"Ling Fan! Your-Your animal?! What's it doing to my thigh?" roared Tian Cai.
Everyone looked down and then shuddered simultaneously in shock.
Shensheng was halfway up Tian Cai's leg, snorting wildly as her nose poked about.
"Oh My...Young Miss, this?" said Wang Chunhua, covering her mouth.
"Young Miss, your pig is male? He's pretty active." asked Wang Chuntao with a raised eyebrow.
"Little Brother, I'll kill this beast!" yelled Gray Shadow drawing her sword.
"F*cking Dieeeee!!" cursed Tian Cai. Unconsciously, he kicked and Shensheng squealed as she found herself spinning violently through the air. With a yelp, the Divine Pig exploded into a wall, her body puncturing it like a cannon ball.
Damn Pig! We're all gonna die!
"Everyone, Run!" yelled Ling Fan, pulling the cloth over nose. She started running without looking back. The Wang sisters followed blindly.
Suddenly, Shensheng floated out of the rubble, her eyes glittering like stars.
"Humph! This Queen is angered now. Silent Killer!!" squealed Shensheng.
She farted, within seconds Small and Gray Shadows fainted on the spot.
"Humph! You think that's going to stop me. My toe jam smells worse than your fart," said Tian Cai.
Shensheng shook her head.
Toe Jam? How horrible this Toe Jam must be if its smells worse than my Silent Killer.
Bones cracked as Tian Cai straightened his elbows with clasped fingers and stretched his neck. Loosened up, he pointed to Shensheng with his finger. "You dare try to hump this Young Master's thigh? I'll pulverize the bacon outta of you."
Just as he was about to jump forward, Shensheng yelled, "Divine Defecator!"
Abruptly, Tian Cai's gut filled with unbearable pressure and he keeled over.
Holy Sh*t, its bad. Why now?...I don't know if I can hold it? Oh! Oh!
OM! OM! OM! Slowly Shensheng floated forward.
With a trembling palm, Tian Cai said, "Damnable pig, let this Young Master take care of some business first. I'll kick your rump into oblivion when I return."
He was about to stumble to the nearest latrine when Shensheng spoke to him.
"You think this Queen will let you leave without permission? After kicking me!?"
"What the f*ck is this? Is a pig f*cking talking to me? What the hell are you?"
"I am Zhu Shensheng, the Divine Pig, Queen of the Cosmos. What the hell are you? You're not a transmigrator. You're not a reincarnator. By all the laws of the Nine Chaos Heavens your an abomination with an uncouth mouth."
With a red trembling face, Tian Cai spat out his response. "An abomination? Pig B*tch! I'm a sacrifice."
"Sacrifice!?"
"I'm a 45 year old man-child that's willing to brownout his pants to kick out all the bacon from your fat pig butt. You tell me that's not a sacrifice."
This startled Shensheng.
Who knew his reaction would be so violent? Wasn't she just testing him?
Tian Cai roared and was about to jump forward when Shensheng stopped him in his tracks.
"If you calm down, perhaps this Queen will tell you how to return to Earth."
About an hour later, Ling Fan returned with the Wang Sisters. To her surprise, Shensheng was sitting calmly on her rump, next to Tian Cai. Not too far off, Small Shadow was massaging his older sister's shoulders.
Ling Fan gasped.
What! No one died??
Shensheng, snorted. "Finally my disciple has decided to return."
"Disciple, who?" asked Ling Fan.
"Silly, you"
"How is this possible?"
Shensheng sighed. "By default of course."
"I'm confused, by default. Are you saying he rejected you as a Master."
"It's not that. He's unable too as he already has Three Masters."
"What! Three Masters??"
"He's complicated. In fact, everything about him is complicated."
"But are his Masters comparable to you, a Divine Queen of the Cosmos?"
"Humph! They're specks of dust to me. However, they are Peak Grand Empyreans. Except for me, there is no one stronger in the Nine Chaos Heavens."
"Normally, wouldn't you just kill them and kidnap him?"
"Right now, he's untouchable. The most I can tell you is this...He's an abomination that shouldn't exist. Even more, he's a once in an era genius. Sigh, this Queen almost struck gold. However, there may be away in the future. For now, I'll just be his teacher. Thus, by default, you will become my probational disciple."
Ling Fan's face blackened.
"Miss Ling, you're here. Please forgive Zhao Tian Cai's behavior earlier. Anger blinded me and unconsciously, I destroyed your wall. If you send a bill, my Zhao Clan will definitely pay restitution."
Small and Gray Shadows ears twitched when they heard mention of bill and monies.
Pay restitution? Perhaps in 5 years.
Ling Fan declined with a wave of her hand. "Please, it was my pig that that did that-that to your leg. Ling Fan apologizes. You-You won't tell my father?"
Tell her father? Who in the right mind would reiterate Shensheng's actions?
Suddenly, the area filled with people as both Ling Ming and Zhao Chen returned. Resignation and disappointment was written across all their faces.
Noticing the hole in the wall, Ling Ming asked, "Fan'er what this? That foul beast didn't appear here, did it?"
"Father, no it was me. Earlier, Daughter was demonstrating a technique to Zhao Tian Cai and I lost control. Embarrassingly, Daughter was the one that destroyed the wall."
"Ha! Chief Li you see that? My Fan'er will be just as strong as her mother."
Tian Cai looked at Ling Ming.
Doesn't Patriarch Ling dote on Little Killer just a little too much? With her having the evil eye, I'm sure I'll have to kill her sooner rather than later.
"Father, did you find that beast?"
"All of us searched everywhere several times and were unable to find it," responded Ling Ming.
Huffing about in frustration, Zhao Chen angrily yelled, "Damn Beast!! I Zhao Chen will kill you!!"
Both Ling Fan and Tian Cai shot a look at Shensheng.
Tian Cai asked, "Why did you release your bowels on my Grandfather?"
Snorting, Shesheng said, "It's Divine Punishment."
"What's Divine Punishment have to do with this?"
"Your Grandfather has been stealing our Thousand Flower Wine."
"Eh?"
"OW!" Exclaimed a Ling Clan guard in pain.
"What happened?" asked Tang Xifeng.
"Vice Chief, I cut myself while sharpening my blade." With a wince, the guard displayed a bloody hand.
Tian Cai saw the dripping blood and suddenly froze. Each drop, he felt slowly plop to the ground. His heart started palpitating like crazy and his vision blurred to the point of twisting into vertigo.
"Youngest Master!" exclaimed Small Shadow.
"Cai'er!!" blurted Zhao Chen.
Swoosh! Gray Shadow was the first to respond and caught Tian Cai's swooning body.
Ling Ming frowned and asked, "What just happened?"
Gray Shadow, looked to Zhao Chen. "Old Master, just now...Youngest Master saw that guard's bloody hand. Then I saw his eyes roll up into the back of his head…he-he fainted."
Gingerly grabbing Tian Cai from Gray Shadow, "Just-Just what are you saying?" he asked.
Gray Shadow bit her lip and looked to her father Fat Shadow.
"Uncle, she's saying Youngest Master can't stand the sight of blood," intervened Fat Shadow.
Whispers immediately broke out.
"Small Disaster King fears the sight of blood?"
"Ah, the Zhao Clan has seen better days. Their luck has finally run out."
"If word of this reaches all of Savant City??"
Zhao Chen's aura of a Martial King erupted as it pressed about. Everyone except Ling Ming, Chief Li, Tang Xifeng and the Five Shadows shuddered.
With a glare of his eyes, he silenced the crowd of gossipers.
"Old Master, we should return immediately to the clan," said Fat Shadow.
"Ha! Your almighty genius can't stand the sight of blood. Isn't he the King of Wusses? Is this the type of genius disciple you wanted," admonished Ling Fan to Shensheng.
"You know nothing disciple. You're not paying attention to things. You better hope the Zhao Clan doesn't retaliate," responded Shensheng with a snort.
"What-What do you mean?"
"Think ahead little child. They're about to return home with an ailing Tian Cai. What are the odds, Zhao Wen won't blame your clan? You better hope she doesn't bring out the Heavenly Sun Slicer."
Ling Fan's face blanched.
Crap! Crap! Crap!
She waved Tang Xifeng over and whispered into her ear. The red robed blades woman jolted and quickly ran over to Chief Li. After whispering in his ear, his face visibly paled.
Turning to Ling Ming, Chief Li asked, "Patriarch, May I have a word?" Leaning over, he whispered into Ling Ming who visibly started trembling.
Ling Fan turned to the Wang sisters. "You two, be prepared. When the Zhao Clan leaves, we will follow Father closely."
Wang Chunhua leaned over and whispered, "Young Miss, is something wrong?"
"Something real bad may happen. Be ready."
Wang Chunhua looked to Chuntao and said, "Understood."
"Fat Shadow, if we wait awhile perhaps he'll wake up and it won't be so bad," said Zhao Chen.
"This?...Uncle you know Matriarch has her means. She and Old Matriarch probably already know something's amiss."
Sweat started dripping from Zhao Chen's face. "You-You think they both already know. Daughter's going to be angry. Mother she-she..."
"Uncle its going to be worse if we don't leave now."
Zhao Chen's face blackened. After a few moments he sighed deeply in resignation. "Junior Ling, we need to return Cai'er home. We'll be leaving first. Hope-Hopefully, the Divinities willing, we'll meet again."
"Senior Zhao, let me escort you out."
"No need. Junior Ling, live well."
As Zhao Chen left with his grandson and the Five Shadows, Ling Ming watch his slumped shoulders.
Doesn't he look like a dead man walking to his doom?
As soon as Ling Ming lost sight of Zhao Chen, he commanded, "Tang Xifeng, you and the Wang Sisters take Fan'er now and leave the city."
"Patriarch, there's no time...they'll return home any minute. Our only hope is the defensive formation," said Chief Li.
"Right! GO-GO-GO!! Everyone to the Main Hall!" Without waiting for anyone, Ling Ming grabbed Ling Fan and swooshed away."
Immediately, the Wang sisters followed before Chief Li and Tang Xifeng could react. Suddenly, there was a fluctuation from the Zhao Clan and a pillar of blue-white flame shot into the sky.
Tang Xifeng gasped, "Chief Li, what-what is that?"
"It's Tian Cai's great grandmother, Zhao Jia...She-She's the Blue Flame Empyrean. RUN!"
With the light of the blue-flame caught in Ling Fan's eyes, she said, "Father, Ling Fan is scared."
"Damn it, we might not be in time. Activate the defensive formations, wait for no one!" roared Ling Ming.
"Daughter, Father loves you!" Ling Ming roared and used all his might to throw Ling Fan forward. Like a torpedo, her small frame shot into the Main Hall.
Shensheng mysteriously appeared floating and caught Ling Fan's cuff with her teeth. "Disciple, Master won't let you die just yet." The Divine Pig's eyes glittered and the hall's defensive formations crackled into life.
As Ling Ming landed within the main compound, he turned about and unleashed his Martial King aura to bolster the formations. Just as he did, a sunlight domain exploded outward and a wave of pressure slammed down on the Ling Clan manor. Several buildings buckled and imploded. Those people outside of the formations---the weakest fainted immediately while the strongest like Chief Li and Tang Xifeng fell to their knees with clenched teeth.
Shensheng wobbled in the air a bit. "Aiya your heavy!!" she exclaimed as both her and Ling Fan fell abruptly.
Beneath the pressure, Ling Fan could feel her bones crackle from the strain.
As quickly as the Sunlight Domain had crashed down upon them, it abruptly dissipated.
Ling Fan crawled up from the floor, her face pallid and chest heaving as she slowly recovered her breathing. Looking at the Divine Pig, who appeared wholly unaffected, Ling Fan asked, "What-What was that?"
"His Mother's Sunlight Domain."
"That was his Mother, the one with the Heavenly Sun Slicer?" gulped Ling Fan in dread.
Shensheng snorted. "Now you know the power of an Empyrean. I surmise that Old Fart of a Martial King just returned to his clan with that genius. Zhao Tian Cai's Mother saw the state of her son and was furious."
"Why-Why aren't we all dead?"
"This Queen surmises that geezer Zhao Chen, is actually a fast talker. He must've diffused the situation."
"Cleaning up the mess you created, he-he saved us all," said Ling Fan.
Shensheng rolled over and started chortling.
"Haahhaahha! Haahhaahha!"
"When did I say a funny?" glared Ling Fan.
"That Zhao Chen...he-he's already been cleaning up this Queen's mess."
"Already cleaning up your mess??? OOOHHH!! EWWWW!" exclaimed Ling Fan. Her expressions changing from to realization to disgust.
"What-What if Zhao Tian Cai finds out what you're doing?"
Still rolling about and laughing, Shensheng said, "He-He already knows...Haahhaahha!"
"You told him?"
"Child, he's a genius...you need to respect him as such. With just our few interactions he was able to deduce everything."
"He's not even a Martial Initiate. I can swat him away with my finger."
"You'll probably never be able to even if he was asleep. Child, he was born with the body of a Martial King. Why do you think he was able to kick this Queen into a wall? Furthermore, even scarier, he's immune to my Silent Killer."
"Silent Killer??"
"My Divine Fart."
Ling Fan gasped, "He's immune to your fart? How is this possible?"
"A mysterious thing called Toe Jam. This Queen needs to investigate its profoundness."
"Wait, previously did you just say he was born with the physique of a Martial King."
"If you investigate him more, you'll discover he's called Small Disaster King. Most likely the reason is his inability to control his strength."
"How, how do you know all this?"
"Silly, Master tested Zhao Tian Cai thoroughly."
"Did you have to make it look like you were taking advantage of his leg? Did you have to embarrass me like that?"
"Does this Queen look like a horny male to you? Speaking of which, when will you bring me shopping? I want to find some pretty robes."
Ling Fan's eyes glared bright red. She was about to ask another question, when Ling Ming burst into the hall.
"Fan'er!!" Instantly he swooshed over and her picked her up. "Tell Father you aren't hurt. If you are Father will go next door and die while trying to take revenge."
"Ling Fan isn't hurt, Father," she said patting his shoulder.
Chief Li and Vice Chief Tang entered the Hall while carrying a couple of injured guards. "Patriarch! It's bad, I estimate at least 50 percent of the manor has been reduced to ruins."
"Damn Foul Beast!!!" roared Ling Ming.
Both Ling Fan and Shensheng shuddered.
Sensing Ling Fan's reaction, Ling Ming said, "Ah..Fan'er, Father didn't mean to scare you. It's just that beast has become the bane of our Ling Clan."
"Father, what-what do you mean?"
"It because of that beast, that both Old and Small Disaster Kings visited us. It's like one calamity inviting another to the banquet. Why? Why did father have us move next door to the Zhao Clan?"
Ling Fan patted her father's face. "Aren't we all still alive? Who are these disaster kings."
"Child, in the future you need to stay away from Zhao Tian Cai, the Small Disaster King. Otherwise, it may mean the destruction of our clan."
"If Zhao Tian Cai is Small Disaster King, then is Senior Zhao Chen Old Disaster King?"
"Mhm. And there's Zhao Qiang, Young Disaster King.
"Why does Zhao Clan have so many Disaster Kings?"
"Daughter that's not the right question. When your grandfather returns, you ask him why we moved next door to them."
"Grandfather is returning?"
"Any day now. It's good, then he can answer for all the troubles he left me. Sigh...I say this even though great troubles await us?"
"Father?"
"Zhao Chen and your grandfather are bitter rivals. It's a good thing Zhao Qiang hasn't returned. Otherwise, life as we know it would be a shambles."
"Why?"
"Zhao Qiang is called Young Disaster King because he's a battle fanatic and likes to duel everybody. Father has fought him 253 times."
"Father, you beat him all 253 time right?!"
"Er this...Father is indeed strong..however Zhao Qiang is a trace stronger."
"Then Father, you beat him at 80 percent of battles right?"
"This? Daughter what's important to a man is not to win duels."
"Father, how many times have you actually defeated him?"
Chief Li came forward with Vice Chief Tang. "Patriarch what should we do now?"
"Chief Li, have you ever dueled Zhao Qiang? How many times have you won?" asked Ling Fan.
Upon hearing the word dueled, Tang Zifeng ears twitched and her eyes sparkled.
"Me fight that crazy freak, never," responded Chief LI.
"How many times has my father beaten him?"
"Ah that!" Chief Li scratched his head than counted with one hand. "Its two...its twice that Patriarch has won. Each time, Zhao Qiang was distracted by someone."
Ling Fan hissed.
Father lost 251 times against Zhao Qiang.
She was about to ask her Father for confirmation, however when she looked up, she found his eyes were wet with tears.
"Fath-Father are you sad that you lost so many times?" she asked softly.
Taking a handkerchief, Ling Ming blew out his nose. "Fan'er, your Mother must not have told you. The second time, I won against Zhao Qiang, that was when I met your Mother. She had just thrown a kick into his face in an angry fit of rage. Apparently, unbeknownst to me, she'd already given her heart to me and I was her first love."
"Was Mom strong?"
"It not that she was strong...she was just fearless."
"Fearless?"
"Mhm...Zhao Jia witnessed the duel. She easily could've lit us up like flaming trees. However, she respected your Mother for defending her man. Since then, your Mother was known as Savant City's Fierce Fairy. Father-Father begged Grandfather to propose marriage the next day. Our wedding was so happy...back then..."
"Father?"
"Yes Daugher?"
"The Clan Manor? 50 percent as been reduced to rubble. Several people are injured?"
"Ah this! Chief Li, go get has many healers as we need. Vice Chief Tang, find someone to manage housing and food for everyone. Send a guard to Chief Mo of the City Guard. Our Ling Clan will file a complaint against the Zhao Clan. Humph! I'll show them they can't just cause ruin to their neighbors."
Shensheng looked up upon hearing the word complaint. "Child, is your Father's brains scrambled like eggs? Does he want the whole Ling Clan to disappear? If so, you're no longer my probationary disciple. This Queen will pack up and relocate next door."
"Ming'er!! Father is home!!"