CHAPTER 6
ORDER
Louise
I'm wondering why I woke up peacefully without a noise coming outside of my room and it only happens if my parents and sister are here in the mansion. It's a miracle that they here yet mom didn't slap me to greet me and those hurtful words that usually they threw at me. It made me nervous because I know it happens when something bad might happen when they act like that.
I remember what happen five years ago, I love playing piano to the point that at I compete in every competition for our school. I always won the championship to the point that mom talked to me to stop at playing piano because they don't a daughter that has a no future that I should focus in my studies. She said I don't have a future on it and I will be the shame in our family if I become a musician.
Nobody in our clan is a musician and I shouldn't put their name into shame because I'm using their last name. I'm really hurt in what they said yet I have to follow their order. I stopped playing piano even though my teachers want me to continue playing it yet I didn't, even if I want to. After a few months I heard that my sister is competing in the piano contest yet my parents and relatives are so proud of her. From there I realize that they make me stop playing piano to give way to my sister and threw hurtful words at me in able for me to be discourage on playing piano.
It's so painful to hear and see how proud of them to my sister's achievements yet they are ashamed of me. I'm really wishing that someday there is someone who will understand me, will be there for me always and a shoulder to lean on, if that happens if I will be very happy. Sometimes I'm thinking why are they treating me like this and why it is so hard for them to saw me happy. Did I do something bad at them? What did I do to be treated like this? Is it hard to love me? Do I deserve this?
I keep on thinking of what is the feeling of someone's loving you and cherish you. Be there for you all the time in your ups and down. We're eating breakfast in peace when mom broke the silence. "I've heard that you have new friends now in the university, is it true?" mom said while looking at me with a raise on her brow. I lowered my head and my hands become cold because I had a bad feeling on this conversation, I think I know where this conversation is going. "Yes, mom" I answered in a shaky voice. "Well, you know you have to cut your connection on them. Just focus on your studies because I don't want you to be distracted. Understand? May I remind you that we are monitoring your grades coz I don't want you to put our name more to shame. Are we clear?" Mommy said with full of authority. It hurts that even having friends they don't want me to have it yet it is the first time that someone offer me friendship with sincerity.
It's the main reason why I distance myself to others coz I don't want to be attached to them yet in the end I have to let them go. If I don't let them go, they will do everything for them to leave me alone. Even though nanay pity me yet she can't do anything because of the power of our family. "But mom---" I said. "No buts, and don't call me mommy you're not my daughter so stop calling me mommy or else you'll be punished" mom said with full of disgust. "I've heard you join in a pageant? Stop your illusion you will just put our name into shame coz for sure you won't win that. Why don't you be like your sister who have lots of achievements a professional model and future beauty queen. How about you, you always put our name into shame. What a disgrace!" daddy said while eating. Even though I'm not done eating, I walk out coz I lost my appetite I feel like someone stab my chest repeatedly because of the hurtful words they threw at me. I just get my things and asked the driver to drove me into the university while my tears are continuously flowing.
When we are near the university I calm and fixed myself so nobody won't notice the redness and puffiness of my eyes. Tatay comfort me while driving that made cry so much. When we arrived in front of the gate I got out of the car and thanked tatay before he drove the car away. I went inside the university and I saw a lot of students on the grounds. I stop when someone shout my name and from a far I saw Gavin waving at me that make the people to stare at me.
"I've heard you join the pageant, Kristoffe too. But, don't get jealous on his partner too much, huh?" he said with a malicious smile on his face. "Huh? Why would I get jealous?" I said with puzzled expression. "But, admit it your curious about him? Am I right?" he said with a brow raised. "Why is he always poker face?" I asked with a curious look. "You will know it when you get to know him. Once your close to him, he will tell you the reason" he said and wink at me before he walked away to attend his class. Even though in my dreams I can't imagine that I will get close to Kristoffe and yes,we see each other yet we don't even talk to each other. It's like I don't exist on his world that's why it's so impossible that we'll get close.
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