Nang maggabi na, sinamahan ko na sa kanilang kwarto ang kambal na alaga ko at ang aking adoptive son. Let me tell you how complicated my relationship with them is.
Noong makilala ko si Arthur Blithe Von Dutch, a few years back, nagpakilala siya bilang Art Chevy.
Ako ay isang depressed na tao noon, kaya naman, sa isang park ako napadpad isang araw.
Nobody knew that one day I ran away from home, pero within that 24 hour period, nakauwi rin naman ako.
Sa aking pagkakadepress, naisip kong humiga sideways sa aspalto ng park na, napuntahan ko. At dun ako napansin ng isang napaka-gwapong nilalang si Art Chevy, pakilala niya.
He was the only one who coaxed me to get up from my lying down and even drove me to my house, kasi shunga ako noon, na gumala na hindi marunong bumalik sa pinanggalingan.
I know, I shouldn't blame myself for what happened to my parents. They died in a car accident. Nandun ako. Pauwi na kami from my school kasi kaka-graduate ko lang.
Balak ko pa naman na makipag-family date with Alfred Beet with my and his family.
Eh pahamak yung panahon. Our car skidded on the wet road and it uncontrollably crashed towards a tree. Since, the road we took was dark and foggy and rainy, hindi maayos na nakita ni Dad ang kalsada.
Miraculously, ako lang ang naka-survive. I still am very sad about what happened.
Still, I had to pick myself up again kahit naulila na ako. With the help of my two closest friends, I slowly recovered. But, I didn't really tell them na parang gusto ko na lang rin mawala at sumunod kayla Mom.
"Tulala siya oh, tulo pa laway." Tinapik ko ang kamay nitong si Art Chevy. Nandito kami ngayon sa isang liblib na apartment building.
Sumama ako sa kanya dito sa Amerika. Yes, Amerika. Hindi ko sinabi kayla Ryn at Alfred itong trip to Amerika. Ni hindi nga rin nila alam na nag-ala tanan mode ako with Art Chevy. Ang sinabi ko lang sa kanila na mag-around the world ako mag-isa.
Hindi ko naman inakala na aabutin ako ng tatlong taon bago makabalik sa Pilipinas.
During that time, I was coping with my depression. Kahit na hindi ko kailanman inisip na sa isang serious relationship kami ni Art, kasi he's so handsome at maraming chikababes na lumalapit sa kanya. Pinapalapit naman niya.
I didn't mind at first pero nang madevelop ng konti ang feelings ko for him dahil na rin sa iisang bubong kami nakatira, I kinda flirted with him and we ended up making out.
His hands are already touching my shoulders and ramdam ko na baka may magmilagro na kami dito. But, the doorbell of his apartment flat rang.
He pulled away from me and with matching magka-salubong na kilay, he opened the door.
"C.c.?!" I heard him say. Pumasok ang isang voluptuous na babae na may dalang kahon.
Bago niya kausapin si Art, nilapag niya ang box sa coffee table. Habang ako naman ay nag-ayos ng sarili kasi para akong bagong gising na hindi naman. Alam na.
"What are you doing here?" galit na sabi ni Art. "Well, I dropped Igi Boy here and I'm about to go to the airport, I have a fashion show to attend."
Patuloy silang nag-usap at nauwi sa paglabas nila pababa ng apartment building.
Naiwan ako at yung kahon na ang pangalan ay Igi Boy?
"Waah!" Nanlaki ang aking mga mata sa narinig. Sumilip ako sa kahon at muntik na akong mabuwal sa sofa.
"Baby?!" So si Igi Boy itong baby at hindi yung kahon.
"Waaah!" The baby cried louder. Napakamot ako ng aking ulo at nagdalawang isip kung bubuhatin ko ba ang bata.
After a few more moments, I decided to carry the child. He suddenly stopped crying.
I gently cradled the baby and he looked at me.
He has the eyes of his father. Dark blue. And kahit na sandali ko lang nakita ang kanyang nanay, alam kong anak nila ito. "Igi boy daw ikaw? Ayoko, gusto ko Azrael Jackson, AJ for short." Wala sa wisyo kong sambit.
I think I instantly fell in love with this kid at first sight. Nginitian ko siya and kissed his forehead. I rocked him in my arms and he fell asleep.
Halos hindi ko naramdaman ang pagbalik ni Art dito sa apartment kasi mesmerized ako kay AJ.
"Quelly ano kasi," Napatingin ako sa kanya.
He started explaining himself. Na kesyo daw hindi niya alam na nabuntis niya si Cecilia Stace, ang kanyang girl bestfriend.
"Yung kanina bago sila dumating, are we a couple or hindi na?" My focus is still towards his son. "Hmmm? Ako na lang tatayong nanay nitong anak mo, mukhang inabandona na siya ng kanyang nanay."
From my idealistic mind, nag-conclude na agad ako na iniwan itong si AJ dito para magwork ang nanay niya sa kung saan man.
"Are you going to register him as your son?" Napangiti ako sa tanong niya. "Hmmm... kung hindi pa siya nafifill-upan ng birth certificate, why not?" Alam ko hibang na ako sa puntong ito. Me suddenly wanting to be a mother to a child na hindi ko naman kaano-ano?
"Well, I have connections, to do that, kung gusto mo nga, gawin kitang biological mother ni Igi Boy."
I pressed my lips together before telling him what's on my mind. "Hindi na, siguro adoptive mother na lang." And so, we registered the child carrying my maiden name and his father's last name. 'Azrael Jackson Bael Von Dutch.'
Maiden name? What? Yes, ikinasal muna kami ni Art Chevy, na nalaman ko ay alias niya lang pala ang binigay niya sa aking pangalan.
"You are married to me because of my son, is there a possibility na maging real family tayo, my other half?"
Gusto ko man maging totoo ang lahat ng ito, I just kept him in the dark, always telling him na mas importante ngayon si AJ.
Tumango siya. Umabot ng tatlong taon ang set-up naming tatlo. I'm the Mother of AJ, a wife to Arthur Blithe Von Dutch.
Really ideal, until one day I've had enough, puro kasi sugal sa casino si Art. Hindi na kami masayang pamilya tulad noong una.
He realized na kung hindi lang rin naman niya ako magiging asawa romantically and intimately, magsusugal na lang raw siya at mambabae. Tiniis ko lahat yun. Hanggang sa dumating na ako sa punto na ayaw ko na nang ganito.
I left a note beside our room's bedside table.
I kissed AJ goodbye and almost wanted to kick his father off the bed. Inumaga nanaman kasi ng uwi.
He might be rich, pero ayoko na talaga, I brought the only luggage I have when I came here sa Amerika.
"Das vidanya, Amerika!" I said before I boarded the taxi cab I hailed.
At yun ang una at huli kong pangingibang bansa. I realized na dito talaga ako sa homeland kong mahal, ako mananatili na lamang.