REBIRTH: HER SORROW
~~~~|~~~~
Did you ever believed me?
Why? How could you.
I was there when you were in your worst.
I'm the one who wiped your tears.
I was there.
I didn't left your side.
Struggles. Problems. Pain.
I endured it all, for you.
But, Your heart was never mine.
Why? Why can't you love me?
Why am I always my sister's shadow?
Between My sister and I?
You chose her. I know.
I'm desperate. Desperate for affection.
I wanted attention. I wanted to love and to be loved.
But, No.
I am my sister's shadow.
And a shadow is always a shadow.
If ever I live again. I won't love you. I won't hate you. But there is no "if" in this world.
~~~~
She stared at her sister, tears falling in her eyes, whispering.
"Jie-Jie"
She was watching her sister dancing, with a man.
A man who she loved for many years. Sacrificing her youthful years. Biting her lower lip she could only cry silently.
Turning her back she couldn't see the man's gentle smile when her sister pouted. She was so young when she fell inlove with this man. But the man never noticed her, Never looked at her, not even a single glance. But when her sister left him.
She was the one who supported him. She was the one who cheered him up. She managed to make him smile and laugh.
But there is no thing in this world that will last forever. Happiness? Sooner or later you'll feel miserable just like her. An hour of happiness was equivalent to a decade of sorrow.
She went back to her own room. Not noticing a shadow following her.
Picking up a brush, ink and paper. She sat down.
Dear Jie,
I wanted to see the future too. I wanted it too. There's so many thing in this world that I want. Our parents attention and love. All those things, You have it. All the things that you have, I wanted to have it too. But the god was unfair, He gave all of his love for you and forgot me. Yes , I got jealous. Who wouldn't? I'm deeply sorry, How could the General's daughter act like this. I'm not financially poor, My parents are alive, Have a lovely sister and a protective brother. But My parents didn't love me. And I'm jealous to my sister and My brother? He is protective. Really protective but not to me, but to you, my elder sister. You already have Ge-ge's love, can't you give me some too? Jie? You have what I want to have.
If ever I live again. I, Ning ShuFen will never love him. Will never seek attention and love from anyone.
Shufen put the brush down. She stared at her pale hands, Calloused. She wanted to be pretty too. But she sacrificed it already for him. If ever there is medicine for regret then She, Ning Shufen will drink it immediately. Unfortunately there is no.
Shefen let her long hair fell down. Holding her hair pin. She stared at it. The phoenix was carved to it perfectly. This was a gift given by a mysterious man in a black robe. She can still feel his intense stare. Gulping. Sweat filled her body.
Now, It will end. She thanked the man for this. He was the one who saved her from being abused sexually. Although they didn't get to eat her, They had caressed her body, Sucking, licking and biting. Disgust filled her. Stop now. It will end.
Smiling sadly she went to her bed and grab a cup. It was filled by a toxic poison, even just by smelling it will make the person dizzy.
As she drank it she held her phoenix pin tightly. Tears fell as her broken heart continued to break.
*BANG*
She felt her door was kicked open. Shufen saw her sister, Who was standing there, Shocked. Mouth wide open. Slowly tears fell down as she stared at Shufen's Body.
"NOOOO!!!"
Screaming so hard. Her breathing was heavy. She ran hugging Shufen's body.
"I'm sorry"
Shufen's last words was heard by her sister. She wailed, screamed and cried loud. Not caring about her image.
*****
Just want to share my crazy imagination.