Chereads / Tip of the Tongue / Chapter 21 - Chapter 21

Chapter 21 - Chapter 21

Euphoric. Ren clenched Ashton's wrist with one hand and placed the other one on the back of his neck. His fangs pierced Ashton's skin with barely any resistance. Blood filled his mouth and he moaned as the sweet taste covered every taste bud. His eyes slid close as he pressed Ashton closer to him, afraid that any second the godly nectar was going to be ripped away from him. Ashton stood rigid for a few seconds, but the more Ren took from him, the more he sagged into Ren's embrace. 

The thing no longer scratched on its cage. It curled up inside of him, purring like a house cat being petted. Fireworks were bursting behind his eyelids. He gulped down drink after drink, yet it never felt like it was enough.

He pulled away, licking his lips and running his tongue over his fangs. When he opened his eyes, he looked at the bleeding wound. The small puncture wounds were already almost sealed and for some reason Ren liked that. He liked the sensation of his fangs sliding into Ashton and how the first gush of blood was the sweetest. He watched as the bite healed and just before it fully disappeared, he licked over it.

Ashton startled at the sudden touch. Ren pulled back further to look at his face.

His eyes were glazed over and his mouth was slightly hanging open.

Ren bit his bottom lip. His gut clenched. 

He inched closer. Ashton gazed back at him, but he looked so far away. Ren felt the same. He was flying in the clouds and everything around him was meaningless. The only thing that mattered was Ashton.

Ren just barely brushed his lips against Ashton's. He couldn't go further than that. As much as he wanted to kiss him as hard as he could, he still knew this was wrong. They weren't supposed to be together like this. 

He turned his head away. Before he could even process his thoughts, his mouth was moving back down to where he'd bitten Ashton. He slotted his mouth exactly over where he'd sunk his fangs in. Ashton's breath hitched. He grabbed onto Ren's biceps. Ren held onto him harder, sure that Ashton was going to push him away. He didn't though. They were frozen like that for a long period. 

"How much can you take?" Ren idly thought about how much he had to drain from Ashton before he passed out. 

"You can bite me again," he said. There was a slight quiver to his voice, but he was good at masking it. But Ren was so much better at reading him than he ever was before.

He could pick out the slightest change in Ashton's heartbeat, in every uptick of his breathing, and he could feel how Ashton's body tightened or loosened based on how he was feeling. This connection—whether it was the bond or not—had brought them closer.

Ren grabbed onto Ashton's hips. His hands were pressed so hard into his sides that he might have left bruises. Ren's gut twisted as he imagined Ashton's light skin covered in dark purple spots in the shape of his hands. The thing riled up, ecstatic at the imagery. There was an almost whisper in the back of his mind tempting him to do it and see if his imagination was close to reality. Because he knew the real thing would be so much better.

He felt only slightly ashamed at his meandering thoughts. His head was too fuzzy for him to see how fucking messed up his thoughts were becoming. 

Though his hunger was sated—and he could go on for the rest of the day on just this—he wanted more. He yearned for it.

Ashton clutched onto him. His lean body molded perfectly against Ren's as if they'd been made for each other. 

The second time he bit Ashton, it was a different experienced.

The first bite had been something new and had raised all his senses on high alert. He was still buzzing on the aftermath, his limbs full of static and he felt like he needed to run a mile to get it out of his system.

The second time was all about the pleasure. With his hunger sated, all there was to fulfill was his want and desire for the blood. Somewhere in there, his attraction for Ashton was lumped with the blood. They were almost one because the blood was part of Ashton.

Ren's brows furrowed as he drank deeply. Ashton was holding onto him completely now, sagging into Ren as he became weak from being drained.

Of course, Ren knew better than to think that Ashton was completely out of it. He could still feel a layer of strength that was greater than his own beneath the surface. And that made drinking from Ashton so much better. Ren had never been the strongest in the room. Even when it came to humans—who he was technically stronger than because he was half-vampire (and witch as well)—his confidence was so fragile they were able to beat him down with hateful looks and words.

Ren almost understood it now. He loved the way he was overpowering Ashton, taking from him as Ashton submitted to him. He took what he wanted and it didn't matter if he was draining Ashton down to the last drop. He didn't care. 

He moaned, nuzzling into Ashton's neck. His whole body was burning with how good it tasted. The blood flowed straight down and he felt himself get hard.

His eyes flew open.

He had to force himself to detach his fangs. A low whine escaped him, but he didn't give in for a second time. He couldn't even look down at the wound—at the mark he'd put on Ashton—because he would lose it. It took everything in him to step back and even then, he hadn't let Ashton out of his grip. 

I won't let him run. Not yet.

The absurd thought came out of nowhere. Ren wrinkled his nose and slightly shook his head as if that would be enough to get the ridiculous thoughts out of his head. 

Ashton looked up at him with blurry eyes. They were overcast with the same emotion Ren was feeling. Through the bond, Ren picked up the faint sensations of the bite and the draining. It was different than being the one to bite and drink, but the core feeling—the attraction—was the same. 

But the lust he'd been basking in, slowly faded. He came down from the high clouds, falling and crashing into reality.

Shame washed over him. Once his head was cleared, the gravity of what he'd done finally sunk in. Also the fact that he was hard and that he'd almost rutted against Ashton made him feel like a fucking idiot.

His ears rang and his throat tightened.

"Are you done?" Ashton's voice was gravelly. His pink cheeks made Ren want to bite him one more time, but he was just strong enough to shove that feeling down.

Ren's own throat was dry.

"Yeah," he croaked. He cleared his throat, turning his head away.

"Can you let go of my arm then?"

"Shit. Sorry."

Ren jerked his hand away like it had been burned. It really did feel like it was on fire, but only because he wasn't touching Ashton. The thing was howling. It was going ballistic. He wasn't hungry as he'd been before. Now, it was an addiction. It was a craving that made his mouth water thinking about it.

It was a good thing he wasn't looking at Ashton right then because he didn't know if he would have the strength to hold himself back if he saw Ashton's glazed eyes.

For a moment, they stood in silence. Ashton was looking at him. Ren could feel his gaze searing a hole into the side of his head. As uncomfortable as he was, he didn't move in case the thing took over for a split second. That would be game over for him. While Ashton was a fast healer, Ren really didn't want to find out how far the thing and his subconscious was willing to go.

The lump in his throat got bigger as he thought about how much he liked Ashton's blood. It hadn't been just about the blood. It was the demeaning lust that made him feel like a rabid animal that made him sick to his stomach. The affects of the blood were still thrumming through his body, running along the lines of his nerves, and he still had the sweet taste in his mouth.

Unconsciously, he licked his lips. 

He cursed himself. His mind wondered to the bite and how good it had felt. He wanted to do it all over again. It didn't matter if it was Ashton Mantel he was thinking about like this. It didn't matter at all.

"I hope you got your fill." Ren could see Ashton adjust himself from the corner of his eyes. 

Ashton touched his neck. His fingers grazed the once more healed wound. He paused with his hand there. Ren couldn't see his face all the way, but he saw enough to make out the far away look in Ashton's eyes. Ashton pulled his hand away, shaking off the stupor, and ran a hand through his messy hair. He tried to fix it, but it only ended up making it worse.

"I didn't…" He was going to say he didn't mean to, but it was such a lie. 

"Warn me next time," Ashton said. It was so offhanded it took Ren a second to actually process what he was saying.

Ren furrowed his brows. "What?"

Ashton turned away. He fixed his shirt that had come undone in the middle of their—

Ren decided to not finish the thought.

"I've seen the way you look at me now. I don't think synthetic blood is going to help you when you get like this."

Ren pulled a face.

"What the fuck is that supposed to mean?"

He wasn't some junkie who needed to be weaned off the needle. Drinking blood was something he had to do to survive. Ashton should know it wasn't a choice. 

Ashton sighed. He tilted his head up, his hands frozen on the last button of his shirt. For a moment, he gazed up at the sky. There was just a sliver peeking through the tops of the trees. The sun shined down, but it had missed the two of them. The shadows kept them company, almost shielding them away from the outside world.

But Ren was paranoid. He felt eyes on him, burning into his back, and the back of his neck was tickling as if someone was standing right behind him. After the high of the blood faded, he remembered Regan and Darrien. They might have been far away, but they could still be in the forest.

Ashton lowered his hands. He tilted his head to the side, just to gaze back at Ren a little. 

"I know how you feel. The bond is a two-way street."

That hadn't ever occurred to Ren. Here he'd been thinking about how the bond was affecting him and never about how it might be the same for Ashton might. But he was sure Ashton wasn't experiencing all the things he was. He didn't know if it was because he was a witch or if it was something entirely else.

He couldn't look Ashton in the eyes. He stared at his earlobe instead.

"Right..." He bit his lip. 

There was a question on his mind. He wasn't sure if he wanted to ask.

Ashton faced forward again.

"Something's bothering you."

There was a beat of silence.

"Why did you let me bite you? You know I'm a..." The word got stuck in his throat. "...part witch."

Ren thought he'd fucked it up. It was stupid how he was walking on eggshells when none of this was really his fault. He couldn't choose who he was and he couldn't have done anything to prevent anything that had happened. And if he was somehow at fault, Ashton was just as guilty as he was.

But trying to convince himself that didn't make him feel better. It just felt like he was giving excuses.

Something happened. Ashton faced him. It was like being hit with a lightning rod. Ren wanted to look away, but he couldn't. He felt like he was watching a car crash. Everything was moving so slow, yet, happening so fast, faster than he was able to pay attention to. Shards of the destruction were all he could see and it was so much harder to piece together the puzzle than to just be hit with the answer.

There was a flicker of something in Ashton's eyes. Was it guilt? Was he sorry for what had happened back at his house?

Ren didn't think he was, but he was hopeful. Though it wasn't him specifically that had hurt him—had treated him like he was less than dirt—Ashton had stood there and let it happen.

Ashton looked stricken and before Ren could get the answers he so desperately wanted, Ashton shut down again.

His face became cold. He was a solid wall that had no feelings though Ren knew that wasn't the case at all. Ren had thought they were getting somewhere, that Ashton might be changing and they might be able to work things out.

But why was he kidding himself? There was nothing between them. They weren't anything, but two unlucky people who got stuck with one another. Ren didn't know what he wanted and there was no way he was going to let the thing inside him start making the choices. 

Ashton turned up his nose. He pulled a faint grimace that was like a knife to Ren's gut. 

"Don't think I don't regret it." He walked up to Ren. He didn't have to point a finger to make Ren feel so small. "I didn't like it, if that's what you're thinking. But I can't having you running around trying to drain people, can I?"

So that was it. It was all to keep Ashton's head off the chopping block. Because if Ren died, so did Ashton.

Ren felt disgusted with himself. Ashton wasn't changing. He was still the horrible person he was before. 

He pressed his lips together and gave a firm nod. 

"Good. I'd rather not have you getting the hots for me."

Ashton snorted. "I would cut off my own dick before that happened."

Ren stepped away, rolling his eyes and ignoring the sharp pain in his chest.

He was going to walk away. He was going to forget all of this happened and try to figure out what he wanted to do, but just then, he heard Regan's loud voice and Darrien's name.

They were heading this way.

There was no time for him to do anything but hide. He wasn't looking for another fight and though he felt the thing rising within him—looking forward to a brawl—Ren thought it might not be wise after he'd been sucking down on Mantel blood.

If he thought Regan and Darrien wanted to kill him now, they surely would want to rip him limb from limb after what he'd done.

Ren didn't look where he was going as he startled backwards. He ended up slamming into Ashton.

He grabbed onto Ashton's waist without meaning to, but Ashton didn't seem to notice as he stared past Ren at the spot where Darrien and Regan must have been.

"What's going on?"

Ren pushed Ashton back, steering him by his hips. "Can we hide before we talk about this?"

Ren hissed, glancing over his shoulder. He couldn't see much of anything with the trees in the way, but his senses were slowly coming back which meant he could feel Regan's hostility.

Ashton still looked like he was going to confront the two by himself and Ren wasn't having any of that. He pushed Ashton back, not using a lot of force, and Ashton didn't fight back. He was glad too because he didn't want to have to fight Ashton and the other two at the same time. Having to deal with one or the other was bad enough.

They weren't that well hidden. If anyone with good working eyes went looking for them, they would definitely see two people pressed together against a tree.

"I'm starting to wonder if this is your thing." Ashton was closer to Ren than he'd originally thought. He pressed closer so he could lift his chin just slightly to speak into Ren's ear.

Ren clenched his jaw.

"What?" He shouldn't have responded. He shouldn't have given in.

Ashton didn't say at first. He was milking this. He was pissing Ren off just for the fun of it. 

He then remembered he had his hands on Ashton's hips. If someone saw them like this, they would definitely get the wrong idea.

There wasn't a smirk or smile on Ashton's face, however, Ren could see that mischievous glint in his eyes. It was as foreign as a genuine smile. 

"We keeping ending up like this. Hiding together." There was an implied question Ren wasn't going to answer.

His face burned.

"Unfortunate coincidences."

Ashton snorted. The puff of air tickled Ren's neck, making the hairs on his nape stand up. 

The footsteps were closer now. The emotions trickling into Ren's head became denser.

The thing scratched, demanding more blood. It was sweet torture to have Ashton close by. Ren unconsciously licked his lips.

Ashton's eyes followed the movement.

Ren removed his hands and balled them into fists at his sides. 

"Will you shut up?"

Ren was caught off guard when he heard Darrien's angry voice cut through the almost complete silence. He heard the two of them come up from a few feet behind him and Ashton. They were too close for comfort. 

"I'm just saying the truth. If that's not what you want to hear, then too bad. Maybe you're too scared to hear it."

"It's not the fucking truth. Just because you think you know everything because you're kissing my Uncle's ass—"

Ren was hit with a blast of anger. It was like feeling the heat rolling from an open oven. But it didn't last long. It was replaced by irritation and then nothing.

He could almost feel Darrien rolling his eyes. He knew the same feeling. Ashton got his nerves a lot. Regan as well.

"Nevermind. There's no point in trying to get through to you."

They were marching on past Ren and Ashton. Thankfully, they were too busy going at each others throats to notice Ren and Ashton hiding in plain sight.

It felt like forever until they walked completely past them.

Ren wasn't holding his breath. When he could faintly hear their bickering and footsteps, there was no relief because he hadn't been afraid at all. There was a missing piece of him. The piece that used to cower at anything that posed a threat. Now, he didn't feel almost anything at all.

He wasn't sure that was a good or bad thing.

Ren startled when Ashton slid to his side. "What was that about?"

Ren swallowed. He could feel Ashton's heat. It was pulling him toward him, entrancing him, and he had to fight to get control of his body. He didn't understand why he was reacting so much by something so irrelevant. They weren't even touching and Ashton had so much power over him. 

He shook his head. "I have no idea."

Though he didn't know what the two had been talking about, he did know something was going on between the two of them. Whether that amounted to anything sinister, was something he had yet to discover.

"So…" Ashton drawled. Ren wasn't used to it. It sounded strange. Ashton was usually straight to the point. He wasn't one to keep his thoughts or opinions to himself.

But right then, when Ren turned to look at him—a quizzical look on his face—he was stricken by how unsure Ashton was of himself. He was questioning his thoughts, picking apart his words in his head before he said them. 

Ashton looked…

Ren was yet again overtaken with a burning need to take Ashton. An image of pressing Ashton against the tree and kissing him until his face was flushed a dark red popped into his head. His stomach pulled tight. 

Ashton licked his lips. His fangs hadn't gone away yet. They were still poking every once and a while out of his mouth. They were just as distracting as Ashton's pretty lips.

"We still have a deal."

He was trying to be the hard ass he always was before. That was before Ren bit him. And though it shouldn't have changed anything, it had. Ren didn't see the rich, snotty, Mantel anymore. He saw Ashton. The one he was bound to.

As much as Ashton was trying to be the big bad guy in this situation—trying to move Ren's hand for him—it didn't work. Ren could feel his hesitance. It wasn't just his power. It was their connection. Until they found the killer and made sure their names were cleared, it was going to be like this.

Ren frowned. "And?"

He had half a mind to turn around and leave Ashton there. The only thing to come out of sticking around was trouble. He'd been in trouble since he decided to follow the pull he had to Crystal Mountain. That had been his mistake, but he had a chance to turn his back to all of it.

Though, he would never be fully free of it until he was dead.

That was what everything had come to. He was thinking about ending his life. Over and over. It hadn't even been that long. Thirty minutes since he tried to hurt his mom. That was when he truly found out that there was no place in this world for him.

Why couldn't he turn away from Ashton though? Why did he have to feel guilty about letting him die? He was sure Ashton wouldn't feel the same about him. He would dance on Ren's grave before he cried over him.

Ashton's face darkened.

So, they were back to this. Shutting down and not caring. Ren was good at that. He was really good now that he didn't give a flying fuck about anything. Sure, he still had his mom to think about, but as long as he stayed away from her, nothing was going to happen to her. 

He'd been the source of the problem afterall. 

"That means we still have shit to do," he spat out. 

Ren snorted. "I didn't know you had such a filthy mouth."

Ashton glowered. He was still handsome as fuck when he was throwing a fit. That was just as irritating as his prissy attitude. 

"What are you mad about? Is it because you had to feed? Are you that hung up about your needs?"

Ren rolled his eyes and curled his upper lip in disgust. "Don't say it like that."

Ashton ignored him. He stepped closer. He got up into Ren's space, not caring at all that Ren was glaring at him like he wanted to stake him. "What are you going to do, huh? Run? That's all you do. Run from your problems."

Ren shoved him. Ashton stumbled back, bumping into the tree. His eyes didn't waver though. Piercing Ren's soul like he knew everything when he didn't.

"You don't know a fucking thing about me."

Ren's chest heaved. He was a fucking second away from mauling Ashton's neck out. Fuck being in control. Fuck being the better person. He wanted to tear Ashton to shreds and make him hurt.

But what morality he had left wouldn't let him. Even the thing howled for him to calm down.

That's when he knew he was going insane. When the thing was trying to calm him, that's when things had truly gone to hell.

Ashton's face softened. It was just enough to make Ren pause. He didn't believe for a second Ashton was sorry for him, but he couldn't quite lie to himself when he could feel some of Ashton's emotions.

He hated that. He hated that he was forced to know what Ashton was feeling. It wasn't about invading Ashton's privacy. It was his own privacy being encroached on and being forced to empathize with the jerk face. 

He let out a sound of irritation. He ran a rough hand through his hair, tugging the strands, trying to pull some sense out of his head. 

"Fucking hell," he growled out. The words did nothing for him. They didn't even make him feel better. 

Ashton studied him. 

"Make a decision," he said, his voice dipping low.

Ren didn't look at him. He stared into the forest, looking in the direction where Regan and Darrien had gone. His gut clenched.

He had a choice. 

Death or…he wasn't sure what to call the other choice. He was positive either way was going to end with him dead. Die now or die later.

Kill Ashton or not. Find the person behind all of this or let them get away.

And his mom…

He didn't know what the right choice was. He didn't know if there was a right choice. He was a monster and it felt like he had to take himself out to do the world a favor. But killing Ashton in the process felt like going against everything he was trying to do.

He was trying to be a better person, but he felt like he was already failing.

When he looked back at Ashton, he was lost for words. He simply stared at him, trying to find the answers to all his problems in Ashton's eyes.

There was hope for a second. Maybe it was just longing. Because he did long for a place to actually belong to. He wasn't human, the vampires didn't want him, and he didn't feel any connection to witches.

He was just floating in the middle of it all not sure what to make of himself.

"Well?" Ashton raised his brow. 

He was so irritating.

But as much as Ashton irked him, Ren didn't want to see him die. Not for his own selfish reason, anyway.

"I'm in."

Ashton searched Ren's face, eyes roaming and that moment of uncertainty made Ren's stomach twist.

"I'm serious. You can't go back. No matter what." Ashton's voice was firm, but he couldn't hide his own uncertainty. There wasn't much left to hide between the two of them.

"I said I'm in," Ren forced out from his clenched teeth. 

He looked away from Ashton's narrowed gaze. He was tired of looking at Ashton's eyes. He was tired of seeing anything of him. It was bad enough his body howled for his blood. He didn't want to start obsessing over everything about him.

"Then, since that's settled, we should probably follow them, right?"

Ren shook his head to try and get his thoughts in order. He brushed off Ashton's question—one that didn't need to be answered anyway—and started in the direction Darrien and Regan had gone.

He said he was in. Again. He just hoped this was the right choice.