In a small village deep within the mountains in the Trest county of the kingdom of Streta.
*Sha Sha*
I often compared myself to the 4 seasons and the more I compared, the more depressed I felt. Spring, summer, autumn, and winter. 4 seasons, of which each season was unique in its own way.
Comparison was truly the demise of joy. All 4 seasons had their purpose to exist. Love it or hate it, everyone would know about the 4 seasons. They were necessary for the world to run properly. If any of them were to disappear, countless living creatures would be affected.
Compared to the 4 seasons, my life truly seems to have less… "Life" than they do.
A young boy who seemed to have the whole world on his shoulders pondered as he slowly trudged along a snowy path. Passing by the only park in the village, the sound of children playing in the snow could be heard.
"Hah, our snowman is bigger than yours. We win."
"You're lying! Our snowman is obviously bigger than your one."
"Not anymore." screamed one of the children as he started throwing snowballs at the snowman trying to destroy it. However, probably because the child didn't have enough strength, the snowballs fell at the base of the snowman creating the illusion that it was growing bigger and bigger.
Different people greet the 4 seasons in different ways. Taking for example… the current season in the village, the heavy snow covering the village was a clear sign of winter. Children, such as the ones playing in the park, would find this snow-filled world to be a very fun and exciting environment. To them, snow is something very soft to the touch and is just something pleasant in general. They get to make snowmen and spend time having snowball fights. It's something they can't do in the other seasons, so they welcome the winter with open arms.
A perspective of the world which only lets you see the good in everything. It's a nice way to look at the world around oneself. Unfortunately, only a young child whose mind has yet to become impure is truly capable of looking at the world using such a perspective.
As they grow up, children get exposed to the cruel reality of this world and this in turn molds that pure and innocent child into a mature grownup. Of course, there are always exceptions. The reason children's eyes can only see the good in the world is because of their ignorance regarding the true nature of the world outside of their small fairytale. But, if a child were to be brought out of their protective greenhouse and exposed to reality earlier on in their life, one of two different possibilities could take place.
For one, the child's mind would be unable to cope up with the sudden changes and would cause the child to experience a huge change in their personality. Many would fall into varying levels of depression and be scarred for life while others would just lose all hope and give up on life.
The other possibility is that the child manages to keep up with all the changes that happen around them. This strips them of their childlike mindset and forces them to mature earlier than they should. It would give them the ability to look at the world through the eyes of an adult. The latter possibility is not necessarily better than the former one. It steals away a very important phase of their life from people. Unfortunately, most people never really get to choose which path they follow. Their fate was set in stone the moment they were born. I am also such a person. I fall into it… rather… fell into the latter category. If you asked me what I thought about the winter I would simply reply,
"------ I hate everything about it".
After all, what is there to truly like about snow? It transforms the entire world around us into a dull and monotone place. It steals away all possible forms of warmth and leaves you helpless. It makes it impossible to grow crops. Most trees shed and lose all their leaves as they crawl underground and patiently wait for the next season, similar to how bears sleep through the winter.
"It feels like I'm trapped in an endless field of white, like a prisoner. It's suffocating."
The penetrating cold which threatens to freeze a person from the inside out only kept getting worse. This environment only makes a person feel isolated. As if they were the only thing that existed.
Although I've grown numb to it after so many years, I hate this sort of feeling the most. The feeling of solitude.
I stopped walking across the park and stared blankly at my "peers" who still saw the world through the 'eyes of a child'.
"Why are we so different, even though we're both children…?" I find myself asking this question very frequently.
"Hey, hey Fuuko. Guess what? Yesterday the village chief asked my dad to become his personal bodyguard".
"Huh? For real? That's so cool. Doesn't that mean that your family now serves the village chief? That's so cool."
"Yeah, it's all thanks to my dad. He just broke through to the third stage of the Mortal realm yesterday. As soon as the news traveled to the village chief's manor, he visited our house and asked my dad to become his bodyguard. Isn't that awesome? I also want to grow up and be like my dad".
"Of course. Itsuki will grow up to be someone greater than his dad."
"That's so cool. I wish my dad was like that as well".
"We'll be counting on you in the future, Itsuki"
"Hahaha. No problem. If you guys ever need something, just come and tell me and I'll ask my dad to help you out".
"Really!!? Then I'll be in your care Itsuki-nii."
"Itsuki!!! It's time to go home now" shouted a robust man as he approached the park.
"Ah! My dad's already here, I need to go back home now. I'll see you guys later" shouted the child named Itsuki as he waved his hand to the rest of the children while running towards his father.
Standing there silently, I watched the father-son duo leave the park together. Their backs grew smaller and smaller as time passed. Every time a similar situation occurred, I would feel a sense of loss and a weird feeling of tightness in my chest. It seemed as if, the warmer the other party was, the colder my heart became. It wasn't jealousy or anything of the sort, just…
"I feel empty…"
The strongest bond in the world was said to be the bond of family. To love and care for your closest kin is something that gives life meaning. It's a parent's duty to ensure that their children don't get exposed to the trials of life too early.
"That's what it is in the end."
The difference between me and them. They had a family to shelter them from the dangers of the world. In my case, I was never fortunate enough to experience the feeling of having a family to call my own.
Ever since I could remember, I was taken care of by an old man. We lived in a rundown shack near the borders of the village. Although going to school is something normal for children my age, I was never sent to school. Everything I knew was taught to me by the old man. He seemed to know about a lot of things which other people didn't know about.
The stories he told me opened my eyes to the outside world and taught me about things outside the village. He taught me how to speak and write. He was the only person I could call family even though we weren't related. However, shortly after becoming 7 years old I lost him as well. It's not like he passed away or anything. He just… disappeared.
After the father-son duo had completely faded away from sight, I finally woke up from my thoughts and continued on my original journey.
Devoid of emotion, I continue to tread on this dull path that God had chosen for me.