After what I did the other day, Young Master gets more irritated whenever I approach him. In the house hall, the dining, study lounge, and…
*knock, knock*
"Sorry for the intrusion. Young Master? The meal i-"
"Don't come in! You piece of sh-"
*slam!* …even in his room.
Woah! Wait a minute. Wait, a minute. What the heck? Good thing I closed the door immediately before he goes wild. Remembering what is inside, Young Master…
Here we go again...
*blushed*
Argh? "…not good. Not good."
Also in our school. Whenever I call him, "Young Master, I-" he only replies to me with his… "gaze." His gaze is creepy though. Not to mention the last time inside the cafeteria, I offer him lunch together with me and Natsuya…
"Don't get close to me."
…is what he said.
.
.
.
"Why on earth does Young Master so cold to me? Argh. Tell me, is there someth-"
"Hai, hai. I get what you mean already."
"Hmph."
In the end, I ate with Natsuya on the rooftop. The wind is kinda' strong but it is nice, good for picnic and such.
*nom*
"So, about 'last time'. What happened?" Natsuya asked, pointing his chopsticks to me.
"I touched him."
*spuuurt!*
Did I say something wrong? Oh, wait-
"NO WAY! It's not what you think! Natsuya, it's… Natsuya? Are you alright?"
*coughing*, "Haha, yeah. But it was a big surprise you know."
What's happening to me?
I feel embarrassed. Not because I spat nonsense but it shows like I'm a pervert or something. remembered the thing happened in the morning
*blushed*, I want to hide.
I told Natsuya about what happened a day ago. I clearly explained to him everything, every detail since from the start. When we got home, on the Head Master's office, when we have gone to the house garden when I was mesmerized by Young Master's slap beauty. When I touched his… face.
*blushed*
"Aki~~~"
Ah.
Natsuya slowly comes closer, spreading his arms as if he will hug me.
"You are now coming of age Aki!" and he really did.
"What are you saying?" I said while trying to escape from his hug. He is quite built than me although I am the one who is required for that because of my job indeed, I cannot let go.
"Eeeh? But it's true Aki." let go
At last, I'm free.
"Also, why would you blush if not?"
*silence*
Huh? Does it matter? People do blush, you know. Cough, well… Young Master is beauty but… I'm not sure.
"You're doubting?" Natsuya said abruptly.
"D- Doubting?"
"Your feelings."
My feelings...
Yes, I am. It is not that it is the first time this happened. There is uncertainty in me. Because of this uncertainty, I… do not have the courage and confidence to face reality.
"I see. This is what reality looks like… so gloom."
Although they say, "To step forward is to face reality." But, we cannot avoid those things that could happen unexpectedly… which hinders us from taking a step forward.
"…I don't want a so, so-called friend!!!"
"Hey, you!!! Get out of my room! You're a nuisance!"
Reality is painstaking.
We are afraid that these will become real. We are afraid that these will when the day will come, step onto us. We are afraid that these unexpected things will take away what we have treasured for long, that those precious things will fade bit by bit or will push us away, abandoning us, forgetting us.
Unexpected things are future happenings. And, we don't hold the future. That is why... Courage and confidence is what I do not have but uncertainty,
Doubt.
I doubt myself.
"And how sure are you that, that I feel towards Young Master that way?" I said.
Natsuya chuckles. "Alright, I'll stop."
*wind breezes*
It is still a question if I do really feel something for Young Master, you know. So I will surely doubt this feeling. And I was just got mesmerized that time, only once. Just that time.
"But…"
I startle.
"What if's are tricky."
"..."
"What if, this…" Natsuya poked my chest. "…is not but real feelings? How will you handle it?"
How will I?
*grin*, "Another thing."
If this is proven real, how will I handle it?
Handle...
"Today's generation is a pain in the ass." The atmosphere turns heavy, the same as Natsuya's tone of speaking. "Judgemental people are around."
I know.
"Be careful, since the situation you 'will' be part of is somewhat crucial…"
"…"
"If you do have feelings for Tachibana. That, if you understand what I mean, Aki."
Feeling. "This feeling…"
"Hmm?"
Reality is painstaking. This is what I'm telling, you know. Facing that kind of situation, knowing that it is crucial, I do not have enough strength for that. Now, how to handle this feeling?
"…is just joke. That, that won't happen. No worries."
"Hahaha. Think so. Maybe because you only saw your Young Master without wearing 'irritated' expression for the first time."
"I do think, too."
While still early, let's put an end to it and throw it like rubbish.