If someone had told xiao she'd spend the next few months mindlessly eating, sleeping, and fighting, she would have deserted. Her irritability had reached new heights. Yuto was, frankly, insufferable. Nel and Chance took turns struggling to communicate in a way that wasn't completely nearsighted. Christopher's silence had only outweighed his arrogant remarks in managing to frustrate Xiao.
Being surrounded by men was starting to push her to her limits. They'd arrest thieves, fight barbarians, anything that threatened the citizen's safety and while Xiao was not adamant about leaving the villagers to fight against barbarians, this was getting her nowhere. She could see herself aging, time was escaping her and she was still being paid the measly salary of a fixer. This was the work of dogs, she needed to fight, she needed to be stronger.
Another train ride, another night without sleep, another anxious night kept contemplating her future. She felt like she was slowly digressing, doubt eating at her every time they'd send another scumbag to prison. This time they'd go to the capital, she wasn't sure why. Dunder never explained, he simply didn't like to and enjoyed relying on the trust between him and his students.
The train comes to a slow stop. The wheels squeal aggressively against the metal tracks.
Her teammates shuffle between civilians wordlessly, feeling the mundaneness Of this trip. They had been told that this mission would be more of a pitstop and would entail plenty of free time, which produced some varied responses between the squad members.
The capital was a large city, many of the buildings were very high with ornate white decor crowding the elegant walls. The city was very much a showpiece for visitors from foreign nations. If Xiao from the past had come across the capital, she thought she might have been chased out. Despite the war robbing the country of wealth, there was no poverty here, no homelessness, no struggling businesses; It was as if everything had been carefully curated by nobles.
At the center of the capital was the home of the monarch. The great emperor of Zelisthia, Alcinder Messala the II. The imposing castle loomed over the city, viewable by almost every street in Helias. The castle was only home to one other royal family member, the emperor's grandson, prince Asnee. Xiao wasn't sure what happened to the other members of the royal family but she had learned months ago not to ask questions, as rarely, would she receive answers she liked.
Dunder strayed from the group to have a meeting deeper in the city. His eyes shifted strangely as he said meeting, xiao noticed herself picking up on his many ques lately.
Xiao tries to leave the group, a hand stops her. "Hey, where are you going?" Nel asks. Xiao looks down at his hand on her arm, Nel removes the hand bashfully. "A library." Nel raises an eyebrow, "I'll go with you."
"Why?"
"Why not."
"Alright," Xiao stares at him through the corner of her eye while she walks, averting her gaze quickly when Nel glances at her. They don't speak for the entirety of the walk to the library.
The library is musky, the smell of paper radiates the entire facility. Carpeted floors, high ceilings, unorganized books scattered carelessly on wooden tables. Tall church windows illuminate the building. They sit at one of the tables, across from each other, enjoying the morning light that spreads over them. Dust moves aimlessly in the air in front of Nel, He loses his focus of Xiao's face to look at it. "What is it you're trying to do anyway?" he asks mindlessly.
"I don't know, I just- I need something! There has to be some way for me to overcome my limits and not bleed from my eyes every time I attempt something new!" frustration exudes her.
"There's runes," Nel states, "Yes, but how do they work? We're risking our lives, constantly, on our own strength and we don't know anything!" Nel rests his head on his hand, tapping at the table with his other. "You're really serious about this? Alright, I'll help you."
They dig relentlessly, leaving the library an even more chaotic mess than it already had been. The capitals section on mana manipulation and techniques had been seriously lacking; A blatant result of the monetization and secrecy of knowledge. Xiao comes across an unorthodox book on natural awakenings, a theory on gods gifting individuals techniques or resistance to mana strain. She throws the book across the table, "please, just once, can these books hold something other than blind faith."
"What do you have against faith?" Xiao thinks back to her time in the monastery, "Ugh, everything."
"What specifically are you trying to do though, I know you're hiding something," she hesitates. "Levitation," Nel bellows in laughter, using the back of his chair as a crutch. "You can't be serious!"
"-I'm just trying to find some sort of advantage! I can already deliver blows with the strength of a bull, I just need to increase my speed and defense."
"Hm, but I'm not sure flight is the way to do that," he cusps his chin with his hand. "Ever since that whole fruit picking levitation thing I've been trying it, but it's not stable enough and even if I were to constantly be able to do it-," she interrupts herself with a frustrated sigh. "All of you seem to have something you're good at. Christophers got his freaky vines, Chance can blow up mana beasts, you've got mysterious tribe powers, Yuto's a living lightning strike," she sighs, "I don't know."
"You're acting like you can't make a gang crumble to the ground in one mana strike."
"You heard what Dunder said about the mana beasts, we can't continue to be amateurs." Nel's face morphs, his features grave with understanding. "I agree." With those words, they continue with their search. "Well, here it says that emperor Baisequin the III was able to-" Nel interrupts, "That's probably just propaganda, right?" Xiao looks up at him stunned by his bluntness. "What?"
"No, I'm just surprised that you would say something like that." she offers, "Why? Because I'm a noble?" xiao looks at him with an intensity that can only be produced by being caught red-handed. "You know I didn't mean it that way." Nel begins to think that maybe his own complexes had played a role in determining the origin of Xiao's statement; perhaps she hadn't had any ill-will at all. Nel wants to say something, to be able to, for once, communicate in some way with the boy who had saved his life on numerous occasions. It was a strange relationship they had. This dance between them, the reluctance for a relationship more than the devotion of comrades. He wanted it, but he couldn't see that she needed it.
The morning passes without much progress. When the sun reaches midday, there's a rise in chaos on the streets. The emperor's grandson is returning from war. The prince towers over the crowds on a stunning white horse that contrasts his tanned skin. Guards surround him in every direction. His blue gaze is ahead, unwavering and stern. He's young, perhaps Xiao's age, his body is scrawny and his childlike face doesn't quite match his height. Yet, he exudes a demeanor unmatched by any adult in the crowd; one of a veteran who has seen nothing but war. "Why is he here?"
"He's coming back from the frontlines, it's the prince's job to supervise and strategize."
"He looks tormented," Xiao mumbles for no one to hear. Nel overhears, looking down at her now shorter and sullen body.
Nel thought Xiao was quite handsome, with his delicate eyes and plush lips; the gaze that always said more than he spoke, his defined jaw and long neck. Someday, he thought, Xiao would be much more appreciated by women than he could ever be.
Xiao's auburn and tired eyes look up into his, startling him and for just a moment there's a subtle understanding that there is a lot more Nel hasn't uncovered. Of course, and as always, this subtlety is only outweighed by Nel's naivety.