His home … Did he really have one …? No. His home had been a small shack, assembled with whatever Sand had been able to scavenge and carry, built beneath a wooden bridge. Not some big house in a fancy town like Seven Waters. And yet he couldn't help recalling what RimJan and RyuXin had told him, when he'd first met them. That he had … killed them all.
A shiver ran down Snow's spine, turning his stomach upside down, making him sick.
Since RimJan and RyuXin had told him about ... that, he'd done his best to push the whole scary subject out of his head. After all, what was the good of agonizing over something that had happened so long ago? Something he couldn't even recall? No matter if he had committed those atrocious acts or not, turning it over inside his head wouldn't change anything, wouldn't help him face his present ordeals either. There were a lot of much more important, much more imminent problems to occupy his head.
But now, hearing her say that, knowing that there was a possibility that he might be able to recover his memories, he couldn't help wondering. Had he really … done such a horrible thing? Why …? How …? Hadn't he been just a newborn baby? Had they really tried to kill him? Had Sand lived there as well? Had she found him abandoned in one of those streets? Would he really be able to remember any of that if he went to that place? And if he had really ... killed his entire family. Didn't he owe them to at least remember the horrible thing he had done? And yet…
"I can't," he replied, this time even more convict than before.
There was no way he was going to leave ZaiWin like that, all alone. Of course he knew all too well that, even unable to use his daitai, ZaiWin would be able to defend himself, that he didn't need his protection. After all, he had that big sword with him, and Snow had seen first-hand how deadly he could be when wielding one of those things. No. It wasn't as if he was worried about ZaiWin's safety. Not like that, anyways. It was just that … he didn't want to leave him alone on such a sad day.
RimJan silently stared up at him, that strange, creepy expression back to her face, almost as if she could read his thoughts.
"Here you are, young master. Your water," the young woman who had just returned told him, placing a jar of fresh water on the counter, and Snow quickly turned to her with a forced smile on his lips.
"Mm, thank you."
The woman nodded in response and then peered curiously at the little girl standing beside him.
"Is there anything I can get for the young lady?"
"Oh. No. Thank you. We're fine," Snow awkwardly replied and the nice woman nodded again, giving RimJan another curious look before she walked away.
RimJan snorted with a disgusted expression on her small, porcelain face and took a deep breath, as if that could clear the bitter taste that had remained on her tongue. Taking yet another deep breath she looked up at him, all business-like again.
"Is he with you? The one who took you away," she asked, resuming their previous conversation, making Snow's heart jump into an anxious beat.
"He is my Chosen One," he openly declared, inevitably annoyed at the depreciative tone of her voice. RimJan made a disgusted face at that.
"Fine!" she grunted, crossing her arms with a heart-melting pout on her pinkish lips.
Snow sighed.
"I'm really sorry. Besides, if I stay away for too long he will end up coming to look for me. Like before, remember?" Snow added, trying to somehow appease her. It wasn't as if she and the other Tien'Elhar had done something wrong, he thought. In fact, he had been the one in the wrong. Using them as he pleased in order to achieve his objectives, and then simply disappearing without a second thought, the moment things had changed a bit.
RimJan's expression immediately brightened up.
"So, if he doesn't notice that you're gone then there won't be a problem, right?"
Snow looked doubtfully at her.
���Don't you want to see the place where you were born?" she insisted and Snow averted his gaze.
Well … yes. He guessed he would like to see it, at least once. Also, even though he wasn't completely convinced that that was even possible since he'd only been a baby, he would like to be able to try and recover his lost memories, no matter how sad or horrible they might be. But, more than that, he felt bad for having left RimJan and the others like that, without so much as a word. It had been how long since then? A month? And they had kept searching for him, worrying about his safety, not even knowing if he was dead or alive. At the very least Snow owed them some kind of explanation. And he had to clearly tell them that he had changed his mind, and that he had willingly chosen to remain by ZaiWin's side. That they could stop worrying about him and that they could turn their attentions towards other Tien'Elhar in need of rescuing, since that clearly wasn't his case anymore.
If possible, even though he had no intention of joining their group, he also wanted to know more about RyuXin and the others who were apparently like him. Defective Tien'Elhar who needed to be murdered at birth, according to the Temple's directives.
He remembered the hateful way RyuXin had talked about … normal people, and he knew the little girl in front of him clearly shared his opinions. Were they all like this?, hating and despising the rest of the world, seeing everyone around them as the enemy? That not only was a very sad way of living, it would inevitably lead to very dangerous situations.
Abnormal Tien'Elhar like them … like Snow, were already seen as abominations by the rest of the world. He didn't know if that was because people had figured out that they didn't need to bound with a Chosen One in order to live, like RyuXin had mentioned, or if there was some other reason. Maybe it was simply because there were too few of them, Snow considered. Unique, rare things were normally either adored as if they were some kind of miracle, or despised as horrible abominations. But no matter the case, he just couldn't see how openly despising and hating other people back could help their situation.
Sure, from all he had heard so far, most nobles and royals treated Tien'Elhar very poorly, to say the least. No to mention that those who were a bit different were normally abandoned at birth, or even worse, killed. But not everyone was like that. ZaiWin wasn't like that. VinWei and ZenTar weren't like either. And Snow wondered if, somehow, there wasn't a way to make RyuXin and the others see things a little bit differently. Who knows? If they could see that his Chosen One couldn't care less if he had black or golden hair, maybe they'd stop hating everyone as a whole. Maybe they could even help each other, Snow thought, suddenly hopefully. If they were all to publicly appear together, if they could show the people that they were just like any other Tien'Elhar, born into this world to help them by blessing the land, maybe other people would stop seeing them as horrible, isolated cases, where an abnormal Tien'Elhar had been born. If they could be openly recognized and accepted as Tien'Elhar, then half of ZaiWin's problems would be automatically solved as well, he considered, his heart suddenly beating faster at the mere idea.
"More than any of that, I wouldn't mind having the time to actually talk with all of you," he honestly declared and the little girl beamed, obviously delighted.
"Then here," she quickly said, searching inside the small pouch hanging from around her waist.
Opening his hand at her request, Snow allowed her to give him what looked like a small piece of paper, folded in a very strange way.
"Inside it there's a white powder. You just have to mix it in his drink and he will sleep like a baby," she declared, smiling happily, and Snow glanced in alarm at the small packet.
"It's not poison!" she grunted. "Not that all Humans who keep Celestials like pets shouldn't be put to death!" she spat. "But, as things stand, if he dies you'll die as well. And we would never harm one of our brothers or sisters," she proudly declared and Snow sighed. It wasn't as if he trusted RimJan or any of the others. But, somehow, he knew that she was telling the truth, and that they wouldn't do anything to harm him.
"He will only sleep …?"
The little girl nodded confidently.
"He won't even know what happened. As long as you're back before the time he wakes up, he'll never suspect a thing."
Snow nodded. That was good, he thought. He still wasn't ready to tell ZaiWin about those other Celestials. He wasn't sure how ZaiWin would react to them. After all, just like RyuXin and RimJan seemed to hate everyone who was not Tien'Elhar, ZaiWin detested all Tien'Elhar with a vengeance. Sure, he seemed to have accepted the fact that Snow was a Tien'Elhar, and Snow more than knew that he didn't hate him anymore. But he wasn't too sure that the way ZaiWin felt about him had done anything to change how he viewed all the others. Much less if Snow were to tell him that those strange Tien'Elhar had been the ones who had led him to that cavern, back at Woodbridge. No. For now, if he really was going to do this, he had to sneak out in secret and do it on his own.
"So … will we see you tonight?"
Snow looked at the small packet he held in his hand and nodded. RimJan practically jumped with glee.
"We will wait for you outside," she declared excitedly.
"And I will be back before he wakes up. Right?" Snow wanted to make sure and RimJan smiled happily at him.
"But of course!"
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Hmm, I guess we all know this is not going to end well 😔