Looking down ZaiWin had to blink his tears away before he could actually see the small head still pressed against his body, the kid's warm breath brushing against his skin.
Any other time he would have killed that child right there, where he stood, just for touching him like that. But right now that mere thought felt so wrong that he couldn't help feeling ashamed. The little one was innocently doing his best to help him. He could have run away a long time ago. He could have simply chosen not to get involved in such an obviously dangerous situation. He would never, in his entire life, be able to repay that small, dirty child the help he was freely receiving. And for what? Because he had given him some food and a blanket he'd just ended up stealing back?
Taking a deep breath, ZaiWin did his best to lighten the weight he was placing on those small shoulders.
"Hey …" he muttered, his voice failing him, and the child's head moved, tilting back so that those dark eyes could look up at him.
"I can probably stand on my own … Can you gather all the things laying around … and place them in your backpack …?" he asked, his head swaying dangerously, and the dark eyes stared at him, obviously doubting his words. "It is really important … we can't let others know … where we are going …"
That seemed to make sense to the kid and he quickly nodded, unwrapping his arms from around him to obey ZaiWin's request.
Even though the child was obviously small and scrawny, the moment ZaiWin lost his weak support, he almost fell forward again. To stop the dizzying motion he was forced to put some weight on his injured leg, and was immediately plunged into an ocean of indescribable pain.
That he could remember, he had only felt pain worse that this once in his entire life. Even being stabbed by a blood sword in the stomach hadn't been so bad. On the other hand, even though he did not want to think about it, if he had survived worse than this he could probably survive now as well.
It didn't take long for the child to gather everything inside the backpack, pulling it over his small shoulders, before he quickly returned to his side. ZaiWin weakly placed an arm around those small shoulders and felt the kid's cold hands hold his arm in place, readying himself to support his weight.
"I need you … to check … if I'm not leaving a blood trail …" he breathed, hardly seeing the way ahead. "If you see blood … you have to cover it … with dirt or leaves …"
More than seeing he felt the child nod, the small head practically glued to his waist. He didn't know if such a young kid would be able to understand what he meant, but he had no other choice but to make do with what he had.
Grinding his teeth, he lifted his crutch, placing it a small step in front of him and, leaning on the little one for support, leaped forward. Pain made him gasp, sweat dripping down his chin, but he still went on, one step after the other, focusing solely on moving forward without falling.
As to be expected they made slow progress, ZaiWin's initial plan of moving towards a certain direction completely overthrown. He could barely see where he was going, much less orient himself towards the edge of the Gathering's grounds. And so he could only hope that the child at his side knew where he was taking them.
From time to time they would stop, the little one choosing somewhere near a tree so he could lean on it before he quickly retraced their steps, trying his best to erase any traces of their presence. ZaiWin didn't care anymore, his entire focus on standing up and moving forward. And so he couldn't help groan in protest when the child made him lean against a tree and pulled him down, towards the ground.
He couldn't!, he immediately pulled his hand free from the small hands that were holding his. If he sat down he'd never get up again.
A bit startled with his sudden movement, it took the little one a few moments before he dared try again, grabbing his hand and pulling him down, towards the ground. ZaiWin harshly pushed him back, holding on to the tree, trying to go on on his own. He was obviously in a state where he could no longer think clearly, or he would have realized that what he was trying to do was a complete impossibility. Stumbling, he almost fell, those small arms back around his waist steadying him again. The child groaned at the effort of trying to push him back, his small feet sliding backwards across the dirt as he pushed forward using his entire body, until ZaiWin was once more safely leaning back against the tree.
For a moment they just stood there, both gasping for air, both too exhausted to go on.
Too tired ... , ZaiWin thought, and finally allowed himself to slide down towards the ground. The small arms around his waist immediately reacted, trying to hold him, trying to ease him down, obviously unable to do any of those things.
ZaiWin landed on the ground with a thud, pain shooting through his entire body, and leaned his head back, against the tree. Since he had refused to let go of him until the end, the child ended up kneeling between his legs, his arms still around him, his face glued to his bare chest.
He was most definitely going to die, ZaiWin thought. The fact that he wasn't dead yet was kind of a miracle.
Blinking, he tried to focused his sight.
It was getting dark. So that's why the little one had insisted they should stop.
There was no way they had managed to distance themselves from that stream enough to escape the Calzai's men. They may not find him during the following dark hours, but they would most certainly find him the next morning. Well, he would probably be dead by then anyway, so he didn't need to worry about that, he thought, his mind increasingly incoherent. He was burning up, sweating even though the air filling his lungs was actually getting colder. And yet there was something pleasantly cool pressed against his skin, allowing him to somehow relax enough so he could fall asleep …
No! He couldn't relax! ZaiWin immediately jolted himself awake.
He couldn't relax! He had to focus! The cool thing he was thinking about was a human being! A living, breathing, human being that could not be there, with him, when the others find him. The moment they took a look at his bare back they would immediately kill everyone who might have seen it too! Even if that everyone was a child too young to understand what he had seen! ZenTar had warned him about that more times than he could remember!
Even if you don't care about what happens to you, think about the other person. Look her in the eyes and think - I've just killed her! So be sure to never get completely undressed in front of anyone.
Of course he had meant any possible love interests he might develop in the future. But ZaiWin knew that the warning didn't apply only to girls.
Taking a deep breath he made an effort to raise his arm that felt as if it weighed a tone, and allowed his hand fall on the small head still leaning against his chest. The child was obviously tired. They had been walking the entire evening. And he had forced the little one to bear most of his weight, which was obviously too much for such a small kid.
"Hey … don't sleep here …" he whispered, weakly rubbing his head with his fingers to wake him up, in case he had guessed right. "You have to go …"
The child moved, releasing him from his embrace, and sat back on his heels to look up at him. ZaiWin's arm fell listless at his side.
"Bad men will come … You can't be here …" he tried his best to explain, and the child look to one side, and then another, as if expecting to see those bad men standing right there.
With another sigh and a grimace, ZaiWin raised his hand and unclasped the hairpin that somehow had survived all that. Locks of dark hair immediately fell over his face, sliding down his naked shoulders and arms. Unable to hold it up for longer than that, his arm fell to his side again.
"Here …" he opened his hand and the child's dark eyes looked at what he was holding, widening in amazement. "You can keep this … because I ruined your blanket … Take it."
Small, dirty hands reached out and reverently took the small hairpin from from his hand. He could almost smile at the way the little one looked at the insignificant thing with clear amazement.
"It's not much … but you can sell it … and buy food. You can even buy a new blanket … and clothes …"
The child turned the small blue-silvery thing in his hands and then offered it back to him again.
"No. It's for you ..."
Crooking his head to one side the dark eyes looked at the hairpin again.
"Keep it … Put it in your backpack," ZaiWin added, thinking that that might make things easier to understand, and the child immediately obeyed, pulling the backpack from his back and placing the hairpin inside it.
Sighing in relief ZaiWin allowed his eyes to close. He needed to sleep. Even if that meant he might never wake up again.
"Now go … go home …" and thank you, he wanted to add, but the words never left his lips.