Snow was a bit taken aback, for a split second. He had expected to find ZaiWin standing there, possibly staring coldly at him. But ZaiWin had apparently made his way to the back of the small room, and was now sitting down, his back against the cold stone wall. He wasn't looking at him either, Snow realized, feeling relieved and disappointed at the same time. His head leaning back, he simply closed his eyes, as if he had fallen asleep. As if that were even remotely possible.
Fine!, Snow told himself. This was his mistake! His fault! His duty to try and fix things! He couldn't possibly expect to be more cuddled and protected than he'd already been. He had to take responsibility. He had to at least try and ask ZaiWin to forgive him.
Making up his mind, Snow crossed the distance between them and silently knelt on the cold hard floor beside him. He would stay there and wait until ZaiWin decided to acknowledge his presence. And then he would beg for his forgiveness. No matter how small and useless that might sound, unfortunately, right now, there was nothing else he could do.
Kneeling there, Snow readied himself to wait for a very long time. And it was fine. He would see that time as his penitence. Not that ZaiWin would ever value such a self-centered act. But, to his surprise, the moment he settled down, those blue eyes were immediately on him. Hard, and cold, and dangerously feral.
Even though it hadn't been his intention to do so, Snow still couldn't help leaning back, away from him, instinctively ready to jump to his feet. But the moment he so much as moved, a large hand grabbed his wrist and pulled him forward again, startling him, making his heart beat even faster against his chest.
Grabbing the back of his neck, ZaiWin pulled him even closer, and all Snow could see was his open mouth coming for him, threatening to swallow him whole. Unable to escape, all Snow could do was mumble a complaint when those burning lips captured his. He couldn't breathe, he thought, trying to keep up with that devouring kiss, wanting to push him back but, at the same time, not daring to even attempt such a thing.
The hands that were grabbing him became even harder, locking on his waist, demanding that he moved closer, forcing him to climb onto his lap. Without those burning fingers to keep his head in place, Snow was finally able to turn his face and gasp for air. But then something was grabbing his hair, forcing him to tilt his head back, and that hot mouth was biting his neck.
Snow gasped again, but quickly shut his mouth, biting into his lower lip. It ... hurt. But, strangely enough, not so much his neck. His chest hurt a lot more. He could clearly feel it. ZaiWin's anger and frustration. But, above all, his dark, all-consuming fear.
Grabbing him again, ZaiWin simply turned around, slamming him back against the cold wall, leaving him no space to run. The sound of his tunic ripping, followed by the feeling of hot lips and hard teeth scraping his shoulder, left his heart slamming franticly inside his chest. He was scared!, he thought, his eyes flooding with tears. ZaiWin had kissed him and touched him many times before, but never like this. Even when he'd been a bit scary, there had always been warmth in his every gesture. Now all Snow could feel was anger and desperation. Still he would take it. He would take anything, if that meant that he would forgive him. And so he raised a trembling hand and tried to hug him back. The moment he touched him, however, his hand was immediately captured, long hard fingers lacing with his, his hand pressed hard against the cold wall. So he wouldn't even allow him to touch him, Snow concluded, tears falling down his face.
The sudden feeling of ZaiWin's warm hand against his bare skin made him jump, as it found his way beneath his tunic. It was so hot that Snow was sure it would end up searing his skin. And so he couldn't help being especially aware of it, as it moved around his waist, to the small of his back, and then slid inside his pants.
Instinctively jolting forward, Snow tried to escape those hot, hard fingers, but that only brought him even closer to him. And then his captured hand was being roughly led somewhere else, even though he was trying his best to resist his iron grip. And then ... everything suddenly stopped.
Trying his best to catch his breath while muffling his nervous sobs, Snow didn't dare move an inch, as if the slightest movement could inadvertently set off the beast again. His ears were ringing, but he could still hear ZaiWin's heavy breathing, feel the warmth of his breath on his face and shoulder. He didn't know what had happened, but he was still very much afraid, unable to feel relieved at all. And so he just forced himself to stay very still, not even daring to as much as trying to look at him.
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A/N: Well, I know this was intense, but we can't forget that ZaiWin is anything but stable in his best days, reason why he has always avoided getting t0o close to other people. He's just very good at keeping himself in check. Now everything is playing against him, from Snow leaving him like that to how this place is filled with dark energy, and, to top it all, having MaoHan forcibly suppressing him like that. I must say that I'm actually rather proud of him, for still being able to hold himself back like that😖
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