'It felt good, but it also felt sad.'
Alexandra remembered those words that escaped Ivan's mouth. For some reason, it just made her wonder how could he say the words 'good' and 'sad' since Ivan didn't seem to have taken any interest at the girls in school.
"Good, sad…" she murmured, staring to the sleeping Denzel beside her. She smiled lightly, feeling her cheeks burn as she wondered how handsome Denzel was. He was such a baby, defenseless and cute, triggering her urge to hug him. Instead, she just laid her head on his shoulder, trying to sleep whilst the car moved.
It felt good.
She could sense his warmth that gave her a nice feeling. It just felt comfy to stay in this position for a long while. It was at this moment where Alexandra partially realized that maybe being rich wasn't so bad at all. Yes, it might be treacherous at first, but when you meet trustworthy people, it makes you feel delight.
The day was slowly ending, and usually, at the end of the day, Alexandra would wave goodbye to Denzel with a bright smile and cheery tone. As the gates of her lonely empire closed, she paced to her room and laid her body on the soft mattress. Rolling around, she found herself thinking about what Ivan had said.
'Are you certain of your feelings?'
That question—she was unable to answer it because deep down, she knew that her feelings won't be reciprocated, even if they were supposed to be arranged for marriage. For the past ten years, she had seen Denzel's eyes. Whenever it looked at her with joy, she felt delight, but those were not eyes of love—and while she wanted those set of eyes, she knew that a one-sided love would lead nowhere.
She needed someone that loved her, not as a friend and not as a sister.
Present time…
"I'll think about it," Denzel said. At this moment, Alexandra just wanted to scream out, 'just say yes or no' to him—and since he said those very words, she knew that what she planned was impossible. A woman, that disguised as a man, had taken his heart, and it was too late for her to make moves.
She crossed her arms and lightly sat on Denzel's table. "Want me to find your dear secretary?"
Denzel's hands stopped moving yet again. There was no more of that elegance and smooth flow. "I… you shouldn't."
"Why?"
"It's personal."
She saw it on Denzel's eyes and hesitating tone—he wanted to see her again. She might have been denying her feelings for this man the whole time, and in fact, she would be the perfect match for him in the eyes of people, but not for Denzel himself.
It was too late to start. Or maybe, she had her heart in someone else's hands this whole time. Either way, her guilt started pouring all over her body—she partially regretted the fact that she chased that woman away.