I had invited Summer over for a night in to watch movies in private. My parents were out and wouldn't be back until later tonight, so I took the opportunity to have some alone time.
"How about this one?" Summer says, holding up some movie.
"Sounds good". I in fact had no idea what movie Summer had even picked out. I just wanted to be close to her so the movie didn't even matter to me. I would do anything as long as it involved her.
She smiled setting everything up before coming back by me. She positioned herself in my lap so that her head was against my chest and her legs were between mine.
We always wanted to be as close as possible when we could because we never really liked all the PDA in front of our parents or friends.
I tried to watch the movie but I couldn't keep my focus on anything but her. I silently laugh as she gasps at something that happened, not noticing my eyes were trained on her instead.
I wish for it to always stay this way between us. Happy, together.
---
It's been a week and now, I'm graduating with a date set to go on tour. I had no idea how my life has ended up here.
I always had a specific idea of what my life was going to become. I would still be with Summer, we'd move in together. I'd go to college with Reese and I always hoped that Summer would go to the same college as me or one at least close by.
Ash would revive a scholarship for football and go elsewhere for it and Ryland would go off with Kylie and pursue a career in music since he couldn't get enough of it.
I hadn't anticipated doing so much with the band after graduation. I figured we'd get together sometimes for old times sake but not actually become famous in any sort of way.
"You ready?"
"What?" I glance up from my seated position. Reese was stood in front of me rolling his eyes at me.
"To graduate. That's kind of why we're here and dressed like this." He grabs the fabric of his gown to prove his point, waving it like an idiot. I just silently stand up and lead the way to the rest of our class.
"Let's get this over with."
Everyone was lined up to get ready to get to our seats in front of the stage and our family. If it were up to me, I wouldn't be here right now. I would have happily just stayed home and let my diploma be mailed to me, but I didn't want to disappoint my parents or the guys. Mostly my parents though.
The time has come and we all take our seats waiting for our turn to walk across the stage. I couldn't care less what was said in speeches and shit. I was only here to walk, get my diploma and leave.
Finally, it was my turn, I forced a slight smile on my face as I tried to ignore my mom screaming in the background. How embarrassing.
Once the ceremony was over, everyone went to find their loved ones.
"I never doubted you for a second, sweetie." My mom says tearing up.
"Sure." I half-smile knowing she had thought that I wouldn't. Hell, I never thought it'd happen.
"Now I get to look forward to the day you leave home."
"Yeah." I laugh lightly, tugging my hair lightly in angst.
The thing is that I never really discussed the band's future or plans with my parents. As far as they were concerned, we recorded a song and put it on iTunes to see what would happen.
I wasn't good at giving any news, good or bad. I know that this news would wreck my mom's heart and make her proud at the same time.
I had to tell them soon though, it was mere weeks away.
"Let's just go home." I say steering them towards the car. I didn't feel like conversating with anyone here. I'd never see them after tonight anyway, well bedsides my friends at least.
----
Jaden had decided to plan a giant grad party tonight that everyone was talking about going to weeks before today. As I look around I can see the majority of my class scattered around with red solo cups in hands with a few stragglers from other grades thrown in the mix. Didn't they know this was a senior only party?
The boys and I had initially planned to party together to celebrate the band and graduating but then decided to just do it here instead since it was already set. Laziness at its finest, and I was only okay with it because I knew there'd be alcohol.
Natalie and I were still not 'official' and I got a lot of shit for it on a daily from Reese and everyone else. I wasn't ready to ask her yet, I needed to be ready myself first.
Yes, I admitted my feelings to her but that doesn't automatically make it okay to date right after. Or maybe it does? The whole thought was frustrating honestly. Just because we like each other doesn't mean we'll be together always. I know this more than anything.
By now, I was already on my third cup and the anxiety that I was suppressing was making it's way back to me.
What was I thinking when I agreed to this whole thing? I can't leave here. Too much is still here and I can't leave it behind.
Is it too late to back out now? I already signed the contract giving my life away so I can't leave. I've been roped in and I can't escape. I should have put more thought into this months ago.
I head away from the growing crowd and find somewhere quiet so I can be in peace while I freak out. I'd rather be alone than draw attention to myself.
"You look like you've made a bad mistake." A small voice comes from behind me.
♡