Dear Peter,

I miss you. It's only been five days but I miss you like it's been five years. Maybe because I don't know if this is just it, if you and I will ever talk again. I mean I'm sure we'll say hi in chem class, or in the hallways, but will it ever be like it was? That's what makes me sad. I felt like I could say anything to you. I think you felt the same way. I hope you did.

So I'm just going to say anything to you right now, while I'm still feeling brave. What happened between us in the hot tub scared me. I know it was just a day in the life of Peter for you, but for me it meant a lot more, and that's what scared me. Not just what people were saying about it, and me, but that it happened at all. How easy it was, how much I liked it. I got scared and I took it out on you and for that I'm truly sorry.

And at the recital party, I'm sorry I didn't defend you to Josh. I should have. I know I owed you that much. I owed you that much and more. I still can't believe you came, and that you brought those fruitcake cookies. You looked cute in your sweater, by the way. I'm not saying that to butter you up. I mean it.

Sometimes I like you so much I can't stand it. It fills up inside me, all the way to the brim, and I feel like I could overflow. I like you so much I don't know what to do with it. My heart beats so fast when I know I'm going to see you again. And then, when you look at me the way you do, I feel like the luckiest girl in the world.

Those things Josh said about you, they weren't true. You haven't brought me down. Just the opposite. You've brought me out. You gave me my first love story, Peter. Please just don't let it be over yet.

Love,

Lara Jean