Chereads / The Child Soldier / Chapter 24 - Doubt

Chapter 24 - Doubt

Around noon, the woman from the other house knocks on their door. She's holding a large basket with a covering over it, revealing the contents, there are fish and many strange-looking fruits. She offers it to them, Nel has a hard time accepting the food, so the woman makes a fishing gesture to ask him to join the gatherers later. He accepts and she points to the place in the sky the sun should be for him to join her.

Several hours later, Nel heads towards her hut. Xiao joins him, seeing this as an opportunity to amend her harsh words and rashness over the past day. It had become increasingly aware to her that Nel valued level-headedness and she planned on trying to establish some form of comradery with him. She had always been fond of him, after all. Even if her initial suspicions had overwhelmed her, this new side of Nel had widened her perspective. She berated herself for not seeing him with clarity before.

The woman greets them cheerfully, she points to herself and says, "Ahyeena." Then she rushes back inside to procure several woven baskets, which she then distributes to Nel and Xiao. Nel chuckles at Xiao, with her skinny body, she tries to balance the baskets that overwhelmed her small but lanky body. They walk to a nearby river, where many tribesmen dressed only in low-waisted pants and armbands are already at work. They speak to each other, in a carefree manner as they work in the relentless sun. Many of them are scarred, lines scatter their abdomens and arms, yet they work their menial task with faces full of childlike joy.

Several men spot us and greet us with respect. They must have heard the news of Nel's gift. Ahyeena teaches the pair the ropes of fishing, neither have any talent for it. Hours later, before the sun can set, they finally begin their berry picking. "Life is quite peaceful here," Xiao contemplates. Nel shakes his head, "I'm not too sure." Memories of the Tribesmen scars flash in her mind. "I guess you're right, but they seem at peace."

Ahyeena leads them farther into the forest, where the trees thin and a large, monstrous tree encompasses a large patch of earth. She prays when she spots the tree, lowering her head in respect. She moves on quickly, to the berry trees surrounding the large tree. She begins picking. When she needs to raise herself higher into the branches, she raises herself with earth; After she's finished, she meticulously returns the earth to the state it was when she first stood upon it. Xiao learns from her example, and she tries to raise herself by expelling wind mana through her feet, but she loses balance and falls quickly.

Several minutes later, Nel is forced to raise Xiao on his shoulders. "OW!"

"Hold still, I've almost got this one"

"If you'd stop squirming maybe I could!"

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"Nel, can we talk about the rune trial…"

"Why, so suddenly?" he tries to avoid it. "It's important, we can't keep procrastinating this. We need to find a way to avoid this."

"Do we really?" she snaps her head to look at him. "What?"

"I mean, do you see what's happening with Christopher's leg? What happens in the future when we get hurt? For god's sake, you were hurt in the admission test Xiao!" She looks at him sadly, "Nel, you can't be this self-sacrificing."

"I- I just don't want to see any of you die." Xiao stays quiet. For reasons unknown to her she begins tearing up. "If that's what you want, I'll support you. Not like I've never done anything reckless before." she smiles sadly to herself.

"We've never really talked like this before."

"I don't really… "talk"," He laughs, "yeah we know, you just yell occasionally. If you keep everything all pent up you're gonna explode one day,"

"Hah, oh yeah? And what was your outburst earlier?" she teases him. "Too soon," Nel shakes his head.

Nel is tormented by nightmares in the night. In one dream he explodes, in another, his friend dies. Instinctively, He knows which one was worse. Before the morning can come, he exits the hut without apprehension. He travels north, through a dewy forest full of peculiar mushrooms and ominous sounds. The further he walks, the thicker the fog that blocks his view. At one point he is completely disorientated and became unsure if he was still traveling north. Regardless, he must continue. His view is full of fog, and he doesn't notice until he is only a few feet from a cabin. The lights are on inside, they tint the fog that surrounds him a golden yellow. He knocks, and he hears the lock twist inside, but when he opens it, no one is near the door. Juewl startles him, she's sitting on a wooden stool to the left of the cabin. "Oh! What a surprise!" Juewl raves, a hint of sarcasm in her voice. She procures some tea and ushers Nel to a nearby table. "So?" she rests her hand on her chin and bats her eyelashes, "what did you want to talk about?"

"What is it like to heal?"

"That's quite odd, you don't want to know about the trial?"

"I need to know what to fight for," She hums. "It takes your life. Your entire life must be committed to healing. It changes you, it taps you into a tradition that no one else is connected to. You have the gift, or at least you say you do, but that doesn't mean you're suited to heal."

"What do you mean?"

"Healing others means taking on a weight. Are you prepared to take that on? In your case, it means ending a battle and thinking, 'I couldn't save him'."

"I wouldn't think that."

"Would you ever be able to avoid it? I never could," Nel pauses to contemplate. "I don't want to be a coward," He says, conviction radiating him. Juewl smiles behind her teacup. "Seems like you've already decided, why do you need me?"

He rises from his chair and bows to the priestess. "Someday, would you teach me?"

"Dear Nel, I'm not sure you'll become someone who needs to be taught."