Snow was quietly sitting between ZaiWin's legs. They were really long, he thought, studying the way his knees bent, one on each side of his body. He wished he had legs like his. Long and strong, and yet not too muscular. Snow's were still aching from climbing a tree, and he couldn't help recalling how easily ZaiWin had jumped from tree branch to tree branch as if it were nothing.
ZaiWin had insisted on braiding his hair. As if his hair were long enough for that!, Snow grumbled in his thoughts. Still, he had turned around as he'd been told and had allowed him to do as he pleased. He was still at it, even now. They did have to do something to spend their time, Snow gathered, since they would be stuck inside that bedroom for a whole day. And it wasn't as if the feeling of ZaiWin's hands gently tugging and combing through his hair wasn't pleasant.
Right then he felt so at peace that it felt strange, Snow thought, glancing towards the frozen window. It was almost as if they had somehow slipped into a different world, just the two of them. Sitting there, in that bed, surrounded by ZaiWin's warmth, it was almost as if everything that had happened had all been a dream. Snow could still hear the echo of ZenTar's urgent voice, urging the people of End of the World to hurry up and pack their belongings. But it all felt like something that had happened a long time ago. And, although he knew he should feel worried about them, wondering if everyone had managed to safely leave the village, his heart remained calm and undisturbed. He felt at peace, almost contented, as if everything he needed were right there, inside those four walls. But then Snow recalled what VinWei had asked, about the one who had been in charge of the men sent to capture them. And that yes, was something that worried him a lot.
"Before, back at the village, ZenTar said that the one I felt was a red-haired person. And VinWei said something about them being a royal?" Snow started, trying to organize his thoughts, and ZaiWin released a deep breath, his fingers gently pulling a few locks of his silver hair.
"The people call them royals, yes. But I guess the right word would be imperials? Anyway, that's what the common folk call all the members of the Imperial family. And since Zen managed to gather that at least one of the men crossing our border had red hair then there's no doubt about it. Only the direct descendent's of the El'Dur have red hair."
Snow turned to look at him, forcing ZaiWin to let go of his half-done braid.
"They all have red hair?"
"Normally, yes. It's very rare that an El'Gin or El'Lin is born with different hair color. They can be born with different eye-colors, like the El'Lin Wen NimRen, who has blue eyes instead of the imperial green. But their hair is almost always red. In fact, if you examine the Imperial family tree where the main physical traits of the Imperial family are noted, there's not a single El'Gin or El'Lin registered with different hair color."
"But you said that it's almost always red," Snow noticed astutely, his pale eyes so perceptive that ZaiWin had to force himself not to avert his gaze. "Which means that it has happened, right? Imperial children being born with different hair-colors."
ZaiWin sighed.
"It would seem so. However, according to the records, they were never officially recognized as members of the Imperial Family. And, somehow, if there were any they simply disappeared. I don't have to think twice to guess what they probably did to those children."
Snow lowered his gaze, a deep sadness taking over his face.
"Like with Celestials, who always have golden hair, the El'Dur's children always have red hair. It has always been so. Even if sometimes it's not. It's just the way things are."
"Even though it's wrong," Snow muttered and ZaiWin sighed.
"Yes. Even though it's wrong. I guess this world is full of wrongs that no one is willing to correct."
Snow nodded. He felt sorry for those unnamed children. Still, after all ZaiWin and the others had told him about how the world was run, he no longer put it past them to do something as horrible as this. He had merely expected that at least the imperial children would be safe, treasured, and protected above all other things. They were, after all, the El'Dur's offspring.
"So, only El'Gin and El'Lin have red hair?"
ZaiWin nodded.
"Of course, even though they're all born with that title, once a new El'Dur is chosen, those who lose their chance to take the throne revert to being just another member of their respective Clans. Obviously, their hair doesn't change color just because of that. But, somehow, their children never inherit it. So yes. Only El'Gin and El'Lin, or former El'Gin and El'Lin have red hair," ZaiWin explained and gently made Snow face the other way, so that he could return to his braiding.
"So they sent someone that important?" Snow wondered, feeling more than a bit bewildered. He had always supposed that important people like the El'Gin and El'Lin would be kept safe at all times, guarded by the best warriors of the Empire. He certainly hadn't expected that they would send them into a potentially dangerous situation, like trying to apprehend someone as strong as ZaiWin.
ZaiWin snorted in contempt.
"Important. At the moment there are four El'Gin and three El'Lin living in the Palace. They all have equal rights to ascend to the throne. The same rights any Chosen One out there has, me included. But only one can be the next El'Dur. Not to mention that there's always those who hope to inherit the crown as soon as possible, even if that may mean ending the currents El'Dur's life prematurely. So one's importance quickly becomes very relative. One's life is only important to oneself. Everyone else is most likely silently wishing that the one standing next to them would simply drop dead, which would obviously mean one less name contenting for the throne. Sending one of the El'Gin or El'Lin all the way out here may just be exactly that. A way to try and get rid of one of them. From the other royal's point of view, if the one they sent succeeds in their mission, good, those standing at the top will have attained their main objective. If they fail and never return home, well, it's one less person to worry about, and they haven't done anything immoral like spilling their own blood for no apparent good reason."
Snow's shoulders slumped. He understood that. In fact, he had come to understand a lot of things, from VinWei's lectures. He was thankful that she had made a point of not sparing him, even from the less pleasant details. He needed to be ready, she had told him. He needed to know what he would have to face, once he entered the Palace. Still, even though he knew all that, thinking that people actually lived like that, still made his heart feel heavier.
"So the one I felt was one of the El'Dur's children …" Snow considered and a shiver ran down his spine at the memory of how wrong and distorted that other person's energy had felt. "It's hard to believe …"
"What is?"
Taking a deep breath, Snow straightened his back, unwilling to let his memories fill him with that unknown dread again.
"I felt a very strong fire energy. But, at the same time, it was also very … wrong."
ZaiWin's hands halted what they were doing for a moment.
"How so?"
"Hmm … The feeling I have is that fire is supposed to be warm, hot even. It can be gentle and comforting, but it can also burn furiously and be very destructive. Still, even when fire is destructive, there's still this … purity about it. A kind of … innocent honesty. It can be very impulsive, irreverent even. But it's always true to its nature. Fire doesn't deceive or lie. It doesn't conceal or mask its own nature. It's just the way it is. I'm probably not making much sense," Snow finally breathed, lowering his head, his shoulders slumping again in clear disappointment.
Taking a deep breath, ZaiWin went back to braiding his hair.
"It makes perfect sense," he reassured him. "So, what was different about the one you felt?"
A visible shiver made Snow's shoulders tremble.
"Everything. Everything was different. It was still hot, the way fire is supposed to be. But that's all there was to it. The fire I felt wasn't just impulsive or irreverent. It was raging mad and barely contained. Its intrinsic destructive nature has been completely perverted. It no longer destroys merely because it's its nature. It takes pleasure in the pain and suffering it inflicts upon others. Fire destroys so that something new can be born from its ashes. That fire knows only how to destroy. If left unchecked it will consume everything, until there's nothing left. Even if that means destroying itself. Not even the feimao are that scary. Although they're wrong and they're the absolute denial of life itself, the feimao are still true to their distorted nature. They are what they are. They do not feel any kind of satisfaction from destroying the land or making people sick. But not this fire … It's nature is dark … and it's scary. And it's hard to believe that behind it is actually a Human Being. A member of the Imperial Family. As you said, probably an El'Gin or El'Lin. And I can't help wondering how come someone like that is also a Chosen One. How come a Tien'Elhar is able to live, while connected to that kind of energy. And I finally understand what VinWei meant, when she told me that Tien'Elhar get sick when their Chosen Ones stray from the righteous path. I'm sure the Tien'Elhar bound to that person must be in a lot of pain. She must feel … very sad and lonely."
Releasing a deep sigh, ZaiWin wrapped his arms around him and pulled him back, holding him against his chest. Snow's silver hair, with which he had been playing up till that moment, softly caressed his face. And the way Snow's body simply allowed him to hold him like that allowed his heart to dive into a pool of comforting warmth and peace.
"You will tell me, right? If I ever make you feel like that."
Tilting his head, Snow made an effort to look back at him.
"You won't."
"How can you be so sure? People make mistakes. They can also change a lot. Even if you don't want to. Sometimes life itself is your worst enemy."
"Even if you do change, I know you'll never change like that," Snow reinstated, his pale gaze so certain, so full of confidence in his own words that ZaiWin couldn't help sigh, gently rubbing his nose against his soft hair.
"I'm already halfway there. I'm sure you can feel it. And even though we're not truly bound, I still fear that my proximity, being so close to you, might somehow harm you …"
"It won't!" Snow immediately declared, raising his voice to the limit that he would allow himself to normally speak. "I've been feeling and studying your strange energy since the day we met, back at the Fortress. I can clearly see that its nature has been hopelessly distorted. And, for a time, I did fear that this distortion might spread and start to corrupt my energy. I feared that I would soon share the fate of those Tien'Elhar VinWei told me about. But now I'm absolutely certain that that will never happen."
ZaiWin sighed, squeezing him a bit tighter as if fearing he might try and escape his embrace.
"How can you be so sure?"
"Because now I know that even though your energy has been distorted that was not your choice, much less your doing. It was not a result of your bad choices or of your wrongdoings. And even though you've been through so much, even though they practically destroyed your daitai, your heart is still the same. No matter how dark and destructive your daitai become, the heart behind them, commanding them, is still good and pure."
ZaiWin chuckled, taking a deep breath, inhaling his warm scent. Snow still smelled of rain and fresh leaves, from when they'd crossed the forest.
"You give me too much credit."
Snow shook his head.
"Nothing like that. I've told before. I simply see you. I see your darkness. But I also see your light."
"Light …!" ZaiWin clearly scorned and Snow immediately slapped the arm currently wrapped around his waist.
"It's not my fault if you can't see it! It's clearly there!"
ZaiWin nodded obediently, taking the opportunity to rub his cheek against Snow's soft hair.
"I hear you, oh Sacred One. After all, who am I to call into question a Heavenly Being?"
Snow's entire body grew stiff at the sound of those words.
"Please don't call me that. I'm neither sacred nor heavenly. I'm just like everyone else."
Noticing how serious Snow was being and how much his joking words had apparently affected him, ZaiWin immediately set aside his mocking tone.
"You're definitely not like everyone else. You're a lot more than everyone else. But I guess that, even though you're this Sacred Being, in the end, where it matters, you're just like every other kid your age. And I'm deeply grateful for that. That's exactly what has completely conquered my heart. Why I love you so much."
Snow's cheeks immediately caught fire. Thankfully, due to the way ZaiWin kept holding him, there was no way he could whiteness his embarrassing embarrassment. Now that Snow had given him his answer, was ZaiWin going to start throwing those embarrassing words around as if they were nothing? He honestly hoped he wouldn't. Even though he himself had been the first one to say something like that out loud, hearing ZaiWin repeat those words always left his heart beating like crazy, to the point that his chest would start to ache. He had no doubt that, worse than his dark energy, those mere words definitely had the ability to completely undo him.
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