I had apologized to Ryland when I saw him at school. He accepted it saying that it wasn't my fault, he just wished he knew about it earlier. He and Kylie agreed to take a break in their relationship and it made me feel really bad for bringing up River in the first place.
We had our first meeting with the head of management today. He asked if we wrote any songs last week, and Asher of course said yes. So we've been writing song ideas and have some ready to record.
"How much longer until we get there?" Ash whines from next to me. We had been on the road for an hour now on our way to the meeting.
"Is lil' ashy poo getting impatient?" Reese turns from the passengers' seat to poke fun at him. Ash glares at the nickname and huffs in annoyance.
I turn the volume up on my phone to tune out their banter and focus on the passing cars. I was scared to see how far this was going to take us. I knew we'd end up out of state eventually, and I didn't want to know when. But then again, I did.
My life was here. Good and bad. I wasn't ready to leave it behind. But maybe it would be good. I'm so conflicted on the matter...
"Finally." Ash whines once the building is in front of us.
Kevin, our producer, is stood outside the doors waiting for us. I had only found out his name the week before when the meeting was brought up. He greats us and directs us up to the floor the meeting is being held on.
We're led to a desk where Kevin speaks to the receptionist. I look around at the various record art littering the walls as we wait patiently for the okay to go in to get started.
I mindlessly walk behind the others into a moderately sized room with a table in front of a massive window giving a perfect view into the city life below. My eyes wander to who's behind the desk and I'm shocked to find a young, blonde woman organizing some files on her desk before waving us over to sit. I had expected an older guy to be honest.
"Hi boys, I'm Seinne Ramirez." She smiles at us. "I like everyone to call me by my first name here to keep the atmosphere casual, and miss makes me sound old." She laughs and we join in before going straight into the serious news. "I've brought you all here today to talk about my plans for you."
"I hope you took time to start writing songs because I've booked you time at a recording studio near you early next week. From there I hope we can get a single out and see where it takes us. But I'm petty positive that you'll go far from what I've heard." She finishes. I look at her various certificates hung on the wall to my left as I process this information.
We were going to be releasing our first song by next week and I was terrified of what that was to bring.
Everyone chirps into the conversation while I sit still. Everyone was excited about the news about traveling and concerts, but it made my stomach twist in uneasiness.
----
I stare down at my journal and groan as I lay my head down over the words I've scribbled across the pages. I don't even know why I try and write songs, all I do is fail at it. I've crossed the majority of my ideas out and what lays behind is an almost good, but terrible ending.
We had come back after we'd been told everything that was planned. Seinne wanted us to release our best song next week then work on the album we'll release after the song blows up. She's already coordinating with someone in advertising to get it all over.
"When you come to mind, time only slows
Is there any way to dull this ache?
I can't keep track, I've reached my all-time low
"This break in my heart, can't seem to close
Trapped in my own mind, I've gone blind
The world around me spins, while I stay still
Captivated by your image, confined"
The page reads. I sigh, tossing my pencil down, and turn to the rest of the boys. Everything I seem to put on paper is about Summer. Ash seems to be really into his writing as he smiles once he places his pen down.
"What all did you guys come up with?" He asks placing his notebook in the middle of everyone.
I reluctantly place mine in the growing pile and grab another. Everyone came up with different ideas: Ryland's was many breakup songs, which was to be expected. Reese's was half-assed like mine, only a verse or two, and Asher's was a full-blown song with other random lyrics for other songs. I could see why he was smiling now, the song he'd written was great.
"My problems, my worries, my selfish ways
Made a great, strong girl just to walk away
And now I wish I could fix all my mistakes
But now I'm sat here staring and I'm just saying
oooooooooooo
I was too young too dumb to realize
I'll just have to let you go
I can't apologize
What can I say?
'I wish I could've done better'
But I don't know
Because now all I have is just gone away"
"We've got to do your song, Ash." I say looking up from the lined paper to see him smiling broadly at me.
"Do you really think so?" He asks and I nod in 'duh' back at him. I wouldn't have said anything if not. "Well then let's all go through it and see if we need to change anything then work on the sound." He smiles wider and everyone gathers closer.
---
After a few hours of playing around with a sound for the song, we manage to get a good start but agreed to fix it up again some more tomorrow.
I know that I've been only thinking about how fast everything is happening lately, but I can't get over the fact that by next week, we will have already put out our first single, and soon after, possibly an album.
Everything I've known has been in this town, and to walk away is scary. I wasn't sure about going to college with my grades, and if I did, it'd be close by. This is going to take us far away and I'm not sure if I should be excited or not.
♡