Chereads / Chronicles of Ling Fan / Chapter 16 - Death by Beauty Products

Chapter 16 - Death by Beauty Products

"Zhao Clan!!!" roared the Death Ax Chief. Unconsciously, he had pulled a large tuft of hair and there was now a bald patch on the side of his head.

Ling Fan jolted. "What did my eyes just see?"

"It's that Death Knight Ax...it's been sapping away at his vitality...he's a dead man walking," said Elder Bing.

Quickly, Tang Xifeng and Qin Rong took guarded positions about Ling Fan.

"Little Fierce, you're handy with those blades," praised Qin Rong.

"Mhm Fierce Leader knows exactly where the vitals are," said Tang Xifeng. Looking about the courtyard, she saw several crippled Death Ax Members were in their death throes. Her eyes dilated, realizing the accuracy of Ling Fan's strikes.

Dangerous!

Wailing, the Chief asked, "Why didn't you say you were Zhao Clan from the beginning? This Chief would never have been crazy enough to attack."

Liu Qianlian pointed frantically at the Leader with the eye-patch. "It was that bastard! They did identify themselves as Zhao Clan. But that bastard ordered the attack."

"Who are you? You're not with them?" asked the Chief. Visibly he started to look very pale.

"How can you not know who this Alchemist is? Weren't you the one to kidnap me?"

"Kidnap you?" asked a bewildered Chief. Casually, he swiped his hair and several strands fell off.

Ling Fan and crew hissed.

Not Good!

Don't touch your hair fool!

"One-Eye Lu, explain your actions. Weren't you asked to invite the Alchemist over?"

One-Eye Lu scratched his head, "Chief you say invite...doesn't that mean kidnap?" Looking about, he asked, "Am I not right?" The remaining Death Ax Members nodded in affirmation.

"Imbeciles!!!"

Ling Fang shook her head, understanding what happened. In her very early days, she recruited similar fools. Quickly she discovered the results of incompetence.

The Chief pointed furiously at One-Eye Lu, "Humph! See what your brick for brains has done? Don't you see your decisions have brought the end to our Death Ax Gang. You-You pay with your Life!!"

KaCHUNK!

One-Eyed Lu's death scream tore into everyone's ear as he was split in half.

"May your death comfort the souls of our brothers," softly said The Chief.

Suddenly, gripping his ax, the Chief yelled, "You all run! Big Brother will hold them back."

The other Martial King brandished his weapons and said, "Two Ax will support you Big Brother!! Let's die together!"

Brother!

Brother!

Ling Fan matter of factually said, "Who said, you bricks for brains need to die?"

Suddenly, the Divine Pig landed before Ling Fan.

Above her snout, her eyes inverted as she snorted, "Humph! You want to kill this Queen's disciple!"

Everyone except Ling Fan looked up into the sky.

Was it going to rain pigs?? What kind of calamity was this?

The hair on the back of Ling Fan's neck raised like needles and she screamed, "Fierce Fairies Retreat!!!"

"Silent Killer!!"

To a man, including the Chief, the remaining Death Ax Gang Members and Liu Qianlian fainted.

Mightily satisfied with her action, Shensheng grunted, "Disciple, now that they know the might of my power...bring this Queen their heads!"

Shensheng pattered about with great expectation and quickly found silence from Ling Fang.

Her disciple, was in fact furiously rubbing her glabella. There was a popping vein on her forehead she absolutely could not smooth out.

Shensheng snorted, "What you waiting for? You have some mysterious head wound"

"Mhm!! It's called a headache," glared Ling Fan.

"So it's like that. Master knows a technique that can help."

She's not my master. She's not master.

"Fierce Leader, why did those fellows and Alchemist Liu just faint like that?" asked Tang Xifeng.

With an arrow ready in her bow, Elder Bing looked about. "It-It has to be some hidden expert!"

Qin Rong smacked a fist into her palm. "It really must be a true expert...this technique is deeply mysterious and profound. Unfortunately, Alchemist Liu was also affected."

"Little Junjie, hurry and stand up. Disciple has some unknown head wound. It's up to you to take their heads and defend your Queen's honor."

Junjie's legs kicked as he started to regain consciousness.

Shooting lasers at the Divine Pig, Ling Fan said, "Disciple was about to negotiate."

"No need to negotiate...they dare target my entourage members. Never mind, let this Queen demonstrate how to smash in brains."

"Master they aren't the ones. This battle was all a misunderstanding. In fact, we already killed the others and captured their leader."

Shensheng froze, "Eh...They're not the ones?"

"Mhm."

"Regardless, Little Junjie needs practice. This Queen will show him her Heavenly Stomper."

Ling Fan hissed.

Just how many of these skills does she have?

Shensheng was about to move when her snout tingled.

With a squeal, she zipped over and hid behind Ling Fan's leg.

"It's her!" squealed Shensheng.

"Who!"

THOOM!

Empyrean fluctuations erupted and a Sunlight Domain covered the Area.

Falling to one knee, Ling Fan propped herself with a sword hilt.

Fanatically she peered up.

BOSS!!!

Indeed her assumption was correct.

Zhao Wen's voice echoed from the distance.

"City Lord Zhang, this seat has been waiting for you to make a move."

"Sister Zhao, you really want to block this seat. This time, Zhao Tian Cai must be apprehended."

"Humph! Touch my son, we'll see if any of yours will ever have children."

"You dare!!"

"When it comes to Cai'er, this Mother dares anything!"

"Your son has kicked an iron plate. My cousin Empyrean Zhang An is welcoming him. Soon we will have him in shackles."

Boom! Boom!

In the distance, two Empyrean auras clashed at the Savant City Prison.

"You!! Just who is that? This Lord already knows Golden Path Empyrean has left."

"Humph! You think we don't know who your spies are? They only know what we want them to know."

"So what if that's the case. Soon he'll be surrounded my the Five Tiger Mercenaries and this seat's elite forces."

Wing. Wing. Wing.

A sound talisman was crushed.

"What! Three of the Five Tigers were killed by a mysterious masked expert."

Wing! Wing!

Another sound talisman was crushed. "Lieutenant Cao is drinking wine with Zhao Qiang. Imbecile!!"

Wing! Wing!

"Father is in a drunken stupor at the Heavenly Tea Pavilion? Damn, did I not beg him to stop drinking? Can he not listen to his own son?"

Zhao Wen chuckled, "What? Are your careful plans not bearing fruition?"

"Humph! This seat still has a card to play. Hand over your son, or your whole manor will be lost. Right now, this seat's secret forces, led by 20 Martial Kings, are attacking."

Wing! Wing!

"Impossible! Everyone has died!!"

"Humph! Our Zhao Clan waters run deep," said Zhao Wen.

This!?

Snorting, Zhao Wen pulled out her blazing sword, "If you really want to pursue this matter, this seat will be happy to test her new powerful strike on City Lord's Manor."

THOOOM!

The Sunlight Domain expanded to encompass all of Savant City. Everyone froze on the spot and looked up horror.

The domain actually inverted, the power running up the sword's blade. Like a antenna, it attracted all the light and the shadow of darkness filled the empty space.

"By the Divinities what is that?" asked City Lord Zhang."

"Heh, recently this seat was inspired by her son. This is my Super Heavenly Sun Slicer."

"Enough!! You'll destroy the whole city. This-This seat will no longer pursue the matter!"

The Empyrean might was withdrawn and the sky returned to normal.

"Humph! Just as this seat thought," said Zhao Wen.

"Sister Zhao, although this seat is withdrawing. The Imperial Censors will be following the matter. Let us see how you handle them."

"That is tomorrow and this is today."

The City Lord's voiced rang through out the City. One could imagine he was gritting his teeth.

"Everyone, head my command...WITHDRAW!!"

Swoosh! Swoosh!

Evidently, the two Empyreans left the area.

In the courtyard, everyone was groaning with relief. Whereas Ling Fan was jumping wildly in excitement.

How strong was that? How domineering was that! Zhao Wen Boss of Bosses!

Ling Fan was about to shake a her butt and do her victory dance when she remembered her persona as Fierce Leader.

Clearing her throat, she snorted, "Earlier, Fierce Leader is sure it was a hidden Zhao Clan expert that attacked the Death Ax Gang."

Gasps of realization erupted from the Fierce Fairies.

"Indeed that must be what happened. Just now, didn't the Zhao Clan forces stopped every one of the City Lord's actions," said Elder Bing.

Qin Rong fell to her knees. "Matriarch! Our Zhao Clan is mighty!!"

Tang Xifeng, "This Tang didn't know there was such a sword expert in our Savant City. This!!!"

"Little Junjie! Are you not up yet. You need to resume your training!"

Ling Fan shuddered.

Pig Training Taskmaster!!

The Death Ax Chief suddenly sat up. "What hit this King? Aiya what's that smell invading my lungs! I beg you, kill me!"

Ling Fan's shadow fell over the Chief.

Snorting she said, "Why should this Leader kill you? You're already dying."

"I'm already dying?"

"Mhm."

Elder Bing stepped in, "Fool! You think your hair is falling off for no reason?"

"My hair?"

The Chief was about to check his hair, when everyone yelled, "DON"T TOUCH IT!!!"

The Chief froze, heeding everyone's words.

"What's wrong with me?"

Elder Bing pointed at the ax. "Fool, don't you know that's a Death Knight's weapon? As soon as you started using it, you started the path to hell."

The Chief trembled. His face was already pale, however, it now became blue-white.

"What-What have I done? Is there no cure?"

"The King knows not if it's too late. However, you need tonics and pills rich with Yang essence to counter act the Yin aura of death. We need to find an alchemist expert in healing such cases. However, everyone knows, those kind of experts can only be found in Fifth Heaven."

"You said, Yang essence is necessary to help him, this Leader knows away to help him," said Ling Fan matter of factually.

"Young Miss, you do? If so, this Chief is willing to serve you for life. Only in this way, may such a debt be repaid.

Ling Fan handed her swords to Qin Rong. Clasping her hands behind her back, the little 6 year old appeared like an unrivaled expert.

"Heh, this Leader can accept you. But there will be a probationary period. If you prove yourself to be a brick for brains...keeek. This Leader will end you. During this time, don't you dare betray my wishes."

Quickly, the Chief scrambled up and kowtowed. "This Yueng He-ping recognizes Master! What do you command?"

"Mhm...Choosing to follow this leader, is your only path forward. You've made a wise choice. Rise. Wake your men and take Alchemist Liu. We still have business."

An hour later, Ling Fan, the Fierce Fairies, and the Death Ax Gang were in the hideout.

Long ago, Shensheng had returned with a squealing Junjie to the clouds.

Knocking on a bare wall, Yueng He-ping said, "Master, this-this place is a wonderful hideout."

"Mhm," said Ling Fan. Her attention was focused on the man tied to the table before her. "Wake the bastard," she commanded.

PA!!

Qin Rong slapped his face and the man woke with the blistering pain.

On Ling Fan's side stood Mo Lai and the Wang Sisters. On the other side stood Elder Bing, Qin Rong and Tang Xifeng. On their knees behind them were the Ax Gang members. Yueng He-ping was still exploring and poking around the new hideout.

Ling Fan shook her head.

He's easily distracted.

Motioning with her nose to Elder Bing, she said, "Fierce Arrow, please ask him."

Elder Bing nodded.

"Who are you, why are you targeting our sisters?" She demanded.

"This Di will avenge my brothers. You dare kill me...My Di Clan will hunt down all your nine generations."

Ling Fan snorted, "Who cares about your Di Clan."

Qin Rong eyebrows knitted and she moved over to the other side. Leaning into Ling Fan, she whispered.

"He's from Sixth Heaven's Di Clan. It's a well known mercenary clan from Sixth Heaven. Many a powerful family contract them to perform special tasks."

Ling Fang grumbled. Whispering to Wang Chunhua, she asked, "Is there a reason for a mercenary clan to target you?"

Wang Chunhua sighed.

"Later, you'll need to explain to Little Sister."

Wang Chunhua nodded in understanding.

Wang Chuntao gave a worried look to her elder sister.

Smack!

Tang Xifeng had backhanded to him.

Qin Rong hissed, "Amazing! How does she do that from that angle? During the battle, Fierce Fist noticed how she cut off heads from insane angles."

Raising her eyebrows, Mo Lai asked, "What's with all Fierce names?"

Ling Fan replied, "Our low profile code names."

Mo Lai trembled. "Fierce Leader, this Sister want's a code name."

"Mhm. Choose one."

"This..?"

"Take your time," said Ling Fan.

"Answer the question or suffer like no other," spat Elder Bing.

Suddenly, on a table behind Ling Fan group, moaned Liu Qianlian.

"Uh..my head, this horrible foul taste in my lungs. What-What happened?"

"Fierce Alchemist, you're awake. Fierce Spear, you help her," said Ling Fan motioning her nose to Wang Chuntao.

Pointing to herself, Wang Chuntao asked, "Meee?"

"Mhm."

Nodding, Wang Chuntao quickly left to help Liu Qianlian.

Nudging Wang Chunhua, Ling Fan said, "This way she's distracted and will worry less."

Wang Chuntao eyes softened.

Leader is wise and considerate. Us Wang Sisters truly chose a good place.

"This Di refuses to answer any question. Upon rescuing me, My Clan will torture you for a hundred years. Just who are you people?"

Wang Chuntao helped Alchemist Liu over. Suddenly, Alchemist Liu cackled, "Humph! You've done it now. You've kicked the King of Iron Plates. We're the Zhao Clan."

"Zhao Clan! My Di Clan's greatest enemy, Zhao Clan!?"

Ling Fan shot a look at Qin Rong.

Grimly, she nodded in affirmative. This was a turn of events Qin Rong would have to inform her Master about. Di Clan forces were active Third Heaven.

"How? How is it possible you know about our actions. Who is the spy?"

Ling Fan's eyebrows bristled with impatience.

Noticing her reaction, Elder Bing grimly said, "Leader, your special means may be required."

"Good Wall! Wait is that a hidden trapdoor?" blurted Yueng He-ping.

Nodding, Ling Fan drew one of her swords. She was about to step forward and cut in ways no one had ever seen before when Alchemist Liu stopped her.

"Let me...this Alchemist owes a debt," she said pulling out two vials.

Tang Xifeng asked, "Earlier this Master saw you eliminate a man with those concoctions. Just what are they?"

"These are test samples 982b and 712e."

Qin Rong eyes narrowed, "Just what are these foul poisons. Earlier this Master saw one cause the eyes of the man pop out on their own. The other, turned his skin green and he choked foaming red blood. These poisons are the stuff of nightmares."

Elder Bing and Tang Xifeng furiously nodded in agreement.

"Batch 982 is a Wrinkle Eye Reducer. 712 is a facial moisturizer."

Hisses erupted from all the women. Weren't these two vials the bane of all females.

Ling Fan shuddered.

The stuff of nightmares....death by beauty products!!"

"You think those scare this Di. Am I not a man? So what if I'm blinded...So what if I have no skin. I will die a martyr to my clan."

"Humph! If those can't scare you, this Leader can only cut you," said Ling Fan.

She was about to move when Yueng He-ping slipped close to Elder Bing.

"Master, your servant has a way," he said.

"Heh! By all means," motioned Ling Fan.

Nodding, he whispered into Elder Bing's ear.

Upon hearing his words, Elder Bing's eyes popped wide in shock.

This?

"You-You were right not to tell Leader directly. Your way should work. You men, bring over the box...show this man the contents."

Rapidly several members brought over a long box.

Eyebrows raising, Ling Fan asked, "Isn't this..."

The men opened the box and revealed the giant Death Ax.

"So what if you show me an ax. Go ahead, chop off my legs, this Di will never betray his clan."

Clearing his throat, Yuen He-ping said, "This ax is in fact a Death Knight's weapon."

"Does it matter what kind of ax you use? Huh!?"

Turning his head side ways, Yueng He-ping. bravely displayed the bald patches of hair. "Should humans touch such a weapon, it immediately, steals their vitality. For men, their hair starts falling off."

"Men, block the Leader's view!" commanded Elder Bing. The Ax Gang members rapidly formed a wall that blocked Ling Fan's sight."

"If you don't talk, we will have the Ax rest on you until this happens."

Tang Xifeng, gasped, "By the Divinities, are you disrobing?

Suddenly, all the men collectively hissed.

This?

Ling Fan asked, "What!? What is it?"

With a voice cracked with horror, "This Di will talk. Ask whatever you want...just-just not that."

Tang Xifeng walked away, rubbing her eyes. "EWWWW!!!"

"What!? What!?" asked Ling Fan.

"Men you may withdraw," said Elder Bing.

Yueng He-ping's face blackened. Collectively, the men scrambled to distance themselves from him and the ax.

Visibly, stranger Di was sweating bullets and trembling uncontrollably in horror.

Finally, Tang Xifeng said the un-sayable.

"It was shriveled all up."