I never thought life would be this way. I'm 27, a stoner lesbian, Italian, and you guessed it, a mob boss. A fuckin mob boss. My father was the old one, and it was passed down to me, being his only kid. I never asked to be born into the Mafia, and now I'm stuck in it. The process is simple, rob a home, sell the valuables, 'silence' the witnesses. My name is Natasha. Natasha DiNozzo. On with the story, now.