I don't know what she was going to say but I know I will be played by her, so I wanted to change the topic and catch her by surprise.
She was surprised a little and her brown eyes that were focused on me become wide. It worked, I felt some happiness in the inside, it's kind of rare to see her with this kind of expressions. Well... it's rare for me to say 'thank you' too.
It only took her few seconds to return to her normal smile but this time seems more playful.
"What are talking about?", she's playing stupid?, No with her head titled to the side, Is she playing cute?!!.
I found it wierd for a woman over forty that looks in her thirty to act like a teenage girl... I will never say that tough.
Sigh, nevertheless I think it's better to say it all, and get it out of my chest.
"Thank you for everything, first for helping my father in saving the company, second for helping me, If at that time you didn't tell me about the "New Dawn Academy" I wouldn't know what to do".
After the accident two years ago I lost my friends, my father company went through dare situation, she was able to keep the company from falling, and she gave me a chance after I lost my friends.
"Ooh you don't have to say that, It's embarrassing", she moved her hands to her cheeks and start to act like a shy teenage girl.
"You...", I almost snapped from anger, I was sincere and serious in what I said, but now I feel so embarrassed about it.
I decided to ignore her by keep on eating, but I just noticed that I finished my breakfast.
Sigh, I got up and took my plates to the dishwasher, it was a good chance to avoid looking at her sharp eyes.
Seeing my silently washing my dishes started to talk again, "It has been a year since I married your father, It was mostly to make a nice family for Suzu. He made the same choice for you. and to make sure that what happened two years ago when repeat itself".
I tensed, and my hand stopped moving, the memory of the accident never left me, but every time someone mention it directly. I feel my heart being stabbed.
She continued to talk ignoring my situation, "In the beginning it was just "like", and the wish to make a family for our children, you can say it was like a business deal, but soon I started to fall in love with his serious expression, his sharp eyes, his sleepy face, his.....".
"Pleas stop"
I couldn't help but to shout, her once gentle face changed to a face of a maiden in love, her face blushed and she put her hands on her checks. she will continue until someone stop her.
The once tense situation relaxed, and I continue to wash the dishes.
She looked at my frustration and giggle a little, "what I want to say that I love your father and I think about you as my son, so I want you to think of me and Suzu as a family".
So we are back to Suzu again, I don't think she will let it go this time.
I kept quite again, it's not like I didn't accept my father second marriage or I reject them, even my stuck relationship with my father has improved more than it was before what happened two years ago.
But I don't know how to be a part of a family. I was a lonely child, Since my mother died when I was 8 years old, my father start to return home less and less letting an old nanny take care of me, I only had two friends but they were gone after that accident.
I finished washing the dishes and put them in the drier, then I dried my hands silently.
Seeing my dilemma she said, "Suzu's birthday day is next week, we couldn't make one last year because we didn't settle at that time, but now me and your father decided to make a surprise party for her, maybe you can start from there".
Sigh, I hate how she can read me like an open book.
Her way in leading the conversation is amazing, she know when to insist on talking and when to stop, our discussions were all was like we are both holding the ends of a thin string.
When I get agitated and pull the string trying to cut the conversation, she can feel it and relax her hold on it. But when I relax my hold by not responding or being lost in thoughts she will pull the string and try to agitate me.
Her excellent negotiations skills was one of the reasons that saved my dad and his company.
I took my school bag and went to the front door.
"Ok, I will search for a nice gift for her".
I said that while going out, before I close the door I heard her chuckle, for some reason I felt some shiver goes down my spine.
"Did she play me again?!."