(Flashback - Two Weeks Prior)
Shikamaru was crouched down and having prolonged staring contest with a cat that had a red ribbon in its ear, "Ino, you can't release the jutsu until we get the cat back to Madam Shijimi." The cat hissed at him, but the lazy genin only blinked at it, "You can hiss at me all you want to, but the last time someone tried picking it up it turned Naruto's whisker marks into a tick-tac-toe grid. He's got your body safe and sound, so don't worry about it." He gestured behind him where Naruto had Ino's unresponsive body held piggy-back and had bandages on his cheeks.
Asuma walked into the area and looked at the scene, "You know, using ninjutsu during missions like this is against protocol right?"
Shikamaru's gaze turned to him, "This troublesome thing had us running all over for it. Why would we keep trying to grab it when we could just do this?" Ino, in the cat's body, let out a meow and jumped onto Shikamaru's shoulders where she draped herself comfortably, "Seriously? Hey Menma why don't you carry her?" Another hiss was his reply,
"Fine, whatever. I'll carry her, you woman... cat... ugh. I don't even care anymore, but you definitely owe me Shikamaru."
Asuma watched as Ino rested on Menma's shoulders in the cat's body, "Alright then... Mission to locate lost pet Tora complete I guess."
XxX
Menma smirked at Ino as the team walked out of the Hokage Tower after completing the mission, "You should have released the jutsu a little bit sooner Ino."
Ino glared at him as she rubbed her ribs, "Well you said to keep in on until we gave the cat back, and how did I know that lady was going to crush the cat once she got it back. Poor kitty, having to take bear hugs like that, we should let it go if we ever get this mission again."
Shikamaru let out a laugh, "Poor kitty? Poor Naruto and Menma. You call me lazy, but they had to carry you in both forms all across town. I feel sorry for Menma actually."
Ino took a swing at Shikamaru who ducked it and moved away, "What are you trying to say Shikamaru? Are you trying to call me fat or something?" The female member of the squad said threateningly.
Naruto sweatdropped, "I don't think he meant that Ino, you weren't heavy anyway."
Menma glanced at his brother for a second.
Menma was pretty sure Naruto was referring to all of the weird looks that they had gotten from the villagers as they walked back through town, directed solely at him. From the way they looked at him you'd think that the villagers didn't know his teammate was a Yamanaka, and thought he had been attempting something indecent but he was sure they knew, they were very famous in this village. It was more likely they were looking at him. People were always looking at them like he stole something... it pissed him off honestly. Becoming a genin didn't help much at all.
Menma reached into his pocket to fish around for something while Ino reacted the way she started to whenever Menma gave her anything that could be construed as a compliment, "Menma you're so thoughtful! And you did take such good care of my body. It's good to have at least one teammate I can trust to know how to treat a lady. Maybe you should be in charge of my body more often huh?" Shikamaru scoffed, but she ignored him for Menma who then pulled something out of his pocket to give him an excuse to lower his head and cover his blush, it was later then that she realized that all Menma was doing was pulling out that stupid perverted book to read. She was so pissed that she could punch at any moment until she glanced besides Menma reading his book and noticed something in Naruto's hand.
Naruto had in his hand a pack of cigarettes and had freed one from its confines to place into his mouth, "What? Asuma-sensei has like one pack of these in each pouch of his vest/jacket thingy. He can let me get one."
Ino raised an eyebrow, "How did you even get a pack off of him? He's a jounin and we're genin."
Naruto started digging around in his pockets for something else, "I have sticky fingers Ino. That and he was busy staring at the rack of dirty magazines in the book store when we had to collect the merchant's guild taxes." He grunted in disappointment, "I need to buy a lighter."
Ino watched Naruto place the pack back into his pocket, "Are you really going to smoke that? Those things will kill you Naruto." She said displeased at watching her fellow blonde trying to light up.
Shikamaru shrugged, "Asuma does it."
Menma looked up from his book, "Shikamaru's right Naruto can do what he wants."
Naruto looked at his three teammates, cigarette still in his mouth, "He's not the only one I see doing this all the time. I just want to know what the big deal about them is. I can buy them myself anyway, I just didn't want to in case I didn't like them." That reason, and because maybe the stores would jack up the prices for him and call it a 'minor tax'. Before he graduated they called it a 'civilian tax'. Shiho told him there were no damn taxes like that. What the hell was wrong with people?
"Ah, Asuma's team." Team 10 all looked in the direction of the voice they heard to see the pretty black-haired lady with the red eyes that had been there during team placements. Her team in tow. Kiba, Shino, and Hinata, "Have you just finished a mission?" She got nods from all of the kids, bringing a small smile to her face, "Good. We're all here to get a mission ourselves."
The two teams of genin looked at each other. They hadn't seen each other since they had graduated and had a few things to catch up on, but first-, "Dude." Kiba said, looking at Naruto, "Since when do you smoke?" Akamaru yapped on his head after his question.
Hinata had a look of horror on her face, 'Naruto-kun smokes? Why would Naruto-kun smoke?'
Naruto shrugged, "I don't know. Since-." He was going to say since five seconds ago, but the killing intent from Kurenai drowned out his response, "Since... since... since..." He couldn't rightly respond when he looked into her red eyes that seemed to be looking right through him. He felt like he was going to die if he said one more word.
Saved by Asuma, is what he felt like when the man came out, "Hey you guys forgot your paychecks. Eager to get rid of that cat huh?" He said as he had money in one hand, and the other sticking a cigarette on his mouth. He grabbed a lighter and lit it as his eyes panned around, "Hey Kurenai."
"-Since Asuma-sensei started making it look so cool!" Naruto exclaimed loudly, his excuse and his scapegoat found. Let no one ever say that Naruto did not know how to think on his feet. Too bad it had to be at Asuma's expense, but as the saying went; better you than me.
Asuma looked at Naruto strangely, not knowing what he was talking about until he saw the cigarette in Naruto's mouth. His eyes widened and he pointed at Naruto accusingly, "Oh Naruto you're so full of-!" He was stopped by killing intent from... two different sources.
What the hell? He knew one was from Kurenai, but where was the other one from? No way, the timid Hyuuga girl was trying to shake him up? He would have thought that was so cute if Kurenai wasn't scaring the hell out of him at the moment. How precious, the little Hyuuga girl was upset at him for Naruto smoking. Man, even a cute little Hyuuga like her could glare a hole through granite. It had to be the eyes.
Taking advantage of Asuma's stunned state, Naruto snatched the lighter from Asuma's hands and after a few experimental flicks he lit his cigarette and sighed deeply, exhaling smoke, "Ahh, you were right Asuma-sensei. Bold flavor, and relaxing after a hard day's work." Honestly, it tasted like hell to him, but he was supposed to be selling this thing for his immediate health right now, so he took another toke like it was the best thing in the world, and exhaled again, with more strain this time, "Smooth." He said in a choked voice.
"Asuma." Kurenai said firmly, "I know you remember the speech Hokage-sama gave us all when we accepted our teams. We're supposed to be role models and set good examples for them. What kind of example does smoking two packs of cigarettes a day set to your genin? And what about Menma and that perverted book he's reading don't tell me that somehow you or Kakashi influenced him?"
Asuma was sweating bullets, "Um...Uh-?" He yelped in pain when Kurenai grabbed him by his ear and pulled him away.
Naruto took the cigarette from his mouth and exhaled as he watched Kurenai drag off and scold Asuma with her team trailing behind her, "And there you go, that's what you call taking command of the situation. And now, I've got a free lighter." He gave himself a mental pat on the back at his masterful performance until he felt the collar of his windbreaker and undershirt get tugged, pulling him back. He looked to see that Kurenai had doubled back and come back for him, "Um... Hi?"
She gave him a rather cold look of disappointment, him and Menma in one hand, Asuma in the other, Two being dragged walking on his feet, the other being dragged from behind, heels sliding through the dirt, "I'm going to give your sensei a little lecture on responsibility and then I'm going to break you of that nasty habit before you can get started like him or before Menma turns out like Kakashi."
Naruto and Asuma looked at each other with Naruto mouthing, "I'm sorry" to his sensei who just sighed in defeat and accepted his fate.
Shikamaru looked down the road that his sensei and his male teammate were disappearing at the end of, "So... does that mean we're done for today?"
Ino blinked at the same sight when something hit her, "Wait, Asuma-sensei still has our money!" She took off after them to see if she could catch up.
She never did. The money was used to buy Naruto three entire cartons of cigarettes which were then used to make him smoke them all in one sitting by Kurenai who spent the entire time telling Asuma about the responsibilities he now had. Kurenai's genin squad watched on in horror as Naruto smoked 48 packs of cigarettes at once and then proceeded to puke his guts out and fade into unconsciousness immediately after finishing. Meanwhile through all of this happening Menma didn't glance up from his book once.
Kurenai let Asuma, Naruto, and Menma go, seeing as her job was done. Naruto learned his lesson as did Asuma, and after watching Naruto get physically ill off of the cigarettes her team got the message that she wanted to convey; do not start smoking. However, her plan backfired miserably. Menma didnt listen to a word she said and Naruto, instead of being one and done to protect his own ass as he originally intended, ended up getting a taste and a feel for the cancer sticks off of Kurenai's little punishment. Asuma still continued to smoke regularly, and seemed to encourage Naruto's growing habit as it gave him something to bond with the blonde over... as long as he wasn't stupid enough to do it in front of Kurenai again... and to date he had not been.
(End Flashback)
(Ino's House - Later that Evening)
Ino was in her father's small storage area loading up her pack for the mission tomorrow.
"And where are you going that you need all of that?" Ino's father Inoichi asked, standing by the door to the room, "You have a mission to prepare for?"
Ino turned to him and nodded, "Yes daddy. Me, Shikamaru, Menma, and Naruto are supposed to be going on our first C-ranked mission with Asuma-sensei tomorrow. Anything you want to tell me about what to be ready for?" She switched to a mild glare, "Since you didn't tell me about the second part of the genin exam and everything?"
Inoich laughed, "No one could say anything about that. It was a test Ino, but yes actually. You're good enough for the mission, just make sure you trust your teammates and you'll all do fine." He then stopped for a moment as he thought, "You know I know Shikamaru pretty well. I've never met your other two before."
In return, Ino shrugged and looked up at him, "Menma's a nice guy. And he's arguably the best ninja on our team but he can get a bit cocky, Naruto, Menma's brother, is kind of a loud mouth but he's nearly just as strong as him and sometimes can act like a clown." She smiled a bit, "They're actually good. Kind of goofy from time to time, but more fun than Shikamaru is, that stick in the mud."
Inoichi's face was momentarily stern, "Uzumaki Menma and Uzumaki Naruto..." His face then lit up, "They aren't bad kids at all. You should invite themm over sometime. I already know Shikamaru, I might as well meet them too."
"Will do daddy." Ino said, straining visibly with her overfilled pack, "Now could you help me close this thing up?"
(Shikamaru's House)
Shikamaru walked into his house and heard his father's voice call out, "Shikamaru, come in here." Shikamaru sighed and made his way to the living room where he had been summoned to, "What do you want dad?"
Shikamaru's dad Shikaku was sitting in a reclining chair with his eyes closed, "So how was your day?"
"Troublesome..." His son replied, "We did a mission, and then Asuma spent the second part of the day kicking our asses. If I knew being a ninja would have had me doing so much stuff I don't think I would have let you talk me into it when I was little."
Shikaku didn't physically respond. He grunted in understanding before speaking again, "I said you could quit whenever you wanted didn't I"
Shikamaru yawned and leaned against the door frame in the room, "Yeah, but mom on the other hand said she wasn't going to have a dropout for a son, and here I am now."
"Troublesome." Shikaku said, yawning much like his son had a moment earlier.
Shikamaru shook his head, "You're telling me, I'm living it. Anyway, I have a C-rank to go on tomorrow. Asuma finally said me, Menma, Ino, and Naruto could take one to see how we do."
Shikaku chuckled, eyes still closed, "Ha, that's right, you have Ino on your team. Poor bastard." Shikamaru grumbled something about troublesome old men, "And Naruto? Heh, good luck with that. Has he pranked you yet?"
Shikamaru scowled slightly, "No thank Kami. I would like to stay on the opposite end of that spectrum for as long as I can. That bastard is sneaky, he's already gotten Asuma, he won't touch Ino with any, and that means I'm a potential target, it's best to not give him a reason." He stood there in thought for a moment, "Hey dad, why do people seem to have a problem with Naruto and Menma. They aren't that bad of a people, I've met way worse people, and their pranks aren't that bad. Everything they do can be fixed in an hour."
At that, Shikaku cracked an eyelid and gazed at his son for a moment before shutting it again, "Too troublesome to explain. You're a smart kid. Figure it out on your own."
Shikamaru got off the wall and walked away, "Whatever dad. Troublesome old man."
Shikaku muttered when Shikamaru left, "Troublesome brat..." He said with a smirk.
XxX
(Konoha Archive Library)
Naruto frowned as Atsuto shrugged, "Shiho didn't come in today Naruto. I don't know what to tell you."
"Well has she ever missed before?" Naruto asked, getting a shake of the head as his response, "Well let me go check on her, she might be sick or hurt, or something really bad."
Atsuto nodded, he couldn't leave to go check on her the way he wanted to. She may have been his apprentice, but he had to keep watch over the library as well. He wrote out her address on a sticky note, "Here. This is where she lives since you still probably don't know." At that Naruto grinned sheepishly, "Make sure she's alright and if she isn't, come get me." Naruto nodded and ran off on his way.
XxX
After a few minutes of searching, Naruto found the right address. Shiho appeared to live in a nice sized two floor home across town from him. No wonder she didn't want him to walk her home, it was so far away. But she shouldn't have known that, he never said anything about where he lived.
He knocked on the door, "Shiho-chan, it's Naruto. Are you okay? You didn't come in today." No response. He knocked and waited three more times before getting nervous and picking the lock, a skill he was proud to say he had learned all on his own from when he would leave his key inside his house and lock himself out. It was kind of awkward explaining to passing ANBU about why you were trying to break into your own house and he could swear behind those masks those guys were laughing... bastards.
Naruto felt the lock click open and made his way inside, "Holy crap!" He exclaimed once he got a look at Shiho's ground floor. The entire ground level was a maze of bookshelves filled with books of all kinds, "How does someone live in all of this?" He started making his way through, calling out her name, but getting no response.
Something finally hit him, "Duh." He crossed his arms and shut his eyes to let off a pulse of his location jutsu. He had gotten better with it now. He still had trouble with walls and things, but he could catch a person's presence in the woods pretty well if his training with his team was anything to go by and he didn't need the hand-seals anymore. He got a signal and began to make his way over to where he sensed her only to find a massive pile of books, "Shiho-chan? I sensed you over here, where are you?"
He heard a muffled cry from underneath all of the books, "Wah!" He made a mass of Kage Bunshin who all helped him pick up the books where he found Shiho at the bottom, crying tears of joy, "Are you alright?"
She nodded, "Thank you so much Uzumaki-kun." She said, getting helped to her feet by the clones who then started looking around, "I was trying to get something down to study from this morning when all of a sudden that whole pile fell down on top of me. And I live alone you see, so I didn't have anyone to call." She let out a sigh of relief only to see Naruto looking at her strangely.
"You live alone?" He asked, "But all the time when you had to leave before I could offer to take you home you always said you had to leave right then or you'd get into trouble."
Shiho looked down, "Well I didn't want you to see my house Uzumaki-kun. I was afraid that you would think I was even weirder than before if you saw that I lived... well... here." She said, gesturing to the books that made up her bottom floor.
Naruto shook his head, "Well that's stupid. I don't care that you have books Shiho-chan... I mean, there are a lot, but so what? I like all kinds of ramen, you like all kinds of books. We're both weird I guess." He said, getting a smile out of her, "What happened to you family?"
Shiho smiled apologetically, "Well my father was killed in the attack by the Kyuubi, and my mother suffered serious injuries from it that never really healed you see. She died when I was five."
Naruto frowned deeply, "Wow, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to bring anything bad up Shiho-chan."
Shiho momentarily placed Naruto's face with the Kyuubi, but quickly wiped that thought aside. The real Kyuubi wouldn't have cared anything at all about her parents. The real Kyuubi wouldn't even have helped her out or even tried befriending her. As a matter of fact, Naruto was tormenting the Kyuubi with his very existence. Keeping it trapped, unable to do a single thing, and that brought a smile to her face, "It's okay. It was a long time ago. At least I got to know her. You never knew either one of yours so I can't really complain."
Naruto grinned at her, "Aw, I got used to it when I was little. There's nothing crying over it will solve so why waste time with it, plus I've always had my brother Menma."
"Exactly." Shiho said cheerfully, "But none of these books are really mine. They all belonged to my mother. She worked at the Konoha Archive Library as a part of the Cryptanalysis Squad until her death and she filled the house with all of these. She's the reason I do what I do now. She encouraged me when she realized I might be really good at it so when Atsuto-sensei offered me the chance I jumped at it." She cleared her throat, "But anyway, what did you need to see me for?"
Naruto remembered why he came looking for her, "Oh, well I'm leaving on a C-ranked mission tomorrow and Asuma-sensei said I would probably be gone for a while so I'm just telling you that I won't be around for a bit."
Shiho gave him a stern glance for a moment, "Amount of exits in the house at first glance Uzumaki-kun? Know your surroundings."
Naruto rolled his eyes, "The amount of windows on the front of your house would make me believe between 5 and 7. Two are doors, front and back. The others would be windows but that's just for down here. I wouldn't know about upstairs, I didn't think about it."
"Very good, it's seven by the way. You see, making you read that section of tactics on knowing your location did help. Now give me the number of choke points you can find in this floor." She said.
Naruto looked around blankly before turning back to her with his eyes squinted, "Um, really? Because with the bookcases and everything that would take a while to put together. Shiho-chan I could trap an entire platoon in here if I had to. Ask Shikamaru about that, Asuma-sensei said his IQ is like over 200."
Shiho blushed at the implementation of Naruto's teammate's name and laughed sheepishly, but he chalked that up to him embarrassing her about the state of her home, "Well nevermind then. Anyway, good luck on your mission. I know you'll do great." She said to him.
Naruto grinned at her, "You know it! Alright, now I have to go pack." He turned to quickly and abruptly leave by running but wound up smashing his face into a bookcase. He steadied it and proceeded to watch his step all the way out the door, "Bye Shiho-chan!"
XxX
(The Next Day)
Naruto, Menma, Shikamaru, and Ino were all standing out in front of the Hokage Tower in front of Asuma, "So today's the day. Are you all ready?" He got four nods before pulling out a scroll, "I already picked your mission for you so we could get started. Anything to say?" He asked.
Naruto shook his head excitedly, "No more useless chores."
Ino frowned, "Why didn't we get to pick?"
Shikamaru rubbed his shoulder, "How far away is it? I don't want to have to carry this pack too far for too long."
Asuma sweatdropped, "While he said it in the most ass way possible, Shikamaru was the only one that asked the right question. We're to be heading to the village of Toui, three days away from here to deliver a letter meant to be received by Kusagakure. We'll meet up with a squad of Kusa ninja once we arrive. Questions?"
Menma raised his hand, "Are we going to have to fight anything?"
Asuma shrugged, "Maybe. There's always a chance of combat when you leave the village, but if you're asking if we're going to directly be forced to fight then no. Missions like this don't normally anticipate conflict. There's little chance of danger on these."
Shikamaru sighed, "Walking all the way to a far-off village... That's just what I wanted to do for a week." He said sarcastically.
Asuma raised an eyebrow, "Okay, I can just take this mission back and exchange it for a day's worth of nice, easy-going D-ranks. I hear the Academy commissioned some help in moving the new equipment into all of the classrooms and taking old equipment out. All of the classrooms."
Ino and Menma grabbed Shikamaru's arms and dragged him away from the tower, "There's no need for that sensei!" Ino said cheerfully, "Come on, let's go before we lose the daylight!"
"It's morning Ino, we have all day." Shikamaru commented, letting himself be dragged because hey, that was just ground he didn't have to cover himself by walking.
XxX
(A Few Hours Later)
Naruto looked around himself as Team 10 continued on their way to Toui. On the road like this, Naruto's team position was as human sonar. Having so much chakra meant that every two minutes or so Naruto could let out a pulse to scout the area around them. Iruka said he would never be able to use the jutsu the way Naruto could and stay battle ready, but Naruto chalked it up to his massive chakra reserves and took it as a blessing, "We're pretty far away from Konoha by now aren't we?" He asked, getting a nod from everyone else, "Good." He said, taking a pack of cigarettes from his pocket and lighting it up in his mouth.
Ino looked at him, shaking her head, "That will kill your lungs Naruto. You should really stop. I'm surprised you don't smell like an ashtray by now. Asuma-sensei too."
Naruto looked over at her, "I can't help it. They're not that bad. And I smoked an entire carton's worth-."
"Three cartons worth." Asuma interjected, smoking his own cigarette carelessly.
"Right." Naruto said, "-Three cartons worth of cigarettes at once and I didn't feel it once until after I was done. And that was in my stomach. And Asuma kicks our asses and runs circles around you guys and he smokes two packs a day at least."
Asuma nodded, 'Well my reasons for not being affected too badly by it are different than yours. I channel chakra to my lungs to tone down the damage, you have a demon in you kid. Not that you know that.'
Sighing in defeat, Ino threw her hands into the air, "Fine, I give up. Two of the people on my team are now addicted to smoking. If Menma or Shikamaru starts too I'm going to lose it."
Shikamaru rose to her remark, "Yeah as if. I'd never pick up that habit. It's too much work. First you've got to pull the cigarette from the pack, then you've got to put it in your mouth and light it, then you've got to breathe it in and out without killing yourself in the process, and then no matter what, 30 or 40 years later you die anyway. It's too troublesome."
"You being lazy is a good thing for once." Ino said, "Who would have figured?"
Asuma signaled them to a stop, "Okay, let's see your packs." The group looked at each other in confusion until he elaborated, "I need to make sure you all brought what you needed for this mission so packs off, this is for a grade." He joked.
He looked through Shikamaru's first, "Good. You've got a good amount of equipment and rations for a mission of this length. Clothes to change into... and it's all placed in here neatly." He gave Shikamaru a dry look, "Your mother packed this for you didn't she?"
Shikamaru didn't have a hint of shame towards admitting it, "She said I needed to redo it and I said it was too much trouble."
"Of course she did." Asuma passed it back to Shikamaru, "I'll tell her to make you do it yourself next time and see how lenient she'll be if you don't." Shikamaru paled as Asuma moved on to Naruto, "Okay Naruto, you're up." Naruto handed his bag over, letting Asuma look through it, "You have a good amount of clothes to change into, you have good rations, but a lot are instant ramen cups."
Naruto shrugged, "What? They're fast, easy to make, and they have energy... at least to me. And they're cheap."
"Fair enough." Asuma said as he kept checking, "You went kind of spartan on the weapons and tools though. Only kunai and shuriken, and not many of those."
"Those aren't so cheap and easy to get for me Asuma-sensei. I don't pay sticker price for most stuff. 'Taxes' they say." Naruto said. He could tell that Naruto was confused about why, but apparently from the way he dismissed it he was used to it.
Asuma kept the growl out of his voice lest Naruto think he was angry with him. He'd be paying a few stores a visit once they got back home. Most stores that sold weapons were run part-time by shinobi, shinobi that weren't afraid of retaliation from a fresh genin for hiking up prices, "It's alright Naruto, we'll get you rightly outfitted when you get back."
Next he looked into Menma's, "Okay, you have a good amount of clothes, a decent amount of food-" But then he saw that Menma didn't have any weapons and packed two books from the Icha Icha paradise series.
"Menma where are your weapons?"Asuma questioned.
Menma smirked, "The only weapons I need are these." Menma said pointing to the three swords on his back. Then he noticed how they looked, he never really realized how expensive those swords looked and if Menma had to deal with the same 'Taxes' Naruto was talking about there was no way he would be able to pay for them.
"You bought those?" Asuma asked.
"Are you kidding me? With the taxes that those store clerks add on there is no way I'd be able to afford it. These were a gift from Master Miyamo-"
"It's okay Menma I understand." Asuma interrupted before Menma began to reveal too much about his past.
Ino put a hand on Menma's shoulder, "If you need to I'm sure you can stock up on some things from my house. We have tons of stuff that we keep too much of anyway. It's got to be hard keeping your own place and buying everything for yourself." Ino didn't rightly get it but the only tax she was aware of was sales tax and that wasn't much. He also said it plural so that meant more than one tax, 'What taxes?'
"Thanks Ino." Menma said with a grateful smile through his Icha Icha paradise book as he placed his pack back onto his form and they continued on the road towards their distant destination, "Is this village even in Hi no Kuni Asuma-sensei?"
"Nope." The bearded jounin responded, "You're all getting to see the world for the first time. Isn't that half the reason why you joined in the first place? The shinobi forces of Konohagakure no Sato; join up, meet interesting people, kill them." He noticed the owlish looks he was getting from his genin, "Um... That used to be the old slogan back when I was a chunin."
XxX
(Three Days Later)
"Damn it you two can't take this from me!" Asuma said almost hysterically as they entered the town they were intended to be in, "One of the things I was looking forward to as a jounin sensei was watching you all fall off the side of a tree on your heads for a week! You were going to be the most entertaining one!"
Naruto and Menma looked at Asuma strangely Naruto then spoke up, "Sorry Asuma-sensei, but it was an exercise in the Neibaiken scroll. Sticking to surfaces with chakra. And a week? We just now got it, how the hell did you figure it would take a week?"
Asuma calmed down, "Well it's a chakra control exercise. Since you have the reserves of at least 10 regular Jonin, exercises like that are always going to be rough on you. I'm surprised you didn't come to me about this."
Menma turned away, "Well we're not going to walk up to you and say we can't get two steps up a tree. It was our own training. I'm sure when Ino and Shikamaru can't get their own clan stuff down they can't just come to you about it."
Asuma scratched his head, "Well they have family members that are shinobi Menma. You don't. I'm the one that's supposed to be responsible for you, and if you can't get something you shouldn't hesitate to come to me."
Ino looked at him inquiringly, "So you can walk up stuff now? Like that wall. If you walked up to it you could stick to it?"
Menma nodded, "Yep. I can do it for my hands too." He kept his hand wide and stuck his palm to Ino's arm, "Now if I get a hold of you, good luck getting me off. Try." Ino jerked her arm around but found herself unable to even budge Menma.
She stopped struggling, "You're sticking to the ground too aren't you?"
Menma let go of her arm and they all kept walking, "You've got it. "
"Alright Menma stop showing off." Shikamaru said, "We're not in Konoha and I really don't want anyone we could end up fighting knowing how you're going to fight them." Menma nodded and continued down the street alongside his team.
Menma repeatedly poked at Ino sides who poked him back, only he was able to get his fingers to stick to her when he did it, which felt weirder to her, giving him an advantage. He rather liked having the shoe on the other foot, and felt he could afford to mess with his fellow blonde because he could sense anything around them. No one was going to get the drop on him. Thus, Menma continued messing with Ino, only this time when he stuck a finger to her side he used the rest of them on his hand to tickle her to get her to stop poking him and concede defeat.
The villagers of Toui were treated to the sight of a blackish-grey haired boy with a Konoha headband, whisker marks, and black clothes grinning madly while tickling one of Konoha's famous Yamanaka Clan in the middle of their street while she was trying to take a swing at him. In order to stop his students from acting up any further, Asuma lifted them up and separated them between him, "Asuma-semsei you're no fun, I almost had her." Menma said once it was over.
"As if Menma." Ino said, regaining her composure, and trying to glower, the occasional chuckle and small blush on her face blowing her poise.
Asuma smirked, "Sorry Menma, it's work time. You can find Ino to play with after we're home and safe." He said suggestively, however it went over both of their heads.
Menma rolled his eyes and placed his hands behind his head as they kept walking, "Whatever. Ino's got better things to do than hang out with me when she's free. She does that enough already."
"No I don't. Not really." She disputed his statement, "It's kind of hard to meet up with the people I used to know in the Academy now that we're genin. I see you guys more than anyone else these days. *sigh* I can't even find Sasuke-kun around. If they're anywhere near as busy as us then Forehead is hogging all the prime Uchiha time and I'll never get to see him."
Naruto and Shikamaru shared a look of distaste before returning their faces to normal, lest Ino see them and chew them out. Naruto had gotten his ear talked off several times in the past for shooting down anything Sasuke related.
Asuma's face suddenly hardened over as his eyes caught something down the road, "Look alive you guys." Down the road was a group with Kusa headbands. All three including the one perceived as the jounin were also looking at their Konoha counterparts with completely business-like looks on their faces. The two groups met in the middle of the street, all civilians clearing out in case of a full-out shinobi dogfight in the middle of the village.
Asuma walked forward, as did the leader of the Kusa team. Asuma simply handed over the scroll from earlier to the man, got a bow in return, and went back to his team as did the other man. Asuma prompted his team to walk away, and they did, all the way out of the village. "Well." Asuma said, placing a cigarette in his mouth, "Mission complete!" He said, getting all of his genin to face-fault.
Naruto jumped to his feet, "What the hell was that? That was it?"
"Yep!" Asuma replied brightly, "What? Were you expecting fireworks or something?"
Naruto blinked at him blankly at how he was just playing it off. To hell with that, this was his first real mission, he was pissed, "Yeah, actually I was!" Naruto barked at him, "What was with the old-school showdowny faceoff in the middle of town if we weren't going to fight? That was just a waste of good tension, my eye was almost twitching! Ino held her breath so long I thought she was going to pass out!" He pointed at Ino who was taking huge gulps of air while Shikamaru rubbed her back and muttering obscenities under his breath.
Asuma laughed loudly at how his genin had interpreted the whole scene, "That? All of that was just formality kid. We might be allied with Kusa, but ninja will be ninja, and we don't trust each other as a bylaw. That was just all theatrics. Although I'm glad none of you blew it by sneezing or something. Then that guy and his genin would have been laughing their heads off all the way back to their village. They already knew you were a bunch of babyfaced newbies, no need to give them a reason to try and pick with you."
Menma raised his eyebrow, "Those other guys were genin? That was a genin team? Those guys looked like they were all 18 or something." He then had another thought, "Are we going to be genin that long too? That would suck... picking up dog shit and shopping for old people on a daily basis..." The entire team shivered at the thought of running D-ranks at that age, "I'd rather do C-ranks like this. This was actually pretty low-key, I like it."
Asuma shrugged, "Well, get good enough to pass the chunin exams and escape this horrible existence as a genin and you can run C-ranks on a regular basis. Or you can underachieve and you can stay like those guys, doing odd jobs and getting to leave the village once every blue moon. It's up to how good you want to be really. That and whether or not we're at war, but that's a whole different set of circumstances." Asuma took the cigarette from his mouth and exhaled, "Yep. Back to Konoha and good old D-ranks for you guys. Good job back there."
Ino crossed her arms and grumbled, "Yeah we did great." She said sarcastically, "We sure scared the other team with our mad dog faces. Oh well... at least the pay should be good."
(The Next Morning)
Naruto had been looking up for about five minutes. They had all taken shifts on keeping watch, and he had the last shift, thus leaving him with the morning run. About right around the time just after the sun came up, a hawk was circling above the camp... and Naruto hadn't the faintest idea on what to do.
"Hey squirt, how you doing?" Asuma said as he alerted Naruto that he was up and about, "You feel dead on your feet yet? Want to crash out in your own bed once we get home yet?" Naruto shook his head, "Damn. You fucking ball of energy."
"Energy and win." Naruto corrected, "The win's the most important part. I'd hate to be a ball of energy and fail." He then pointed up, "What is that thing doing up there?"
Asuma squinted and saw the hawk before signaling it down to him. He took a scroll from the animal and sent it back from where it came. Once he read it he let out a sigh and rolled it back up, "Naruto, go get Ino, Menma Shikamaru and you guys break up camp. We're moving out in a hurry."
Naruto was confused, "What was that Asuma-sensei?"
Asuma looked down at his diminutive genin, "That Naruto, was one of Konoha's messenger hawks, and the message was for us to back up another squad already dispatched on a mission to Nami no Kuni. Sending a whole squad of chunin would be a waste of resources since there's already a whole genin squad and a jounin there so we're going to help out." He pulled out his first cigarette of the day irritably.
Naruto looked at how angrily he lit it up and had to comment, "Is this going to be one of those days you keep telling us about?" Asuma's only response was to stick a cigarette into Naruto's mouth and light it.
Asuma placed his lighter back into his pocket and looked at the freshly risen sun, "All I'm going to say is you better enjoy that."