I feel the blood leave my face, but I don't flinch. It's the hardest thing I've ever done.
"Hello," I murmur and shake her hand, then step back, avoiding Nate's gaze. I can feel his eyes on me, silently begging me to look at him.
Fuck him.
"Bye babe," Audrey waves at Nate and saunters out of the room, and I decide to make a hasty escape as Mrs. Glover watches.
"I really do have to go." I back toward the door. "Let's reschedule our meeting for Monday."
"Julianne," I vaguely hear him say my name but I ignore him and walk quickly, and with all the dignity I can muster, with my head up, out of his office. I know he won't follow me, not with Mrs. Glover and anyone else still in the office watching.
I use this to my advantage, quickly gather my handbag and jacket and leave the office, just catching the elevator.
What in the name of all that's holy just happened?
Nate's married? Married?
How is that possible?
My hands start to shake with adrenaline, and I just need to get the hell out of here. Once in my car, I race out of the underground parking lot and fight downtown traffic. Tears have started to fall, and they piss me off because I never cry, and he's made me cry twice this week.
I hear my iPhone ringing in my handbag and I ignore it. I can't talk to him. I don't want to hear his excuses.
I risked my career for him. But even worse than that, I risked my heart.
Fuck.
My phone continues to ring. He just hangs up then dials again. Finally, I rummage in my bag, pull out the phone and turn it off.
I don't want to go home. He'll just come there and I don't want to see him, so I go to the only other place I can think of.
I need Natalie.
I guide my little red Lexus through their gate and down to their beautiful, white, modern home. I ring the bell, and frown. I hope I'm not waking Nat up from a nap. She's so pregnant. Luke made her stop working a few weeks ago, and she's been taking it easy.
Natalie answers the door, takes in my tear-streaked face and steps back.
"What's happened?"
"I don't want to talk about it." I close the door behind me and she holds her arms open for me. "How do I maneuver around this thing?" I ask and hug her over her baby bump.
"Where there's a will, there's a way, believe me." She hugs me close and strokes her hand down my hair. "What's going on, sweetie?"
I shake my head, pull back and rub her belly. "She's almost here."
Natalie smiles widely and covers my hand with hers. "I'm scared out of my fucking mind."
"You'll be fine. Luke and I will be there. I'll kick the doctor's ass if anything happens to either one of you."
"That's why I have you. You're the brawn in this operation." We laugh and I follow her through the great room into the kitchen. From behind, you'd never know she was pregnant. She's hardly gained any weight, mostly due to the horrible morning sickness she's had. Natalie is the most beautiful woman I've ever seen, and I've seen plenty of beautiful women. She has long chestnut brown hair, green eyes, and her body is kickin' with luscious curves.
But her heart is the most beautiful part of her. She is kind and generous to a fault.
She thinks I don't know that she paid off my parents' mortgage last year. Of course I know.
"Tea?" she asks and fills a kettle in the kitchen sink.
"Please." I sit on a stool at the breakfast bar and hang my head in my hands, my thoughts returning to Nate.
"Hey, Jules," Luke smiles at me as he walks in the room from his office. He kisses me on the cheek then moves into the kitchen and wraps his arms around Natalie, kissing her deeply, his hands roaming to her belly.
"Jesus, guys, really? I just got here."
Luke pulls back and smiles smugly at me and Natalie goes back to making tea. He really is a handsome son of a bitch with messy blonde hair and the bluest eyes ever. And he treats Nat like a goddess, so I can't help but love him.
"What's up, Jules? You don't look so good." He leans his hips on the countertop and crosses his arms, frowning.
I shrug and look into the great room at all the baby gear. "There's a lot of pink going on here."
I see Nat and Luke share a worried glance, then they both look back at me. I'm so not getting out of here without spilling the beans, but I'm not ready yet. Maybe if I don't talk about it, it didn't happen.
"It's a girl, Jules." Natalie smiles and me and rubs her belly.
"I know. Thank God. I'm going pink crazy myself." I grin and feel my eyes widen when Natalie flinches. "What's wrong?"
"She's kicking the shit out of me."
"Oh, I wanna feel!" I run around the island and kneel before her. She guides my hands where the baby is and I lay my face on her belly, listening.
"This would be so much more fun if you two were naked," Luke remarks, earning a slap from Nat.
"Shut up, perv," I mumble and caress the baby bump while Nat runs her fingers through my blonde curls. Oh, how I've missed them. Suddenly the enormity of what happened in Nate's office hits me, and my loneliness for my best friend overwhelms me and I feel the tears start to roll down my cheeks.
"Hey," Nat murmurs and continues to soothe me. "Jules, what is it? You never cry."
I shake my head again and feel the baby kick my right hand. Oh, I can't wait to meet her.
"Do you want me to leave?" Luke asks and starts to move away from the counter.
"No, stay." I sigh and sit back on my heels, still holding onto Natalie. I know they are confused and concerned, but they just watch me warily. Finally, without looking up, I whisper, "He's married."