogre let out a howl of pain as it held to the wound with a single hand. With the deed done, the woman finally turned to face both RJ and the howling ogre.
The woman's face was surprisingly... plain. One could say her ears seemed a tad too big, another could say her mouth seemed to wide, one more could say her eyes seemed too sharp, while others could say her skin looked too worn, but all in all, she was rather plain looking. But the way she smiled and held herself, made her look to be a dashing, wise and beautiful all at once.
"How did you do that with a spoon?!", RJ exclaimed as if compelled to do so.
"En gigantisk tresleiv? Nei! I am wielding the Green Dragon Crescent Blade, the mighty guan dao once used by the saint of war, Guan Yu!", she exclaimed with a smile as she spun the giant wooden spoon above her head. When she brought it down, the spoon had turned into a jade green guan dao with an intricate dragon carved into it's blade head.
"Now then", she said while readying her weapon once more, "what's the one important question you've been neglecting this whole time"?
RJ's mind raced as he tried to figure out the meaning behind the strange woman's words until it arrived to a single question, one that he should've asked in the beginning, "Who are you"?!
When that question left his mouth, the woman suddenly became surrounded by a fierce, golden aura. On top of that, her features suddenly began to shift to make her once plain face, into that of a fierce beauty.
"Me? I am the irreplaceable, the unbeatable, the one and only, TATTERHOOD!", she exclaimed as she swung her guan dao and split the ogre right down the middle.
"And don't you ever forget that".