He's still in executive mode.
"I'll be right back," he murmurs and walks through the great room toward his bedroom without sparing me a glance.
Maybe I should just save him the trouble of telling me it's over and leave now. I know he's mad, and I wasn't expecting a scene from a movie where we run toward each other in slow motion and hold on for dear life. We saw each other just yesterday morning, for Pete's sake, but I was hoping for something a little warmer than that.
My heels click on the hardwood as I walk to the couch and gather my purse and wrap, and then I head to the front door. My hand is on the knob when I hear his hard voice across the room.
"If you walk through that door, so help me God, Julianne, I will tie you to my bed."
I lower my head and sigh. I'm so confused. He wants me to stay?
"Look at me." It's not a request.
I turn around and face him. He's changed into a soft gray t-shirt and black jeans, and his hair is down. He's shed his professional clothes, and is just a man standing before me.
An angry man.
"Where are you going?" he asks and crosses his arms over his chest.
"Home."
"Why?"
"You don't seem to be terribly happy to see me." I'm proud of keeping my voice steady despite the tears that want to come.
God, I'm such a girl.
Regret moves through his eyes and he frowns and runs a hand through his hair. He doesn't say anything for a long moment, and I take that to mean that I'm right. I close my eyes and hang my head, bracing myself for the goodbye.
"It's okay, Nate. I get it. I'll go." I turn back toward the door and before I know what's happening, Nate twirls me around and grips my shoulders in his large, strong hands, holding me in front of him, his feral eyes trained on mine. He's panting, and he's just so angry.
"You are not running again."
"I'm not going to stay where I'm not wanted."
"What are you talking about?"
"I've barely heard from you since last night. You won't talk to me. You're cold and distant. I'm not an idiot, Nate, I know when someone's trying to break it off."
He clenches his teeth and closes his eyes, then looks at me with such need my knees almost buckle.
"I don't know how to deal with how I feel for you. I was a wreck yesterday when I couldn't reach you. No one at the office knew where you ran off to, and you wouldn't answer me. When you finally did call me, you brushed me off and told me I'm ridiculous and that our relationship is bullshit."
"That's not what I…"
"That's what you said," he interrupts me and grips me tighter. "No one hurts me, Julianne. No one. I don't give a flying fuck what anyone thinks of me. That's what got me through fighting, and it's what's gotten me to where I am now. And then you came into my life, and you just blindsided me. I am so fucking wrapped up in you I can't see straight, and you tell me I'm a caveman for wanting to protect you and that our relationship is bullshit."
Tears are running down my cheeks at the despair and loss on his face. My God, I had no idea his feelings for me are so strong. That he feels for me the same way that I feel for him.
I've never been so relieved and devastated at the same time. How am I going to fix this?
"I don't know how to deal with it either, Nate." I cup his face in my hands. "I was so sure that you were finished with me, that I'd pissed you off so badly that we couldn't fix it. I didn't mean that our relationship is bullshit. I didn't." I stress this and look him dead in the eyes. He's watching me, listening, and I continue.
"Everything happened so fast yesterday. I was a mess, and I'm never a mess. You were gone, Carly at work was bragging to me about how she's banging you and running off to New York with you," Nate blanches, but I keep going before he can speak. "And then Luke called, freaking out because Nat's water broke. I just left and went to the hospital, forgetting everything else." I take a deep breath and wipe the tears still flowing down my cheeks away with my fingers.
"When Natalie finally agreed to take the meds, I checked my phone and saw that you'd been trying to reach me, and I called you right away. I swear, I didn't mean to hurt you at all, but I was annoyed that you were annoyed with me, and I had so much going through my head. I said the wrong thing, and I apologize again."
"Jules, I'm sure I could have handled things better too, I just…" he swallows and looks down, carefully choosing his words. "I just hate the fact that I have this primal need inside of me to protect you. I've never felt this about anyone before, and you just don't need me. I'm so proud of you for being the independent, confident, intelligent woman you are, but you don't need me, and I want to take care of you, more than you will ever know."
He releases my shoulders and runs his hands down my arms to link his fingers in mine. He's so wrong. I do need him.